Very special auction ends tonight!

[The following message is from Amy Rainey.  See you over at Princess Penny's auction before midnight tonight!]

Greetings!

Can you believe that another week-long auction is almost over? Only hours remain in our Princess Penny auction.

Have you been outbid? It is time to check things out. There are still some item with no bids, or with extremely low bids. Many items are still way below their retail value.

It is not too early to start thinking about Christmas gifts! Make your money work hard. Find a lovely gift, and help a precious girl come home. She matters!

Thank you in advance, my friends!

 Be Blessed,

 Amy Rainey

--------------------------------
My words now!  I can't believe how quickly time is flying by.  I did not realize the auction for Penny would only be one week long--and so I have not told you about it! 

This auction is one blogger's way of *doing* something to help special needs orphans get into their forever families.  She organizes the auctions, and then wonderful, generous people give things to help raise money for the adopting family, and then other wonderful, generous people place bids on those things.  I too have participated in several of these auctions, both in donating and in bidding.  There are some really nice things at very low prices still available!  I did early Christmas/birthday shopping the last time there was one, and got things like a custom-made baby quilt for my baby niece Sweetness, a handmade little girl apron for her big sister Spice, two handmade doll afghans (just right for the girls' American girl dolls, which can go in their Christmas stockings), and some homemade, pure vanilla extract in adorable little bottles for MIL and me!  So please go look at the things offered--maybe you will give yourself  the gift of getting some gift buying done while you are blessing Penny's family!

This auction is very special to me for another reason too--we have something very special up for auction in it.  : )   As you know from all the photos I have posted over the years (like here and here and here) my mother is amazingly talented, and the vintage-style smocked dresses she has made for the girls are beautiful.  Each girl has so enjoyed having special things made just for her by Grandma, and I have enjoyed seeing my girls in such cute things.  But now we are outgrowing most of the hand-smocked things, and I am starting to pack them away "for posterity."  Hopefully they will do well in storage under our house, and hopefully my girls will someday grow up and have daughters of their own, and will be glad to have those loving memories and beautiful things for their own girls.  But I have no guarantee of any of that.  I have been taught over and over through so many things in life that we can't hold too tightly to things.  There is a good chance that my best efforts at storing them will not lead to the end I hope for--we could have a house fire, or flooding, or I don't know what could happen, and so I can do my best to preserve them, but I can't count on having these beautiful, meaningful things forever. 

In other words, I can attempt to store up my treasures here on earth, or I could try to store up more treasures in heaven.  

So about a year ago I asked my mother if she would mind if we donated one of the dresses she made for my girls to help bring home an orphan girl into her family, and she graciously said yes.  So just last week as I was going through our "heirloom" bin to pack away things recently outgrown, I chose one dress that I thought others might like and would bid on.  It was made for Sunny, and worn by all three girls, but only to church, and so it is in excellent condition still.  It makes my heart sing to give something I love to God's "Kingdom work."  Not only will the money raised help bring a little girl to her new family, but whoever wins it is going to be so excited to give it to her daughter or granddaughter.  So I *could* have kept the dress, and hoped it would safely store for the next 20-30 years until there is a granddaughter old enough to wear it.  But now, in giving the dress to bless others for God's good purpose, it will be worn and loved by who knows how many more little girls! 

If you want to see which dress, and my sweet Happy modeling it, I encourage you to stop by the auction.  Who knows--maybe you will see something else you want to bid on too!  : )

Just be quick, because the auction ends tonight!

p.s.  If you see me bidding on something, please feel free to outbid me. In fact, please outbid me.  It would make me so happy. : )

Mulligan Stew--it's a party!

I just want to take a moment and encourage anyone still coming by my blog to please go to Julia's blog to read about the latest "Mulligan Stew" she is hosting to benefit special-needs orphans.  You can read all about it here.

Let me tell you why this giveaway is so close to my heart:

--Special needs people are often looked down upon in any culture for being culturally "on the fringe" of acceptability.  You know what I mean.  All people are uncomfortable with the unknown, and most of us don't get to interact with people with disabilities all that much, so when we are with them we aren't sure how to act, what to think. 

--Special needs people in some cultures are viewed so negatively and ignorantly that they are locked away in institutions as infants because of their differences--and unless they are adopted, will spend the rest of their lives there. 

--Another way to say that:  they will die there.  How soon before they die there is really the only variable.

--We cannot fully comprehend what life is like for those kids.  But if you have twelve minutes, please watch the video linked to this post and you will have a pretty good feel.  You will also hear the pain in the voices of a family who loved a boy from one of those institutions, who were on their way to officially being his parents, but who did not make it in time.  Due to lack of love and care, their son died only months before he would have been rescued.

--So you have orphans.  That's rough enough; they are pretty low in the hierarchy of who the world deems is valuable.  Under them come special-needs orphans.  And under them, at the very bottom of the whole heap, crushed and suffocated by the burden of unlove the world places on them, are the "Lost" children, those who are condemned for life death in conditions we would expect to see in a prison story set in the dark ages. 

--Julia's heart is for these "Lost" children--the most very "least of these" we could imagine.  Those are the children who will benefit from your participation in the giveaway.  Some of them have families coming to get them; some of them languish in unlove, moving ever closer to the age at which they will be unadoptable and will be sentenced to miserable lives deaths in those institutions.

So!  I know some of you who come by and read this blog also have big hearts, and care about helping those in need.  I know some of you take your Christian faith seriously, and would see this as another chance to obey God in "caring for orphans and widows in their distress."  And I know pretty much all of you would enjoy a chance to win a fabulous prize!  And let me tell you, there are some REALLY great prizes to be given away!  I even donated one. : )

(Last Fall I made a donation and entered the giveaway to help the Salem family bring home Hasya and Kael.  And I was so surprised that I won a $100 Target giftcard!  Whoo-hoo!  I was a little worried about money last fall, so it seemed like such a gift from God, which I could use for Christmas gifts.  Well, all circumstances working together, I did not end up doing so.  Then a month or so ago I decided to make a special trip to Target just because I needed some things I could get there, and I thought I should use the card before I lost it.  After getting to the cash register, I could not find the card!  But upon getting home, immediately remembered where I had stuck it in my purse--for safekeeping.   I started to wonder if the card was meant for me, or if it was meant to be passed on, to increase its giving--and when I saw this post of Julia's, I knew what the answer was.  So, in honor of Darren, I gladly offered it to Julia.  It's a special card, even *signed* by the fabulous Adeye, who I know would be so glad to know how the blessing just keeps going on. : )

So please go see!  Please look at the faces of the children who would be blessed by you.  Please donate and spread the love however you feel led.  Even $5 is something.  Don't forget, what matters is whatever we do. 

Whatever we do.

If you have a blog, please consider sharing!  You can copy the Mulligan Stew button and put on your blog, or link the post it takes you to facebook, email to friends--however you want to get the word out. 

All those fabulous prizes mean a LOT of people have given generously, so that the giving might be multiplied.  I hope you will help make sure the Mulligan Stew leaves all the families and children at the table filled to overflowing with love!

Much love to you all this week.



 

Finishing First Christmas, and When (the Civil) War Hits Home

So, I spent my blogging time for two days writing a long, sentimental post about our First Christmas this year, complete with photos from this and past First Christmasses.  And then last night when I went to finish it and post--something happened and it all mysteriously vanished into the void.  I would be really bummed about the wasted time and lost effort--except I have so many friends and family members who are starting out the New Year with horrible cases of the flu, or with children in the hospital, or having family members recently passed away, that I will consider a lost blog post and a minor quarrel with my husband (completely unrelated ; ) getting off easy.

So instead of trying to recreate that post, I'll tell you about one of the Christmas group gifts to our children that I have gotten a lot of chuckles over, both before and after the children opened it: boy Barbies.   You see, the girls inherited a modest collection of lady and little girl Barbies from my childhood and from their cousins Emily and Sarah, but they have never had any Ken dolls or little boy dolls.  So this Fall I noticed that Sunny in particular would do her best to dress some of the ladies, those with the shortest hair and less made-up faces, in the most masculine of the ladies' clothing and pretend they were men.  (Rebecca, your Marie Osmond doll from our childhood was the "man" most often!)  So I decided the girls needed some men, to make "real" Barbie families with.  I did not want to buy new Barbies, because they are expensive, and because I really am trying to avoid buying plastic toys, and because my kids would be completely happy with dolls in good used condition--but two pleas on freecycle did not score me any free used ones.  So, I hit eBay, and after a good month of optimistically bidding low (and therefore not winning--even used on eBay those dolls are expensive!), finally scored two Excellent Used Condition dolls and two New In Box dolls--having to get new because I wanted brown-skinned men too, and those are harder to come by. 

Smiley also got his first "dolls" this year, and when I started researching GI Joe action figures on eBay, LOOK what I found:

Johnny Reb and Billy Yank!  What an awesome way to wrap up a semester of studying the Civil War.  (You can even find General Grant and General Lee GI Joes on eBay--if you have the $ to throw down for those!)

I wrapped up the North and South GI Joes in one box for Smiley, and then the other male Barbies in a box for the girls (along with plenty of EUC Barbie babies, since you know once all the women have men, babies will follow ; ).  And as I did, I could see with my mind's eye how my kids would likely, enthusiastically, play with them all, what with our recent immersion in the Civil War and all. . . . Poor Malibu Steven--your world of fun and leisure is about to drastically change:

photo credit

Sure, enough, within minutes of opening the Barbies (the very last gift opened), poor Steven and the other brown-skinned Barbies were forced into slavery and bossed around by Plantation Mistress Barbie (her husband, Johnny Reb, was away fighting in the war).  Marie Osmond became a woman passing as a man to spy for the North, and my old long-shorn Skipper played a Union drummer boy (because she was too young to enlist).  Other Barbies were Quakers who did not believe in slavery and wanted no part in the war  (because, yes, Mother, we watched "Friendly Persuasion" at the end of our study unit).

This is the kind of imaginative schooling-fueled play my kids do all the time.  I have heard it is not, um, usual.  In fact, I was telling my (fellow homeschooling) friend Sara about all this yesterday, and she laughingly encouraged me to blog about it--because she thought what my kids did with their Barbies was such a refreshing change from the normal princess stories most Barbie dolls are trapped in by our culture.  I guess she's right--but without public schooling and TV and radio and magazines, we are pretty out of the loop of what everyone else does with their dolls, and this all seems perfectly normal to me.

Although on a more serious note for a minute--when I watch my kids re-enacting in their play (whether Barbies, or dress-up, or backyard romping with friends) the things I am putting in their minds through school, and documentaries, and books, and reading the Bible, it makes me awed at the responsibilty of that.  They truly are little sponges, in their hearts and minds. 

Here's a photo of the girls, late afternoon on First Christmas, still in their pajamas (and the new handmade pj bottoms from my Mother) and surrounded by newly opened gifts, already immersed in all things Barbie:

I so hesitate to share photos of my house when it is not looking its best--but let's face it, that's pretty much all the time, and this shot so perfectly summed up the contented close of First Christmas.  And shows you all just how big my living room/master bedroom suite is, esp. with a Christmas tree. : )

There's actually more open floor space between the living room and kitchen, in what we call the entry, where Smiley got out his trains to enjoy some of the new train track he received:

And I might as well wrap this up with a few more photos from our gift-opening on First Christmas, originally intended for that lost post (too many of my photos turned out blurry, there in the dim light of the living room when I did not have the right setting on the camera.  So that's why I don't have any more good pics of the two eldest!  These are just the few that turned out halfway decent.):

Thanks for the ornaments, Grandma! (She's standing on the trunk that you see in the Barbie sprawl pic, which had been pushed over to our bed during the excavation of gifts from  under the tree, in case you were wondering why she appears so tall.  I'm taking these photos from my comfy seat at the foot of my bed.)

Smiley loves this adorable jacket my mother made him for Christmas--I'll have to get a good pic of him in the whole outfit and post it. : )

The kinds of sweet and simple handmade gifts the kids make for us and each other.  (It's a, um, colored snowflake? Paper doily? Whatever--it took some serious time and creative effort to make, and that's the real gift.)

You Can't Lose Christmas.

Just saying hi.  I look back at that last post, and think of all the things I had really wanted to write about, ideas to share about how I am choosing to make this holiday season more purposefully focused on what Matters.  And then I sigh.  Because somehow this holiday season has completely run away from me.  In fact, I don't even really have time to blog now, but we are getting ready to head "over the river and through the woods" and could not bear the thought of not wishing all of you Merry Christmas at least!

I'm also going to leave you with a blog post that has meant a LOT to me over the past couple of weeks.  I have been so busy, and stressed, and there was a period when my kids were acting horrible to me (that's over, thank the Lord!) and I was grumpy and getting blue that I felt like we were missing out on what Christmas is all about--and my mind would keep going back to the title alone, and I would immediately feel better.

You STILL can't lose Christmas, Ralphie.

Of course I don't necessarily take the idea the same as Christine, who is writing about living life fully with kids "from the hard places," but I take it with my own gloominess, too-high expectations, and desire to parent always out of love and compassion.  No matter how my kids treat me, they can't lose Christmas.  No matter how bummed I might be feeling that moment, I can't lose Christmas.  Christmas is Christ With Us.  You CAN'T lose that.  It is available to everybody, no matter what. 

And then the idea became helpful too after the national tragedy of two Fridays ago.   No matter what evil may be happening in the world, we can't lose Christmas.  In fact, the evil in the world is exactly why we need Christmas. 

So, whatever might be stressing you, or upsetting you, or depressing you, my dear Reader--

YOU can't lose Christmas.

Merry Christ-mas to each of you!  May God bless you and yours the rest of this season!

best of facebook 12/4

Attributed to "I love being a mom" on facebook.

 

 

weekend update--Me and MIL

MIL and FIL came to visit this past extended weekend.  Overall it went as well as could be expected, and so much better than in years past.  MIL has been living out so much grace the past two times we were with them, and so we have overall had nice times, and this time there was just a little more underlying negativity that made the overall tone of the weekend just a little less comfortable.  I honestly think MIL does not even know she does it.  Well, I mean I think she says things on purpose, because she thinks she must (to teach us, to show us truth, or to send a message), but I don't think she realizes how the overall effect can be so negative.

Examples:
a.  Commenting on how I am eating as much as four people at lunch one day.
b. After Merry plays a beautiful song on the recorder, saying, "You should learn the clarinet." (that one cracks me up, because MIL meant it in a good way, that Merry was good enough on the recorder that it was time for her to move up to a "real" instrument. But still! ; )
c. Sunday breakfast I made a fancy meal, forgetting MIL and I had chatted about other possibilities the day before, which it turns out she was expecting.  So, she channelled her disappointment into commenting over and over how the kids clearly did not like the food (omlette with sauteed mushroom and onion, with sun-dried tomatoes and a fruit salad and toast), because they were not eating very quickly.  Finally I said, "Would anyone else like to disparage the food?  If so, how about you get it out all at once." But I did it in a humorous tone, and everyone laughed.  (And FIL sweetly complimented the food.)  And then MIL went right on back commenting how the kids clearly did not like the food.

See, I think MIL means what she says, but really does not mean to sound so. . . mean.  So I try to listen to the words behind the words, you know?  I try to hear the expectations (or expectations unmet), or the desire, or the hurt, or the insecurity, or even the compliment behind the sometimes hurtful or even just confusing words.  And then I try to take that understanding and do things differently--because the goal is to love MIL in a way she can recognize. 

And MIL was really making an effort to be loving too!  She let me do most of the cooking, which is a real turn-around from the past.  It is not that I want to be in charge in the kitchen--I actually don't care if she cooks while she is here, because, hey, I don't have to cook, and it keeps her busy--and busy is good--and because she likes to be in charge, and that is one arena I don't care if she takes charge of.  So its not like I have ever indicated I don't want her in the kitchen, and I like working side by side together.  But she was--on her own--stepping back and letting me have control of the kitchen and meal planning, which was a big sign of her trying to respect me and my role in my home.  So sweet!  And she would come in and ask if she could help and what I wanted her to do.  Again, so sweet!  And once when she asked, I said there was nothing to do, but I would love it if she sat and kept me company, and so she did and we had a nice time chatting about GMOs while I finished up.   And she would set the table and other helpful things, but the point is not who did what, but that she was trying to be loving and helpful and respectful, and that was such a nice foundation for the visit.

And another way MIL was showing love and restraint and respect for me was in NOT cleaning or trying to do my laundry.  I really don't like her to do these things, because we had a lot of that at the beginning of our relationship, and it always ended up implying judgement of my inadequacies as a homemaker, a wife, a mom, etc.  (Whether or not MIL intends that, her words and actions in the past have led me to feel that way.)  She even commented that she would be doing those things but knew I liked to do it myself--now that is spoken love, people!  I made sure to affirm that was true and that I appreciated her consideration.  And then she had the brilliant idea of attacking my mending bag (which was SO MUCH SMALLER than it used to be, because I have been so much better about making a point of mending, but which still had about seven things in it.  MIL mended most of them, and after I was done cooking I joined her, and we finished the whole bag. What a blessing!)

And MIL and I had several true "girlfriend" moments too, like shopping at the Trade As One "boutique" set up at our church last weekend, and we liked the same scarf and bracelets (and MIL bought me a beautiful scarf as an early Christmas present). And then another day getting ready for the girls' musical production of Peter Pan, and we were in a rush getting the kids out the door to make it to the final dress rehersal, so I finished brushing and re-doing my hair and then putting on some makeup in the ladies' room at the church, and MIL borrowed my lipstick and eyeliner to put finishing touches on herself.  I love it when we have little moments of simple solidarity like that!  And then another time we went looking at the Santa Cruz Goodwill, and she found a great suede skirt for $3 that made her really happy, and we had fun.

But sometimes those great girlfriend moments end up making me too easily hurt the next time a negative thing is said.  I have to find that fine emotional line between being so open (and thus vulnerable) in my loving, and then being too easily bruised--which makes me then want to withdraw further, out of self-protection, which is not loving--and keeping myself reserved, which is safer but which I think MIL even picks up on and which, if I am conveying it, then builds up barriers between us. 

So hard! 

They left yesterday, and I spend the afternoon drinking tea (having not had a single tea time all weekend) and hanging out on the computer catching up on blogs and doing other business.  And I read this post by sidebar favorite Welcome to My Brain, about something called the "locus of control" and how realizing where your emotional focus is can help you identify where you are setting yourself up for feeling out of control, or needing control, or beliving the lies (which I have written about before) that somehow you are not in control of your own feelings and actions.  Some highlights for me:

We need other people. They feed us and they support us. Yet, it is not healthy to rely on other people to be the source for feeling good about ourselves or making a positive choice. These other people may not always be there. They may have their own bad day. In reality, if our self-esteem is only based on others and the things that happen to us, then it's really not true, positive self-esteem.

Sometimes we find our sense of acceptance, validation or worth from our spouses, friends and even our kids. There's nothing wrong with feeling these things when our spouse compliments us in a room full of people, or when our children say, "Thanks, Mom. I love you," or when our friends send us an encouraging email. The big indicator is how we feel about ourselves in the absence of these things. . . .

What I'm realizing, as well, is that this affects every thing I do and every relationship I have. If your locus of control is more external, it affects how often, how strongly and how long you will have negative responses to things. . . .

I am sure you can see how this directly relates to the thoughts and feelings I am processing after this visit by my in-laws.  I think this is one area in which MIL and I have a lot in common, so we are unintentionally allowing our own faulty views of "locus of control" to negatively impact our relationship with one another. 

So, I hope God will shed more light on this whole idea in my mind and heart as we prepare for a whole holiday season with DH's family.  I want to keep growing, to keep learning how to lay down myself--but in a healthy, safe, God-led way--and focusing on truth and doing my best to live out grace and love and all those wonderful things. 

Oh, and I need this with my kids too, as they are having the traditional post-grandparent melt-downs!  : ) 

I encourage all of you to read the linked post--such good food for thought.  And may you be having a blessed week!

politics and peace on fb

OK, I just have 15 more minutes of peace and quiet before I release the kids from quiet time, and still have half a cup of tea left. . . .

So, random thoughts for this election week:

In case anyone wondered, politically I am staunchly Independent (i.e. don't like to be lumped in with any particular party, since I don't 100% agree with any of them), but lean Libertarian. It is funny to me that I have friends who are conservative, Republican, Democrat, Leftist--and most of them talk to me as if they assume I have the same political convictions they do!  Seriously--we will be chatting and they will throw out comments that are totally offensive, like suggesting anyone who votes ____ is a complete moron, and the whole time I'm thinking, if only you knew.  I think only a few people really know how I label myself, and all the better for it.

Esp. on facebook.

I'm really happy the election is over.   I was actually really surprised Tues night and woke up a little depressed Weds morning.  I had debated getting political over here, but decided facebook was bad enough. ; )  I try not to post divisive or partisan things on fb, but did post things that I hoped would encourage people to look past stereotypes and lies (yes, the media was all PANTS ON FIRE for months there, about pretty much every candidate and every thing you could possibly vote on) and vote with honesty and reason and open-mindedness and thoughfulness. 

Like the following pic, which I posted with this comment last week:

I absolutely love seeing people vote with their hearts and minds, regardless of what they have voted in the past, or what people expect of them. I wish our political system would encourage more free thinking and less herd mentality!

pic attributed to Chris L. Lotto on fb

And one of my fb friends, J, kinda got all up on me for the small print in the pic, and so I clarified:

I shared the pic not to claim support for any particular stance on Israel, but because I so seriously enjoy people thinking outside of the two-party political ghettos it feels like Americans are constantly being shoved into. I don't care who you vote for, and have friends who are voting all kinds of ways--I just loathe people voting unthinkingly along party lines. So anyone demonstrating they are using their own intelligence, reason, and best judgement in their voting earns my respect, even if I disagree with their final choice.

It was a little sad for me having my friend get all tense about me seeming to support the message behind the photo instead of just enjoying its wonderful, unexpected juxtaposition of cultural expectations.  This is not the first time J has been critical of my suspected politics on fb, and this guy was someone I was really good friends with in high school, and whom I always wanted to think I was cool.  I guess now I realize he thinks I am definitely uncool. ; )  So, a little sadness there--I liked him sooooo much (not in a romantic way at all, esp. since he had a crush on one of my BF's) and he used to like me, and I have such good memories with him, and now somehow we ended up fb friends and it's just awkwardness. 

As I processed that in the shower last night, I realized that he is one of those people who, politically, I will never agree with--not because of who he votes for, but because he has the "elite" mindset that drives me crazy, and has only contempt for those who vote on the other end of the spectrum from himself.  He will likely never, ever be able to vote anything other than his party line, because he is so entrenched in it.  That is the only political perspective I have a hard time respecting--because what good is your mind, are your values, if you don't actually wrangle with the things and parties you are voting for or against?  You end up just a tool of somebody else's mindset and values.

And my friend J is also elitist in his religious views, and cannot fathom how any least-bit-intelligent person could believe in God, esp. the long-ago-proven-dead God of the Christian faith.   He is probably completely astounded and disgusted whenever I mention God or Jesus.  I even mentioned Satan on my fb page the other day--and afterwards cringed at how J's eyes would likely bug out of his head at that.  I mean, you can roll your eyes at mention of God and snort with disbelief at mention of Jesus, but to actually mention Satan, and suggest he is active in the world?!!  File that one away under religious WACKO. 

And I realized, again with sadness, that if we knew each other IRL, maybe we would not be friends.  I have some UBER lefty friends on fb, who I do see IRL, and their political postings (pants on fiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrreeeee) made me start to skip over their posts and not even read them.  But yet, I noticed those friends were some of the first to "like" photos of my kids, or to say positive things about non-political shares.  And I knew I was purposefully doing the same to their non-political shares--or even the political ones that I could get on board with.  We were all affirming the person behind the political views, and affirming our ability to separate the two.  

  attributed to Erika Metzler Sawin on fb

That's the way it should be. 

My moment of political transparency and vulnerability now: I honestly do not understand why our nation re-affirmed confidence in our President.  The future of our nation looks so dire from here, and the things that make so much sense to me (fiscal responsibility, for starters) just don't seem to be a part of what is important to half of our nation.  (Susan, if you read this, I am requesting a phone date soon.  I don't know who you voted for, but know from our past conversations that you can see both sides almost better than anyone I know, and can help me see the logic--the hope.)  I'm not upset our President won the re-election if a (teensy-weensy) majority of our nation believes he is the best person for the job;  I'm just surprised that he did and they do and would like to understand the vision for our nation that the other half of the country sees we are headed towards.  I'm sure they think it is a good place.   

The cynical part of me also does not remember so much "let's all get along" stuff posted on fb when George Bush won his re-election.  I just remember all the negativity.  I'm tempted to think some places on the political spectrum tend to encourage more graceful losing than others. . .

But I am trying not to be cynical.  I'm trying to love people despite how they use politics as a tool of disunity, of belittling, of downright self-righteous malice.  I'm truly glad there is so much good-spirited stuff being shared around facebook now.  I hope those who have bruised hearts will be encouraged.  I hope those who have been bullies and badgerers will soften and even repent.  I hope I will never forget how I feel at this moment, and have greater compassion for my friends who may have felt this way in 2004 and who might feel this way in 2016 (; p).  I hope I will not be afraid to be myself on fb, on this blog, in the world, but also that God would show me how to be an instrument for His Good and Perfect purposes in all those arenas.  Esp. to be a voice of love and reason!

So, whoever you voted for--good for you for voting!  Thank you for having a voice for what you believe is best for our country.  I'm so glad you come by my little cozy blog, and I hope you always feel welcome and safe.   

(And anyone who wants to leave a comment, please feel free!  But please also do so in the spirit of that last image. : )
    

Boots again! Fashion opinions solicited!

So, some of you might remember last year at this time, when I wrote about looking for a pair of new, every-day winter boots.

I still don't have any.

Let me explain.  (Because I have a long-drawn out story for every topic.)

You see, Fall is somehow always my busiest time of the year, and so when MIL emailed with her sweet offer of getting me boots, I was delighted, and immediately started looking--but just didn't have much free time to do so, and had to even figure out what I really wanted in a boot to begin with.  So I looked and looked and thought and thought, and think now, one year later, I am finally ready to choose a pair.

I know.  I take some things just a little too seriously.

But really--good boots are a lot of money!  So if I am going to throw down a couple hundred bucks on boots (or ask MIL to), they had better meet all my needs, look great, and make me happy when I look at my feet.  (And if they are subtly Steampunk, that's the icing on the cake ; ).  I only have so much room in my closet, and certainly don't want a pair of boots dominating the real-estate if they are not worth it.  So it was important to me to research carefully, to find something that would meet my needs and that I would be happy with for a long time.

Here's the funny part--here in CA, winter weather means cold rain.  Guess what I have worn for at least the PAST FOUR YEARS for rainy-day winter gear? 

Without socks, because of course they would get wet.  So for FOUR YEARS I have had cold, wet feet all winter long as I was out and about--but it was kinda practical because they would dry fairly quickly once I was indoors.  And I would carry a pair of socks with me in my purse, so if I went to a friend's house, for example, I would slip on the socks when I got there and my feet dried off and then I would be warm and cozy.

Clearly not an ideal situation, though.

Now, I *did* have a pair of boots, from when we lived in CO, that I wore for years and years.  At first I wore them almost daily in the winter, then when the weather necessitated them, then got to the point when I only wore them to church and when we visited my in-laws, since those are the times bare feet in wet crocs will get you really weird looks and negative comments.  But those boots were not waterproof, and they were ugly.  No, really, I thought they were ugly when I bought them in Colorado about 12 years ago--but at the time I was just beginning teaching at the U of CO, Denver, and needed a pair of good winter boots that would get me through the snow but also be attractive enough to wear in the classroom.  I could not find any I liked, but needed something, so I settled on an ugly pair that met the basic needs.  They were kind of like black lace-up combat boots, except not nearly as cool; something about the toe shape was just a little too conservative, and they had a pebbly texture that was not my favorite.  They cost me something like $50 and at the time I thought that was a LOT of money.  So I wore those ugly, utilitarian black boots for twelve years, and frankly--to my disappointment--they were holding up great and probably could have lasted another twelve.  But when I realized last year that I had long been chosing to have cold, wet bare feet over wearing those boots--I decided I had gotten my money's worth out of them and could justify having a pair that was actually waterproof and that I liked. 

So I gave them to Goodwill.   I hate holding on to things I don't even like--that was so fun and liberating!  Release them to the world, to let them go bless someone else.  : )

And now, with my Dear Husband's blessing, I get to pick out new waterproof boots that I will actually like and wear!

Best of all, MIL offered AGAIN to buy me a pair for my birthday!  Whoo-hoo!

I spent last week making sure I knew what was out there, so knew what my options were, and just ordered some to try from Zappos.  It was soooooooo fun going back to my old posts about Steampunky winter boots and choosing some to try.  But I had to be practical and make sure I was getting boots that were actually waterproof (not just cool-looking) and boots that would work with the clothes I already own (and not some fantasy wardrobe that lives in my head).

Here are the ones I tried, and how it went:

The North Face Camryn

These were attractive enough, and very nicely made, but frankly nothing special.  They were also half a size too small, at least, I could not even get my foot in them.

Merrell Captiva High

These were cuter, and also nicely made, but also too small.

Merrell Captiva Strap

These were my favorite of the tall boots.  They were sized much better, and they were quite comfortable in my regular shoe size, albeit with a medium weight sock (I am kicking myself that I did not think to put on my usual thickness of winter socks to see how that affected the fit).  They fit me perfectly at the ankle and the calf, and looked soooooooo cute.  And in this color they are totally neo-Steampunk.  And part of the reason I really like the svelte ankle design is that I have thin legs but rather stumpy ankles--it was a thrill to see boots that actually made my ankles look attractive. ; )

The North Face Bryn

These boots were my second favorite.  They too were well made and comfortable (in those medium weight socks at least), and absolutely adorable, esp. in this "weimerander" color.  The color is not as Steampunk, and would not complement my wardrobe quite as well, but they are still neutral (so in theory would go with anything) and the color was just so perfect for the design I would probably not like them as well in a different color.  BUT I found they do some in a more classic steampunk brown at the company website.  So that would in theory be an option.

I tried all those high boots just because they are SO DARN CUTE and because I wanted to.  They are all waterproof leather, well-made, and some of them are not even overly expensive (you can find them cheaper at other sites than Zappos, but I love to use Zappos for trying things because they are so great and fast with free shipping and returns.  So if I find what I want elsewhere for a much better price, I will return to Zappos and reorder them from the cheaper place, factoring in shipping in the price of course; but over the years I have bought enough from Zappos for my husband and kids that I don't feel like I am taking advantage of their generous try-them-out-on-us policies).  But the problem with those cute high boots is that they are not as practical with my current wardrobe.  They work best with leggings, tights, and skinny jeans. 

I do wear leggings sometimes, and would be glad to wear tights and skirts with them--but my skirts are mostly full and long, and that's not what I tend to reach for on a rainy day, you know?  I do not own skinny jeans--I am thin overall, but proportionally hippy, so the skinny jeans I try just don't fit at all--if they fit my hips they are too baggy in the butt and/or too loose in the waist.  And I imagine even I did find a pair that fit right, it would accentuate those hips and not in a good way.  So, I am a boot-cut jean gal--I don't care if that style is no longer the trend, they look good on my shape.  BUT as you can imagine, you can't wear high boots with those kinds of jeans.  Even if you can get the leg of the jeans over the boots, they make the jean leg stick out all funny where the top of the boot is.

So, already knowing that would be an issue, I tried the only other pairs of even remotely steampunky waterproof leather boots on Zappos:

Pikolinos Le Mans ii

Except I realized after I ordered them that these two pairs of Pikolinos are not truly waterproof; they are waterproof treated, which would be better than what I already have, but not as good as I would want.  Also, Pikolinos are expensive because they are very well made shoes--but still, if I can get a pair that is truly waterproof and cute for less $. . . it just does not seem to make sense to pay for anything less than what will meet my need.

But both of these boots were so comfortable the moment I put them on.  The black pair did shift a little when I walked, and I am not sure if that would be a problem during actual use or not. (I remember as a kid having rain/winter boots that lefted at the ankle subtly as I walked and tugged at the heel of my socks as it did, so that by the time I had walked to school the socks were bunched uncomfortably under the arch of my foot.  I have no intentions of going there with any of these boots!)  I liked the tread of the black boots best--seemed would give the best traction on slippery sidewalks--but the brown pair fit my ankles PERFECTLY and were so perfect under regular jeans--you never saw the top of the boot competing with the leg of the jean, even when walking and bending the leg. 

Pikolinos Brujas

I also liked the low buckle detail, which peeked out from under the jean hem--I am not a fan of boots that are completely boring when you just see the toe and heel under long jeans.  But the main issue with these is that they are not truly waterproof, so I sent them back too.

Which leads me to the final pair I tried, and which I thought was the winner:

La Canadienne Camilla

Waterproof leather.  Very nicely made.  Good traction on the heel.  Comfortable with medium-weight socks.  Nice ankle shape that works well with the jeans I own.  Attractive suede and buckle.  They look boring when mostly hidden by jeans, but look cute with leggings and skirts.  They are a brand I have grown to admire and which I believe will serve me well for many years to come.  They were also the most expensive of the bunch, by far, but I really wanted to try them, so I did.  And I really liked them. 

And then I found them for almost half the price, in last year's version:

And I like the smooth leather almost as well, and it is a tad more steampunk just by the leather tone.  Score!  So I showed them to MIL, she approved, she gave me the money for them, I returned all those boots to Zappos and ordered these--and actually found the best price on Amazon.com, so I still got free shipping AND used reward points I had been accumulating from my credit card all year so that THE BOOTS WERE TECHNICALLY FREE.

Yippeeee!

But then they arrived yesterday, and I wanted to cry.  Because I excitedly put them on--and the boots were too narrow on my left foot, actually squeezing the bones and hurting.  What the. . .?!  Then I realized I was wearing my heaviest weight winter socks.  They are not THAT much thicker than my medium-weight socks, and I have several pairs of these that I love to pull out when the weather is cold and wet--but they are just thick enough to hurt with these boots.  Now I am kicking myself that I did not try on the boots with my heaviest socks in the beginning. . . and it is also likely that this pair of boots is built just a hair more narrow than the others, since they are different seasons and different leathers. . . . but I switched socks and the boots immediately felt more comfortable. 

But now I don't know what to do.  Here is my dilemna:

--I think the boots are wearable with the medium-weight sock, which is an acceptable compromise; but I still feel like the left foot does not quite have the room it should.  It is not at all painful with the thinner socks, but feels snug. I would likely be able to wear them just fine. . . but what if I try them out and about and they start to hurt after a few hours?  That is my fear.  Because then I would not be able to return them, and the goal of this pair of boots is that I can just slip them on and wear them all day running around town on any given winter day.  They HAVE to be comfortable. 

--Then again, with a little breaking in, these boots might end up being totally fine, for all day wear. I might not be able to wear those thick socks, but I need some new socks anyway, so will just get more medium weight and save the thick for cozy-at-home wear.

--Amazon will take the boots back, but I can't exchange for the next size up because it is unavailable.

--I would have to make a straight return, and I am afraid I will lose those reward points in the process.  (maybe not, but things like this have happened before--and I might not know until after I make the return. . . if I don't have to take the chance I would rather not.)

--Since the boots ended up being FREE, with the use of those reward points, and since MIL gave me money for the boots, I actually have the freedom to try these and see if they work, and can get a different pair later if I need to. . . (and I am sure I could re-sell them on eBay and get a decent bit back even if they are worn. . . )

--Or I could even go ahead and get one of the tall boots I tried and really liked, because I know I would wear them and like them, and then I would have an acceptable pair that work with my jeans and a fabulous pair that work with everything else. . . Also, I do not have any  nice black shoes at all for cold weather, so maybe should get a pair of black boots/shoes, and maybe one of these pairs of tall boots I liked I would like just as much in black and would well meet that wardrobe desire. . .

--I don't have much room in my closet, esp. not for multiple pairs of boots (and it is really ironic to go from having no boots at all to having multiple pairs) but it would be worth it not to be spending any more time or energy thinking about finding the *perfect* pair of boots.  Don't get me wrong, it has been very fun to look at boots, and imagine what boots would work with my clothes best, what boots are practical and yet a wee bit steampunk. . . I have thoroughly enjoyed the process.  But the rainy season has begun, and I just want to have a pair of boots now, darn it!

And last night I even dreamed about boots.  In my dream, I had found two pairs of leather boots that I had "forgotten about" tucked away in storage.  They were both kinda Dr. Marten style, pretty clunky and tough, and one pair was tall and the other one was a low pull on. The tall pair was green.  The low pull-on pair was red.  They both had black clunky soles and black detailing.  They were actually much more like something I would have liked in college than anything I would wear now.  But I remember the feeling in the dream of being SO HAPPY just because I had a pair of waterproof winter boots and did not have to worry about it anymore.

Which means it is time to get this all resolved and end the drama. 

This is where I need all of you!  PLEASE leave feedback and let me know your opinion!  I am specifically trying to decide:

--what to do about keeping or trying to return the "Camilla" boots I got.

--whether or not I should get a tall pair of boots, either instead of the "Camilla" boots, or in addition to.

If I decide to get a tall pair of boots, then I will be soliciting more advice on which ones.  But these two questions seem like the logical first to address. 

I formally solicit your advice!  Please be liberal with your words and helpful intentions.  Remember this is all about a pair of casual, practical, every-day winter/wet weather boots.

(After we decide this issue, I'll gladly tell you all about the dressy boot success I had earlier in the year, which I have been meaning to share for a long time!)

Thank you all! I look forward to your comments.

Best of fb: Those Moms

attributed to Money Saving Mom on facebook.

 

dedicated to Jessica

Minnie Zephie makes her fashion debut

So, sometimes when I am not blogging much over here it is because life is dictating otherwise.  But sometimes it is because I am blogging over at one of my other blogs, The World is Our Classroom or Minnie Zephie's Steampunk Treasure Trunk, both of which appear on the right-hand sidebar, in case you are curious.  TWIOC is a blog started by a fellow homeschool mom that has become the online forum for our local "Vintage Homeschool Moms" group.  At certain times of the year I am very busy over there organizing and orchestrating events and projects.  Any of you readers who homeschool are welcome to check it out--we post homeschool humor too, and I often write out projects step-by-step, so anyone interested can do them yourself. 

Minnie Zephie is my sorta-secret alter-ego.  She is way more fun and fashion minded than anyone who knows me in real life would ever think of me. ; )  And today she debuted in her first personal fashion segment over on her blog.  I thought some of you might enjoy it!

Hope you all had a good weekend.  : )

can't get this k-pop out of my head

I highly recommend you double-click to view on youtube.  Full screen.  Sound up.

Ok, this post falls entirely into the guilty pleasures category.  Or perhaps confessions. 

Yeah, both. 

Remember this post I made, about a video I stumbled upon on youtube while researching for our homeschool "Korea camp" last Spring?  I had never seen ANYTHING like it, and was mesmerized by the crazy outfitting, the Asian eye-candy, and everything about the video that boldly declared its Epicness.

Um.

I found myself going back and watching it again.  And again.  And clicking on other songs by this band (and its many spin-off bands!).  And realizing that this song and video are excellent representations of a whole genre of music that a large percentage of the world listens to, that I never knew existed. 

It's called "k-pop," and I am sure you can wiki that if you really want to know more.  I'm not here to enlighten you, just to tell you it is highly addictive.  Once you start, you can't stop.  Now, I don't spend hours watching k-pop on youtube, but let's just say I have spend at least a handful of evenings browsing.  And I don't like all of the k-pop out there, but I have watched a good sampling of it, and really like Super Junior, the band at which I was first poking fun in my earlier post. 

I was totally wrong--they ARE really good dancers; the heavy, chopping editing in that first "A-cha" video just made it hard to tell.  They are really good singers; the video I have linked above uses some auto-tuning for effect, but these guys don't need it, because they sound fabulous live.  (Or at least in live recordings on the web. ; )   The guy I mentioned thinking was the cutest in the "A-cha" video has the most gorgeous voice, and I now have a little crush:

Kyuhyun! (dreamy sigh)

(And while he's the youngest member of the group, none of them are as young as they look--he's 24 I think I read somewhere.  This may be a weird 40-year-old mom crush, but I'm not robbing the cradle!)

If you want to hear more of his voice, he has some solo songs on youtube.  They are in Korean and Mandarin, so I have no clue what he is saying, but I don't care--the sound of his voice melts me.

(I'm embarassedly grinning the whole time writing this, just so you know.  And humming "Super Girl.")

Ok, so I did look up some English subbed versions of their songs, just to see if they were as harmless as I imagined, and yes, they are.  They are just as pointless as every teenage pop song, so I think I might enjoy them more for just being able to listen to the sounds of the singing and music and not be distracted by the lyrics.  But if you want to find the lyrics, they are easy enough to find--for example, here is an impressive English version of the first linked song, "Super Girl."

Go ahead.  If you like contemporary pop, you must listen to that first video.  And tell me it's not one of the most catchy songs you have ever heard.  It's become one of my favorite cleaning songs--gets my feet moving!  Only downside is that the girls beg to watch the video whenever I play it, which slows us all down. ; )

Another very cute and catchy song I get in my head is from an all-female k-pop group called Girls' Generation--Here's "Gee":





Tell me you don't want to bob around with a dustcloth with that song going!

The girls' dancing in the video is suggestive, but somehow innocently so, and just so over the top adorable that I don't mind my girls watching. 

(If you want an English subbed version just to see what bubble-gum teenage love lyrics they are, here you go.) 

So there you have it--confessions from a new k-pop fan. 

And now you are more than welcome to tell me you have a secret crush on Justin Bieber or something. 

sitting at the computer all day (yay!)

That's not sarcasm in my header.  I confess I am a wee bit addicted to sitting in front of the computer. I know this because if I have to share the computer, I get antsy, even a little irritable.  It's not like I'm on all day--no, there are plenty of other things that need my time and attention, but anytime I take a break from the usual parenting/housewifery/homeschool stuff I want to spend it at the computer.  I do lots of necessary stuff here on the computer every day--emails, research, etc.--but I also do plenty of unnecessary stuff, just because it is fun and relaxing and a nice mental break.  And plenty of stuff that could fall into the unnecessary category, except that it is good for my mind and my spirit--like recent political readings and my favorite blogs--so I think it's time well spent. ; )

But today, sitting down to make my list for the day, I realized I have so much to do online that I'll likely be spending most of the day sitting in front of the computer.  And I feel a little glee about that.  You see, the girls were at a birthday slumber party Sat night, and were a little crabby after I got them home yesterday (understandable--just part of the fun of such kid adventures!).  And while we started our transition back to school last week, and the kids were doing great with getting back into some semblance of routine and diving into the hard stuff like math, our computer disc drive crashed on Friday--such a drag, because the math program I love uses discs, which means we won't be able to do math today.  So I had already decided this morning would be an alternative homeschool morning--mainly a DEAR (Drop Everything And Read) day.  We'll read and practice instruments and do more reading and do some things on our "finishing up the summer goals" list and do more reading, and I'll consider that a good day of homeschooling.

As for me, I'll make a cup of tea and

[total irony--as I was about to write about how I was planning to spend all day in front of the computer, Happy was reading aloud to Smiley but kept getting stuck enough that I left typing and made myself available to her. Then while I was listening and helping, I figured my hands might as well be busy, so I stripped and remade my bed with clean sheets and washed much of the huge front living room window.  Then after she finished the book, I vacuumed behind my bed, made Smiley a snack and started rice for lunch.  See--THIS is really what a day at the computer looks like! ; ) ]

get myself cozy and sit down for some serious "work" at the computer:

--saw today that our fitted bedsheet has finally worn out and ripped in the night.  We have one other set, so I could remake the bed, but time to find new sheets!  The best deals (and best pattern options) are available online, of course.

--have to finish tweaking and resizing the photos from our trip that I'll upload to facebook for my family members to see.  I uploaded a bunch last night, but have a lot more to do.

--I need to finish researching windows so we can get one ordered for the kids' bedroom.  It was so fun getting going on that project during the Week Without Children, and I want to keep the forward momentum.

--I also need to finish researching lights for the bedroom, since we had to take down the old one when we dismantled the ceiling.  At the moment there is no light in there, and bare knob and tube wires (we put caps on the ends of the wires for safety, but it still makes me nervous having wires where kids could reach them if they really had a mind to--good thing my kids are overall good about that kind of thing), so for logical reasons I want to get that ordered.  Again, you get the best selection and best prices online, even if you figure in shipping costs. (But I always check locally to see if they have what I want before buying--sometimes I find a local place can offer me a price close enough to justify supporting local businesses.)

--and while I am researching lights, OH the pretty things I want to show you!  So I might compile my findings into a blog post.  Or two.  Just for organizational purposes, of course.  (Actually, it would make it easier to compare lights and decide if DH and I could see them neatly lined up, so I might decide to blog about lights.  And maybe elicit a few opinions!)

There are other things I could do online too, but those are the ones that actually need to be done soon. 

So, I'm settling down for a long day of lazy productivity! 

Uh-oh.  The sun is shining this morning--the first morning sun we have seen in what seems like weeks (heavy fog this time of year for us, this past week lasting all day long!).  A beautiful day just might put a wrench in my plans. . . ; )

Ah, who am I kidding.  There's no such thing as a list completed around here--or a day completely wasted.  Whatever we do, my main goal is to love my children fully, and to use my time wisely.  Whatever that ends up looking like.

May your day be beautiful and productive and full of love too--whatever that ends up looking like!

Tuesday morning worship

These are all songs they play sometimes at our church during worship, which I'm singing and dancing (and just a little joyful crying) to this morning:

(Remember to double-click on the image to watch full-screen in youtube)

(ignore the cheesy images and just listen to the music)

This next one that God used to totally minister to me back on New Years when my in-laws were here and I was struggling and vulnerable. I shared it on facebook a short while back, but it has been my favorite song recently, and is totally worth sharing here too:



Ok, listening to this just now again while picking up the house, I was crying and literally jumping and dancing, unabashedly.  This song is where God has me!


These are all songs you might hear us singing at Vintage Faith church in Santa Cruz on any given Sunday.  And I just found on youtube a clip of Josh Fox, our music director, leading worship at a conference with a song he wrote that we often sing at church.  So, this isn't our church (you can find other clips of it on youtube if you are curious) but it is a good glimpse into my usual Sunday morning worship (except for the praying in a middle of a song thing--we don't normally do that).

Or Tuesday morning worship, as it might be.




I would absolutely love to know what music is stirring your heart this week.  Does not have to be a religious song--what is moving you, has meaning for you where you are? 

Blessings upon you, wherever life finds you this day.

the humor just keeps on coming

The homeschool Ryan Gosling humor, that is. 

I have now added the site to my sidebar (and hope it automatically updates like blogs do).  I can use all the daily chuckles (and perspective) I can get. : )

New blog on the sidebar--tiny houses!

While I was researching bedroom options for small rooms, I came upon this blog, and can't imagine why I never did before!  So much eye-candy, so many fun ideas, so much encouragement realizing how many people out there want to live in an itsy-bitsy house, and would even think ours is generously sized! (Well, not for a family of 6, but certainly a young couple with one baby and a few dogs.)

Today's post got me drooling:

Click on this link to see pics of the interior, and read the story.

Oh, how I wish I could park this in the front yard for a guest house!  And the gypsy interior could be SO GORGEOUS as a theme for a little bedroom remodel. . . ; )