Antidote for Melancholy #5

I love blogs.

Yes, I know, I've said it before.  You've figured this out about me.  But when I was moaning in the throes of self-pity last week and complained my blogs were letting me down--what I meant was that the blogs I read not only provide moments of escapism, which any mom needs, and enrich and entertain and grow and challenge me, which we all need, but they also give me Perspective.  And when one is wallowing in self-absorbtion/pity, Perspective with that capital P is exactly what one needs. 

This week, more of my favorite blog writers got back to it, and I discovered some new blogs, and I am so much better for it.

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Julie has been posting faithfully about how Elijah is progressing with his bone marrow transplant, and to see that sweet happy face transformed by pain and weariness. . .

Oh, poor baby.  Knowing of this family's very hard situation right now helps me see my "troubles" in a much healthier light.  And of course the BEST antidote for melancholy is DOING something for someone other than yourself--and thanks to Dorothy, who is helping Julie's family through this hard time (while she herself has been moving her large brood to a new house and preparing to begin their homeschool year! Talk about giving me perspective!) I could send a card and love gift to Julie.  Such a little thing on my end, but anything we do to spread love in the world has a ripple effect, certainly not least in our own hearts.  (If your heart is similarly moved, let me know and I will hook you up!)  And at the very least, his precious face looking at me each day was an excellent reminder of the need to be lifting one another up in prayer.

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Then, remember the story of Vanya (now Ian)?

His family just celebrated his "gotcha day"!  They will be coming back to the States as soon as they finish the necessary paperwork.  Whoo-hoo!

I have loved following along with their story--such beauty and grace and holiness in it, as in many of the orphan stories I am following these days.  One of the few things that is guaranteed to lift my spirits any day.

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Then I just last night came upon a new blog, about a large family who felt God leading them to international adoption of a special needs child.  A child who desperately needs a family NOW.  I am not going to cut and paste the photos of Katarina, because I don't think the tone of this post frames them appropriately--instead, I am going to send you to the blog that led me to their story.  Please go read it, and you will know why I am sending you there.  

Look at the little girl in that crib.  Understand that she is nine years old.  Her condition is not due to any physical reason--just pure insitutional neglect.

A friend of mine and I were just recently chatting and somehow the topic of international adoption came up.  She made a comment that I think reflects how a lot of Americans think about it: she said, essentially, that it does not make sense for people to spend all the necessary money on international adoptions when there are so many kids here in the States in foster care waiting for forever families.  On first thought, that makes so much sense.  I used to think that way too--it just makes sense to take care of the kids here in our own country before spending all the time and effort and resources to take care of the kids in other countries.  I'll share what changed my mind in another post someday. . . but if you read the story behind the link above, you will find yourself face to face with undeniable need for international adoption.

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And then, another new blog I discovered last week when I was hoping for new stories to distract me from the wallowing in self, which now appears on my sidebar. 

This is Levi.

The woman on the right in this photo is Levi's biological mother.  The woman on the left is Levi's adoptive birth mother. 

Let that sink in for a moment.

Just when I thought I knew so much about adoption, I was introduced by this blog to the whole world of embryo adoptions.  Holy moly!!!!  I guess I had heard such things were starting to happen--there has been rising awareness of the ethics of destroying viable frozen embryos left over from in-vitro fertilization procedures, esp. now that many of the embryos have been frozen for ten years or so and nobody knows how long they can be safely stored--but I had never thought about the implications.  But some of the biological parents of the embryos are having qualms about destroying the little lives-that-would-be that they created, and are actually putting the embryos up for legal adoption.  And so there are couples--I assume those who believe that life begins at conception, since I don't know why anyone else would go this route--who are legally adopting the embryos, and committing to growing them in their own wombs and giving them a family.   Woah.

The fuller implications of this hit me when I saw these photos.

From what I understand, Levi's bio mother and bio father used in-vitreo methods to sucessfully have two children--but then the father died several years ago.  I assume Levi's bio mom was understandably loathe to destroy the embryos--the babies--she and her husband had hoped to have together, and so put them up for adoption.  The Hintz family adopted them, and has so far had one viable pregnancy from the adopted embryos: Levi. 

Can you imagine the love and grace represented in the above picture?  One mom who is holding her own biological child, the product of her own genes, the evidence of her and her husband's love and desire, the most likely very painful reminder of her deceased husband and their hopes for their family. . . .  If it were me, I confess I would be thinking, with a heart full of jealousy, This is MY baby.  He belongs to me and my husband. I WANT him. I want them both back.  Maybe she was thinking that a little too.  But clearly her sense of responsibility and care for her unborn children was greater than her own desires, and since she could not carry and rear them herself, she gave them to parents who could. 

The other mom, opening up her home, gladly sharing her child with the mother who wanted him, helped create him, but could not have him.  Not feeling threatened, but wanting Levi's bio mother to see him, hold him, breathe him in, take photos of him with her other children, his older siblings.  In a sense, giving him back.

The beauty, and the pain of it takes my breath away.  


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These, my friends, my sisters, my readers, are some of the amazing things going on in the world around us right now.  Good things, bad things, hard things, joyful things.  The greater the hard stuff, the bad stuff, the more clearly we see the Love that is greater yet.