update on the weekend: blessings and bummers, but mostly blessings

a)
God is faithful, as always.  MIL and I packed our days this weekend with lots of positive activities and even though I was exhausted all day Sat, and even more Sunday, I just kept moving and doing and not reacting to things spoken and all was fine.  In fact, maybe being so tired was a blessing--I was way past the edge, irritable tired stage, and was using all my energy just slogging through whatever task was before me while trying to pretend I was not.  And so I had no reserves left for any kind of spirited response to anything MIL said.  I just would not answer, maybe look at her and smile gently in acknowledgement that I heard her, and while in the past any empty quiet space between MIL and I might feel strained, I did not have the energy yesterday to care, and I think it was actually a very comfortable silence for both of us.  I would never have expected that--normally I am afraid of long silences between us, afraid MIL is feeling uncomfortable or will read something negative into my silence, or start thinking of negative things which will then be said--so normally my strategy is to fill silences between us with safe topics, like how her extended family is doing, her work, Survivor, etc.  Of course, this does not always work either, and sometimes a topic I thought was foolproof ends up studded with landmines and something blows.  So I think this experience of positive silence was good--maybe it is a good sign of some slight comfort in familiarity between us.

Overall, this was a nice visit from them, and MIL was showing real consideration and restraint in how she used her words.  So, not a stress or pain-free weekend by far, but SO MUCH better than it could have been. I am thankful!

b)
DH's parents came this weekend to help us out with house projects.  So FIL and DH worked on leveling the house under the kitchen and bathroom and building up the foundation there, which needs to be done before we can start our bathroom project.  They also bought some parts from Home Depot and hooked our old bathroom sink back up so we could use it.  I am trying to be happy about this.  You see, I had been without any working bathroom sink for two years.  The first year was not my choice--while the sink was finally completely unusable, we could not move forward on the project because we had not found a faucet we both liked, and I had not yet sold DH on the idea of the remodel to gain us more usable space.  I was willing to be patient to get what I really wanted. 

Then last summer DH's parents brought us a sink from a garage sale that we could hook up in place of our broken one.  So thoughtful of them.  But my point of view was, I have suffered with potty germs in my kitchen sink for a whole year--I don't want it to be for nothing.  I know full well if we take the time and effort and $ to install that sink with an el-crapo Home Depot faucet, it will be the only bathroom remodel sink I get.  So that sink is coming into this house over my dead body.  I did not actually say this, but did firmly request to DH that we not take them up on the offer, and I am very thankful he acquiesced, and his parents respected our wishes without major issue.  The sink has been sitting in our front side yard since then, a gleaming white eye-catching focal-point in our current white trash landscaping, reminding me that the threat to my remodel dreams was not over.

So now it has been two years without a sink, but we have made progress.  DH finally caught the vision of the bathroom remodel and he and his dad even drew out rough plans for it.  Yay!!!!!  We found our new faucet. We bought our new sink. We have researched windows.  We settled on stained wood instead of painted.  I saw my dream bathroom floor, and DH likes it too--although we disagree about what to do with the walls if we do the floor that way. . . . We even drove to San Francisco to select the soapstone slabs and tile we would need for the counter and backsplash.  The bathroom project is underway--very, very slowly, but forward motion of any kind is great.

But this past weekend DH and his dad ran to Home Depot and bought the small parts needed for one last patch job on our old sink, which has been hanging there in the bathroom all this time, used mainly to hold the toothbrush basket and the occassional magazine.  They did not say one word to me (hmmm, wonder why?) but went about "fixing" the sink to make it usable once more.

Yes, it is nice to have a working bathroom sink, and the girls think it is so novel to wash their hands in the bathroom that they are mostly remembering to use it and not the kitchen sink.  : )  I'll be happy with that.  And they did not install the garage sale sink, so I'll be happy about that too. (It's a nice sink, don't get me wrong, much nicer than our current one, but it is a potentially permanent stop-gap.)   But I have to admit, what made me happiest was that the faucet started dripping and the plumbing started leaking onto the floor within a few hours of the repair.  That sounds warped, I know--but it's like a promise that this "fix" is truly only temporary and my modest but so needed bathroom remodel will not be set aside. 

c)
This weekend we had the most amazing weather.  Upper 70's, sunny blue skies, the most gorgeous weather--and it's February.  I am sorry for the rest of you who are experiencing real winter--I invite ANY of you to come out and visit us! : )  What is truly funny, though, is hearing locals in the library and groccery store complaining about the heat.  We are just too spoiled living in paradise. 
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Most times after we have had a weekend with DH's parents I find I need a "mental health day."  Today the girls played in their bedroom until 1:30.  Then they ate "brunch" and moved out to the back deck to play the rest of the beautiful afternoon.  No official school today. I did some fun things around the house--I'll show you tomorrow!--and otherwise spent the whole rest of the day on the computer, checking out new blogs.  It actually felt really productive, and God even spoke to me through a few of the things I read--I'll be sharing some of them with you later this week!  So it was overall a good day.  Now if DH and I can smooth our feathers, so to speak--we have not had a chance to really talk to each other since our argument Fri night, and I know things are still sensitive. . . .

Or maybe this is a great night to avoid any conflict and watch Netflix instead! ; )

Wishing you all a beautiful and peace-filled week.