blessed by facebook

This is going to be a very quick post, as it is late and my in-laws are here, and it will be an early morning.

But something just happened that made me so surprised and so grateful.  I had to quickly share, because my heart was swelling with love.

But first, some background:

One of the reasons I have not been blogging as much recently is because I have a new project I'm working on.  I have mentioned LitWits before--the local workshops and online literature guides developed and taught by my dear Becky and her sister Jenny, that help kids explore great books with sensory immersion.  My girls have been fortunate enough to have been with LitWits since the beginning (as soon as they were old enough), and I know those workshop experiences will be a part of their lives that they will look back on with great affection when they are older.

Well, now my own Sunny is about to start her first year of high school, and it is time for her to transition out of LitWits (which is geared for kids roughly ages 9-12).  Apparently a lot of other parents who love the LitWits workshops found their children facing the same dilemma--and so a few months back Becky and Jenny approached me to see if I would be interested in co-leading LitWits "Master Classes" workshops for high schoolers!

YES!  Immediately I knew it was the right time to jump into teaching classes, something I have thought I would do "someday."  The timing feels right, and I'm very excited to be co-leading these classes, and getting paid to do something I love.  If you want to see the official flier, here you go! (I still need to quickly finish the write-up for each novel, so parents know why these are fabulous books and worth reading and studying. But you get the gist!)

I have had so much fun planning so far.  It has been a lot of work, because I want to make the workshops really meet the needs of the local homeschool families, so I had to research CA state requirements for each grade level in history and English and essentially plan out all the texts I would teach over the course of the next four years!  I just needed to make sure we covered all the books I really want my own daughter to be studying, as well as fitting the books into where they made the most sense for what other things the kids will need to be learning (for example, here in CA high school Juniors study US History--so I purposefully arranged the text selection to suit that).  After I went through the process of getting the chosen books approved by our local homeschool charter school (so the kids will receive the highest level of credit for the work), then I could start actually planning for the specific books I'll be teaching this fall.  As you can imagine, I've been doing a LOT of reading (ahhhhhhhhh!) and have spent many an hour pouring over lists of books and scritching and scratching away with pencil and paper, trying to fit everything in the best place.

Seeing the flier now makes it real--it's happening!  And today apparently either Becky or Jenny posted the flier on facebook.  And a lovely woman--who I know well enough to care about, but don't actually know all that well--posted this comment in response:

This looks amazing. I'm a huge Lisa Craddock fan. Not sure how her huge heart fits in her tiny body.

Actually, at this moment my heart is melted all over the floor.  Re-reading that while writing this, I'm once again completely floored at those words. I know enough about her to know she is a generous and kind woman, a fellow homeschooling mom and Christian. In fact, I know her mainly because one time she was clearing our her massive homeschool book and supplies collection, and invited Becky and me to come take what we wanted. (How awesome is that! From her generosity we are starting a little Vintage Homeschool Library!) But I didn't know she knew anything about me at all.  

So there's the first surprise.

Here's the second surprise: I have been on a facebook fast since the beginning of summer. (More about that another time.) So I have not been getting on facebook to read the feed, but just hopping on occasionally to check up on someone or look into information posted on our local  homeschool group.  I think I have glanced at the feed twice since I started the fast, tonight being the third time.  There's no reason why I should have seen that comment.  I was not tagged in it, so would not have been alerted in any manner.  If I had not broken the facebook fast for a few minutes while winding down here tonight, all that love would have completely slipped under my radar. 

All that surprise leads me to think I shouldn't really be surprised--that Someone led me there tonight, to see those words on a night when I could really use some kindness. Some loving words.  Things have been going pretty well with my MIL this visit (MUCH better than the last two times), at least so far this one afternoon and evening. But still, a good visit is a slightly uncomfortable & stressful one, and I've been very focused on keeping calm and patient and non-reactive, keeping my eyes warm and my smile ready, no matter what comes at me. : )

There's so much love in that woman's comment.  I don't think her words say nearly as much about me as they do about herself.  But still, it means she has seen something in me that spoke to her own heart.  I'd love to think it is Jesus.  Because if someone whom I have only met three times in my life has seen a glimmer of something so Good in me, then it takes a little pressure off of what I'm feeling tonight.  It's ok.  He is with me. He will work through me, even when I'm completely oblivious to it.  I can show people His love just by being myself.  

If I remember to get myself out of His way! ; )

Ok, now it's late and morning will come quickly.  I hope all of you have a wonderful start to your week. And I hope you all get some Divine encouragement!  Please let me know if you do!

vintage afghans

Quilts are not the only thing I have been sighing and mooning over this past week. I also started looking at afghans, which run a close second in my heart to quilts.  The only problem is, most afghans are, let's face it, very cozy looking but very ugly.

Some of them are truly beautiful, though. Especially black bordered and colorful granny squares. The smaller the better. I can't get enough of them.

found here

found here

Of all of the granny square afghans I saw on eBay, this third one is my favorite--the slightly more pastel colors against the black is just gorgeous:

found here

Ugh, I find myself starting to covet.  Which is actually why I am sharing these things with you!  Partly for the fun of it, and partly because when there is something I really, really like but can't justify owning, putting it here on my blog is almost as good as actually owning it. Maybe better, because now I can appreciate it while not actually having it in my house.

(I just caught myself gazing at the above image and sighing wistfully. No joke--beautiful, hand-crafted, nostalgic things tug at my very soul. : )

But just like the quilts, there are as many variations on pattern and color and style as there are women with crochet hooks.  Even if I would not choose it for my house, I can admire the artistry.

found here

found here

snatched up by someone else as I was writing this, so no link

Although maybe I would like to own that last one. So deliciously retro, and I'm seriously a sucker for itty-bitty squares.

The next two are listed as being made by an elderly serviceperson.  I imagine this person is allowing some of his/her creations to be sold by a family member for a little side income.  Maybe from a nursing home. I've never seen this pattern before, and in this first color combination it really works:

found here

And this next color combination is just so grandma it makes me smile and wish I could give my own grandmas a hug (don't you think Grandma Betha would have like it, Mom?):

 

 

And speaking of making me smile:

 

I'm not linking it, because none of you would possibly buy an afghan this ugly. Right?

 

Mom, if it were not missing the red chevron stripe I would think this is the old afghan from the basement!  No offense, Mom, if you were the one who made it. Clearly it was a very popular color combination in the day.  And whatever critique I might be casting upon it for its color scheme is completely overshadowed by the fact that it was a perpetual favorite of all us kids in our childhood. It was well loved, for a long time--and that's the whole point of a good afghan.

 

This next afghan does not look all that old, and I would guess was made within the last 10 years or so, when blue and brown were so popular together. But the effect is very pretty, very appealing:

 



 

 

 

 

found here

 

Oh, how pretty that one is!  Like a flower garden.  What a sweet vision the maker of that afghan had.

 

The final one I want to share just about breaks my heart it is so pretty:

 

found here

 

I know: you're thinking, well, it's pretty, but no prettier than any of the others. . . ? 

 

First of all, if you had seen several thousand afghans on eBay in the past two days, you would be thrilled at its beauty. ; )

 

 

Then look at those gorgeously made roses, which add dimension and depth and texture to the afghan surface.

 

Then notice the careful use of color: most afghans of this style repeat the exact same color in every square, which ends up being dull and monotonous.  This crafter alternated two different shades of rose, which also adds depth and beauty to the overall piece.  The eye does not get tired looking at it.

 

 

Not only did the crafter use more than one color of pink, but she arranged the roses in patterns of 4. This creates a sense of balance and order, and even hints at a quilt-like design.

Then even the edge is finished in a pretty little border--also reminiscent of a quilt binding.  And look at the careful crochet-work apparent in this photo's lighting.  So well done. So beautiful.

Ugh, it is so pretty and perfect is almost gives me a stomach ache. 

And it's $45, plus a hefty shipping cost, all the way from Massachusetts.

Which is kinda a lot for an old blanket.  But on the other hand, isn't.

I could buy this. Right now.

But I'm not sure I should. . . I was looking for some "new" bedding for the kids, but not sure this exactly fits the bill, being larger than I need for one girl.  And I don't need it on my bed. In fact, it would not match our bedding. (Which you realize is important to me, since our bed is also our "sofa.")  I also don't need it immediately, just when we get the bed project done and the kids are not sharing blankets anymore. If I did buy it, it would definitely be loved and used. But I'm not sure it's the best practical choice. That and whatever girl--probably either Sunny or Happy--received it would be the envy of her sisters.  Maybe even her brother. ; ) Which might compel me to look for more gorgeous afghans on eBay for the others. . .

So that's why I stole all the photos from the person's listing. So I could have a way of holding onto it even if it's not meant to be mine. : )  Another person could snatch it up. Or I might be tempted for a while and ultimately choose not to give in.  But in the meantime, sharing its beauty with you all makes me happy, and lessens the temptation to buy it rashly.

Now that I've been going on about things that make me happy inside, please tell me something that makes you happy!  I would love to share your little bits of happiness.

 

 

vintage quilts on eBay

I've found a happy space this week: on eBay, looking at vintage quilts and afghans!

I'm thinking of buying a couple of bedding pieces for the kids, if I find just the right things (at the right prices). But in the meantime, I'm seeing so much old handmade beauty, such love and care and pride and skill--it all makes me just so happy.

Some of the quilts are old and worn, and some are on the primitive side. But they all have something about them that caught my eye and made me smile:

found here

found here

found here

found here

found here.  I just love all the pretty stitching on an otherwise basic crazy quilt. Follow the link to see more pictures of the loveliness!

When something shows so much attention to detail, and pleasure in the careful stitching, it lifts my spirits.  It makes me wonder about the woman who spent so many hours thusly.  I imagine maybe working on this quilt was her happy place.

found here.  Click on the photo to enlarge and see the beautiful stitches.

I mean, how could a woman be grumpy when she was working on a quilt like this?  It seems the very embodiment of good nature and positive thinking:

found here

And some of the quilts I love because they remind me of the quilts that were around my parents' house growing up.  I can still call to mind the softly rumpled cotton fronts, and their smell--not old and musty, but not freshly laundered. Just somehow the comforting smell of things that seem to have always been, and which we imagine always will be.  The kind of smells and thoughts that a child can wrap around herself as much as the quilt itself.

found here

Some of the quilts I would never want to own, but I marvel at the maker's vision, and the many, many hours she must have spent laboring over this creation: 

found here

And some I would own in a heartbeat!

found here

found here

Some of them are only quilt tops, waiting for someone crafty to appreciate and finish the original maker's vision:

found here

found here

found here

found here

found here

found here

found here

found here

This next quilt's maker had a very clear vision indeed. And while I never would have thought to make a cotton boll themed quilt, and certainly not in those colors, I absolutely love the fact that this woman did.  And admit it--once you realize that every boll is unique, it ends up being a little mesmerizing:

found here

I also admit that it can be a little melancholy seeing these women's special creations up for auction.  These are all vintage quilts, so not made specifically for sale on eBay.  They were made for a specific room, for a specific bed, for a specific loved one. Where is that loved one now?  How has the quilt fallen into such disfavor, or drifted so far from those who it was made for, that the current owners have no attachment to it? 

Some quilts tell such powerful stories--we can almost imagine who might have made them for what loved one. . .

found here. If you follow the link you can see close-ups of the woman's stitching

And some quilts don't keep us guessing--the maker's purpose and provenance are right there--but capture my imagination no less for it:

found here. I recommend going to the link to see more photos.

found here

Who was the woman who made this quilt?  Sized for a child, but seemingly barely used.  I can only guess at the story behind this labor of love:

found here

But I'm just so glad her work is living on. That others besides me are appreciating them, searching for them, buying them, using them or reusing them.  Giving old, unloved things new life.

If she knew, I think she would be pleased.

 

 

Monday morning

10:45 a.m.

Quiet house again--but this time, with three children in it. It's a foggy morning, so the outside is cool gray and green.  I made a fire earlier, and those of us here are perfectly content to be quietly engaged with our various activities.

It's a "fun school" week for us.  I've made a list for the younger three with some vaguely educational activities: things like reading aloud to youngers, working on craft projects, playing their online typing game, practicing instruments, playing with wooden math manipulatives.  So Merry is writing a letter to a friend who has recently moved away. Happy is finishing her morning routine in the bedroom, and is singing to herself quietly.  Smiley is engrossed in a little craft I just picked up this morning from Terry, our wonderful school liaison. It's a Christmas craft--and I so don't care about seasonal appropriateness at this moment.

Sunny has not been a presence here for weeks now.  At the very beginning of this month she went along with her "special same age friend" Tegan and her parents on a roadtrip--Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming. The Tetons, Yellowstone Park.  It was an incredible opportunity for adventure, and I can't wait to hear all about it. She got home yesterday afternoon around 4--just in time for her to shower and us all to get to the 5pm service at church. Then we stayed for the church dinner after, and chatted with people we had just met and helped put away tables and chairs, and by the time we got home it was time for her to shower and get ready for bed (and for her sisters to shower her with presents they had made her), and we only heard snatches of her trip before ten o'clock was upon us and Mommy was demanding lights out and quiet.

Now this morning she's starting her first day of Girls In Engineering camp!  I don't remember how we heard about this, but she applied and was accepted to a FREE week-long day camp  held at UC Santa Cruz.  It appears to be geared for girls from the local Spanish-speaking communities, to get them interested in careers in the sciences.  UCSC is sending a bus all the way down to Salinas to pick up girls (about an hour away) and is stopping at several other predominantly Spanish-speaking communities on the way.  So the girls who attend the camp get free transportation, free snacks, free lunch--so cool!  I'm very glad such opportunities exist for disadvantaged girls--and that we are getting to join in too.  So this morning I got her up and ready and off to the pick up location, and we won't see her again until pick up at 3:30.  Then I imagine she will need a quiet time, and then I have a feeling there will be talking and listening galore until bedtime.

I have a list for me today: some computer research, book reading, cooking. Not actually all that much--I'm super tired today for some reason, and just want to be quietly productive.  But as I sat down with my tea and blogs this morning, I came across a couple of really interesting articles, which perfectly correlate with some of the things which have been in my mind recently.  So I'm taking some time this morning to write.  I'm a little gloomy in spirit today--I think my cell phone might have been stolen on Saturday while I was at the Laundromat, and I feel frustrated and isolated and a little violated.  (So, don't try to call me--email is my only link to the outside world at the moment.) 

My gloom inside is being matched outside--during the time I've been sitting here writing, the light outside has darkened, and the house inside is almost dim enough to need lights turned on.  But I'm not going to do that--artificial lights turned on when it should be daylight is one of the most depressing things ever.  I've felt that way ever since I was a child.  I remember days at Dr. Howard Elementary School that were so stormy and dark outside that the teacher turned on the bright overhead lights and pulled down the shades--perhaps the storm was drawing our attention away from the classroom activities, or perhaps he thought it was safer.  But the effect--of harsh, unnatural light against those long, yellowed roller blinds, with the blackness still seeping in on the edges--I've never forgotten.  Similarly, I remember those winter nights in my parent's home when the blinds in the breakfast nook were pulled down when we had dinner at 5 pm, and that feeling I would get of it being wrong somehow, and of feeling trapped.

Whoo!  Time to get up and move and listen to some good music. I'm not really this dark inside--no worries. But it's probably no coincidence that the mental images coming to me now are of the efforts we humans sometimes make to hunker down and be safe and cozy, in a way that seems an unconscious (and ineffective) denial of the darkness outside.  The inside--bright and secure--seems unreal, or perhaps surreal, while the outside is darkness--cold and growing, and feeling very real.

My world feels a little like that at the moment, even on the sunny days.  It's unsafe out there. Heck, it's sometimes unsafe in here.  But I'm not called to safety, or to sunshine.

I'm called to be transformed.

On a MUCH lighter and totally related note:  listen to the first 30 seconds of this for a good laugh.

And have a Good day, however you spend it.

Saturday morning

I'm sitting here in a quiet house--a rarity these days. I think this might be the first time I have been alone in this house for weeks if not months. It won't last long--my Dear Husband took the kids to their martial arts class, which was over half an hour ago, so they're due back any minute.  I should be doing laundry or dishes or something, but I sat down instead with toast and tea and caught up on blogs and then watched/listened to old Voice performances on youtube while dressing and sweeping.

I chose someone's "Best 15 blind auditions" compilation, and it was full of excellent music and performances from the US, UK, Holland, Poland, Australia.  A couple of the songs at the end got me tearing up--the emotion the singers were putting into their songs, and the beauty in their God-given vocal gifts. The youtube sidebar then led me to some America's Got Talent episodes--a show I don't watch, but occasionally see a video clip of. But this morning somehow the 4 clips I watched all made me cry.  The family group of 12 kids performing a variant of "Favorite Things"--seriously, to see a whole auditorium of people charmed and delighted by this super large family was so refreshing, when most of what large families receive is derision and hatred.  Then the 83 year old singing a sly, clever & funny song (that is entirely inappropriate for kids, so makes me sad for the state of our nation--that such pieces are now considered family appropriate)--it was the way the judges and audience treated him with encouragement and respect even before he began, just to honor his age and say, "Good for you for trying, old man, even if you aren't any good," but then were so happy when he entertained them so thoroughly.  Then the Britian's Got Talent duo of the two boys singing/rapping their own anti-bullying song--and the twist in the song is the bully is the deadbeat dad of one of the boys.

I know--it sounds so pathetic to be sitting and watching such performances and crying. I can't help it--I automatically engage with the feelings of the person performing, or the story behind them being there, or the reaction of the parents or loved ones there to support them, or the judge that starts to cry.  The shows are silly, staged, edited for effect and definitely designed to tug at the heartstrings. But none of that matters.  The people performing, and their feelings, their longings, fears--those are real. And the way the audience or judges respond often show the best of who we can be--supportive, non-judgmental, cheering, empathizing.  Sometimes we get a little glimpse of who we are as a nation, or as people sharing this earth.  People who understand one another, if we just stop and listen and see.  The audiences that have strong reactions--they didn't mean to. They didn't plan it. But something in a person before them reached out and touched them, and they responded. Sometimes with whole hearts. 

It's called engagement.  It's a blessed, sacred thing. Even on reality performance TV shows.

OK, so that's all a bunch of nothingness. Except it isn't.  I have not been blogging because I have nothing to say, but because I have too much to say.  I am feeling so many things these days, and thinking so many things, and probably over feeling so many things, and definitely over thinking so many things. But I would rather be someone who cries at reality TV than someone who doesn't.  I am in a place of growing and learning, and it is scary and painful, but really, really good.

I'm also coming off of a 6 day visit here from my in-laws.  And I know my emotional response to these show clips is somehow a reflection of that--that I have been feeling and thinking so much that I can't turn it off, even when browsing youtube.

I keep saying I'm going to write again, even just snippets--but I have started so many posts and don't even get halfway through them!  I have a story to catch you all up on, and I think I will wait for 2 weeks--for the annual Week Without Children--before I try to write it. But I fear I am rusty at blogging now--so maybe I will try to post a few short things between now and then. We shall see.

But, until then:  smile and weep with me, and be in awe of what God can do in the most unexpected places. 

I hope you are all having a great month!