The 3rd Annual Week Without Children

Oh, I was so looking forward to doing a lot of blogging this week, and here it is Thursday and I have posted more this week than in the past three weeks combined, but there are still so many things I want to share with you.  You might be wondering why I had such lofty expectations of my blogging this week--well, you see this is our annual Week Without Children.  Yes, the children are currently not with us; they are spending the week with their Oma and Opa up in Chico, attending Vacation Bible School at DH's parents' church. 

MIL was so sweet to send me some pics of their first few days away from us, including this one of their first day at VBS--silly hat day. 

It's something that MIL wanted to do for a long time, and we finally thought the girls were old enough two summers ago.  Smiley was not old enough, to my mother's instinct, but ended up staying with them too, which I was not at all happy about because it meant I had to wean before Smiley and I were quite done, but it just so happened to be the same week as my 20 year HS reunion and girl-friend reunion with my homegirls Mina and Susan, so there was reason to leave Smiley in Chico while DH and I traveled to my hometown in IL and did grown-up things with my growun-up friends who had also left their children behind, and let's just say it turned out fine in the end.  But it was actually a big deal to my spirit and my marriage, and my feelings were too raw to even blog about, which is why if any of you were reading then you did not remember me mentioning anything about it.  So the whole first Week Without Children had a lot of good in it, and fun, and building positive memories, but is still a little bittersweet to recall. 

Last year, the second WWC was the polar opposite.  I had planned a whole list of household projects that are best done without children that I was ready (albeit reluctantly) to tackle, but then in the car on the way home from taking the kids to their Oma and Opa's, DH surprised me with the news that he had gotten permission to work from home all week.  That was a huge shock, and a fabulous one.  I still remember feeling young and mischevious and free and daring all the drive home--we had a whole week before us, and we were fanticizing about everything we could do.  And it turned out to be the most over-the-top decadent week; sure, DH did work from home and I blogged and sipped tea and relaxed, but we remember the week for the Harry Potter movie fest (ending with seeing the last installment in the theatres) and the carryout (spicy Thai food mainly) and the sleeping in and the crazy fun and meaningful sex.  DH and I had never had that kind of completely relaxed week together--it was as good as being away on some lush tropical island, for what it did to my soul and our relationship.

(I remember MIL asking DH what we had accomplished that week when we met them to pick up the kids, and he said, "Nothing."  And MIL said what a waste that had been, to do nothing with a whole week without kids.  She was right--her idea of "nothing" would have been a complete waste of time; but our "nothing" had been exactly the best use of our time.  : )

One thing in particular that I remember doing that week--or not doing, as the case may be:  I barely ate.  I was hungry, and was completely content in it.  See, because of my wonky, unstable blood sugar, I find myself eating when I'm not hungry.  I do this because I am not a good mommy when I get low blood sugar, and sometimes I get unregulated without even feeling hunger.  So, to compensate, I admit a great deal of my day is thinking about food--what have I eaten, when did I last eat, when should I eat to make sure I'm not suddenly low-blood sugar while out and about, what should I eat to best keep the blood sugar consistent, what can I eat that is ready to go, good for me, and that I'm not allergic to, what crap am I tempted to eat instead even though I know it's not good for me, etc.  Not only do I think about food almost constantly, but I eat out of fear of becoming low blood sugar.  Hunger is my enemy in a normal day, because if I am feeling hungry, then my blood-sugar is likely already in a nosedive.  And when I was nursing Smiley I even had to eat a snack right before bed, because if I woke up enough to feel hungry in the middle of the night after nursing him and putting him back down, I would not be able to go back to sleep for the gnawing in my tummy until I got up and ate something.  So, to have a whole week where I did not have to go anywhere, where I did not have to eat until I was actually hungry, where nothing bad would happen if I got hungry and did not eat--very liberating.  And since DH and I spent much of the week in various states of undress, I have this memory of my body feeling so free, so light, so languid.  It is the memory of how my body felt, in perfect harmony--even if it was hungry, it was in peace with hunger--that I remember most.  That is now my mental idea of complete Rest. 

Thinking about it, now, I wonder if my spirit felt so much peace being hungry because food is too easily an idol for me, and by being hungry and unafraid I was breaking some kind of spiritual hold the fear of hunger had on me.  Huh.

ANYWAY, since the first two WWC were so different, it was interesting to anticipate this one, and wonder what it would look like.  DH and I are not the same people we were two years ago, or even last year.  Our relationship is different, our goals are different--so I really did not know what to expect for this week.  As it turns out, this has been a highly productive week.  DH had to work in the office, so I have been largely on my own.  And the freedom actually started last Saturday, since I had a multi-family homeschool garage sale at which I was selling a lot of books in the morning, and so DH took the children up to meet his parents halfway and make the exchange. After the sale, I got back from a hot morning of lugging around boxes of books in the heat and the house was so quiet.  So cool.  So messy from our respective hurried early morning departures!  So even though I really wanted a nap (perfect WWC activity!) I instead contentedly and unhurriedly picked up, did dishes, put away laundry, etc.  I relished in the bustle about my own little house, which was still pretty clean from the in-laws visiting the weekend before.  And then, when the house was tidy, I rested, just being still and letting my ears soak in the quiet.  And my eyes rest on the play of shadow on the ceiling or the soothing sway of branches out the window.  And my mind wander and occassionaly nod off for a moment.  I never did fall asleep, but I rested, and it was good.

The rest of the week, though, has gone so quickly!  So here are just a few of the things I have made a point of doing that are not as fun or feasible with kids:

--watching movies while I eat or have my tea
--DH and I watching movies while we eat dinner, with speakers instead of headphones.
--getting my hair trimmed
--stopping in a few consignment shops--and even finding two adorable but inexpensive new tops!
--matching and buying paint
--spending a few hours talking with employees at the Planning Office and Assessor's Office discussing permits, setbacks, legal nonconforming outbuildings, whee! (ok, a little sarcasm there, but doing it without kids--whee!)
--taking down the ancient paneling in the bedroom--essentially gutting the room to the bare boards and beams (The first step of our bedroom "remodel"--so excited!)
--and then today DH took the day off, and first we went to a dollar matinee of "The Adventures of TinTin, which we had not previously seen, and then we picked up a lovely healthy meal and ate it on our front stoop, and now DH is finishing the hard parts of dismantling the ceiling while I take my tea break.

Oh, but the week has gone quickly!  I had to do other things in there too, the usual dishes and making dinner and watering the garden and several hours of yardwork since we are trying to tame that backyard beast.  And there are other things I wish I had thought of earlier so I could have scheduled them for this week--a dental checkup, and that long-overdue visit to the dermatologist.  But at least I made the calls and scheduled the appointments, so that's a start.  But I still want to once again lay quietly in a quiet house before we get the kids back.  And I want to stop by a harbor and walk around the boats--I never get to do this with kids because I am always constantly watching the kids and don't get a chance just to admire the waves and boats and the color of the sea.  And I meant to take energetic, aerobic walks.  And I want to finish painting the ceiling in the bedroom, and should try to do the kitchen too.  And yes, Rebecca, I have been going through the photos from our trip to IL and plan to upload those to facebook this week.  And I was hoping DH and I could decide upon the new bedroom light fixture and window so we can get those ordered.  And I never did get a nap. . . ; ) 

Well, there's still the rest of today.  And there's tomorrow.  And there might even be Saturday--we're thinking of seeing if we can meet DH's folks halfway and get the kids on Sunday.

I'm thinking we need to squeeze this week for all it's worth. ; )

I hope you are all having a great week.  Please do keep praying for Amelia and her family--I'll let you know as soon as I know something.