Ok, so I blogged yesterday about the frustration of feeling like such a Grinch during this holiday season in regards to my kids. Those delightful creatures who make up pretend games when they are supposed to be doing their morning routine; who draw when they are supposed to be doing school; who whisper and giggle in bed at night long after they have been told it is time to be quiet. Who are doing cute, sisterly, fun things--and which it feels like I am always mad about and giving consequence for.It is just not fun being the mommy these days. (I'd LOVE to let them play all day and giggle all night! Heck, I'd love to play all day and giggle all night. Can we swap?)
Anyway, I have been feeling like mean mommy a lot, always "spoiling" their fun, always "making" them work, etc.
So I really need to be thankful for these demonstrations that all is not lost, that even when they sass me and let me know I am mean mommy for giving out negative consequences as freely as prizes at a birthday party, they must still deep down know I love them and want the best for them. And that even when they are so flagrantly disobeying and sulking and mad at me, they must still love me.
I think I need to put these up where I can see them, to remind me why I am being "mean" mommy. Because I love them. And, clearly, I am not truly ruining their childhoods. (I think this drawing was made while M was supposed to be doing school. Sigh.)
This one was made on our magnetic drawing toy by G. This was on a day when I made a drawing for each member of the family trying to predominantly use the first letter of their first name. G responded back with her own version. I am cooking, with love, obviously. Do you see the little hearts popping up from each child holding out his/her bowl? Do you see Daddy's hands with bowl reaching into the frame at left?I wish this had not been done on the drawing toy--I would have wisely framed it to hang over the stove. To remind me why I am cooking. Because I love them.
And M gave me the sweetest words last night:
"Mommy, how lucky you are to be so successful in your parenting."
"What do you mean by successful?"
"Well, you handle so many things."
Thanks, Middle girl. I needed that.
Those are just precious! It is really hard to view ourselves through their eyes. I think we'd be surprised about how much better they think we are than we do.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I could never home-school, by the way. I don't have to make them to their schoolwork at least! I would go crazy managing them all day long and making sure they are doing what they should be. We have a snow day today and so they are going to play all day until dinner time when Julia will do her daily homework. I suppose I might make them straighten their rooms, which are a bit of a wreck.
Anyway - I don't know how you do it :)
Oh - I forgot to mention - we are going to make and decorate sugar cookies later. They are in their pajamas playing with Little PEople right now. I offered them lunch if they got dressed and so far the desire to be in pajamas has trumped the desire for lunch.
ReplyDeleteah. . . . i can just picture your peaceful day! and i am only the tiniest bit jealous. ; ) things were not great here today, BUT G got her school list done for the first time in 2 weeks! yay!
ReplyDeletesee, the goal is to train ourselves to be focesed and efficient with school and chores so we can take days off when we need/want them--to have cozy, fun pj days like you had. we used to ROCK the "classroom"--all last year and summer, getting school AND chores done AND lots of time for play, videos, etc. we had freedom to take days off--one of the beauties of homeschool--BECAUSE we were rockin' the rest of the time.
i don't know what happened! so i am just assuming we need to work through this tough spot before we all get too complacent and lower our standards--the death sentence!--and with perseverence it will all be running smoothly again. this too shall pass, right?
thanks for the "precipos" comment--helps me soften my heart yo receive their loving gestures. : )
"precipos" ha! that's what i get for trying to type with one hand.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I have teared up. I can only hope that Annike will one day feel the need to express that she loves me like this. The drawing tool pictures is just PRECIOUS!!! I think this proves that mothers who discipline their children are helping them to feel loved. The kids recognize that Mommy notices me, Mommy cares what I am doing, and Mommy believes I can be better.
ReplyDeleteP.S. You are clearly good at mopping because it was mentioned twice.
Oh, I am sure Annike will be making drawings like this someday! Just you wait. : ) And yes, I agree that kids do recognize on some deep level that they are loved if their world is kept structured by discipline.
ReplyDelete