On the 7th Day of (Blogging About) Christmas, my MIL gave to me. . .

I already showed you some of the thoughtful gifts my MIL gave me for Christmas this year--but I thought I would include the short story of one of my favorite gifts from her this year:

MIL hosted the big family dinner on Christmas eve for the extended family who were there--18 people in all. She and I worked in the kitchen together for many hours preparing the food, and not only did it all turn out well, but she even made a distinct point of thanking me to my face for all my help, and even saying more than once that it was a success "thanks to me." Later she even said it on facebook too! This was really huge, because she does not compliment people lightly, and she was really affirming our relationship as MIL and DIL in that holiday. : )

Also, there was one really uncomfortable moment in the dinner preparations when she realized I had cut the broccoli side dish the wrong size (fork-sized florets instead of large, fancy clumps) and was really upset--and she started haranguing and not letting it go, and I felt the old rush of cold prickly adrenaline wash over me and the old urge to cower and deflect, but through the power of the Holy Spirit and the culmination of hard earned wisdom, I just stood and looked her in the face and said, as many times as was necessary, "I'm sorry," with my face and tone conveying my sincere apology, but also conveying confidence in her ability to forgive me. And it was momentarily really uncomfortable, but also really powerful--because she responded to my cues that implied Yes, I wronged you, but please believe that it was slight and unintentional, and Grace is here in abundance, so please accept my apology and let's forgive and forget, and all will be well and after a minute or two she self-regulated and then we went on together again peaceably finishing preparing the meal and getting it on the table. This likely sounds like such a little thing to the rest of you--BUT this is the kind of thing that for years and years used to happen every few minutes, every day, all holiday long and would lead to HUGE gulfs of perceived negative intent and feelings of being wronged, and hours of tongue-lashing. So for it to happen just once in a whole visit, and then be handled so maturely and Gracefully by both of us--GINORMOUS meaning for me. The embodiment of all the Good work the Holy Spirit has been doing in both of us.

And that is why her pointed words of praise later that day and affirming our partnership in the kitchen were also so meaningful--because the preparations had not been without "incident" and I had majorly "messed up" at least that once (who knows how many times she held her tongue and I never knew I was doing something annoying or wrong), but with her words she was making sure I knew I was forgiven and it truly was not something that would be allowed to hinder our relationship. So I treasure that moment, and those words. My Mother-In-Law was purposefully speaking to one of my Love Languages--Words of Affirmation--and I received it! 

Praise the Good Lord above for this Christmas miracle! ; )