the Thanksgiving wrap-up

There are SO many things on my mind at the moment that I really, really want to write about. My brain has still been expanding with new learning, with renewed vigor and still feels crazy wide open! I hope I have enough time and mental energy this week to get down some of the ideas that have been with me since last week. But for starters, I thought I would share some of what we did over Thanksgiving weekend. (kinda mentally get it out of the way, ya know?)

We spent Thanksgiving Day with D's dad's family, who were gathered this year at cousin Vernon's house near Sacramento. D's folks have not kept up much of a relationship with that side of the family, but started joining them every three years or so for Thanksgiving after they moved back to CA about ten years ago. We were invited to join them all too when we moved to CA, and went three years ago. This year cousin Vernon had a new house that had plenty of room for everyone, including a huge table they made out of their pool table for the Thanksgiving meal. It was a nice time, if a little awkward since we don't really know any of that side of the family and know we will not see them again for another three years or so! But I can sense that some of D's dad's relations genuinely like us, which is always a nice feeling. You know how some people bring out the best in you (and others bring out the worst!); well, at least one of the uncles was so gracious to me and I really enjoyed talking with him and even getting to wait on him a bit, as he has MS and is starting to experience some physical limitations. Which made him even more gracious, which led to me happily looking for other ways to serve him--it was like this little positive cycle of grace in action. Hmmmmmmmm. Now how I can I translate that lovely experience into my life as parent and wife. . . .

When we left Cousin Vernon's house Thurs. evening, we headed straight up to Chico, where D's parents live, and we stayed until Sunday afternoon.

It was overall a really good visit. Those of you who know our history know that things have been rocky with D's parents ever since we first became engaged. It is due to lots of things, and manifests itself in many ways, but let's just say the problems all boil down to the need for more selfless love all around. : ) We have not spent much time with D's family this year, surprisingly, but--in my case--gratefully. It has been nice to have such a breather from negativity and family stress. We saw them this summer in CO for the wedding of D's sister Auntie N--but purposefully chose to be with them as little as possible, knowing it would be a stressful and hectic time, which can lead to unhealthy outbursts in the most healthy of people. So this past weekend was the longest we have been with D's parents since last Spring. While there were still some tense and painful moments, everyone was on their best behavior this past weekend, and D's mom in particular was clearly making good effort.

I am truly thankful for that. Other good bits of the weekend, for which I am thankful, many of which had to do with the excellent effort on the part of D's mom to be gracious with me:

--D's mom taking me shopping Black Friday but not giving me a hard time about us not getting up at the crack of dawn, and keeping her patience and goodwill with me most of the excursion.

--D's mom announcing that none of us need any junk, and so allowing (nay, encouraging!) me to pick out presents for G's birthday (the 28th) and Christmas. (She and I might not necessarily agree on what is or is not junk, but I am thankful for that starting point!)

--D's mom actually giving me TWO compliments, and once acknowledging I was right and she was wrong! Ok, not in those exact words, but close enough! I do not think either of those things have happened to my face for years, if ever. What a surprising blessing!

--D's mom suggesting we be facebook friends. ; )

--all the yummy, old-timey food that I ate all weekend that I did not cook a whit of. ; ) Okay, I did help peel and chop a little, but not much!

--a fridge full of goodies D's parents and grandma generously shared from their kitchens and gardens, and for which I am being genuinely grateful. Esp. the TWO homemade pumpkin pies. Mmmmmmmm.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!


image is of the famous painting Freedom From Want by Norman Rockwell, one of the most amazing realistic artists ever. This painting is one of four in a series, called "The Four Freedoms," all of which make me cry with patriotic thankfulness.