bad hair vs good hair, proof in pictures--it's all about the containment

Ok, so I just thought I would follow-up my claims in that last post about bad hair with factual proof.  And don't any of you lovely and thoughtful readers go making comments about how my hair looks great and I should see yours. . . all those self-depreciating comments we women usually make, as a way of building up one another and affirming the sisterhood.  Don't worry--I like my hair long, just as it is!  But I have been noticing recently--for about the past 6 months or so--that my hair hanging down looks better in my imagination than it does in the mirror.  In fact, we don't have any good mirrors for viewing oneself in any large amount, which is good for keeping me less vain, but not good for getting dressed on Sunday mornings for church.  There have been WAY too many Sunday mornings this past year when I would arrive at church, stop in the ladies' room of the Abbey on my way in, and be genuinely amazed and appalled at how different I looked than I had imagined I would when getting dressed back at home.  It's not like I looked horrible those mornings--the disturbing thing is just that age, shifting body, and lack of good mirrors have led me to no longer be able to mentally visualize (is that an oxymoron?) how I look with accuracy. 

But the one thing I noticed consistently was that if I was discontent with the way I looked in the mirror there in the Abbey, putting my hair up quickly right then generally seemed to solve the problem.  I have come to realize that I look younger and slimmer and generally more attractive with my hair put back in a bun.  Even a sloppy bun serves the purpose and makes me look less like a bag lady.  With my hair down I automatically look older, heavier, and frumpier.

Rats!  I remember a time when I used to feel young and even sexy with my long straight brunette hair falling down--Merry was a baby when I had my hair this long but without bangs, which is not the best look for my face, but that style was really cool then (think the long straight locks both Rachel and Monica wore on Friends in a later season) and I felt so fresh and attractive.  I think those days are past me.  And yet, I don't currently have any desire to cut my hair--I like having long brown hair, and think at this point in life if I did cut my hair short, by the time I could grow it out again it would no longer be long brown hair but long grey hair!  So I am content to keep it long with blunt bangs--my traditional long-haired style since I was in college.  It works for me, and requires little maintenance--when I don't feel like dealing with it, I just wrap it up in an elastic band. 

And yet, I am a little sad that it seems like I don't look good with my hair down anymore.  But, I am glad I have figured out the whole up/neat vs down/frumpy thing--without the mirrors at home, this will help me reconcile my mental picture of myself with the real thing a little better. 

So, just to show you all what I mean, here are some pics from our last week. 

Bad hair exhibits A and B, on Day Two of the family fest, taken a few hours apart. 

Good hair exhibit C, taken the same day but a few hours later, with Merry and adorable cousin Sarah.  (You can't see my feet but replacing the Crocs with nice leather Dansko sandals when we got to Carmel accomplished for my lower half what the bun did for my upper.)

Bad hair exhibit D, taken Day 5 in San Francisco (where it was quite windy)

Good hair exhibit E, taken Day 5, with my mom, a few hours later. The bangs are still flattened from wearing a hat, but the overall effect is neither messy nor frumpy.

See what I mean?  Ok, sure, the long-hair photos are not nicely posed or necessarily flattering for other reasons (gotta love the exhausted post-hike hunch in Exhibit B).  But I could show you lots more examples from that family-filled week--you will see when I finish the posts of the whole Family Fest--where hair up was pretty much automatically good, hair down was not so much.  This whole photo experience is significant because since I am the one normally behind the camera, it is rare for me to see so many pics of myself from one short period of time.  In other words, my family's cameras were acting as my mirror, and I feel like they validated what I had already been suspecting there in the Abbey restroom. 

So, anyway, I just want to clarify that I DO NOT HATE MY HAIR.  I do not hate aging, or my post-partum body, or even sometimes appearing frumpy.  Eh, that's life.  But I like knowing what looks good with my aging face, body, what I should do when I want to look my nicest. 

And since I don't post many pics with me in them (again, since I'm usually the photographer) I thought you all would like to see what I look like--good hair and bad!  : )

Actually, now that I think about it, you are welcome to say whatever nice things you want in the comments. ; )

P.S.  And, yes, it looks like I am wearing the same top and hoodie and earrings in all the pics.  Ok, it is a favorite top and my new favorite earrings, and I did wash it between wearings.  Just in case any of you were thinking that sometimes changing my clothes might also help me feel more attractive.