the evolution of a dinner--a "How To" for you

First, run errands with your children around lunchtime.  On the way home, pass Taco Bell and get everyone in the mood for Mexican-ish food. Resist the strong temptation to stop at Taco Bell, instead congratulate yourself mentally for your will power and actually having rice in the house, and tell the kids you will make them burrito bowls for lunch instead. 

At home, be thankful for the white rice that you got at Winco with MIL, which is not as good for you as brown, but which only takes 15 minutes to cook.  And is really yummy. While the rice is cooking, search the fridge and freezer for any suitable veggies with which to make fajitas, and come up empty handed, since you have not been back to Safeway since that terrible morning three weeks ago when the express clerk scolded you for violating the sanctity of her zone with more than 15 items, an event which you are clearly long over.

Also while the rice is cooking, have the children come to the table and eat the last pieces of dry Crispix and raisins still in their bowls from when you had to rush away from the breakfast table to make it to martial arts at 10:30 (dry cereal because you ran out of milk yesterday).  When the rice is done, and the bowls are empty, put a generous helping into each child's bowl.  Top the rice with a little salsa, some canned black beans (rinsed and drained), and shredded cheddar.  Give them tortilla chips to scoop it up with.  Savor the moment, as your children devour your "efforts" and praise your culinary "skills."

Don't put the food away, because you are not quite ready to eat but will as soon as the kids are settled for naptime shortly.  Then, make up your bowl of food and put away the cheese, since you have to, but leave the rinsed beans in the collander and the cooked rice in the pot, because you can and you are lazy and just want to go sit down and eat in peace in front of the computer and worry about cleaning up the mess later.  Eat, rest and refresh, but be sure never to go back into the kitchen, lest you see the mess and feel the need to do something about it.  When you do have to pass through the kitchen, carefully avert your eyes and keep your mind otherwise occupied.  After all, your toddler really needs a nap, and although he is currently kicking the bars of the crib and happily yelling, you don't want to keep him from sleeping by making noise in the kitchen.

When naptime is over, get involved in a massive purging effort under the house.  Keep it up until it is way past time for you to be cooking dinner.  When you have procrastinated as long as you can, head back to the kitchen while trying to think what you could make for dinner that does not involve milk or bread or fresh fruits and vegetables, and see the rice and beans you never put away.  You will be inspired! 

Grab a big pot and start heating a couple of inches of water in it.  (Normally you would have sauted some onion in the bottom of the pot first, but you ran out of onion last Friday).  When the water is boiling, toss in about 4-5 small sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed.  Cover and let boil until almost cooked. 

Then remove the lid and add the leftover black beans (and rinse and add one more can of black beans too). 

Also take the jar of salsa you had emptied at lunch, put a little water in it and shake it up really well, then pour that into your pot (Frugal Tip!).  Then get out a new jar of salsa and add some of that to the pot, whatever amount looks good. Add some cumin too, about 1-2 tsp. again, whatever looks good.

Also add some frozen corn--Trader Joe's roasted corn is ideal--and dump in the rice leftover from lunch. Stir well, put the lid back on, and cook several minutes more, until it is all hot and bubbly.

Also snip the last of the green onions into the pot, about 3. 

Also at this point, use your kitchen scissors to snip into the pot some thin strips of the last of your fresh greens (kale or spinach or chard--any will do) and cook for *just* a minute or two--make sure the greens are still bright green and not sickly when you are done! 

Thanks to the salsa, no need to even add pepper or salt, unless you really want.

Serve to your children, who will oooh and ahhh over the beautiful arrangement of colors in their bowls, and proclaim you a wonderful cook. 

So there you have it, my friends, how to be a desperate amazing, lazy resourceful, laughable inspired rockstar in the kitchen!

(Don't be put off by the humor--it WAS really yummy, and really easy! : )