words i am pondering today



Do your little bit of good where you are; it is those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.--Desmond Tutu


Wednesday, December 21, 2011

on the language of unlove--the second letter


Dear R---,

When I sat down to write that last letter to you, I actually intended to write about gift giving and receiving, but was completely surprised to find that the Holy Spirit had other plans! So I filled that first letter with the things that must have been needing said the most—how important you are to me.

But now Christmas is fast approaching, so I need to now write the things I meant to in the first letter, so hopefully whatever giving we do this Christmas is done freely and without any lingering of hurt from years past. I'm not intending this to be a list of gift ideas, but more a step towards our better understanding of one another.

You love to give gifts—and giving gifts is one way you show love to us. I love to give too. So it is sadly ironic that gift-giving seems to have become a language of “unlove” between you and I, that becomes like a gap between us, relationally. I have been thinking about this for some time, wondering how we can bridge that gap, how we can each learn new ways of giving and receiving gifts that the other will understand as love. Here I'll try to share some of the specific ways I have thought of that I most feel loved when receiving gifts. I would very much hearing yours in return, sometime when you have had a chance to think through what most matters to you, and how you most feel loved when giving and receiving gifts.

Idea #1—I feel loved when I receive a gift that is exactly what I wanted and needed.
You have been so thoughtful in past years, R---, taking me shopping so I could pick out things that fit my wardrobe needs, asking for specific lists, or telling me to go pick out the one I like (like the leather coat). I don't have room to keep things that don't fit my needs, so it is so great to be able to choose the items that I know we can get the most use and pleasure out of. Gift certificates are always a good fit too—a C*stco gift card may not be glamorous, but would sure be used and appreciated. ; )

Idea #2—I feel loved when I receive a gift that shows the giver cares about what is important to me.
There are life values you and I sometimes chat about when we are together, things that I am working on to improve my family's health and build our faithfulness as good stewards, like trying to eat more raw foods, trying to buy things made in the USA, trying to avoid plastic, trying to buy fair trade. When you give me a gift that directly reflects those conversations, that shows you listen to my values and cares and encourages my desire to be a better homemaker, steward, consumer, etc.--like the VitaMix, or toys for the kids made of wood--I feel loved, and you and I often have the chance to grow closer by focusing on beliefs and values we have in common.

Idea #3—I feel loved when I receive a gift that blesses others.
You have said many times that we don't need anything, that the kids in Arun's orphanage should remind us of how little we need, and how much we should appreciate what we have. So true! Remembering those less fortunate while gift-giving and receiving helps keep the focus of Christmas on Christ, Love Incarnate. For me, personally, any gift you want to give in my name to an orphanage or Christ-serving charity is a fabulous gift! It's like I get to share in the joy of the gift-giving, and the pleasure of receiving, all at once! What's not to love?

Idea #4—I feel loved when I receive a gift that honors the nature of my unique home.
We have received many good gifts from you over the years—things that beautify our living space, or are useful, or which we wear all the time, or which provide enjoyment for our family. You have given a lot of thoughtful gifts, gifts that showed love and care, and that encouraged creativity and brought us pleasure. We have been so blessed, in so many ways, and you and J--'s generosity is one clear source. We are just now starting to feel the squeeze of material goods in our little house, and that is not necessarily a bad thing, since it reflects the abundance of our blessings. But it does mean we can't continue to bring in material goods at the same pace as we have in past years, which is also not a nad thing, since we have very few real needs, now we have the perfect opportunity to try to make gift-giving and receiving more simple, heartfelt, and less focused on material things. So now I find that any gift that does not require me to get even more creative with our storage space is an extra blessing! Food treats, art supplies, family adventures, classes—all things you have given us in the past—I appreciate more and more these days. And sometimes the non-material gifts can be the most helpful, too; for example, this Fall we did not have as much school funding to spread around, and so there were fun things we could not do, like the Mad M*lecule science parties, that would be a fantastic grandparent gift—same with a gift certificate to L-----' Academy of Martial Arts (the school does not cover the testing fees, which get higher as your child advances!).

Idea #5--I feel loved when I receive a gift that does not add one more thing to my “to do” list.
I am in a season of life where I feel like my energy, my free time, my mental abilities, all seem to be pretty full up. (I have a feeling you might say the same thing!) I only have so many resources, and they are pretty well accounted for at the moment. So gifts that don't require regular maintenance or special treatment or learning new skills are also blessings.

Idea #6—I feel loved when I receive a gift with no strings attached (other than gift wrapping!).
There are lots of really good things out there in the world, beautiful things, practical things, desirable things—but even if they are really good things, they may not be the right things for me. The gift may have been thoughtful, meaningful, good—exactly the kind of gift I love to receive. But it still might sometimes not work out, or be the blessing the giver intended, and if such a situation happens, I want to hold onto and cherish the giver, and the thought and the meaning and the good, but not have to hold onto the thing. A gift that is given freely, without strings, is really love for me.

So, those are the ideas that I could pinpoint as I sat down to really think through and process the whole idea of giving and receiving as a language of love, or sometimes unlove. You and I have been learning and growing so much together, even in the past year, and I am sure we will figure out how to “speak” one another's gift languages. I care immensely about your feelings in this area, and never want you to feel unappreciated or unloved ever again in how you and I give and receive gifts between our families and one another. I want gifts to be fun and relationship-building, and want to hear your thoughts and feelings about how you are best loved through gift giving and receiving. I want to give you gifts that will show you love in the ways you interpret it. Most of all, I want to learn to give and receive in ways that honor Jesus, not just at Christmastime, but all the time.

With all this said, if you don't feel like giving me any gifts at all this year, I don't blame you. ; ) It's not like you owe me anything, or have not already given me so much, or like I deserve anything. There is one gift I would like to ask from you, though. It's that you accept this letter, and the one that came before, as a sign of my commitment to loving you long-term, in all the beautiful and best ways God has in store.

With lots of love,

Lisa









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