Updated update

It is amazing how much difference one day makes.

When I wrote that last post, what was it, Thursday?  After two nights of the most awful sleep--that night I had the most fantastic night of sleep!  Ten hours of sleep, with at least one good nostril all night long, AND even when I was laying on my side, so I could really relax in one of my favorite sleeping positions, which I had not been able to do for a week and a half.  Oh, merciful Jesus! 

And right before I woke up, I had a dream, and I don't remember much now, but do know that Dorothy and another mom (in my dream I knew her, but now can't remember) were there, and we were at some kind of women's/mom's event, and they were smiling and gave me hugs and patted my back and encouraged me.   I have mentioned before how much I appreciate these women, from the amazing, encouraging, inspiring blogs I read there on the top sidebar section, and it was so fun to feel all that warmth from them in my dream. (Because they would do the same in real life, so the dream was the next best thing. : ) 

And then I get to my computer with my breakfast and cup of tea, and see the comments you all left--thank you!  But what a coincidence that Barb (aka "PsychoMom") would happen to visit and leave an encouraging word for me on that last update the same morning I had dreamt of Dorothy--since she is herself one of those amazing moms on my sidebar, and a friend of Dorothy IRL.  It seemed to bring the warm-fuzzies of my dream all the closer, and suggested greater spiritual significance. 

And there was greater meaning in her sweet, encouraging comment to my post--because while most of you likely do not read her blog, I do, and have for several years now, and know that while her family's home situation has always been challenging because of her eldest daughter's FASD, it has recently been very traumatic and is reaching a critical stage where their daughter might have to live outside the home.  This is a family who has suffered so much, and Barb in particular bears the brunt of so much of their daughter's violence, because she is the Mom.  This woman has so much to be bitter about, to rant about, to at the very least complain about.  But what does she do?  She comes over and visits my blog (probably because I've been leaving what I am intending to be loving, encouraging comments on her blog, and she's thinking, who is this woman? ; ) and takes a moment to leave kind, postive words on my uber-pathetic gripe about allergies. 

Not only that, but her own blog post I read that morning really put everything back into Perspective: 

I have been reflective this past week, on the challenges God has blessed us with. Sometimes it is hard to see through the forest, and to see the challenges as a blessing. Really hard. But when I sit back, spend some time in his word, I am able to see the blessings. I don't see them all, yet. I know that He has some more to reveal to me that I am not yet ready for.

Allergies are nothing compared to loving so fiercely a child with brain damage, who breaks your heart every day, but whom the all-knowing, all-loving God has entrusted to you.  And yet, even the little trials we go through in life give us new ways to consider and practice things like constant awareness of blessings, patience (i.e. long-suffering), wisdom, enduring hardship with grace, living out the idea of God's strength being perfected in my weakness--all things I hope to cultivate in my own life.

So, at this point in the morning on Friday I was as well-rested as I could be (still feeling like I had been hit by a truck, but truly elated from all that good sleep), encouraged by women God has placed in my life (even if mainly through their blog writing), and convicted of my own pathetic self-focused and small view of things.  God had my attention, and it was just no coincidence that the next thing I read that morning so perfectly addressed so many things in my heart.  It was written by Kari, of  the blog Coffee Catharsis, which she had to make private this past year for the safety of their family.  I am going to re-post most of it here, with her permission pending, because it spoke to me and challenged me in such a good way (and might you as well):

It was a difficult time but I made a very intentional shift and started trying to write more about situations I felt I handled well as a mom or things that were working with our family. I still “vomited” my frustrations, fears and anger in my writing but I came to realize that only felt good for a few moments. It wasn’t making me stronger or healthier. Reading it again later didn’t feel therapeutic.

I decided to pay closer attention to the words of Philippians 4:8- Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

A friend who recently started reading this blog told me that it seems like I always do or say the right things with my kids. I don’t. Not by a long shot. But I’ve tried to write more about what I noticed myself doing well and less about my parenting blunders or the things I felt I could not change. Vomit attracted more readers but I don’t really care about that now that this blog is private.

I made another shift in how I allowed the stress of this kind of parenting to affect my marriage. Instead of being frustrated in our parenting differences, I tried to notice the good things that StarBUCK was doing with the kids. I’m glad I started paying attention because it has made a difference in our relationship and in my own parenting. That’s the focus of today’s post.

The picture above is of two small canvases that Java painted yesterday afternoon at Latte’s house. They will be among the collection of artwork that hangs in the still under construction Barbie house. StarBUCK put several hidden magnets in the walls of the house so that artwork (with magnets on the back) can be added or moved from room to room. He made a small framed replica of our family Christmas picture to hang inside, too! (On a creepier note, he is also cutting the head off a plastic deer so Barbie can hang that on her wall. His decorating taste typically involves trophy antlers.)

Java has been rather awful toward StarBUCK these past few months. She screams at him and calls him names, most likely because of what has been going on with her birth dad and a personal struggle with allegiances. . . .  

When I’ve been the recipient of such venom in the past, I’ve responded with hurt and resentment. StarBUCK had a more admirable response. He started building this Barbie house with Java. These added little touches like the Barbie artwork collection tell me that it isn’t finishing this project that is the goal right now. The goal is the time they spend together in the process of making it.

I want to learn to focus more on the process than on achieving the end result. I want to respond to challenges with love. Thank you for all you’ve taught me, StarBUCK. ♥ 

Wow.  So much going on there that strikes a personal chord.  She opens with the very same piece of Scripture that God reminded me of at the end of my own last blog post.  She writes about making a conscious choice to focus on the positive in her blogging--even if her blog is now private and she can in theory say whatever she wants.  She writes about making a conscious choice to pay more attention to the positive in her marriage, esp, what her husband does that is honest, true, pure, noble.  And she writes about wanting to see her life and it's daily challenges from the view of valuing the process more than the end result.  Oh, so important for me to be reminded of these days, in parenting, in home-making (and home-improving!), in my marriage, in my spiritual journey. 

Thank you, Dear Lord, for your promises and provision.  Thank you ladies of my blog village--you may not have claimed me as such, but I claim you! ; )  And thank you, all of my friends and family who stop by and see what's going on with me.  You don't have to, and yet you do, and I admit it makes me feel a little loved. : )

So, happy Sunday to you all, and may this next week be one marked by many blessings, and our awareness of them all.