gripes and gratitude

A little update, again.

It is just so hard to get my brain going to write these days--mainly because I have been sleeping so poorly. I started this post yesterday, and here's hoping I can get it done in one sitting.*
 
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(Grousing to commence--you have been warned ; )

Allergies continue to rampage, and it is so weird how every day is different than the day before.  My nose's functionality comes and goes throughout the day.  But generally I have been blessed with one good nostril most of this week.  Except for the night before last, which was a complete nightmare.  It felt like my sinuses were packed with play-dough, and all night long I felt like I was smothering and could not breathe.  (I was sleeping flat on my back, since that has been the only position to help breathing since the allergies started, but I think something was occassionally clogging my throat--phlegm?  collapsing soft palate?  Satan?--and I would start choking and gasping, not able to breathe at all.  UGH.)  But I was so tired I was not awake enough to do anything about it, and would just have terrible dreams and kept waking up choking. . . finally in the wee hours of the morning I woke up--mouth so parched I could not close it until I drank some water--and at that point was lucid enough to stack some pillows behind me to elevate my  upper body and then put a damp handkerchief over my mouth so I could breathe moist air through that long enough to fall asleep.  It worked, but overall it was a horrible night's sleep.  So horrible that being awake almost seemed like a better option, but I did get to sleep a little more, and was thankful for those last few hours of sleep when a little boy slipped into bed with me and so the day began in earnest. (And what a sweet way to wake up too. : )

Last night I had one good nostril again, Praise the Good Lord Jesus, and would have slept well--except DH and I went to bed a little too late, and he got up at 5:30 to go to a men's breakfast.  Bless his heart, those of you who know him know what a crazy sacrifice that was.  But unfortunately, since it was pitch black outside, he was turning on lights in here while getting ready for work, and so I was awake until he left around 6:30.  Ugh.  And since it was a day of early classes, I did not get to sleep as long as usual anyway, and had to wake everyone up at 7:30.  So, I'm feeling pretty crappy today after two shortened nights of sleep--neckache from sleeping elevated, backache from I don't know what, heachachy. . . ok, I promise that is the last you will hear me gripe about allergies this season.

But, on the other hand, after that night of horror, all throughout the next day when I would feel the sweet, sweet sensation of air sweeping through one good nostril, I was so grateful, my every exhale was like a prayer of thanksgiving.  I know you all think how she does go on about one good nostril, but I am serious about what a huge blessing this is for me. I love being reminded of how such a little thing is really such a big thing, and being reminded of how much I am dependent upon it for a good life, and how thankful I am that I usually have it.

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And actually, this morning turned out pretty great!  Mainly because when the eldest two are away at class (the LitWits "bus"--aka my dear Becky--picked them up, another thing for which I am extremely grateful, esp. on a morning when I am so bone dead), Mommy takes the morning off from homeschool and gets a chance to blog while the younger two play nicely ; ).  And then as I was finishing my breakfast and tea at the computer, I had just been reading the latest blog post of my dear Susan, with whom I have not spoken in way too long, and got this overwhelming urge to call her.  I did, she was home, we had a great time catching up, and since she is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, it did not matter what we talked about, just hearing her voice made me happy.  And then when we hung up, and I looked at the sun streaming into the living room windows, I got the urge to do some cleaning--mainly because I knew that's what Susan would be doing when she got off the phone, and it was really fun to dive into it thinking of her doing the same!  (Ok, and, I confess, because the sun was shining directly on the computer screen, rendering it unviewable.)  But still, great motivation, and a beautiful time to be motivated, since that is the perfect sunshine to see all my cobwebs. Ah, the blessings of girlfriends, near and far.

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And even though I was feeling pretty poorly most of today, I was really glad to have motivation to do anything, because on Monday I proclaimed to DH that this would be another "Anit-Procrastination Week," and so even though I feel like the week sideswept me and I'm not really as productive as I had hoped, it still feels great to tackle things I have been putting off.  So this week I have made important phone calls, found homes for Christmas gifts, washed bedding, done some deep cleaning, etc.  I guess it is not very impressive as the "A-P Week" I had two weeks ago, during which I did some mending and started mending some damaged books.  But since I feel like crap, and I'm still schooling and cooking and doing basic cleaning and laundry, I'll still count the week a success so far.

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Throughout the day I have made a point of being thankful--there are too many times I am quick to complain, esp. when tired and short tempered and sore.  So it has been a great opportunity to purposefully focus on what is Good and True and Beautiful:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. . . . And the God of peace will be with you.--Phillipians 4:8 and 9b.

So, this week I'll finish out with hopefully productivity and better sleep (please, dear Lord), but definitely with a lot more gratitude.  Any day is better when viewed through thankfulness.



*No, but I finished it in a few hours with breaks for making dinner, getting kids ready for bed, etc.  Good enough!