Teatime with Jesus and other Lenten stories

my cup runneth over. . . image from samovarlife.com*

Sorry for the lacklusting posting so far. . . this illness is not all that bad, but is lingering and sapping all my already meager energy and will to do much of anything. Oh, and did I mention the state of my already meager brain cells? But I have started several posts now, so will draw upon my hallelujah-the-kids-are-playing-happily-out-in-the-fresh-air-after-4-days-of-rain-better-make-the-most-of-it burst of energy and try to finish one. The most logical one to start out with. . . so please forgive my borderline coherence, it is all I can manage!)

Lent was, as always, a really good spiritual exercise.

I firmly believe that everybody in the whole world should practice it: giving up something (or things) that has become entrenched in our lives, maybe a good thing that we are doing out of habit and not enjoyment anymore, or a bad thing that we need to see how much we are depending upon. I have some of both, and that is why I give up so much for Lent--I have to strip down, spiritually, to be renewed.

So this year to the list of giving ups I added two of my favorite pleasures, which serve as daily mood bandaids and mini escapes from whatever household chaos is surging around me: tea and blogs/blogging. They were added to the list of my usual give ups: sweets, movies, all pleasure reading except the Bible and books about the life of the spirit.

And it was really good. Not only did I need that break from habits, but I needed to do without so I could reevaluate the role these things have in my daily life, and why. I told myself I was allowed to still use the internet, just not blog. But of course I soon found myself escaping into an even more attractive and potentially dangerous escape: etsy. So right about the time I was feeling convicted that I needed to just stay off the computer during the day, or at least limit my usage more, or at least not visit etsy, or at least--you see how the backpedaling goes when we are resisting what we know is wise!--it seems God had the same idea. And our computer decided to break and so I was cut off cold turkey! I ended up only being allowed to check email once a day--and nothing else, since I was borrowing D's government owned security cleared work laptop and could not endanger national security (or, more to the point, his job) by browsing crochet shrugs handmade in Turkey or a People slideshow of "Can You Believe She Dated Him?"
No, really--I think it truly was Providential and I completely fess up that while I was bummed, I also was relieved because I knew I was being legalistic and was observing the letter of the law (no blogs, blogging) but not the spirit of it (mindless computer use when I should be more fully engaged with my family, my responsibilities, my God) and thusly the temptation was taken from me.

Thanks, God.

I also struggled with the no sweets thing at first. I kept finding myself in situations where there would be something borderline sweet--like homemade pumpkin bread--in front of me, and I would be actually hungry, and I would sit there debating whether or not it was ok for me to eat it, if I was violating my promise to God by doing so. But I feel like God gave me clarity, and humility for my weakness, and I decided early on that if the sweet was actual food then it was fine. My real give-up was sacred sweets--those favorite delectibles that I hoard from the children and eat only when I am escaping with a good book or blogs. . . dark chocolate covered caramels. . . Marianne's bitter chocolate ice cream. . . Trader Joe's mint semi-sweet chocolate chips. . . . So while it would have been healthier to give up all sugar but fruit, which is what I did last year, this year I just stayed away from true desserts--ice cream, candy, and of course dark chocolate.

And the exercise of going without sweets was truly a spiritual, if sometimes humorous one. One of the first days of Lent I had made Ghiradelli dark chocolate brownies--which you then spread natural peanut butter on, ohhhhhhhhhmmmmmm (wiping drool) where was I--for our monthly Old School Monday gathering over in Santa Cruz and I was pleased with myself for not having any, and not having any of the homemade cookies another mom brought, and was timing everything so that we would get home just in time to eat lunch before I completely crashed from low blood sugar, when I arrived home to discover I had left my purse all the way back at church. Ugh. So I grabbed a cheese stick and filled my travel mug with milk, hoping that would get me back to church and home again, but as I was driving on the highway back to SC I realized my hands were shaking and the dairy was not getting into the bloodsteam fast enough. . . and I looked over to the passenger seat where the brownies were sitting, all warm in the sunshine, with the peanut butter jar open because I had given the girls some on their brownies way back when we first left the church parking lot. . . and I asked God what He wanted me to do, and I felt like He chuckled and gently chided me, "Child, look what I have provided for you at this moment. By all means, eat." So I did, and I made sure to enjoy it too. And it was a really good moment of feeling in tune with God my Father, of whom Jesus said,

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:9-11)

Immediately my mind was off of my own feeble and potentially self-righteous efforts (look how good I am being to not eat those brownies) and back onto the loving God (who is truly the font of all good things).

In a similar way, the one time I ate two homemade chocolate chip cookies because I was low blood sugar and they were the food in front of me, I remembering feeling in tune with God and mentally telling the cookie as I ate it and enjoyed it, "You are yummy, but you have no power over me."

And after talking post-Lent celebration stories with Rosa, I was inspired to plan my first indulgence of tea and chocolate after Lent as a purposeful, spiritual moment: Teatime with Jesus. What better way to end the giving up to God then to share the re-discovery with Him?

Well, that did not work out quite like I had envisioned, since I got sick Easter Sunday and had no taste for either tea or sweets. But this past Sunday I at least was feeling good enough to make some decent tea and have some dark chocolate covered pistacio toffee I had bought just for Teatime with Jesus--and as I ate it, I found myself thinking, "This is good, but nothing as good as You, God."

So I guess on that count my Lenten giving up did exactly what it was supposed to do--give me a little space in my daily world for purposefully connecting with God.



Those of you who practiced Lent this year, I hope it went well for you. Those of you who didn't--well, I encourage you to try it next year! It is not a religious thing as much as a spiritual thing, and even Atheists have a life of the spirit to nurture and grow. (I'm talking to you, Desiree, if you are reading--you were RIGHT to try Lent this year and I'll be right along side you next year, sister, if you are game for another go!) I have already decided to do it all over again next year--and who knows what else will have to go by then?



*and the article that accompanied the pic, about what chocolates and teas go well together, is a yummy read too. . .