why bother writing, when it's already been said, but better?

From Storing Up Treasures:

Just like you and everyone on this earth, I have a lot of areas of my life I need to work on. Some things I am convinced I cannot change no matter how much I try. And other things no matter how much I ask God to take them from me, He doesn't. I often wonder if I am just going to struggle with these things for the rest of my life.

I have mentioned before that I am not a morning person. The issue with this is that I really need to be getting up about an hour before I am. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to do it. When I do finally get up, I am not nice. Okay, I am mean. Really mean. It takes me at least an hour to pull myself out of it. . . .

I let things fester. And fester. And fester. Until I become explosive. I let issues torment me until I literally become unhinged. Then, usually my husband has to listen to me as I cry and vent and cry and vent. It's like I let everything that is troubling me build up into a giant tidal wave until it gets too big to be contained. Then WHAM, it all crashes down. I melt down. I don't know why I do this. I feel like if I dealt with issues as they came up, or tried to talk out my feelings before they fester, I would be far better off in dealing with life and the things it brings.

I can't seem to live in the present. I am always looking ahead or looking back. It is dangerous to live this way. It often makes me feel like I am missing out on the things that are happening right now. I find myself wishing I could redo parts of my life. Wishing I could fast forward parts of my life. Yet, I know I can't. I can't change the past, I can't rush towards the future. It is futile. But, I somehow get stuck here all of the time.

I expect a lot from my kids. A lot. Most likely more than I should. I think sometimes I expect more than they are capable of. I expect them to be respectful, kind, helpful, compassionate, studious, giving...... I could go on and on. And while none of those expectations are wrong, I do think I could offer a lot more grace then I do at times. I think I could let go some of my expectations and be more understanding that they will not ever be all of the things I want them to be. They are kids afterall. . . .



From Welcome to My Brain:

I have had the wonderful privilege of meeting and connecting with several women this summer who are just beginning to homeschool. You want to wrap your arms around them and squeeze the nervousness right out of them. You want to send the just-enjoy-it vibes into them. One amazing mom continuously got tears in her eyes as she talked with several of us who have been doing this a really long time. She wants to relax, but she's terrified. It seemed like the more we said, "Eh ... whatever," the more she tensed up.

There is so much pressure out there. It breaks my heart. Even the "old hat" moms I know who do a set curriculum and a scheduled day, are still so very relaxed and flexible. Yet, starting out, these poor parents are feeling SO MUCH ANXIETY.

It's a perfect reflection of the expectations we have on students, yet that is coupled with how our school systems set students up to fail. Not just fail in their grades, but fail socially, mentally and emotionally. We have these amazing teachers who are doing their absolute best, but also with heavy expectations placed upon them that limit how they can truly connect in their classrooms.

My friend, Annie, recently attended a training with the therapist, Dan Hughes. In a post discussing her experience, she wrote: "Research has shown that people need a sense of safety in order to learn. One of the things shown to decrease a sense of safety is evaluation. (Kind of contrary to the atmosphere in a lot of classrooms - you think?)"

So, these parents who are starting this amazing adventure of educating their children at home, are entering it with the same sense of evaluation. When they should feel like they're running to skinny dip for the first time, they are instead experiencing fear and pressure.


from One Thankful Mom:

 I struggle with lacking joy and yet I know it is evidence of God’s grace to me and that it gives me strength — strength that I desperately need.  Today, when there is nearly no time to write, I choose to be thankful knowing that gratitude sets my mind aright and brings joy.
I love this:
… This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.  Nehemiah 8:10b
And this:
The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Ps. 28:7