Better than chocolate

It is the season of Lent again. All I really know about Lent is that it is a 40 day period of fasting in anticipation of the celebration of Easter, when Jesus Christ arose from the tomb, victor over sin and death. I know it is traditionally practiced by Roman Catholics, and probably some other more "high church" Christian denominations. I don't know more because I did not grow up observing it, and my casual web search brought up pages that only confused me more--I guess there have historically been a lot of different ways and times to "do" Lent, and it seems to mean different things to different groups.

So I guess all I wanted to share here was what it means to me. I started observing Lent a few years back, knowing just the very basic premise of it: that it is a period of time to fast, to set aside our own fleshly desires, in order that we may be self-reflective about our relationship with God and approach Easter morning with renewed hearts and minds. It is a time for repenting of whatever we have been using to fill us up instead of the Holy Spirit. It is a time for saying to God, all I really need is you. All I enjoy comes from Your hands. You are richer and more satisfying than anything else. Look, I give up for You my favorite earthly pleasure, to show you that I love You more than I love it. That I need You more than I need it. That I desire You more than I desire it.

It is also a great time for me to reflect on how I might be living unwisely with my time, my energies, my tastes, my body, my thoughts, etc. And I confess that I am easily obsessive compulsive about whatever is exciting or soothing me at any period of time. So about once a year a time of reflection and purging of bad habits is a really good spiritual exercise. In the past I have given up not just one thing for Lent, but several things together. Two years ago it was:

--sugar (specifically chocolate and Cokes)

--pleasure reading (magazines, books, etc--of course the Bible was allowed ; )

--movies

--eBay (esp. Oilily clothes for the girls)

I had become O/C about all of them, I felt, and it was time to make myself break any psychological dependency. And it was really enlightening that year, because I discovered the hardest one of all of those to do without was eBay! I never would have expected that, and did not realize I had become addicted. Oh, and addicted I was! What started out as a practical chore (finding cute clothes for G, who needed them) and turned into a hobby (what cute clothes! what else is out there?) had taken a hold on me, in an ugly way. During Lent that year I walked around in withdrawl, with fidgety hands and a vague feeling I was needing something, and would find myself start to sit down at the computer, or telling myself "you need that Coke." The 40 day fast was so important that year, and helped me see my whole spiritual being (body, mind, spirit and will) in a new way, a way that helped me see my need for continual renewal through Christ.

I even had a theme song for Lent that year: "Ice Cream," by Sarah McLachlan ; )

Your love is better than ice cream
better than anything else that I've tried
and your love is better than ice cream
everyone here knows how to fight

and it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place
where we started from

Your love is better than chocolate
better than anything else that I've tried
oh love is better than chocolate
everyone here knows how to cry

it's a long way down
it's a long way down
it's a long way down to the place
where we started from...

So, yesterday I realized it was Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. But I am unprepared! I had not thought through what I should fast of this year, what I need to give up. I do not get on eBay much anymore, I have been abstaining from Coke for a while already, I am not really obsessive about anything at the moment. (In fact, this blog, which has a potentially dangerous lure, is so far not a problem simply because I know it will be read by good friends--and I was actually embarassed last week when I made three posts in one day, as if I was telegraphing to you all "I should not have been on the computer this long today!" And multiple postings also seem egoistic--I fear I try your patience already, as I am anything but concise.)

So I spent a lot of time thinking yesterday, and asking God to show me what He wanted me to give to Him this year. And interestingly, the things that seemed to immediately jump to mind were not taking aways, but addings. For example, I have become a chronic nail-bitter again (which I have been off and on my entire life) and I have often wondered about how my periods of nail biting might reflect something happening inside me, some lacking, some subconscious battle of self (of unrecognized sin?)--of something literally eating away at me. So I will be making a conscious effort to break the habit once again, but instead of focusing on the without (the biting) the gift to God is really the with (the hands restored to the glory He intends). And isn't that a satisfying reminder of the whole purpose of Lent, anyway?

The other things I will ADD:

--daily Scripture readings with the girls

--more speaking my husband's love language
--a healthy, holy mouth
--a thankful heart (put in practice by daily countings of blessings)

The word "add" brought the fragment of a verse from Scripture to mind, so I looked it up, and was delighted to discover that Jesus, in Matthew Chapter 6, addresses the very spirit behind Lent, at least for me:

When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrits do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. . . .

Do not store up for yourself treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where theives break in and steal. But store up for yourself treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. . . .

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? . . .

But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

or, in the King James Version: "All these things will be added unto you."

Happy Lent, everyone!

image from daily mail online