sunday snapshot

At least one of the blogs I read has this running feature called the "Sunday Snapshot" where you take a pic and blog about it on Sundays and then share the link with others doing the same thing. 

I am waaaaaaaay to lazy at this point to start something regular like that.  And I am not the best photographer, by any means.  But when I sent the girls off to church this morning (I stayed home for a rare morning of rest), their clothing made me smile.  They have this new thing recently, of getting dressed (or creating a dress-up outfit) and then coming to ask me what part of the world or period of time they look like.  This morning, the two youngest came and asked, and all I could say was, "Gypsy." So I decided to get a pic of them when they returned home.

Here are my three colorful, creative girls, out on the back deck, in some of our favorite duds:

No, we don't look like any other family at church, that's for sure! 

: )

(Aunt Becca, notice the vest that is still seeing lots of use?  We have sure enjoyed your handiwork. : )

Updated update

It is amazing how much difference one day makes.

When I wrote that last post, what was it, Thursday?  After two nights of the most awful sleep--that night I had the most fantastic night of sleep!  Ten hours of sleep, with at least one good nostril all night long, AND even when I was laying on my side, so I could really relax in one of my favorite sleeping positions, which I had not been able to do for a week and a half.  Oh, merciful Jesus! 

And right before I woke up, I had a dream, and I don't remember much now, but do know that Dorothy and another mom (in my dream I knew her, but now can't remember) were there, and we were at some kind of women's/mom's event, and they were smiling and gave me hugs and patted my back and encouraged me.   I have mentioned before how much I appreciate these women, from the amazing, encouraging, inspiring blogs I read there on the top sidebar section, and it was so fun to feel all that warmth from them in my dream. (Because they would do the same in real life, so the dream was the next best thing. : ) 

And then I get to my computer with my breakfast and cup of tea, and see the comments you all left--thank you!  But what a coincidence that Barb (aka "PsychoMom") would happen to visit and leave an encouraging word for me on that last update the same morning I had dreamt of Dorothy--since she is herself one of those amazing moms on my sidebar, and a friend of Dorothy IRL.  It seemed to bring the warm-fuzzies of my dream all the closer, and suggested greater spiritual significance. 

And there was greater meaning in her sweet, encouraging comment to my post--because while most of you likely do not read her blog, I do, and have for several years now, and know that while her family's home situation has always been challenging because of her eldest daughter's FASD, it has recently been very traumatic and is reaching a critical stage where their daughter might have to live outside the home.  This is a family who has suffered so much, and Barb in particular bears the brunt of so much of their daughter's violence, because she is the Mom.  This woman has so much to be bitter about, to rant about, to at the very least complain about.  But what does she do?  She comes over and visits my blog (probably because I've been leaving what I am intending to be loving, encouraging comments on her blog, and she's thinking, who is this woman? ; ) and takes a moment to leave kind, postive words on my uber-pathetic gripe about allergies. 

Not only that, but her own blog post I read that morning really put everything back into Perspective: 

I have been reflective this past week, on the challenges God has blessed us with. Sometimes it is hard to see through the forest, and to see the challenges as a blessing. Really hard. But when I sit back, spend some time in his word, I am able to see the blessings. I don't see them all, yet. I know that He has some more to reveal to me that I am not yet ready for.

Allergies are nothing compared to loving so fiercely a child with brain damage, who breaks your heart every day, but whom the all-knowing, all-loving God has entrusted to you.  And yet, even the little trials we go through in life give us new ways to consider and practice things like constant awareness of blessings, patience (i.e. long-suffering), wisdom, enduring hardship with grace, living out the idea of God's strength being perfected in my weakness--all things I hope to cultivate in my own life.

So, at this point in the morning on Friday I was as well-rested as I could be (still feeling like I had been hit by a truck, but truly elated from all that good sleep), encouraged by women God has placed in my life (even if mainly through their blog writing), and convicted of my own pathetic self-focused and small view of things.  God had my attention, and it was just no coincidence that the next thing I read that morning so perfectly addressed so many things in my heart.  It was written by Kari, of  the blog Coffee Catharsis, which she had to make private this past year for the safety of their family.  I am going to re-post most of it here, with her permission pending, because it spoke to me and challenged me in such a good way (and might you as well):

It was a difficult time but I made a very intentional shift and started trying to write more about situations I felt I handled well as a mom or things that were working with our family. I still “vomited” my frustrations, fears and anger in my writing but I came to realize that only felt good for a few moments. It wasn’t making me stronger or healthier. Reading it again later didn’t feel therapeutic.

I decided to pay closer attention to the words of Philippians 4:8- Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

A friend who recently started reading this blog told me that it seems like I always do or say the right things with my kids. I don’t. Not by a long shot. But I’ve tried to write more about what I noticed myself doing well and less about my parenting blunders or the things I felt I could not change. Vomit attracted more readers but I don’t really care about that now that this blog is private.

I made another shift in how I allowed the stress of this kind of parenting to affect my marriage. Instead of being frustrated in our parenting differences, I tried to notice the good things that StarBUCK was doing with the kids. I’m glad I started paying attention because it has made a difference in our relationship and in my own parenting. That’s the focus of today’s post.

The picture above is of two small canvases that Java painted yesterday afternoon at Latte’s house. They will be among the collection of artwork that hangs in the still under construction Barbie house. StarBUCK put several hidden magnets in the walls of the house so that artwork (with magnets on the back) can be added or moved from room to room. He made a small framed replica of our family Christmas picture to hang inside, too! (On a creepier note, he is also cutting the head off a plastic deer so Barbie can hang that on her wall. His decorating taste typically involves trophy antlers.)

Java has been rather awful toward StarBUCK these past few months. She screams at him and calls him names, most likely because of what has been going on with her birth dad and a personal struggle with allegiances. . . .  

When I’ve been the recipient of such venom in the past, I’ve responded with hurt and resentment. StarBUCK had a more admirable response. He started building this Barbie house with Java. These added little touches like the Barbie artwork collection tell me that it isn’t finishing this project that is the goal right now. The goal is the time they spend together in the process of making it.

I want to learn to focus more on the process than on achieving the end result. I want to respond to challenges with love. Thank you for all you’ve taught me, StarBUCK. ♥ 

Wow.  So much going on there that strikes a personal chord.  She opens with the very same piece of Scripture that God reminded me of at the end of my own last blog post.  She writes about making a conscious choice to focus on the positive in her blogging--even if her blog is now private and she can in theory say whatever she wants.  She writes about making a conscious choice to pay more attention to the positive in her marriage, esp, what her husband does that is honest, true, pure, noble.  And she writes about wanting to see her life and it's daily challenges from the view of valuing the process more than the end result.  Oh, so important for me to be reminded of these days, in parenting, in home-making (and home-improving!), in my marriage, in my spiritual journey. 

Thank you, Dear Lord, for your promises and provision.  Thank you ladies of my blog village--you may not have claimed me as such, but I claim you! ; )  And thank you, all of my friends and family who stop by and see what's going on with me.  You don't have to, and yet you do, and I admit it makes me feel a little loved. : )

So, happy Sunday to you all, and may this next week be one marked by many blessings, and our awareness of them all.

gripes and gratitude

A little update, again.

It is just so hard to get my brain going to write these days--mainly because I have been sleeping so poorly. I started this post yesterday, and here's hoping I can get it done in one sitting.*
 
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(Grousing to commence--you have been warned ; )

Allergies continue to rampage, and it is so weird how every day is different than the day before.  My nose's functionality comes and goes throughout the day.  But generally I have been blessed with one good nostril most of this week.  Except for the night before last, which was a complete nightmare.  It felt like my sinuses were packed with play-dough, and all night long I felt like I was smothering and could not breathe.  (I was sleeping flat on my back, since that has been the only position to help breathing since the allergies started, but I think something was occassionally clogging my throat--phlegm?  collapsing soft palate?  Satan?--and I would start choking and gasping, not able to breathe at all.  UGH.)  But I was so tired I was not awake enough to do anything about it, and would just have terrible dreams and kept waking up choking. . . finally in the wee hours of the morning I woke up--mouth so parched I could not close it until I drank some water--and at that point was lucid enough to stack some pillows behind me to elevate my  upper body and then put a damp handkerchief over my mouth so I could breathe moist air through that long enough to fall asleep.  It worked, but overall it was a horrible night's sleep.  So horrible that being awake almost seemed like a better option, but I did get to sleep a little more, and was thankful for those last few hours of sleep when a little boy slipped into bed with me and so the day began in earnest. (And what a sweet way to wake up too. : )

Last night I had one good nostril again, Praise the Good Lord Jesus, and would have slept well--except DH and I went to bed a little too late, and he got up at 5:30 to go to a men's breakfast.  Bless his heart, those of you who know him know what a crazy sacrifice that was.  But unfortunately, since it was pitch black outside, he was turning on lights in here while getting ready for work, and so I was awake until he left around 6:30.  Ugh.  And since it was a day of early classes, I did not get to sleep as long as usual anyway, and had to wake everyone up at 7:30.  So, I'm feeling pretty crappy today after two shortened nights of sleep--neckache from sleeping elevated, backache from I don't know what, heachachy. . . ok, I promise that is the last you will hear me gripe about allergies this season.

But, on the other hand, after that night of horror, all throughout the next day when I would feel the sweet, sweet sensation of air sweeping through one good nostril, I was so grateful, my every exhale was like a prayer of thanksgiving.  I know you all think how she does go on about one good nostril, but I am serious about what a huge blessing this is for me. I love being reminded of how such a little thing is really such a big thing, and being reminded of how much I am dependent upon it for a good life, and how thankful I am that I usually have it.

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And actually, this morning turned out pretty great!  Mainly because when the eldest two are away at class (the LitWits "bus"--aka my dear Becky--picked them up, another thing for which I am extremely grateful, esp. on a morning when I am so bone dead), Mommy takes the morning off from homeschool and gets a chance to blog while the younger two play nicely ; ).  And then as I was finishing my breakfast and tea at the computer, I had just been reading the latest blog post of my dear Susan, with whom I have not spoken in way too long, and got this overwhelming urge to call her.  I did, she was home, we had a great time catching up, and since she is one of my favorite people in the whole wide world, it did not matter what we talked about, just hearing her voice made me happy.  And then when we hung up, and I looked at the sun streaming into the living room windows, I got the urge to do some cleaning--mainly because I knew that's what Susan would be doing when she got off the phone, and it was really fun to dive into it thinking of her doing the same!  (Ok, and, I confess, because the sun was shining directly on the computer screen, rendering it unviewable.)  But still, great motivation, and a beautiful time to be motivated, since that is the perfect sunshine to see all my cobwebs. Ah, the blessings of girlfriends, near and far.

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And even though I was feeling pretty poorly most of today, I was really glad to have motivation to do anything, because on Monday I proclaimed to DH that this would be another "Anit-Procrastination Week," and so even though I feel like the week sideswept me and I'm not really as productive as I had hoped, it still feels great to tackle things I have been putting off.  So this week I have made important phone calls, found homes for Christmas gifts, washed bedding, done some deep cleaning, etc.  I guess it is not very impressive as the "A-P Week" I had two weeks ago, during which I did some mending and started mending some damaged books.  But since I feel like crap, and I'm still schooling and cooking and doing basic cleaning and laundry, I'll still count the week a success so far.

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Throughout the day I have made a point of being thankful--there are too many times I am quick to complain, esp. when tired and short tempered and sore.  So it has been a great opportunity to purposefully focus on what is Good and True and Beautiful:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. . . . And the God of peace will be with you.--Phillipians 4:8 and 9b.

So, this week I'll finish out with hopefully productivity and better sleep (please, dear Lord), but definitely with a lot more gratitude.  Any day is better when viewed through thankfulness.



*No, but I finished it in a few hours with breaks for making dinner, getting kids ready for bed, etc.  Good enough!

New blog on the sidebar--tiny houses!

While I was researching bedroom options for small rooms, I came upon this blog, and can't imagine why I never did before!  So much eye-candy, so many fun ideas, so much encouragement realizing how many people out there want to live in an itsy-bitsy house, and would even think ours is generously sized! (Well, not for a family of 6, but certainly a young couple with one baby and a few dogs.)

Today's post got me drooling:

Click on this link to see pics of the interior, and read the story.

Oh, how I wish I could park this in the front yard for a guest house!  And the gypsy interior could be SO GORGEOUS as a theme for a little bedroom remodel. . . ; )

A Little House Sneak Peak

For Jessica, and the rest of you who have been waiting patiently:

I know, it's not much.  A year ago I had the house all clean and neat and had the right lighting (so important--without the right natural lighting, interior photos just don't work), and walked around taking dozens of pictures, which I was intending to share with you here.  And then our computer crashed and we lost data, including all our pics for a several-month period, including all those great house photos.  Sigh.

Since then. . . well, it is actually harder than you think to have the house photo-ready AND the good light AND the opportunity to take advantage of both.  At the moment I still have Christmas gifts lying around without good homes, and stuff needing to be dealt with--in other words, small, dreaded piles everywhere.  So my new plan is to just clean and pretty one room at a time, and just share those.  It will help motivate me to finish the sorting and purging and cleaning too!  And then at some point the stars will align and I will have the entire house clean, the good light, and the time to get pics that give the whole concept of layout and how it all works together.

But, for now, here is a random house photo.  I was taking a pic of a Christmas wreath Happy made at church this holiday season, and decided to get a long shot.  So, the perspective here is if you were standing in the kitchen with your back up to the microwave cabinet I showed a few posts back, and the kitchen table on your immediate left.  The kitchen hutch is ahead there on the left (original to the house, as you can see, so from the 1920's), straight ahead is the doorway to the bedroom.  You can see the bedroom closet door at the far end.  Those are our bathrobes hanging on the right, as the doorway to the shower is immediately past them on the right.

If you walked forward a few steps from this vantage, you would have the kitchen sink on your left, and the broom cupboard and DH's and my clothes closet on the right.  (See this old post for some good sink perspectives).

You can see to your right in the foreground the edge of one of our bookshelves, which help make the divide/transition between kitchen and entry--so if you turned to the right and walked a few steps, you would have the front door on your right, and would be facing the living room.  (It should all make sense when I get to finish the photo project.)

I did not clear off the hutch counter all the way before this photo, so please excuse the mess.  Frankly, that's what it looks like most of the time--kitchen gargoyle included, which I'll explain later--so I guess this is a good slice of life shot. : )


So, there you go!  A little something to start the project, and to let you know I have not forgotten my promise to document our Little House living for you.



P.S.  Something weird is going on with blogger these days, and I have not been able to navigate my own site well at all.  The search box is not working, pages don't load, and I cannot leave comments to my own posts!  So thank you for whatever comments you do leave--I read them and appreciate them, but might not be able to respond in kind. : )

Although I do love me some Epic Asian Boy Band

(double-click on the video to watch in full-screen, if you are interested)

Somehow, I cannot look away.

I came upon this video a few months back when I was researching for our homeschool Japan Camp. It's a Korean boy band--young guys of all different trendy flavors who sing in their most adorably Dire manner while excellent lighting, camera movement, and editing make their meodicre movements and choreography look appropriately Significant.   And unlike the Epic songs I put on my playlist, this one has the benefit of unintelligibility (my Korean being limited to hello, thank-you, and goodbye), so I can enjoy all the fascinating self-Importance of the video without worrying about the likely un-Epic lyrics breaking the spell.   I say likely because the few lines of English in the song (inserted, it seems, because English is "cool") are pretty limp cliches.   Although I can agree with one of the song's claims--it is most definitely "An originar."

The boys have been chosen and arrayed in the most fascinating hodge-podge of styles and genres, all over the top in true Asian hip-hop flair--there's the vaguely Brokeback outlaw, the glam-Emo, the Bond-pimp, the metro-sexual rocker, the gangster cadet, the Chippendale posterboy, the preppy Sinatra, the hip hop fashionista, the punk lumberjack.  And a few that completely defy description:

Such stylistic cacophony aside, there's something in this boy-band for every fan's taste.  And the band's creators sing, Cha-ching! 

For my tastes, the hottie at 0:14 is the most American-style of good looking, but the dreamboat at 0:24 is clearly a sensitive soul, just the way I like 'em.*

I realize there are so many things I could be blogging about that are way more interesting and important.  I guess sometimes I'm just in the mood for a catchy tune and an Epic-licious video.





*tee hee if you looked! ; )

epic songs for a not-so-epic update

I have been trying to blog a little update for over a week.  Every time I sit down at the computer I either have work that I need to do on it, or I manage to completely fritter away my few uninterrupted minutes doing something completely inconsequential, like looking up long-forgotten songs on youtube. 

(And sharing them with my children.  Which is why, just now while my children are at the table finishing lunch, they burst out with, "Uh, uh, ah-uh-uh.  Uh, uh, ah-uh.  Uh, uh, ah-uh-uh, the right stuff."  What can I say--DH and I introduced them to the concept of boy bands the other day.  All in the name of education.) 

I'm not really a boy-band girl.  I'm way more swayed by big bands and big voices (sometimes with big hair) singing dire, colossal ballads.  Singers belting out their hearts with complete gravity, persuading us that their song is Important.  Pretty much any James Bond movie song falls into this category*--same with "Rocky" songs.  And pretty much all 80's glam-rock power ballads, although I'm not a fan of that genre.  Last weekend DH started pulling up songs on youtube to motivate me while doing dishes, and he found some great stuff--so I made a little playlist of some of my favorites. 

So, if you are in the mood for some Epic songs, or just want to see in my head a little more while you read about the nether and dither of my recent life, here you go.

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So, after the New Years' weekend with DH's parents, we had a quiet few days of starting school back up, and the girls jumped back in with remarkable vigor.  We are "behind" with Sunny's math, since the original goal was to finish her current grade's work by March, in time for the state testing.  Her current math program requires our computer (another reason I am not blogging as much--I have to share!), and we had spells this past holiday season when DH was upgrading our system and she could not do her work.  So I psyched her up about doing two math lessons a day, in order to get back on track--and she has been doing it, getting it done quickly, and all with a fantastic attitude!  YOU ROCK, eldest girl! 

Merry and Happy are ahead of schedule, almost done with their current grade math books.  Whew!  Merry is close, but got bogged down with long division. Happy in particular is only a few pages away from the end of her 1st grade math book, and will be rewarded with a green-themed math party sometime this month (green is the color of the math book cover).  When her sisters finish theirs, we are going to have a rainbow themed math party and invite all our homeschool friends, since we never celebrated the math books we finished last year. 

So, our school goals these past couple of weeks have been super simple, but focusing on the most important things to me right now: lots of math, reading in the "What Your ___ Grader Should Know" books, and finishing the fun chapter books the girls received as presents this holiday season (I hate to push them in their pleasure reading, but we will be neck-high in class reading starting next week, so want to have those books finished).

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Another thing that has been going on just the past week--blooming acacia trees.  At least, that's what my fellow allergy sufferers are telling me is responsible for my chronic tiredness, stuffiness, and headaches.  Seriously--allergy symptoms greeting me in the morning, headaches for most of the day, and sleeping very poorly at night (oh, for one good nostril!), are all really hindering me being my most effective around the house.  Another good reason for the streamlined schooling we have been doing these days.  I don't take allergy medicine, because what I have tried in the past just makes me feel worse (and one brand I am sure caused my allergies to turn into a full-fledged sinus infection one year), but I am thinking of trying a neti pot to see if it helps.  But in the meantime, I am just not being as productive as I was even at the very start of the year, and the wear of allergies also explains why often when I find myself with free time at the computer I can only muster enough brain power for youtube. 

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Oh, and while DH's parents left the 2nd of Jan, FIL was back just a few days later to work on our mini-van, which we noticed was leaking coolant on New Year's Day.  FIL is a retired electrical engineer and is very handy with all things mechanical, and so he spent a good 5 days here working in the driveway, replacing the water pump and the timing belt and doing all manner of important and necessary things.  MIL did not come back this time, since she was needed to help care for her mother, but it was still a sacrifice for her to give up her husband for those days, since he only had a few days with her afterwards before flying out to Colorado, where he will be for the next 3 weeks.  DH's sister, Auntie N, needs helps caring for our preemie niece Sweetness while her husband Uncle S is away on business in India for a couple of months.  Sweetness is doing great overall, but is so vulnerable to germs that the drs won't let her go to any public places, like groccery stores or church, so you can imagine it would be really hard for Auntie N be a single mom for that long, and FIL is going to work on Auntie N's car while he is out there.  Then MIL will go out and swap with him for a few weeks, with only a few days overlap.  So, seeing as how she is going to be parted from her husband for the good part of two months, those 5 days MIL sent him down to help us out are even more meaningful.  The whole thing is another great example of What Love Looks Like.

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You can imagine how having FIL here also made me less productive around here.  (I'm coming up with lots of good excuses for my blogging absence, aren't I?  Do these excuses cover the state of dust everywhere too?)   But the last big thing taking up my time and mental energy these last two weeks: everything falling apart around our ears home improvements.  For example, I finally made the calls to get someone to come make a routine maintenance call for our water softener system, so we have soft water again and I can finally have hair that actually feels clean.  We had the system put in when we bought the house about 7 years ago, and, um, have never in those years replaced any filters or had any maintenance to either the whole-house softening system or the reverse-osmosis tank under the sink.  Hey, it all seemed to be working fine, and we didn't want to pay for unnecessary service calls, figuring we could replace those filters ourselves.  Except we never did, and oy vey! the incredulous looks and scornful words we got from the technician who came out last Thursday.  He kept trying to make sure we understood what complete idiots we are for not having these things properly cared for.  Although he tested the water from the RO tank, and was amazed that it was still filtering quite well--to which I could not help but point out, with a wink, that it looked like our plan of non-maintenance had been working out just fine for us.  Same when he checked out the whole-house system, and found that other than the cycles being timed bizarrely (from when the system would start beeping at me every now and then, and I would randomly push buttons until the beeping stopped, and then congratulate myself for having so effectively negated that problem) it was all working fine--I could not help but suggest to him that this also proved that mainenance housecalls every three years is a bit excessive.  ; )

Then this past Friday through Monday has been a whole drama of getting the septic "system"  (i.e. ancient hole in the ground covered with a few boards and a bunch of dirt) emptied, because we started getting signs (i.e. whiffs) this past fall that it needed attention.  And after several afternoons of poor DH muckety-mucking around back there, digging to uncover it and then helping the also incredulous septic-drain guy drain it (what is it with technicians these days?  Sure most people empty their septics out on some regular schedule, and have actual tanks to hold the poo, and leach fields created after 1928 and enviromental codes--but what's with all the judgement? It was like this when we bought it.), we get the report that the septic "system" and leach field have officially failed.  Which we had guessed, from the little gush of water that last week started pouring out onto my calla lillies in the backyard everytime we flushed.  (And which, now that I think about it, helps explain their untimely burst of beautiful bloom this past fall.  Mmmmmmmmm. poo.)  

Just so you know, we knew when we bought the house that we would have to replace the septic.  We had it drained and inspected while we were in escrow, and I'll never forget the two guys in their early-twenties standing over the uncovered hole full of muck and the most gorgeous earthworms, casually stirring the swill with shovels and musing about how there should be three more walls over here. . . .  They never did find the leach field--which is why I never allow the kids to play in the creek below our house. (shudder.)  Anyhoo, we were buying the house "as is" and knew it was only a matter of time before the s--- would hit the, um, wallet.  It is amazing we made it this long--but now are looking at likely $15 thousand for a new system.  Yikes!  We are now officially "in the hole."  

So, now to research the septic options. . . .
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And too bad, too, because we had just started fanticizing about building on to our little house and increasing it by about 480 square feet--enough for a bedroom and bath for me and DH!  Those plans will have to wait, but they won't be able to wait for too long.  The current sleeping arrangement of the kids is quickly becoming less and less workable, as Sunny's legs have grown several inches this winter and she has just started sleeping poorly and thrashing in her sleep (ah, puberty).  I'm afraid she's going to give one of her sisters a black eye or something--so while the girls have not complained and remain content with their shared bed, it is time to work out a solution, and quickly.  I'm researching options for that too--such a tiny bedroom does not leave much wiggle room at all for beds and clothes and storage, so I'm doing my best to figure out how to make every inch count while not making the room jammed full of furniture. Built-ins will be the way to go, but so many things to consider. . . the design is taking time.

Another reason why it's a bummer we can't add on to the house any time soon: the other night DH and I were finally a little too noisy in our, ahem, midnight quality time and heard the quick clamorings of children climbing out of bed and running into the kitchen to investigate.  Add this one to the above list of things we are lucky to have gone this long without, without a bedroom to ourselves or any internal doors and all that.  So, it is now the end of a relatively carefree era in our marriage, and I guess the bright side is that quiet quickies under the covers might inspire DH to build us a real bedroom addition faster than any other form of persuasion I could employ.

Oh, and the kids are untramatized.  Two key points, if you ever find yourself in such a situation: 1) have thick covers handy.  2) don't show any embarassment.  In our case, the kids ran back to bed, and after I was done laughing and laughing, I went and assured them that all was well and sternly reminded them of the rules of bedtime (keep laying down, be quiet, and stay in bed).  And then DH and I quietly finished our business, because after this many years with this many kids in this small of a house, we are practical like that. 

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Ok, so maybe that last tidbit was a little Epic. 

Anyway, overall things are good here in the Little House in the Woods, and even the hard or negative stuff does not faze us.  Life is good overall, and I hope to blog a little more the rest of this week.  With pics!

Oh, and if any of you have songs to recommend for my Epic Ballads playlist, please feel free to recommend them!

Hope all of you have having a good week so far. : )



*Nobody in the whole world can make any song sound Consequential like Dame Shirley Bassett.  Perfect example--she took a catchy song by Pink and remade it in full post-Bond glory into something Big.  Just the first 30 seconds of each will prove my point.  (If you do listen to either video in its entirety, be warned of brief coarse language half-way through.)

stuff that makes me smile

I forgot to mention back in November that I had a birthday.  And that my Mother had sent me a birthday present which is now one of my all-time favorite gifts, and makes me smile on a daily basis:

Custom cloth napkins!  I had been wanting new cloth napkins for some time, since my old ones are so old and stained (we use cloth for most meals here at home).  I had even been looking on etsy to see if I could buy some new ones*, but never saw any I liked enough to spend money on.  

So when my parents were visiting this past summer, Mom and I went to a favorite local fabric store, and while we were poking around, I caught sight of the bins of "fat quarters."  And I started pulling some out, fanticizing about mismatched but yet coordinating napkin fabrics, playing with colors and pattern, esp. those colors that don't really match me or my house so I rarely get to use (like orange and bright green).  Mom asked me what I was doing, and when I told her, she offered to make me the napkins for my birthday.  Hooray!!!!  So then I started hunting out fabrics in earnest, laying possibilities out on the floor of the store.  (There were walls of excellent fabrics along the walls of the store, but I purposefully limited myself to the display of fat quarters, just to make it so much less daunting of a project.)

And I LOVE the results!

While I was laying out my final choices, I had two separate ladies stop and ask what project I was planning (I am sure they were crafty women and were curious how I planned on using all these odd fabrics together), and when they heard it was a set of napkins, they were surprised, and each said how much they loved the idea.  One woman even said she needed a gift for a niece and thought that might be a great idea.  (So, if any of you local friends who sew want to go into business with me. . . I have the Etsy shop already--I'll pick the fabrics, you do the sewing, I'll manage the online store, and I'll give you a very fair share in the profits! ; ) 

I already had the perfect basket to store them in when they are not in use!

And while this is not at all a very good photo, here is a glimpse of what the table looks like when set with them:

It was hard to wait until my birthday in November.  But now they are used and loved every day--and the girls LOVE to pick out their "new" napkin every time they need one. (Smiley always chooses the orange ones. ; ) 

And you see, it gets better. Because not only did I need new napkins, but I needed a new system for keeping them neat between uses, since often when you use one it does not really get dirty, so you hate to throw it in the wash but then you also can't put it back in the drawer with the truly clean ones. . .  So, I found a beautiful solution to the problem:

Napkin rings made from old silverware!  Each one is different, so each family member can tell whose is whose.  (I had wanted to find napkin rings that were from old utensils with initials on them--wouldn't that have been perfect?!  But I couldn't find any, and liked the workmanship of this seller**, so these are what everyone got in their Christmas stockings this year!) 

So now, after the meal is over, each child decides if his or her napkin can be used again or if it needs to go in the wash.  If it is clean enough, it is rolled up and put in the person's napkin ring until the next meal.  And then it goes in this pretty green bowl my dear Becky gave me for a present a few years ago, which lives on the microwave stand by the kitchen table:

I am very glad to have this microwave stand on loan from DH's parents (since my counter space is so limited!) but it is decidedly more utilitarian than attractive.  And the cupboards above are pretty high on my "can't wait to do something about that" list, but are also doing their job.  BUT how happy it makes me to have those two new bits of prettiness brightening up my kitchen!  Both the basket of folded napkins and the bowl of napkins in rings (nestled inside a burlwood bowl) are practical but also add beauty to my kitchen and my day. 

Even when I launder them, I get a smile.  Because I want to keep them beautiful as long as possible, I confess I am line drying them, so I won't accidentally set any stains and I can pull the seams smooth--but it makes me happy to do that too, and I enjoy seeing them strung on the clothesline over the fireplace. : )  

Mother, thank you so much!


*Yes, I understand that they can be really easy to make. For those of you crafty people who sew and who have a sewing machine conviently located in your house. I do have a sewing machine, thanks to my Mother, but no place to keep in in the house, and actually no idea how to use it, despite said Mother's patient instruction several years ago. This is truly one of those times when my itsy-bitsy house logistics create a Catch 22, because while I would eventually learn to use it and enjoy it if it were set up in the house and always ready to go, it is so hard to justify the precious real-estate for something that I likely won't learn to use for some time, and even then would not use very often. Oh, these are times when I start coveting other houses--even one more small closet would be lovely! But in the meantime, I am so thankful for a talented and thoughtful Mother. : )

**And check out the absolutely stunning bracelets made of reclaimed silver utensils by the same artisans!

New Year's Day does not define the year

I started this post yesterday, but decided I needed to post something much more cheerful for my first post of the new year. : )

Someone just told me (or I read on someone's blog--don't remember which) that how you spend the first day of the New Year sets the tone for the whole rest of the year.  Now, I don't know about you, but for me that is just self-defeating bunk.  At least for me this year, since DH's parents were here and so we did not do any of the things we normally would have done to celebrate.  And because on New Year's Day MIL finally let go of the Christmas spirit and started a big ol' fight with me. 

And that's ok--I mean, honestly, we knew the peace would not last forever, and am just so thankful it was present throughout Christmas.  And even this past weekend started out so great and fun.  The first night they came we all played Uno as a family and laughed and joked, and then after the kids were in bed the grown-ups played Hand and Foot (Chico style) and MIL and I were partners against the guys, and had a relaxed, fun game, and at one point when we were both teasing the guys about their playing strategy (for those who know the game, we were trying to bait them to pick up the discard pile and end up with a whole lot of red 3's when it would clearly not be in their interest to do so), MIL made the funniest comment and we both laughed so hard, and then could not even look at each other in the effort to control our late-night giggling.  That is now one of my favorite memories with her--next to sitting on the bed at her mom's house last year and sharing tears while she told me all about the tragic birth of my niece preemie Sweetness and the loss of her twin sister.  Such moments are very rare between me and MIL, and I treasure them. 

And there was positive even in the negative of the fighting.  (I always tell my kids it takes two to fight, so this is really not the right word to use, since I was not fighting back, but I just don't know what else to call such an intensely negative and passionate discussion.)  DH and I could feel the negative starting to build Sunday morning, so when it blew after church while MIL and I were making lunch, I was a little bit relieved to have it over with.  Also, I admit I was a little bit excited!  Because while I was standing there making food and getting an earful, and my heart was racing and my hands were shaking, I felt ready for the challenge, and could pray right then, "Ok, Lord, I knew this would come sometime, so how do you want me to put into practice the loving you have been teaching me about right now, at this moment?"  And so throughout the conversation I noticed positive changes in my own response, like:

--purposefully engaging (stopping my activities for moments at a time so I could use body language and good eye-contact to show sincere listening and care, when in the past I would have been acting really busy and avoiding eye-contact).

--not being overcome with dread or fear (besides the understandable "flight or fight" response).

--being firm in my stances when I should be, yet looking for ways to acknowledge her feelings and reassure her, but not just trying to placate at any (interpersonal) cost.

--not being shaken by anything dealt out (i.e. staying visibly calm and unruffled, but still warm and caring--bring it on, woman, because I am rooted in Truth in this moment, and there is nothing you can say that will scare me away, or appall me, or make me yell back at you. 

--and that was because I was feeling totally confident in God's presence and guidance in that moment of stress, and was truly unable to be harmed--so I wasn't avoiding the hurt, or pretending the words didn't hurt, but was not being hurt by them.

--feeling truly myself throughout the engagement--not giving in to the urge to dissemble, not faking anything to try to get the conflict smoothed over as quickly as possible, not saying what I thought MIL wanted to hear (things which I have always done in the past, and which I think have not helped MIL trust in my character).  This is me, and my committment to this family and to you isn't wavering. I ain't goin' nowhere, so we've got a lifetime to work this through.

I don't think I can convey what a big blessed deal these things are.  From the beginnings of my marriage, I have tried to avoid conflict whenever possible, and finally learned after YEARS of struggle that in our efforts to be peaceful and loving, DH and I were just enabling sin.  So, it has been a long and painful journey for everyone involved, and even as I have grown and learned, it has been really hard to break out of negative patterns of relating.  I am at heart a people pleaser (oh, the irony!) and so have continually chosen to try to please and placate my MIL in the short-term at the expense of long-term healing.  This is possibly the first time I felt like I did not do any of those previous coping mechanisms in a "fight," where I was steady and bold in engagement, like God calls His believers to be.

So, kinda exciting!  And, now that I think about it, that's not such a bad way to start off the New Year.

I might write about this more, but that's it for now.  (And I think we need more "Love Looks Like" and photos to balance out the whole interpersonal saga, so you can look forward to those!)

What Love Looks Like (Exhibit A)

Before:

After:

Can you see the difference?  (Click on the images to see them larger)

Just in case you need a closer view to be sure:

Before:

After:

You see, at Thanksgiving we took some photos out in the front of DH's parent's yard after church, while MIL was in the house getting lunch on the table.  MIL knew we were taking some, and had FIL take some with their camera.  When we were done and went into the house, MIL immediately downloaded the photos so she could see them.  And then she lamented the sad state of the fence behind us, and I think was a little bummed that the paint-worn and peeling fence would be so prominent in the photos.  (They have a large property to care for, but take excellent care of it--this part of the yard is not used as much, so the fence had thus far escaped their attention, to MIL's chagrin.)

This photo pose of "Opa" and the kids I had set up as a surprise, and so MIL had not seen it.  I had planned on enlarging it and framing it for a Christmas gift, but knew--after hearing her comments about the fence--that I would have to get creative with the image to make it gift-worthy.

It took me a week of sitting in front of the computer whenever I had a chance, trying out two different "photoshop" programs, trying different methods of "painting," and finally just re-coloring pixel by pixel at 800% resolution in small patches at a time.  As you can imagine, my mouse arm got really tired--but my Obsessive Compulsive urges were well gratified, and overall it was fun! Best of all, I was really pleased with the results, so it was all worth it!

I framed one of DH's sister and her family too, in a matching frame, and I think MIL liked them:

(Remember these frames?  If you like them, they are still available, still at a great price!  If you sign up for the company emails, you can wait to order when there are free shipping deals, like I did.)

The results were so good that MIL did not notice anything about the fence when she opened it, even if I asked her if anything looked different.  So, yes, I did tell her I had "painted" the fence.  I wanted her to realize that I had known she cared, and had gone to the effort to make it more what would make her happy.  I wanted her to feel my thought and love, esp. since she keeps saying love is "doing."  I hope she felt it!

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My dear Readers!  I thought it might be really fun to share stories of What Love Looks Like with one another.  So, if you have a Christmas WLLL story to share, please feel free to blog about it and then leave the link here in the comments, or just leave your story here in the comments.  : )

P.S.  If you had any trouble loading these pics, please let me know--new program, larger files, want to make sure no one has trouble with them!