things these days

I am so sorry to be MIA these past few weeks!  Let's see if I can quickly sum up what's going on:

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Thanksgiving.  This used to be my favorite holiday when I was an older child/young adult.  I will have to write sometime about what Thanksgiving was like at my parents' house growing up--something unique to them and so beautiful and rewarding that has continued to shape me even as an adult.  As a married woman, it's not so fun.  To be honest, it is a little hard to spend every holiday at my in-law's house, just because of the constant  underlying negativity.  While we choose to do so for all kinds of good reasons, it is still a little hard for me.  This is a big topic, not one I want to go into here in depth, but it just means what while we had a really nice time and visit up with DH's parents, the extended weekend was still stressful, and I was pretty depressed afterwards.

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Rebound behavior.  The kids were horrible at the beginning of last week, we worked through it, they were AWESOME Thurs and Friday of last week when we had to work really hard to get some important school done before Friday (see below).  But then Saturday morning I reached a NEW RECORD in my whole Mommying career, when I had ALL FOUR CHILDREN crying in anger at me AT ONE TIME!  This was because, in my unforgivable meanness, I told the kids at 9:00 a.m. that they had to get out of bed and get ready for the day, since they had been playing in bed for a long time and were now fighting.  Oh, and Smiley was told it was time to use the potty.  All four of them had simultaneous flat-out tanrums, with gargoyle faces and stomping and bursting into tears.  All I could do was lift my arms triumphantly and whoop, "Four for four!  Whoo-hoo!  A new record!  I am the best Mommy EVER!"  Which did not help them, but did help me.

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The yearly writing assignment is due for my two eldest students.  This is a requirement of our public charter school, through which we homeschool, and you would think would not be a very big deal around here since I used to teach writing to university students.  Did you catch that?  This is what I used to do for a living, just with more complex goals and higher expectations.  I'm much more qualified than most homeschool parents in this one requirement, and it should be a snap.  But, ALAS, every year these assignments fill me with DREAD and TREPIDATION for the simple reason that they are written by an employee of the charter who is neither a writer nor a teacher of writing.  In fact, I have heard she is a mathmatician, which really does explain a lot, since the grading rubric for these essays reads like a checklist for an algebraic proof.  I am sure this employee is well-meaning and doing the best she can--but her assignments are terrible, and horribly confusing.  There is much hair pulling and gnashing of teeth every year in trying to figure out what the assignment is asking us to do--and that's just me.  Understandably, the kids get frustrated too, but are overall troopers and do a great job once Mommy figures out what the heck is expected from us this year and how to interpret it for my children in a way that will encourage their best understanding and writing.   

Merry finished hers after TWO DAYS of struggle with the assignment, which was ONE PARAGRAPH.  (The non-negotiable topic--"How is snow similar and different from rain?"  First of all, gotta love the improper English in that sentence, which should read "How is snow similar to and different from rain?"  Second of all, we live in CALIFORNIA.  All the children who will be answering this prompt live in CALIFORNIA, as does the woman who wrote the prompt.  If they have fully experienced snow once in their lives, they are lucky.  Arrrrggggghhhhhh!)

Sunny still has to do hers.  Which is five paragraphs.  Of exactly three sentences each.  For a total of fifteen sentences in the essay.  A sixth grader's essay required to have three-sentence paragraphs.  Clearly the goal is not good critical thinking demonstrated in well-formulated and defended paragraphs--the goal is fitting the bare minimum of elemental reasoning on the given topic into fifteen sentences. (Sound of said gnashing of teeth.)

Ok, let's move on.  My jaw is hurting.

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PURGING. oh, my word, the PURGING.  My motto for the past two week (and looks like it will be for this week too) is

GET. IT. OUT.

I am really stressed about how much stuff we have.  We have finally this past year reached full capacity.  This means there are some things we don't have a good "home" for in the house, which means the things sit uncomfortably in places they should not be, leading to it looking more cluttered and being harder to clean.  So, the obvious solution is to get it gone, and I am loving the purging.  I am freecycling and will be dropping off those things this week--and if someone does not want my offerings, they just might end up in the trash.  That's how serious I am.  I hate to waste things that still have life in them--but my life is more important than their life, you know what I'm sayin'?  I'm even going through and sorting stuff being stored under the house in bins, and have already emptied two large plastic tubs worth.  It feels good, and is part of my psychologically getting ready to bring more things into the house at Christmas.

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And just in time, since I have been on a month-long online shopping spree!

Which is also very fun, but which is also a little stressful, because while I am only buying things we actually need or could really use (and a couple of small things which the girls really want), we seem to need a lot of stuff at the moment.  So in the midst of the piles and sorting, I have a quietly growing pile of things that I know will need "homes" in my home at the end of the month. . . I will definitely write more about that later--while I hate adding more things to our house at the moment, there are things we are getting that should make our lives easier, more organized, more stress-free, etc.  I can't wait to share them with you later!

I am trying to finish up my Christmas shopping this week, and only have a few things left to get.  But there are so many demands on my time this week that I'm not sure I'll get it done this week. (Rebecca, your photo request has top priority--as soon as I can figure out how to resize with our new photo editor!)  I LOVE giving gifts, and the growing pile of gifts is fun to see, but I can't wait to finish packing the gifts that will leave my house so I can GET. THEM. OUT. ; )

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OK, those are just a FEW of the things going on right now.  Really!  There is SO much more to tell!  I hope to tell you more later, 'cause it's all part of the big picture of How I Am Doing that I know some of you care about and want to hear.  (I have been getting emails from Those I Love asking in concern how I am doing, since I have not been blogging as much.  Hopefully now you know at least I am alive and definitely kicking!)

The bottom line is that I am pretty busy and plenty stressed.  But I am also really trying to keep my spirit focused on the Good stuff, the worthwhile, the blessings.  I have so enjoyed reading in some blogs how people are focusing on the life of the spirit so far this Advent season--will any of you with a great idea or an encouraging word please leave it in the comments?  In the midst of all this busyness, I don't want to lose focus on what really matters, and every little bit of Perspective helps!

Much love to you all this cold Monday afternoon!