fashion quandries Pt 1: ideology

Ok, so earlier this month I was writing about my history with the world of fashion--and my more recent 10-yr long sabbatical from it. Okay, maybe not quite that long, but it sure feels like it at this point.

As I said before, the main issue is that I do not trust my fashion sense anymore, so that even when I see something I think is totally adorable, I don't know if it is considered "in," or what to wear it with (or more specifically, what not to wear it with). The reason I even care: I feel like a frump--an old, out of date frump. Exercise will help me fight the frumpies, and so will taking good care of myself (you know, like showering ; ), but I also just want to get a few pieces of clothing that will not make me feel frumpish when I am wearing them.

I do have some cute outfits, and some are even new to my closet, thanks to hand-me-downs and my Mother inlaw's generosity last Black Friday, when she bought me two sweaters. But I also have had a lot of clothes begging for retirement--things that have been well loved and are now stretched out/shrunk/stained. So I have started letting them go (meaning they will either be shared on freecycle, or will begin new lives as rags!). Which means I have needed a few more items, particularly tops, to fit the wardrobe gaps. So last summer and fall I started looking around, to see how I could build my wardrobe back up and add some more current and upbeat style to my wardrobe.

But it took me until just a few weekend ago to actually buy any new winterish clothes. Why did it take me so long to get anything? First, because I don't get that many shopping excursions without kids. ; ) Second, because I am really, really picky about what clothes I buy.

Because just like in jr. high and high school, I still really, really like clothes. They are not just covering for the body; clothes can be artistic expression, cultural identity, self-indulgence, interpersonal communication, camoflage or spotlight, a form of rhetoric! I am fascinated by the psychological and spiritual side of how we clothe ourselves, and the pure aesthetics of clothing. But I am repelled by the uglier sides of fashion: the materialism, the envy, the overspending, the pride, the negative body stereotyping, the urge to conform, etc. So my enjoyment of clothes is balanced out by my ever-growing desire to not buy into the cultural messages of mindless fasion, esp. needing to have lots of clothes, and the latest styles in clothes, etc. Trying to stay on top of fashion does not at all fit my life values:

--it is not frugal to feel like you have to replace perfectly good clothes just because they are not the latest look.

--it is not green to continually "update" your wardrobe with things made in developing countries that don't have eco-conscious industry, and that might be exploiting their workers to boot.

--it is not moral either. That adorable beaded top at the mall isn't so cute when you think about the potentially six year old Cambodian hands that painstakingly worked each bead. On the other hand, she might be helping feed her family and be glad for the job, so I don't pretend to know what is right or wrong about buying clothes made in such countries, but I do know that treating clothes as disposable reflects our national penchant towards treating the third-world people who made them as disposable too.

--it is not space efficient to have a large, fully accessorized wardrobe (esp. the shoes!).

--it is not healthy for the spirit to care too much what others think about the way you look, or to seek attention/affirmation for your insides by what you do to the outsides.

--it is not ok to squander the monetary blessings God has given us on things that ultimately don't matter, and might even hinder our hearts staying in tune with His desires for us.

But with these values in mind, there is nothing wrong with buying new clothes when you actually need them, and there is nothing wrong with wanting those new clothes to be stylish as well as good quality. In fact, while I am by nature a bargin shopper, I would rather spend more money on just a few well made, good quality items that I really, really like than spend less money on a whole cartload (hello Ross!) of clothing items that are not going to last very long and might be cute but not thrill me to wear them.

Yes, I am a clothes snob. But I believe that buying fewer, but better quality clothes actually saves me money in the long run. Since I am not "flipping" my wardrobe every year, that is! Not everyone feels this way--lots of women would rather get inexpensive clothes every year and get to update their wardrobe more frequently, since the clothes will not last as long, or they can justify getting rid of them fairly quickly since it only cost ten bucks, so it's no big deal that it's not my favorite top, I'll just wear it a few more times to "get my money's worth" and then give it to Goodwill.

But I have learned over the years that the cheaply made things just are not worth it, no matter how "great" a price, or how "in" the look. This standard was reinforced for me this last summer when we went on our first road trip to IL and I had almost no clothing with me on the trip. Well, cute clothing--I had plenty of faded and stained camisole tanks and t-shirts! So when I was staying with my parents, I tried to do some shopping, and remember well going through the entire mall without any luck, trying on ten tops at a time in stores like Charlotte Russe and Wet Seal and Forever 21, and all the clothes that I liked color and style-wise were so cheap in fabric, in worksmanship, and so ill-fitting. So after exhausting all those kind of inexpensive stores, I went into Banana Republic, and the first black top I tried on was so lovely in fabric, and when I pulled it on and looked in the mirror to see me looking years younger and pounds slimmer, I literally moaned aloud in pleasure, Oh, yeah, baby, THAT's what I'm talking about. It was expensive, for a simple top--not even on sale!--but it makes me look and feel great. It was worth it.

So for the past few months I have not spent that much time clothes shopping, but I have just looked when given the chance, and have kept my eyes out for cute things when out and about. I have learned to be patient and wait for the right items, not just buy what is there at the store. I don't have a lot of money to spend or space to store things, and so I have learned to be very dilligent about only buying things that I like, like, like immediately. This means I that if I am not sure about it in the dressing room, I should not get it. Period. Seriously, if I have to stand there and evaluate it and think about it in front of the mirror, then that is a clear sign that it will most likely not be a piece I will wear with complete confidence and pleasure. So no matter how much I like it, I won't get it.

Other bits of life experience/values that creep into my clothes shopping: I really want to buy American made things. It only makes sense to put my money into our own industry, esp. given that I don't know how my money spend on foreign-made items might be harming the earth or its humans. Even better, I want to buy things made locally. Best yet, I want to buy things made by individuals, not companies. I don't know the best places to do these yet, but I am trying to learn.

I really wish I could sew and knit and crochet and do all those self-sufficient things that would not only be frugal and green but also give me another outlet for creative expression. But honestly I admit I do not wish it enough to make a real effort to learn at this stage in life. I am already working towards making my own bread, yogurt, and healthy meals from scratch--for now, with homeschooling and everything else, that is all I can realistically do. So for the moment, I will just try to shop carefully and be wise with the money I do have for new clothes and try to get things that I will wear and enjoy for a long time.

This is where you all come in!

I am looking for some feedback here, so please jump on in and tell me what you think I should do. When I finally got some clothes a few weekends back, the main thing I found were three 3/4 sleeve tops, one black, one blue, one fushia. They were from a local store (yay!) and nicely made (yay!) and made in the US (yay!) and were simple but just what I needed to wear under my new sweaters and replace some of my too-old tops. They were not cheap (oh, well) and only one was on sale. At the same store I found an adorable Free People tunic that looks great over the blue to--and it was on sale (although if you know the Free People label, you know that is not saying much). But I like, like, like all these items, and have worn them constantly since getting them.

But much as I like these new clothing items, they are only the beginning. I have the foundation--now I want to build some style into my wardrobe!

To be continued. . .


*Fashion paper doll images from the incredible artistry of Paperfashion. Gorgeous work throughout the website!