Blessings

I just finished reading the posting today of my dear friend who lost her oldest son to neuroblastoma a little over a year ago. She had linked to a heartbreakingly honest and sad and uplifting and convicting blog essay written by another mom who also lost a child and compared it to losing an arm. I was reminded once again of how petty I am (I am one of the women who sometimes complains about how fat-wristed or achy she is, forgetting those are reminders of her two armed-ness). Before we had kids, I was always struck when parents I knew would complain about their kids--they made life sound miserable and I always thought a) well, why did you have them then? and b) I will never have that attitude when I am a parent--if I ever have kids, I won't complain about them. Of course, now I am ungrateful and negative a great deal of the time--although luckily God does not let me get away with doing it unwittingly, and so I hear myself and try to be positive again, if only for the next five minutes, until they do something else to bug me. ; ) But seriously, I am so thankful that God has given me the ability to see myself and mu flaws in this area (and in a couple other)--how much better to be trying and failing at living a life of gratitude and graciousness than never trying at all, than wallowing in the muck of snippy self-centered negativity.

So if I sound too goody-goody in my bio for this blog, and its heading, it is for a reason: I am not trying to pretend life if great and all is as it should be. (reading any of my postings will leave you assured on that point.) I am trying to remind myself of what Matters and what is Good and Worthwhile. I appreciate the glimpses into this worldview I get from some of my dear friends, and from good books ("No one should write a book God would not like to read"--Enchanted April) and even good movies.

And now, one of my blessings is awake and screaming!