Planning some fun for 2018

Starting with a new purchase:

Apparently we really are tiny home people. 

A nice interior update to the 80s vintage of the trailer.  Just needs some fresh paint and a few minor things and this baby is ready for adventure.

Look! 4 bunks, each with its own window! This was probably what sold me on this particular trailer--each kid gets his or her own bed, which will probably be a blessing for the long adventure we are currently dreaming up.

Yes, that is extra sleeping space up above the dinette. This trailer can sleep 8 people! We will mostly use that for extra storage while on the road, but this means we could also take a set of grandparents or a couple of friends along for bit of fun. 

These are all the seller's original photos--but I will update with my own photos after we make a few improvements!  

So that's it for now--just wanted to share a bit of excitement as it unfolds. : )

FInishing Thoughts on Failing Sunday School

Boy, I did not mean to let that last post linger without follow-up for so long.  I never thought that last post would strike such a chord with you all, and I have really enjoyed reading your comments.  Lots of excellent points raised there!  Many of you have also shared your thoughts to me in email, or phone conversations. I appreciate how many of you cared about how I was feeling with Smiley's demotion, and wanted to offer suggestions.

And it made me realize I must have failed to strike the tone I intended in that last piece.  I was going for light humor with a touch of snark, but also acknowledgement of potentially meaningful educational ideology at play.  I think it came off instead like I was really upset, and am harboring resentment towards the Children's Ministry director.  So I want to reassure everyone that while the whole thing seemed to come out of the blue, and the director's response still puzzles me, I am NOT upset.

Most of all I want to make it clear that I have no hard feelings towards our Children's Ministry Director.  She is a lovely woman whom I like very much. She is a mom of two young boys, so I imagine would have reasonable and realistic expectations for boys Smiley's age in general.  I posted what I did because I saw the whole thing as stemming from a difference between the ways formally educated teachers (which the director is) and homeschool teachers view children and learning. So I thought it was worth thinking about--how do formally trained teachers view children's individuality/differences in the classroom?  How are common assumptions about what education is shaping how we do Sunday School, and is that good?  What are we really teaching our kids on Sunday mornings, and what ripple effect might those things have to our children as adults? 

For example--if we always give the kids one style of worship (which at our church is a young, energetic female leader up in front of the kids leading singing to pre-recorded praise songs with choreographed hand and body motions, VBS-style.  It is meant to be fun but I believe is unintentionally a little too "girly" and might understandably be alienating the boys, or making the older kids feel awkward) and say they *have* to do it with everyone else, what are we teaching them about corporate worship?  That it is dumb? That they have no choice? That following what everyone else is doing is more important than meaning it?  That worship is obeying a leader, instead of listening to God?  That the motions are what matter and not the heart?  What about kids who are in rebellion or who are not believers and just need to be accepted for where they are, and be welcomed and allowed to come and not participate as long as they are not disruptive?

Children's worship in Sunday school is just one of many things that we could talk about in such a vein.  We could also talk about the very structure of the time allotted for Sunday school, and what that says about our priorities.  For example, the last time DH and I led the 1st and 2nd grade class together on a Sunday morning, we had the kids sitting and listening to the Scripture reading for that day, but they did not understand the verse.  So I started to tell a story to illustrate the verse, to help them see what it was saying and how it applied to their lives.  It was one of those times when I must have been telling a story well, because the kids were all attentive, engaged--dare I say learning?--when the children's worship leader came to tell us we were late for the worship gathering.  So, we had to stop talking with a roomful of kids who were actually thinking about the Scripture verse and its meaning, and go wave our arms and stomp our feet in the name of Jesus.  Of course, I understand why they came to get us, and why they want all the kids in the large group time together--but with the crafts and games and all, the class ends up with about 10 minutes max to talk to the kids about the Bible, and clearly there is no flexibility for a group that gets really into the Word and wants to linger for a few more minutes in a "teachable moment."  What is all that saying about what we think is most important to teach the kids on Sunday morning? 

And these are the exact issues that stem from our Sunday Schools being modeled after traditional public schools. A model proven to be ineffective in the real world, I might add.  So if the public school model is failing at teaching our kids effectively about math, sciences, history, etc., why are we still using it as the foundation for how we teach kids about Jesus?

So the REAL problem with our Sunday Schools is that everyone is too used to the way things have always been done, and don't even question whether or not it is working, and what it is really teaching our kids about God and church.  Since Sunday Schools are modeled after public school, it would make perfect sense that a former public school teacher would be a really good Children's Ministry Director--and that she and I would not approach these issues the same way.  Homeschool parents naturally see outside the normal ways of doing things, and question everything (esp. authority ; ).  So I see what happened with our director and Smiley being demoted as being simply the result of a different way of thinking about educating kids, and I am completely ok with deferring to her preference on this one. 

But too, I think this situation is the result of the public school view of "socialization."

I think the Director thinks we are a little odd--just a little backwards/backwoods.  Truly, I am ok with that.  Some people have a really hard time understanding why others choose to homeschool, and I just think she is one of them, and it might be flavoring the way she views us--and thus Smiley's behavior in Sunday School. 

Once this past Spring she and I had a fascinating discussion after church on a Sunday.  It was that same week I mentioned above in the Scripture scenario, when DH and I were volunteering in the classroom.  We had gotten there a little late, so afterwards I went to apologize.  I also wanted to ask her not to schedule me for any more classroom time (I had never officially volunteered, but was being called a lot to fill in just because they know me) for a while, because it was too stressful for me to try to get to church early  (and was putting strain on my marriage).  This was in the middle of my depression and at the height of the crazy Spring schedule too, and underneath I was a complete mess even though I thought I was doing a pretty good job of looking normal on the outside, and I felt like I was Failing in pretty much every single aspect of my life, and was quite emotionally vulnerable.  And looking back, I was probably discouraged from "messing up" that morning's Sunday School class schedule by talking about the Bible longer than we were supposed to, and thus unknowingly holding up everyone else.  I already felt like I was always disappointing everyone and couldn't do anything right in other areas of my life, so that little moment of disapproval from the worship leader was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

So that morning, I let my overwhelmedness and sadness show for a moment, as I explained to the director why I couldn't handle the stress of feeling like I was failing at one more thing and so did not want any responsibilities in Children's Ministry at all.  I did not break down or cry or anything, but I am sure my brokenness came through in my face and voice.  And she was all sympathetic and understanding and sweet (because that is who she is) and then she brightly asked me something like, "So, if you don't mind telling me, what made you want to homeschool?" And I assumed this was a segue into a new life topic, and she was thinking about homeschooling her two young boys (SO many young moms from our church have jumped into homeschooling this year!) and so launched into an enthusiastic explanation about why we started, and how it has been such a great thing.  And when I finished my spiel, and she spoke again, it was to basically complete her original thought: "Because it sure seems like you are in over your head big time, and that's why you are such a mess."  She said it much more nicely than that, and I was touched that she cared.  But I was mentally smacking my forehead, that I had not inquired why she was asking before I told her all that stuff, because I realized she is not at all interested in homeschooling, she just thinks homeschooling is killing me and is not sure I can see that.  My reaction was quick, however, as I reassured her with disbelief: "Oh, no, not at all!  Homeschooling is the one thing going really WELL at the moment.  It's all the other things that are so hard right now!"  And it was true--homeschool was the one thing at that moment that was hard but at least rewarding.  (It was everything else in my life that pretty much sucked.)

So that conversation gave me new resolve not to let my brokenness slip out any more, and I think I did a fine job of functioning normally overall until God had me where He wanted me for receiving His truth and healing (which is still in process).  But it also reminded me of how most of the world just can't understand the beauty of homeschooling, esp. those who were formally educated.  (A lot of former Educators DO homeschool, or are able to see why it is a good choice for a lot of families, but I find that MOST Educators just can't go there--homeschooling challenges their very way of life, their identity, how they spend most of their time, the principles they have sacrificed so much for, and so they feel threatened by it.)

All that to say, when she and I spoke the other Sunday about Smiley moving back down to preschool, I had that prior conversation in the back of my head.  She just might have the teensy-tiniest thoughts about Smiley not being properly schooled/socialized, and that might be flavoring this decision to move him down. But again, this is not something I hold against her.  I just think her prior experience/indoctrination as a public school teacher is influencing her perspective on what it means for a kid to be ready, for a kid to be participating, for a kid to fit in, for a kid to be socialized, etc.  I am really and truly fine with her not having the same lens to view kids through that I as a homeschool mom have.  Everybody is limited in perspective--because we are all looking from different starting points.  We all just do the best we can with what we understand at the time, and I believe she believes this is best for everybody.  
 
Final thoughts:

-- I don't think she and I need to talk about it further, because I don't think that would change anything. 

--The whole brief discussion was also very awkward, and I don't want awkwardness between us, because she is a really nice woman and I am sure we will have a long relationship together as members of the same body.

--I appreciated that one of my reader friends, who also has kids in our Sunday School, asked me if anyone--the SS teachers or DH and I--had ever actually talked with Smiley about appropriate ways to show respect for the teacher and classroom.  No, I don't think anyone ever has--a great starting point!

--I'm not sure the director realized that Smiley is really, officially, in kindergarten--maybe that would have made a difference. 

--But maybe it would not have made any difference, given that she likely thinks he is not ready for the kindergarten class because he is not getting the benefits of "real" school and indoctrination into cultural norms (I'm realizing kindergarteners must not be allowed to lay on the floor while in school while learning.  Who knew? ; )

--I asked Merry and Happy about what Smiley had been doing during group time, and they did confirm that he was not going along with the hand motions or singing, and that he did lie down one time, and I guess overall he was not participating.  I asked Smiley about it, and he wanted to talk out of hearing of his sisters, and then he said he had been shy.  So, it does sound like his actions were being misinterpreted by everyone as immaturity--and what will happen to other shy kids who come? 

--And yet, maybe shyness leading to non-participation is immaturity. 

--Most importantly, Smiley is totally happy being back with his best buddy Hecho, and is building relationships with two other little boys that make me happy.  I do wonder what will happen in the future when we move him up again--is there some point at which they will realize he is a class behind his grade and want him to jump back up?  Or will Smiley realize at some point that he is not with the other boys in his grade and wonder why?  Ah, we will deal with such questions when they come.  For now, this is fine. 


Ok, so I think that covers everything.  Again, I really appreciated all of your comments and queries.  I believe it is really important that the church think through the messages we are sending our kids, and the things we are indoctrinating them into.  If what we are doing in any way hinders the Truth of God's love, Jesus's covering Grace, and the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives today, then it needs to change.  Maybe having so many homeschooling families at our church (15 so far!) will end up having a subtle effect on the church body in a good way. . . but I will trust God to lead me to know when to speak and when to be still.  This time I don't have any urge to speak, so am trusting I wasn't supposed to. : )

Much love to you all this fine Fall day!

Random update #1--In Which My Son Fails Sunday School

Smiley was demoted in Sunday School. 

This past August, on "Move Up Sunday," we dutifully moved him from the preschool room to the kinder room, even though he was sad to be leaving his best bud "Hecho," son of Rosa.  Then three weeks ago, the Children's Ministry leader approached me after Sunday School to gently confront me, and said she thought Smiley should move back down to the preschool room. When I asked why, she said because he was not participating as [she thought] he should during the large group time (when the k-5 kids get together in a larger classroom and sing and dance and watch a [really boring] cartoon Bible lesson.  I think she said he was laying down for part of it and must have seemed disinterested. . . which I have seen other kids do. . . .

Huh.  I just smiled brightly and said, "Oh, ok!" 

Smiley turned 5 in Sept and is officially a kindergartener.  He has also spent his entire "preschool" life participating in educational activities with children much older than himself.  He sits and watched long documentaries about nature and science and history--he watched the entire Ken Burns' "The West" series this past Spring, for heaven's sake.  The boy has a much better attention span than most his age.  At home, he dances and sings--with tutus to boot.  He listens well and has never seemed to demonstrate any inability to know what is expected and follow along.  He is a people person, and jumps right in with whatever playing is going on.  Other people love having him over at their houses because he is such a good little guy who is so easy to please, and who plays with others so well.

The leader is a lovely woman whom I have known for many years now and whom I like very much.  She is also a former public school elementary teacher.   I think it is safe to say this is a true case of homeschooler prejudice--clearly this poor boy is showing a lack of proper socialization, and does not know how a kindergarten boy should act.  Maybe I should teach him to hit other boys?  Or quickly and uncaringly color and complete whatever is placed before him and then run off to throw toys inappropriately? 

Ok, I realize I sound bitter, but I am seriously typing this with a smile.  Well, a wry smile.  I see this not as a flaw in the leader, but as an example of the faulty training she herself received.  I am sure the leader saw something in Smiley that made her think that was a wise choice, but I am seriously flummoxed.  I have volunteered in Sunday School many times now, and have a pretty good idea of what normal participation is, esp. for boys his age.  What I described above is how some (even older!) boys act each week, and I don't think the leader would approach their parents and suggest they need to be moved to a lower class. 

And interestingly enough, this is the EXACT kind of thing that happened to us when Sunny was actually in public kindergarten--she was omitted from things the rest of the class was doing because "she was too young."  Um, yes she was on the young end, but if the state says she should be here, then um, accommodate her!  Oh, wait--they did.  They pulled her out of the classroom to have special intervention with a special-needs aid.  Without talking to us about it first.  And similarly, we loved her kinder teacher, and thought she was awesome--but clearly there is something in the public school teacher mentality that has to take any kid who is odd or different and label them "special needs."  As in, "we need to fix that."

**Clarifier--Sunny probably was gaining good things from the attention she was receiving, working on gross motor skills and all that.  I have NO PROBLEM with my child spending time with an aide and a Down Syndrome girl.  Great!  She would not have qualified for an IEP anyway, so a little special attention on the sly--perfect.  But it was really disconcerting to feel like my child was being labeled, and then biased against, just because she was a little different.  And I don't think any child should be taken out of the classroom on a regular basis without the parent's knowledge and approval.  That felt creepy.

But back to Smiley--clearly my second "special needs" child.  ; ) Good thing, as a homeschool mom, I honestly don't care one whit what "grade" he is in.  And so the next week I got to tell him he could go back to his old classroom and get to be with Hecho!  Yay!  He was so glad, and actually I am too, because I realized there are two other little boys who had moved up to the class that I would like for him to befriend--one was recently adopted, and one is the son of a lovely fellow homeschool mom!  (And then the little adopted boy just last week choose Smiley to be his special guest at his birthday dinner--how special is that!  Clearly the boys are striking up a friendship, and I LOVE the parents, so that's all a win!)

So, really, it's all fine.  But I do still just have to smile sadly and shake my head.   I think VERY highly of public school teachers as a profession.  I do not even know how they do it--they seriously have one of the toughest jobs out there, and one of the most important.  Both my parents were public school teachers, and I think they were very good at what they did.  But I do have issue with some of the ways modern teachers are taught to think what Education is, and how best to impart it to young minds--and both DH (who volunteers in the Sunday School classrooms way more than I do) and I have complained to one another that too much of the way our (and probably most) Sunday School is run is very akin to public school, to its loss.

Maybe one of these days they need a homeschool parent in charge.  ; )  Now THAT would be fascinating to see!

Um, that makes me so tired just thinking about.  No, I'll leave the lovely leader to her post, and support her as much as I can.  Which in this case, means putting Smiley back into preschool and letting it go.  He's happy, she's happy, DH is disgruntled but what can he do, and I'm choosing to see it as Just One of Those Things That Ends Up For The Best Anyhow.  : )

Anti-Procrastination--and a story

I wrote this yesterday, but did not post it because I wanted the Princess Penny auction to have center stage. : )  Doesn't matter--it is just as relevant today, as you will see!

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It's Wednesday, and that means the weekly Anti-Procrastination Day.

And this week, I mean business.

Just recently I realized how much mental baggage I am carrying around with me daily from things undone that I really want/need done.  They are a drain on my thinking, and when I let them go too long they start to drag at my spirit.  There was something in particular that had been on my to-do list since my big GET IT DONE push this past Spring--and one week ago I still had not done it.  And since telling you all about this is one more thing I have been meaning to do for some time, this is the perfect day to do so!

You see, our neighbors on one side of us had a little dog named Willa, who for a while kept escaping from their yard, and running away down our busy road.  Of course any time we heard them calling for her we would go help look--that's what neighbors do!  But then they must have figured out where she was getting out and fixed the problem, because months went by without a single escape, and thus without us really interacting with them. 

But during those months our neighbors (who were living together but not married) went through a bad relational spell, and were fighting all the time.  And the woman was a yeller.  Our house is only about 5 feet from their house, and our walls are thin--we couldn't hear most of the words (although often we could) but we could hear the raging and miserable voices rising and falling, and things slamming and banging.  Sometimes I was really concerned that she was going to make him so mad he would  hurt her, because she was truly a shrieking harpy, attacking him, tearing him apart.  It was really ugly.  Sometimes they would start in yelling and the kids would be lying in bed listening to it for over an hour as they were trying to fall asleep.  I didn't know what to do about it--so we would just put on music, or talk to the kids about sin and how it consumes us and hurts our relationships if we let it, and pray for the neighbors.

I think they knew we could hear them.  They probably heard me yell at the kids enough to know how sound carries between our houses (I often find myself yelling to the kids to do/stop doing X, Y or Z while I am standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes before dinner--the place closest to their house where the sound probably travels the best.  I love being such a great example of parenting to the world. Sigh.).   And I know the woman at least felt badly about it--because one day this past Spring as we were sitting quietly schooling in the living room, the girls saw Willa running down the road again.  Of course I ran over to knock on the neighbor's door to tell her, and was thankful that they were home.  The neighbors went searching, and found her within 10 minutes--ironically in our backyard (she must have run through a different neighbors yard down the road and then backtracked up the creek).  So, it was all over very quickly, and was not really that big of a deal.

But then half an hour later, there was a knock on our door, and there stood the neighbor lady, with a large gift bag in her hand.  She wanted to thank us for what great neighbors we are, and of course I just said that's what neighbors do, but then she apologized for how they were not great neighbors, and the way she said it I knew she meant the fighting.  So she and I made it a quick and slightly awkward but friendly exchange.   Once inside, we opened the gift bag to find a large plastic tub of craft bits (with a $30 price tag on the bottom!) for the kids.  And then there was also a card for me--the wording of which confirmed my suspicion that this gift was given more as an apology than a thank-you.  Inside the card was a gift certificate to a local upscale kids/home boutique--for the amount of $300.  Yes, three hundred dollars. 

Of course I flipped out a little, and thought we can't accept this!  It was clearly a guilt offering.  Accepting it would be like taking blood money, a bribe to keep our eyes averted from the carnage.  But yet. . . I thought about the few exchanges I had earlier with this neighbor, who had lived next to us for about one year.  How I took her some fresh picked strawberries, and she brought over a rainbow-maker for the kids' window.  How I took her some fresh picked tomatoes, and she brought over a potted orchid for my kitchen windowsill.  Gift-giving seems to be one of her main love languages, as it is one of mine.  I thought about how I would be feeling if I was in her place--probably being really hard on myself for how poorly I was reacting to the conflict between me and my partner, and then also feeling so guilty for not being able to stop it, even if I knew it was negatively affecting others.  I would be feeling really vulnerable, and wanting to be accepted and loved and forgiven.  If gift giving is really one of her love languages, then giving back the gift would be like rejecting her love--and being critical not only of her in her weakness, but also of her attempts to make things right!

But I also felt badly keeping it.  It was just so over-the-top.  Finally, I decided we would use some of it to buy something fun or useful for our family, and with some of it I would try to buy something little and meaningful for the neighbor as a thank you back, and then the rest of it I would ask the store if we could break up into two separate gift certificates, like $100 each.  I can then give those to our local Crisis Pregnancy Center for a silent auction they have coming up--using this woman's love offering to spread even more love around our community. 

But most importantly, I needed to give the neighbor a big THANK YOU that would show her the forgiveness and acceptance and love I think she wished for.

But.  This is where perfectionism and life got the best of me.  Because  this happened right in the middle of all the stressful, busy, overwhelming season I had this past Spring, and I had in my head the "right" way to say thank you (for the kids to make a rainbow craft from some of the goodies from the big jar the neighbor had given them, because we know she likes rainbows) but that ended up being just one more thing to do and our weeks were already so full, and to also invite the neighbor over for tea and some "girlfriend" chat, because maybe God wanted me to minister to her heart with some loving, encouraging words, but my house was such a wreck and I was such a wreck and so I kept thinking I would get everything "right" and then take over the thank you/invite the next week. . . .  And I kept meaning to, and meaning to.

Finally, I decided the Week Without Children would be a good time for uninterrupted, adult conversation, and made up an invitation for tea in my kitchen and asked her to contact me to arrange it at her convenience.  I waited until after the mail carrier had come by, and then walked over and slipped it into their mailbox with the other letters.  And never heard from her.

But then about 2 weeks ago I started to notice some things were different over there.  Our houses are very close together, but their front entry and driveway are on the other side from us, with tall privacy fences in between, so we really don't see the neighbors coming or going or notice what they are about unless they come over to the far side of their back deck, which overlooks our yard.  But I started to notice all the usual things from the deck weren't there any more.  I didn't hear the neighbors as much (the terrible fighting stopped shortly after the big gift, so maybe the two are connected--I don't know), and somehow the house just started to seem less occupied. So on July 30 in the evening I asked DH to walk over and peek into their windows (looking through their front fence into the big picture window in their living room--not being a peeping tom, because anyone could do this just walking by) to see if he saw anything amiss. And he came back and reported that it looked like they were moving, as most of their furniture was gone.  And he suggested that since the next day was the last day of the month, they would probably finish moving their stuff out that next day.

Ack!  No more time to procrastinate!  So the next morning I wrote out the thank-you note I should have written months earlier, and ran over and taped it to their gate.  Then the girls all sat at the kitchen table and made the sweetest big rainbow out of heavy cardstock and tissue paper and colorful embellishments and cotton ball clouds and a big red heart.  It took all day (except for lunch and some errands), and we finished right before having to leave for swimming lessons at 5pm.  It was still tacky with glue, but I was worried the neighbors would come and get the last load of stuff in the driveway before we got back from swimming.  And my timing was perfect, because when I ran over, there was a friend of theirs loading up the stuff from the driveway, and so he opened the garage so I could put the art in it by the very last load they would come back for (and I taped the thank you note on the back).  I am sure now they must have received it.   

I also found out from the friend that they only moved across the creek!  So they are still very near, and so I have hopes that the woman will contact me and say yes to my invitation, which I repeated in the thank you  note.

We'll see.  It's possible that my months of delay acknowledging the extravagant gift hurt her feelings and put a wedge between us.  It's possible she wants a clean break from their rough relational patch while living next door to us, and getting together with me would seem to defeat that.  It's possible she does not want to talk about anything personal, and fears I would want to.  None of this matters.  I thanked, I invited, we crafted and gifted.  I did what I needed to do to get the weight of the undone off my shoulders.

And it feels sooooooo good! 

Once the art and note were delivered, I felt free.  Spiritually so much lighter.  I did not realize how much weight just that one big undone thing carried.  I think it weighed so heavily because it involved the feelings of another person--and me imagining the unlove I might be causing that person to feel, which led me to feel guilty.  I have to remind myself that I did not ask for the overwhelming gift, it came at a really bad time, and I did not handle it like I should have, but it is over now.  DONE.  I refuse to carry any lingering remorse or guilt about it.  I will do what I intended with the gift certificate, and then that will be done too.  I even just got a notice that the charity auction is coming up, and the timing could not be better. And when I go shopping with the remainder, I will allow myself to enjoy it, and be thankful.  : )  I will be blessed by it and pray God blesses my former neighbor too.

But the huge release I have already experienced just from delivering the art and note leads me to think--what else have I been dragging my feet on that is a huge burden in my life/heart/house/thinking/energy/spirit?  I want to seek out those things and GET THEM DONE.  I have enough to worry about in every day--I don't want excess!

So even before I got out of bed this morning I thought about the things that I wanted/needed to do, the things that seemed most urgent or that I was spending too much time thinking about.  I'm making my list--and this time I'm not going to list everything, but just a few specific things, and then just get them done.

I meant to start today.  But this is a "summer school" week and my kids are choosing poorly and yesterday they did not get their (minimal) work done and I am finding I have to stay on top of them today (i.e. hang out here in the living room where they are working) to keep them focused and choosing well.  So, I could feel defeated before even starting my Anti-procrastination push.  But I'm just choosing instead to be happy for lots of blogging time today, and make firm goals for the big push.  I hope to blog more specifically about it tomorrow--and will let you know when I'm starting, in case you want to jump in the fun with me!  We can encourage one another! 

Happy Wednesday Thursday everyone!

Very special auction ends tonight!

[The following message is from Amy Rainey.  See you over at Princess Penny's auction before midnight tonight!]

Greetings!

Can you believe that another week-long auction is almost over? Only hours remain in our Princess Penny auction.

Have you been outbid? It is time to check things out. There are still some item with no bids, or with extremely low bids. Many items are still way below their retail value.

It is not too early to start thinking about Christmas gifts! Make your money work hard. Find a lovely gift, and help a precious girl come home. She matters!

Thank you in advance, my friends!

 Be Blessed,

 Amy Rainey

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My words now!  I can't believe how quickly time is flying by.  I did not realize the auction for Penny would only be one week long--and so I have not told you about it! 

This auction is one blogger's way of *doing* something to help special needs orphans get into their forever families.  She organizes the auctions, and then wonderful, generous people give things to help raise money for the adopting family, and then other wonderful, generous people place bids on those things.  I too have participated in several of these auctions, both in donating and in bidding.  There are some really nice things at very low prices still available!  I did early Christmas/birthday shopping the last time there was one, and got things like a custom-made baby quilt for my baby niece Sweetness, a handmade little girl apron for her big sister Spice, two handmade doll afghans (just right for the girls' American girl dolls, which can go in their Christmas stockings), and some homemade, pure vanilla extract in adorable little bottles for MIL and me!  So please go look at the things offered--maybe you will give yourself  the gift of getting some gift buying done while you are blessing Penny's family!

This auction is very special to me for another reason too--we have something very special up for auction in it.  : )   As you know from all the photos I have posted over the years (like here and here and here) my mother is amazingly talented, and the vintage-style smocked dresses she has made for the girls are beautiful.  Each girl has so enjoyed having special things made just for her by Grandma, and I have enjoyed seeing my girls in such cute things.  But now we are outgrowing most of the hand-smocked things, and I am starting to pack them away "for posterity."  Hopefully they will do well in storage under our house, and hopefully my girls will someday grow up and have daughters of their own, and will be glad to have those loving memories and beautiful things for their own girls.  But I have no guarantee of any of that.  I have been taught over and over through so many things in life that we can't hold too tightly to things.  There is a good chance that my best efforts at storing them will not lead to the end I hope for--we could have a house fire, or flooding, or I don't know what could happen, and so I can do my best to preserve them, but I can't count on having these beautiful, meaningful things forever. 

In other words, I can attempt to store up my treasures here on earth, or I could try to store up more treasures in heaven.  

So about a year ago I asked my mother if she would mind if we donated one of the dresses she made for my girls to help bring home an orphan girl into her family, and she graciously said yes.  So just last week as I was going through our "heirloom" bin to pack away things recently outgrown, I chose one dress that I thought others might like and would bid on.  It was made for Sunny, and worn by all three girls, but only to church, and so it is in excellent condition still.  It makes my heart sing to give something I love to God's "Kingdom work."  Not only will the money raised help bring a little girl to her new family, but whoever wins it is going to be so excited to give it to her daughter or granddaughter.  So I *could* have kept the dress, and hoped it would safely store for the next 20-30 years until there is a granddaughter old enough to wear it.  But now, in giving the dress to bless others for God's good purpose, it will be worn and loved by who knows how many more little girls! 

If you want to see which dress, and my sweet Happy modeling it, I encourage you to stop by the auction.  Who knows--maybe you will see something else you want to bid on too!  : )

Just be quick, because the auction ends tonight!

p.s.  If you see me bidding on something, please feel free to outbid me. In fact, please outbid me.  It would make me so happy. : )

A Requiem for Hanson

Oh, my goodness.

Just when I've had a pretty cynical season, seeing so much more of the selfish, closed-minded side of humanity, being frustrated by spiritual stagnation and seeing the same sins and self-serving over and over and over and over (in myself, in my family, in our nation). . . something has broken through to me this morning.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know I have written before about Julia over at Micah Six Eight, and esp. the "Mulligan Stew" fundraiser she organizes every year to help raise funds to see Eastern European special needs orphans brought into loving families.  She also advocates for who she calls the "Lost Boys," boys with Down Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy or other special needs who were not adopted and are now facing a lifetime of institutionalization in conditions we would call at best "primitive"--or at worst "criminal." 

There was a boy who was given the fundraising moniker "Hanson":

photo from Reece's Rainbow

He was one of the "Lost Boys" that Julia championed.  But he died, alone, in a crib in a barren room--unloved, uncared-for.  Overlooked.  Ignored. Deemed as worthless.

His death is one of those quiet tragedies that play out across our globe every second of every moment of every day.

It is so easy to not think about the things that don't immediately affect us. 

It is so easy to not think about the things that would make our hearts ache, if we stopped to really think about them.  The same things that make God's heart ache.

The world says there's no reason to care about this little boy, half a world away, who spent his whole life in a crib, was not loved, who had physical issues and may have had significant mental delays and was not able to contribute to society.  Because of course these are the things that give our lives worth: our contributions to society.  Or being loved by somebody.  Or having presence in the public arena.  Or even fully understanding what's going on around us. 

Not just being noticed, but being seen.

Yes, those are the ways we assign value to a person.  Estimate their worth. But that's not how God sees our value.

And this morning, I read on Julia's blog a jaw-dropping, handkerchief-filling testimony to the value of a life, when we see "the least of these" through God's eyes.

Ok, maybe the story won't mean the same to you--maybe you won't be struck so hard by all the attention being given to someone who represents the forgotten.  The effort and time and planning and thought being offered as a sacrifice in homage of those who the world says wouldn't deserve it.  Some people are saying, because I love, I care.  And because I care, I grieve.  And because I love and care and grieve--I celebrate.  I urge you to go read it.

On Gay Marriage--with more question marks than exclamation points

Sometimes when I am quiet on this blog it is because I am spending my blogging time writing on someone else's blog. Yes, that's the vanity of bloggers--getting so sure of our own voices that we jump into discussion elsewhere, assuming we are most welcome. ; )  I don't post long comments to other people's blogs often--just when it seems welcomed and warranted.  And sometimes it is better to blog elsewhere, where the topic has already been raised, then here on my own blog, where my opinions might make someone feel less welcome.  I would never want that!  I want this blog to be a safe place for people to visit--and I hope anyone who visits feels welcome and never attacked.  I also never want my visitors to think I am saying my perspective is the right one, and hope you all who read feel comfortable commenting and even disagreeing with me.  (As long as we all stay kind. : ) 

So, there are things going on in the world that I do have strong opinions about that I've never gone into on this blog.  Sometimes because I imagine you are as tired as I am of hearing about them!  And sometimes because I imagine you might be feeling like I am, that there is always someone pointing fingers and name calling those who disagree with them, and so you just don't want to go there.  It feels pretty much like a person is wrong for his or her own opinions about anything wherever they turn in the media/social media.  I might disagree with someone about something, but I try to always see where they are coming from, and affirm their right to their voice, and a different opinion.  At least, I hope I always do. 

Anyway, a few weeks back I was led to this blog post about different Christian perspectives on gay marriage.  It had some of the best dialogue (at least in the comments) I have come across in the whole big national debate--but most importantly, it had some of the most reasonable discussion.  It was a safe place to voice an opinion and be treated with respect.  So I ended up writing my own stance, which I decided to share with you here too:


I find myself in a fascinating place of “betweens”:

–Honored to have gay and lesbian friends and also very conservative Christian friends.
 
–Very aware that in Christ I have the full freedom to love them all, equally, without reservation.

–Christian, but fully aware that I do not (yet?) understand what God thinks about his gay children marrying, but do know that He loves them.

–Pro-civil unions, but saddened by the political usurpation of the covenantal term “marriage” (I think all legally-recognized unions should be civil, and the sacrament of Christian marriage should have nothing to do with the government–too late to turn back that clock, however!)

–Very glad that there are churches that welcome and embrace homosexuality, since I don’t (yet?) know what God thinks about it and gay marriage. But also proud of my church and pastors for not capitulating to cultural pressure to say it is Ok when they believe God’s Holy Word says otherwise. We are in one of the most liberal areas in the US, but our pastors and church body manage to walk that fine line of welcoming and truly loving people, but also not being ashamed to speak what they believe is God’s Truth. God is not politically correct, that I know for sure.

–Believing that our government did (albeit unintentionally) guarantee same-sex marriage in its original documents, when it built our nation upon the right to “pursue happiness.” But also believing that the church must not have the same definition of liberty—our definitions and understandings of such terms must come from Scripture, and from the closest, most accurate reading of it, regardless of whether or not it says what we want it to say.

–Wanting only the best for my GLBTQ (and whomever else I am omitting) friends, and those who are going to be entering into same-sex marriages. I am so happy for them for finding love, and do believe that ANY human love is the result of the lingering image of God within us—we can only love at all because of Him, so any love is worth celebrating—but yet if I do believe that same-sex love is not what God intended, and may be outside of His will for His beloved children, then how am I loving my GLBTQ friends by pretending all is well?

–Actually being quite comfortable with the conundrum above, since I believe we can love people fully, and speak the truth as best we know it, and still live in unity. But very few other people seem to be comfortable with it—needing others to think as they do.

–Really uncomfortable with ANYBODY, on either side of the issue, who claims complete authority about their interpretation of God’s word. Why don’t we hear more qualifiers when people write/speak? Whatever happened to phrases like “according to a traditional interpretation of Scripture. . . ” or “As best as I can understand this passage. . . “? Everyone writes as if they are the final word. (Kudos to Preston Yancey for his carefully-written stance.)

–Concerned that there is such a thing as a slippery slope—and while I completely agree with the commentator who said she would much rather be on the slipper slope with the Holy Spirit than on seemingly firm ground, it sure seems to me that there is historical precedent for and fine logical thinking behind some people bemoaning some of the potential places they foresee this historic moment taking us.

And speaking of which, I used to teach rhetoric at a large university, and taught my students to address “likely objections to their argument” in their persuasive writing. When I see Christians theorizing about the implications of cultural trends, and projecting the future path of our nation, I see a lot of negative backlash from those who disagree, but rarely a logical address of their insights and concerns. In other words, it is really easy to shout things like “hate speech!” and “homophobe” and “fear-monger!” but much less easy to form a clearly-articulated and well-reasoned address of the actual concerns raised. And NEITHER side is very good at anticipating and addressing “likely objections.” While I agree that the original authors of this post did not end up representing a very broad spectrum of opinions on this topic, I have appreciated that the comments section has been overall lucid, respectful, intelligent, and has better addressed dissenting views.

Just a few thoughts to add to the discussion. No human issues are only black and white, and I wish more people were willing to live in the “gray” spaces between. Not saying my “between” stance is the only correct one to have–and thus negating the very idea of it!–but saying I very much appreciate people who are willing to be vulnerable, and seek to understand others, and not claim to have all the answers, not even claiming to have all the questions, but doing their best to love no matter what.

______________

I didn't share the more personal stuff.  Like the fact that DH and I have gay and lesbian friends in real life.  That I actually believe there is nothing wrong with gay and lesbian relationships and believe I am not only called to love all people, but am called to be true friends with them.  I think they should be allowed to marry--in a legal espousement.  But I also think all this changes when the people in question are professing faith in Christ.  Then--I don't know.  I have read lots of theological views about why God does not want his children in homosexual relationships--and their interpretations of Scripture seem sound. Their arguments are logical.  I have also read arguments that attempt to prove that we have traditionally misinterpreted those same passages of Scripture, and God is not anti-homosexuality but actually anti-pederasty (for example). 

I need to tell you that I WANT to be convinced that God is fine with active homosexuality in his faith-professing children, and that He supports gay marriage.  But I have not been convinced--so far the interpretations and explanations of Scripture seem to make more sense the other way.  If anyone reading this wants to recommend a book that successfully posits the Bible as pro-gay stance, please feel free to recommend it. 

Most of all, I want to take God at His word, and not fall into the trap of reading into His word what I want it to say.

I am also confused because there is clear biological evidence that what we call gender is actually much more fluid in it's physical construct than we may have previously believed.  It is really a spectrum,  like so many other things about our physical/emotional/mental natures.  Our biology makes some men more slender and have higher-pitched voices--i.e. slightly more "feminine."  Similarly, some women are stronger and have lower voices--or more facial hair.  Do we say God messed up in making them?  That He clearly slipped a little too much of one gender into the batter on accident?  Or did He make them just like He wanted them--at just a  slightly higher or lower place on the spectrum than what we would expect?

Some people are born with both sets of genitalia, and their "true" gender is not even expressed until they hit puberty.  Again, did God mess up?  Is their condition the result of the Fall, and how all of creation has been perverted away from His original, perfect design?  Or are they perfect, just as they are? 

Some people are born with genetic variances so that they express one  gender their whole life--but in actuality their chromosomes are those for the opposite gender!  Yes, such things happen, and learning about them was the first thing that made me wonder if God might just actually make some people gay.  I strongly urge anyone who is also wrestling with these ideas to watch this video. 

Then again, being created physically to be "gay" might have nothing to do with what God expects of us in terms of Righteousness. 

And I firmly believe that God would not create anyone without any choice but to sin.  How could He? 

But I do also believe we can have genetic pre-disposition to things that could more readily lead us to sin--like chemical imbalances in the brain that are inherited by future generations (we are learning more about this all the time through research into epigenetics).  Also, there are things that we as humans are doing to our environment that are having consequences we never would have anticipated--so then do we say the gender expression differences that come from human meddlings are personal sin or "the sins of the fathers vested upon the children"?  Either way, what do we say to those men and women with corrupted DNA when they show up at church ready to profess faith in Christ but not ready to give up their same-sex partner and commit themselves to a life of celibacy? 

Sigh. 

So, that's why I wrote the above to that web dialogue--to represent the middle ground of people who just don't know what to think, and who don't assume they know what God thinks about it all.  I know what I *think* He says about homosexuality, and what I can then infer He thinks about gay marriage. But I also know Jesus wept.  He knows our human struggles and His heart broke for us--and His love covers all sin.  His quiet voice stills all confusion--but have we learned how to listen?  

I really appreciated this article for how it questioned why we as Christians are so up in arms over gay marriage, something Jesus did not specifically talk about in Scripture, when we are at the same time so conveniently ignoring other things He said loudly and clearly.  One of my favorite quotations from the piece:  "Maybe we should all be required to pick an issue that requires US to change and not OTHERS to change." Now that thought perfectly reflects Jesus. 

One book I just heard about yesterday, which I am now very interested in reading: The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey Into Christian Faith by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield.  (Isn't her name straight out of a novel?)  She was a tenured professor at Syracuse, and a lesbian in a committed long-term relationship.  And then. . . God happened.

So, there you go.  I'm out of the closet, so to speak, about my feelings and thoughts about gay marriage.  To sum it all up: I don't know.

Last thought: DH's best friend from high school is a wonderful man named Chris.  He is gay, and when he was going to get "married" (way back when it just meant something to couples as a sign of personal commitment and had no blessing of the state) in Washington state, he invited DH to come.  DH went, gladly, wanting to share in his friend's happiness and show him love.  I remember when I told my parents he was going to do this--anticipating mild disapproval and disappointment, I admit--I was surprised and happy when my dad said, "Good for him."  He recognized that we show God's love to people by being in relationship with them. 

One of our pastors, Dan Kimball, said it this way in a sermon (my paraphrase): anytime a non-believer invites us into his or her life, that space is holy ground.

Anyone want to share more fodder for discussion?  Your thoughts are welcome!

What We've Been Up To--The Abbey Art Show

This series I had been posting got broken up by the unexpected family heart drama, but I want to go back and wrap it up, since I had most of the posts half written and I know my mother and maybe some more of you would like to see the last things I had intended upon sharing. And because my brain gets sad when things are posted too illogically. : )

double-click to embiggen if you care to read about the show's formal objectives and criteria, or if you want to see any of the following art pieces a little closer.

Merry's piece, entitled "New Life on a Spring Day"

Happy's piece, "New Life"

A different view of the piece, to show how the butterflies' wings add a layer of extra dimension 

Sunny's piece, "Morning Has Broken"

The artists the morning of the art show opening, with their pieces behind them

This show was so fun to organize, although it was a lot of work.  This was not just a show for the Vintage Homeschool kids, but for homeschool kids county-wide!  So it also served as a bridge-building event between our church and the un-churched local homeschool community--there were lots of families who participated, and who came to the opening party, who avoid churches and who had never set foot in the Abbey before.  They were all very positive about the experience, so I hope we helped generate some goodwill in the local community.

The artist/teacher who is the Art Director at the Abbey Coffee Lounge (the non-profit coffee shop that is part of our church) is a woman from church with whom I am friendly, so I had asked her last Fall if there would be a possibility of a homeschool art show sometime, and she said we could put up a show for Easter and leave it up the month of April.  So that was another bonus in my mind of the show's timing--the theme "New Life" allowed some of the Christian kids to be natural witnesses by making their art celebrate Easter and what Christ did on the cross for all peoples, but it also allowed kids to have more Spring-ish pieces or other creative interpretations of the theme.

When we were hanging the art, the Art Director said it was the best school show she has seen there.  I was so proud of the kids!  She also commented on how smart it was for me to have the two required elements to the show--the conceptual theme of "New Life" and also a construction theme of "layers"--because it likely led to more thoughtful, exploratory, and purposeful art.  I was so glad to hear that, because that was exactly why I did it.  Knowing the homeschool families who would likely be participating, and how child-led their schooling is, I knew there was a real possibility some kids might scribble with crayons and call it a day and their parents would submit it to the show.  So, I purposefully made the requirements more stringent to keep that from happening, and I was so glad to hear a "real" artist affirm that call.  My decision to use the black matte boards for visual cohesion also worked really well--look at how fabulous and "serious" the kids' works look on that wall!  (There was another whole wall of art as well in the hallway leading to the church offices, but since my kids did not have art on that wall I was not including those pics here.)

This was the first time I ever curated an art show, and it was so rewarding!  To be honest, it was such a hard Spring for me it felt really good to have one thing work out well--to feel like all the time and energy put into something was worth it.  Let's just say, I poured my self into other things this Spring that did not end up being rewarding, and were even a little soul-sucking.  So looking back on this event makes me happy.

(Although I should also say that the whole taking down and parents picking up their art aspect has been a nightmare, involving many hours and much fruitless planning on my part, and it is still not over--there are STILL three pieces of art sitting out in the upstairs church office hallway over the Abbey, which of course I feel still responsible for, and am worried custodians or other church people might end up annoyed over, and which of course I tried to hand over responsibility for to the parents multiple times. . . but even if the parents have had plenty of warning, and the show has been over for a month now, how can I just stick their children's masterpieces in the trash?  Sigh.  Just goes to show there are often a lot more hours of involvement and psychological weight behind one little date on my Spring plan.)

Still, I'll choose to remember just the fun and good in this event. : )  It was so worthwhile.

Mulligan Stew--it's a party!

I just want to take a moment and encourage anyone still coming by my blog to please go to Julia's blog to read about the latest "Mulligan Stew" she is hosting to benefit special-needs orphans.  You can read all about it here.

Let me tell you why this giveaway is so close to my heart:

--Special needs people are often looked down upon in any culture for being culturally "on the fringe" of acceptability.  You know what I mean.  All people are uncomfortable with the unknown, and most of us don't get to interact with people with disabilities all that much, so when we are with them we aren't sure how to act, what to think. 

--Special needs people in some cultures are viewed so negatively and ignorantly that they are locked away in institutions as infants because of their differences--and unless they are adopted, will spend the rest of their lives there. 

--Another way to say that:  they will die there.  How soon before they die there is really the only variable.

--We cannot fully comprehend what life is like for those kids.  But if you have twelve minutes, please watch the video linked to this post and you will have a pretty good feel.  You will also hear the pain in the voices of a family who loved a boy from one of those institutions, who were on their way to officially being his parents, but who did not make it in time.  Due to lack of love and care, their son died only months before he would have been rescued.

--So you have orphans.  That's rough enough; they are pretty low in the hierarchy of who the world deems is valuable.  Under them come special-needs orphans.  And under them, at the very bottom of the whole heap, crushed and suffocated by the burden of unlove the world places on them, are the "Lost" children, those who are condemned for life death in conditions we would expect to see in a prison story set in the dark ages. 

--Julia's heart is for these "Lost" children--the most very "least of these" we could imagine.  Those are the children who will benefit from your participation in the giveaway.  Some of them have families coming to get them; some of them languish in unlove, moving ever closer to the age at which they will be unadoptable and will be sentenced to miserable lives deaths in those institutions.

So!  I know some of you who come by and read this blog also have big hearts, and care about helping those in need.  I know some of you take your Christian faith seriously, and would see this as another chance to obey God in "caring for orphans and widows in their distress."  And I know pretty much all of you would enjoy a chance to win a fabulous prize!  And let me tell you, there are some REALLY great prizes to be given away!  I even donated one. : )

(Last Fall I made a donation and entered the giveaway to help the Salem family bring home Hasya and Kael.  And I was so surprised that I won a $100 Target giftcard!  Whoo-hoo!  I was a little worried about money last fall, so it seemed like such a gift from God, which I could use for Christmas gifts.  Well, all circumstances working together, I did not end up doing so.  Then a month or so ago I decided to make a special trip to Target just because I needed some things I could get there, and I thought I should use the card before I lost it.  After getting to the cash register, I could not find the card!  But upon getting home, immediately remembered where I had stuck it in my purse--for safekeeping.   I started to wonder if the card was meant for me, or if it was meant to be passed on, to increase its giving--and when I saw this post of Julia's, I knew what the answer was.  So, in honor of Darren, I gladly offered it to Julia.  It's a special card, even *signed* by the fabulous Adeye, who I know would be so glad to know how the blessing just keeps going on. : )

So please go see!  Please look at the faces of the children who would be blessed by you.  Please donate and spread the love however you feel led.  Even $5 is something.  Don't forget, what matters is whatever we do. 

Whatever we do.

If you have a blog, please consider sharing!  You can copy the Mulligan Stew button and put on your blog, or link the post it takes you to facebook, email to friends--however you want to get the word out. 

All those fabulous prizes mean a LOT of people have given generously, so that the giving might be multiplied.  I hope you will help make sure the Mulligan Stew leaves all the families and children at the table filled to overflowing with love!

Much love to you all this week.



 

Valentine's Day Deux

so cute I had to share it twice. 

Today is our second Valentine's Day.   Mainly because of the traditional Vintage Homeschool Moms Valentine's Day party we will be having at church this early afternoon, for which my kids have been making Valentines all week long.  But then also tonight is the annual Parents' Night Out, where the college ministry at our church blesses us parents by providing an evening of free childcare!  So Dear Husband and I are going to drop off the kids and go do something fun. 

So it seems that, just like First Christmas Second, our Valentine's Day Deux is going to be the day with the most holiday fun. 

But too, by the end of the day yesterday, I had my heart all back in a good place.  I was seriously not trying to gripe or complain about my life or my kids--really and truly, I am always ALWAYS aware of how incredibly blessed I am.  But I was heart-struggling yesterday, and was being vulnerable about it, and now kinda wish I hadn't.  I shared what I did intending to encourage anyone else who was not having a great Valentine's Day--a day that is set up to sabotage love and just wound hearts in many families--but realized later it was coming off as one big pity party. 

So let me reassure anyone--it was a fine day.  The kids were not perfect, I was blue (it is that time of the month, so that *might* have been part of it. ahem.), the house looks like the beginning of a hoarder's episode, the long-running allergies are starting to really wear at me, I started Lent already feeling like I was letting God down (more on THAT later)--and really, it was a fine day! 

And that's what I was trying to say in that last post, trying to encourage anyone feeling as discouraged and heart-weary as I was not to think about the way we wish things would be, and instead be free to look at our messy lives and forget the bad stuff for a moment and just be blessed by whatever good we have in them.  Whatever love we have received.  To forget our ideals for a minute and just give love however we can, right at that minute. 

Because it does not matter how much around us is less than ideal--whatever little bits of good we can see around us are Good, and worth celebrating.

However we wish we were being loved at any given moment--whatever little bits of love we can see pointed in our direction are Love, and worth clinging to.

And I have the perfect way--for me, and maybe for some of you--to get some more Good and Love into your day, in honor of St. Valentine.  There is a family, who you can read about here, who is trying to bring home two orphans with dwarfism from China.  They seem to be the ideal family for these children, who will likely spend their lives in an institution if they are not adopted.  They are doing such a fun fundraiser--for every donation, they add hearts to a wall in their house, and share photos of the wall on their blog as they get more and more donations!

Except as of this morning, they are not getting many donations.  In fact, they shared with obvious heartache that yesterday--on the day celebrating LOVE--they only received one donation, so only one heart went up on their wall.  Oh, can you just hear all those little hearts crushing under that blow?  All the adorable children in the family who cut out pretty hearts in anticipation of all the LOVE they would receive from people who care about children being placed in families?  They are little kids who want to share love with two little unloved kids in China--of course they assumed lots of people would have love to share in response! 

My own children recently helped with an enormous undertaking, cutting out paper hearts for an art project on one wall of our church coffeeshop:

photo credit: Abbey Coffeelounge on facebook, instagram

It took my three girls and five other girls--plus help from me and my dear Becky--several hours to make all those hearts.  It was fun, but seriously a lot of work.  So I can really see in my mind's eye all those cute little girls and boys in this family so eagerly getting out their scissors and paper and making those hearts, cutting with concentration to get them just right.  Then being so excited to get to put them on the family wall, each construction paper heart meaning one more person who loves them, who is joyful in sharing their excitement, meaning one step closer to bringing their new siblings home. 

And instead, yesterday--the day of Love--I imagine all those little hearts crumbling, all their hand-made paper hearts lying forlorn.

So if any of you readers did not get your fill of love yesterday--please consider GIVING love today!  It will make you feel so good!  It will redeem a little bit of Valentine's Day for you--at least it does for me!

And if any of you were blessed with an abundance of love yesterday--please consider SHARING some love today!  Your blessings will increase!

xoxoxoxo

politics and peace on fb

OK, I just have 15 more minutes of peace and quiet before I release the kids from quiet time, and still have half a cup of tea left. . . .

So, random thoughts for this election week:

In case anyone wondered, politically I am staunchly Independent (i.e. don't like to be lumped in with any particular party, since I don't 100% agree with any of them), but lean Libertarian. It is funny to me that I have friends who are conservative, Republican, Democrat, Leftist--and most of them talk to me as if they assume I have the same political convictions they do!  Seriously--we will be chatting and they will throw out comments that are totally offensive, like suggesting anyone who votes ____ is a complete moron, and the whole time I'm thinking, if only you knew.  I think only a few people really know how I label myself, and all the better for it.

Esp. on facebook.

I'm really happy the election is over.   I was actually really surprised Tues night and woke up a little depressed Weds morning.  I had debated getting political over here, but decided facebook was bad enough. ; )  I try not to post divisive or partisan things on fb, but did post things that I hoped would encourage people to look past stereotypes and lies (yes, the media was all PANTS ON FIRE for months there, about pretty much every candidate and every thing you could possibly vote on) and vote with honesty and reason and open-mindedness and thoughfulness. 

Like the following pic, which I posted with this comment last week:

I absolutely love seeing people vote with their hearts and minds, regardless of what they have voted in the past, or what people expect of them. I wish our political system would encourage more free thinking and less herd mentality!

pic attributed to Chris L. Lotto on fb

And one of my fb friends, J, kinda got all up on me for the small print in the pic, and so I clarified:

I shared the pic not to claim support for any particular stance on Israel, but because I so seriously enjoy people thinking outside of the two-party political ghettos it feels like Americans are constantly being shoved into. I don't care who you vote for, and have friends who are voting all kinds of ways--I just loathe people voting unthinkingly along party lines. So anyone demonstrating they are using their own intelligence, reason, and best judgement in their voting earns my respect, even if I disagree with their final choice.

It was a little sad for me having my friend get all tense about me seeming to support the message behind the photo instead of just enjoying its wonderful, unexpected juxtaposition of cultural expectations.  This is not the first time J has been critical of my suspected politics on fb, and this guy was someone I was really good friends with in high school, and whom I always wanted to think I was cool.  I guess now I realize he thinks I am definitely uncool. ; )  So, a little sadness there--I liked him sooooo much (not in a romantic way at all, esp. since he had a crush on one of my BF's) and he used to like me, and I have such good memories with him, and now somehow we ended up fb friends and it's just awkwardness. 

As I processed that in the shower last night, I realized that he is one of those people who, politically, I will never agree with--not because of who he votes for, but because he has the "elite" mindset that drives me crazy, and has only contempt for those who vote on the other end of the spectrum from himself.  He will likely never, ever be able to vote anything other than his party line, because he is so entrenched in it.  That is the only political perspective I have a hard time respecting--because what good is your mind, are your values, if you don't actually wrangle with the things and parties you are voting for or against?  You end up just a tool of somebody else's mindset and values.

And my friend J is also elitist in his religious views, and cannot fathom how any least-bit-intelligent person could believe in God, esp. the long-ago-proven-dead God of the Christian faith.   He is probably completely astounded and disgusted whenever I mention God or Jesus.  I even mentioned Satan on my fb page the other day--and afterwards cringed at how J's eyes would likely bug out of his head at that.  I mean, you can roll your eyes at mention of God and snort with disbelief at mention of Jesus, but to actually mention Satan, and suggest he is active in the world?!!  File that one away under religious WACKO. 

And I realized, again with sadness, that if we knew each other IRL, maybe we would not be friends.  I have some UBER lefty friends on fb, who I do see IRL, and their political postings (pants on fiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrreeeee) made me start to skip over their posts and not even read them.  But yet, I noticed those friends were some of the first to "like" photos of my kids, or to say positive things about non-political shares.  And I knew I was purposefully doing the same to their non-political shares--or even the political ones that I could get on board with.  We were all affirming the person behind the political views, and affirming our ability to separate the two.  

  attributed to Erika Metzler Sawin on fb

That's the way it should be. 

My moment of political transparency and vulnerability now: I honestly do not understand why our nation re-affirmed confidence in our President.  The future of our nation looks so dire from here, and the things that make so much sense to me (fiscal responsibility, for starters) just don't seem to be a part of what is important to half of our nation.  (Susan, if you read this, I am requesting a phone date soon.  I don't know who you voted for, but know from our past conversations that you can see both sides almost better than anyone I know, and can help me see the logic--the hope.)  I'm not upset our President won the re-election if a (teensy-weensy) majority of our nation believes he is the best person for the job;  I'm just surprised that he did and they do and would like to understand the vision for our nation that the other half of the country sees we are headed towards.  I'm sure they think it is a good place.   

The cynical part of me also does not remember so much "let's all get along" stuff posted on fb when George Bush won his re-election.  I just remember all the negativity.  I'm tempted to think some places on the political spectrum tend to encourage more graceful losing than others. . .

But I am trying not to be cynical.  I'm trying to love people despite how they use politics as a tool of disunity, of belittling, of downright self-righteous malice.  I'm truly glad there is so much good-spirited stuff being shared around facebook now.  I hope those who have bruised hearts will be encouraged.  I hope those who have been bullies and badgerers will soften and even repent.  I hope I will never forget how I feel at this moment, and have greater compassion for my friends who may have felt this way in 2004 and who might feel this way in 2016 (; p).  I hope I will not be afraid to be myself on fb, on this blog, in the world, but also that God would show me how to be an instrument for His Good and Perfect purposes in all those arenas.  Esp. to be a voice of love and reason!

So, whoever you voted for--good for you for voting!  Thank you for having a voice for what you believe is best for our country.  I'm so glad you come by my little cozy blog, and I hope you always feel welcome and safe.   

(And anyone who wants to leave a comment, please feel free!  But please also do so in the spirit of that last image. : )