eagerly anticipating a worn-out spoon in my Christmas stocking!

I am really excited for this year's Christmas stockings. When D and I first got married, we agreed that stockings aren't just for kids, and so every person in our family has them and we all hang them up Christmas eve and find them laden with goodies (so heavy they are laying under the Christmas tree) the next morning.

It is a good thing my kids don't read my blog. Yet. Spoilers ahead! We have never told them there is a Santa Claus (i.e. we never lie to them, ever) but we have read stories that feature Santa and so they have made assumptions we have not corrected. But if they ever ask, like 4-year-old B did just last week, how Santa comes down the chimney when we have a fire going in the fireplace and the doors closed so tightly, we just say, "That's a really good question. What do you think?" G, turning 9 this weekend, has been asking such questions for years, but just this year really listened to my responses, and has figured out there is no living person called Santa Claus. But she is still eagerly awaiting the stockings and Christmas morning gift-giving (ok, the receiving). She is on her way to figuring out that Santa Claus is a symbol for the joy of giving (and receiving), and for spreading love through giving (and receiving) as a way of celebrating God's gift of Jesus to the world.

The kids don't get anything extravagant in their stockings: new undies, a new book, new toothbrushes or flossing tools, socks, slippers, hairthings, art supplies. Sometimes there is a small toy, but nothing plastic or cheap. Last year they all got different music makers: harmonica (a REAL one), mouth harp, kazoo, percussion sticks (for the baby boy!). And every year each child gets a yellow chocolate banana slug. (It's a Santa Cruz thing.) But the kids are so easily pleased, and rejoice over every little thing--it is really fun to share with them.

D and I fill each other's stockings. I make it easier on D by buying a few things for myself when I see them at a good price and saving them for my stocking. So this year, I know my stocking will at least have some awesome new SmartWool patterned socks (the best socks I have ever worn in my entire life) a Josh Groban Christmas CD, new dish-washing scrubbies, and the Christmas ornament pictured above that I just love for its symbolism. All these things I bought during really good sales, up to 75% off (one of the reasons I shop year round!). The night before Christmas, "Santa" will add his own surprises, like my favorite expensive tea and yummy dark chocolate treats.

Filling D's stocking is hard for me. Most of the things he wants I can't afford, or can't pick out without his help (new car parts, tools, etc.). So I have some basics that he gets in his stocking every year, and that I know he does enjoy: (no spoilers here! ; ) something dark chocolate, coffee beans, and a blue-label Chimay beer (at $7 a bottle, it's a special treat). But I never know what else to add, and confess that sometimes I am just trying to think of something to buy because I want to fill his stocking, not because I know he really wants it. I hate that, although I am careful enough in my shopping so that I think he does generally like the items I get him--but they are not necessarily anything he needed or really wanted. This kind of gift-giving is not at all in line with my ideals, which I have been sharing here recently.

This year we are faced with a very limited budget. As in not really any "extra" at all. So I am very thankful that because I shop year-round we are almost completely done with all our gift-giving. Except for stockings. The girls are pretty well covered--the few things we still need to buy they actually need, like panties and socks, so we will still get those, and of course we want to have the traditional chocolate banana slugs, which are not very expensive.

So it was really just D's stocking that I had been bummed about. What was I going to put into it that would be a surprise, really inexpensive, but--most importantly--meaningful?

And then divine inspiration hit. D and I decided that this year we are going to fill each other's stockings with things from around the house that represent something we love about the other person or are thankful for in the other person.

This idea represents everything I love about Christmas, and fits our budget! It is unique and memorable. It spreads love. It does not generate waste or add clutter. It is free.
And I think this idea will make filling each others stockings so much more fun--no more feeling like I need to buy something just to fill up the stocking, no more worrying what he will like. It may be an old sock, but it will be full of loving meaning and worth a chuckle to boot. I have a feeling this will be a new tradition, even when we have "plenty" of money for gifts.

I am eagerly anticipating Christmas morning and discovering what "Santa" has put in my stocking.

And THAT"s a good Christmas feeling.

One Present = Two Gifts

A few posts ago I blogged about Trade as One, the fair trade organization that helps lift people out of cycles of poverty and abuse by helping them earn a living wage for their hand-crafts. I love this idea so much--what could be better than a gift blessing two people for the price of one? My loved one gets a beautiful and useful gift, and the third-world laborer who hand-crafted the item can support his or her family. Many of the women who are crafting goods for Trade as One are former sex workers; fair trade opportunities like this give them a rare chance to get out.

Now tonight--once again following the link trail from blog to blog while nursing E--I came upon another cool way to make a Christmas gift give twice: the Sugarplum Boutique makes the most adorable hair bows, knitted beanies, etc. and all the profits go to support orphans and help get them into loving homes!*

Look at this beanie--what's not to love?!

And if you visit the website by Tuesday evening, you can enter to win a gift certificate to the Sugarplum Boutique!

*If you are not sure if helping other people adopt kids is on your priority list, please just take a quick peek at some of the blogs I have added to the lower right-hand sidebar, or watch this. There are kids all over the world who will never have families, who will literally waste away in institutions or end up begging on the roadsides because of their "special needs." In America, every orphan, disabled or not, has opportunities and can live a good life--in many other countries, this is just not the case. Many of these kids are saved through international adoption--which can cost up to $30,000.

The Amazing Three Wolf T-Shirt

This one is dedicated to my brother-in-law Chris*:

If you are in the mood for a good laugh, please go visit amazon.com to read the reviews left by people about this shirt. I have no clue how this shirt became a recent pop-culture in-joke, since of course we don't have TV or listen to the radio. Heck, maybe everyone who reads this has already seen the shirt or read its reviews. I am always the last to know. But just in case you too live in a pop-culture vacuum, a few mornings ago a news article mentioned it and conveniently shared the link.

The funniest thing about it for me is that these people used the comment section of an online store as a forum for well-crafted creative writing.

Ok, so it did not get me howling with laughter (that pun's for you, dad) but it got me chuckling big time. While some of the writing is genuinely funny, it is just the whole idea that I find hilarious.

And while you are there, be sure to check out the comments for Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz. As if buying milk on the internet is not funny enough in itself.


*Just be thankful my Christmas shopping was already done.

Blessing of the Week: those who use birthdays as an excuse for extra special lovin' on me

Friday was my birthday, and my husband and three good friends conspired to get me away from the everyday for a few hours, much like they did for my birthday last year. My husband arranged to use the gym and nursery at church for a few hours, and he single-handedly cared for ELEVEN children under the ages of nine. Including baby E and another one-year old. Come to think of it, I am not sure who was crazier--my husband or my friends who left their children in his hands! ; ) I'm just looking back in amazement--from what I heard later, the kids had a ball, and all went well.

And we ladies certainly had a lovely time. But then again: girlfriends - children (except one happy baby henry) + restaurant named "Chocolate" = good time. All the food we sampled was fantastic, but the Venezuelan dark hot chocolate made it a true celebration.

I only wish some of you, my far-away friends, could have been with us!

And, yes, my husband does rock.


Photo of one of my birthday gifts--thanks, friends, for all the well-wishes and warm fuzzies.

blogs: food for the brain, and the heart

Wow. This week as I was in front of the computer while nursing, I decided to branch out from my usual blogs and follow links to see where they would take me. The result surprised me: I don't think I have learned this much in one week EVER in my life. My brain--my poor, muddled, sleep-deprived brain feels like it has swelled with nourishing new information. I feel more lucid, more aware, more awake than before. I love the feeling--I have been so foggy brained for so long (this blog being my only creative brain-workout) and learning new things, and such a variety of things, has brought me clarity.

Here are just a FEW of the things I have been learning about (the ones I can remember right now--ha!):

--Britian shipped thousands of poor children to its colonies, esp. Australia--up until 1967!
--recent statistics of orphans worldwide
--Racism in connection with multi-race adoptions
--David Duke and his attempts to "modernize" the KKK
--modern medical uses for leaches
--Lesch-Nyhan syndrome, a genetic disorder that leads its suffers, mostly male, to severe self-mutilation
--reactive detatchment disorder (RAD)
--facial characteristics of Fetal Alchohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD)
--Screwworms (which can be found in California year round), bot flies and Furuncular myiasis

(wow, this is a pretty depressing/gross list so far . . . let me get on to some more positive)

--churches who are taking stances and putting their beliefs into practive, such as "The Radical Experiment" at Brook Hills Church and a church in Florida who made a public announcement that they would find adoptive homes for any child who was brought to them.
--people who are purposefully adopting HIV/AIDS kids--did you know HIV is considered a "managable" disease in the US now, and kids who get treatment can expect to live long, full lives?
--children rescued from sex-trafficing
--beautiful true story of God providing a way for a family who wanted to adopt
--Rebecca Walker--daughter of Alice Walker (The Color Purple)--whom I had not previously heard of, but who Time Magazine called "one of the fifty most influential leaders of her generation." That's my generation. And she has a blog.
--there are people in our world today who are chosing to live moneyless. Yes, live completely without using money.

My mind feels crazy-wide open!

But the best part of my virtual meanderings has been discovering several blogs that have challenged my ways of thinking about my role in this world, God's call for us to care for widows and orphans, and the beauties of homeschool. I have been challenged and encouraged and inspired in turn as I read what these amazing, joyful, self-sacrificing women are doing to better the world in purposeful, concrete, definitely hard but fruitful ways. I am making a new blogroll over on the sidebar, dedicated to these blogs. If you are ever feeling discouraged as a mom--esp. as a homeschool mom--I recommend checking out one of these blogs. The moms are doing amazing things, but make no pretenses of being "Supermoms" and their down-to-earth, honest writing has given me so much this week to nourish my spirit.

Time on the computer can be a phenomenal waste of time. I am working hard to fend off a rising addiction, which started when I was sick those three weeks and had no energy and just sat in front of the computer much of the time. Once I got well, I found it was hard to re-train myself to get up and moving, so I have been making conscious time-decisions about my computer use. But I feel no guilt whatsoever for all the blog reading I do while I am breast-feeding E--good for him, good for me.

And especially this week, REALLY good for me.

ridiculously proud of myself

This one is dedicated to Dawn.

Last night I went to the fridge when it was time to make dinner, and looked to see what needed to be used up. I have a fair amount of fresh veggies, but none that needed to be used immediately, and none that inspired me.

What was crying out to be used:
--half of a big can of pureed pumpkin (E eats as baby food)
--half a tub of ricotta cheese
--two servings of leftover oatmeal

First response--apprehension. Second response--inspiration.

I sauteed some onion, then added the pumpkin and oatmeal and mashed it all together. Added one can of diced tomatoes and some water and cinnamon, cumin, oregano and pepper. Let simmer for 15 min., then turn off heat and mix in ricotta. Voila!

I called it "Pumpkin Surprise Soup" and the girls really liked it.

I myself thought it was just "Meh," until I added a dash of leftover chili sauce from Charlie Hong Kong's. Perfect! It had a creamy, spicy Caribbean thing going on. D and I ate it after the kids were in bed with a side of tortilla chips and fresh avocado. Mmmmmmmmm.

But I must say, I can't believe I pulled that one off. ; )

You see, while I really can't stand waste, I confess I waste food all the time. I am much better than I used to be, now that we have a new fridge. In the old one, stuff would get lost on the bottom shelves all the time; in our new fridge, which has the freezer on the bottom and "armoire" style doors, I can see EVERYTHING really well. I am no longer losing food, and since it is all right in front of my face, I no longer forget what we have and what needs to be used up.

So now I tend to only waste the last, lingering bits of food--that last helping of baby spinach that gets slimy before I have used up the bag; that last piece of bread that I forgot to put in the fridge and so it molded, etc. But I am trying to be really proactive about those too, and not let little bits linger. This means I am getting creative with how to combine those little bits into something palatable.

Usually the results are quite good, if unusual, like last night's "surprise" soup.

I think I need to come up with a term for this kind of "rescue" cooking. Something like "scavenging". . . but that sounds more appetizing. Or like "refrigerator gleaning". . . something like the concept of "up-cycling" except for food. . . .

Anyone?

Christmas shopping--done by October

I stopped by the Trade as One fair trade "boutique" after the church service Sunday, and as I walked around looking at things, I found myself moaning with pleasure (aloud!) over some of the beautiful things. A gorgeous black bowl from Guatemala, what felt like really smooth stone-like pottery. A ring made out of tiny multi-hued brown beads, with a tassle of beads on top--baby E really liked it too. A hand-tooled red leather journal. An embroidered grey wool satchel. A red beaded bracelet that reminded me of a bejeweled sea cucumber. A beautiful velvety matte black mug from Vietnam with a sea blue crackle glaze inside. Lovely stuff.


I did not buy a thing. And that's because 1) we have no money for extra stuff this year, and 2) I did not NEED any of it, and 3) I had almost all of my Christmas shopping done before the end of October!


Years ago I started looking for and gathering gifts year-round, one way I can try to keep Christmas gift-giving both more affordable and more meaningful. I have succeeded in the more affordable--but have only been succeeding in the more meaningful category for the past two years, I would say. Clearly, if you shop year-round you can get things when they are on sale. But the easy trap I used to fall into was buying gifts that were really nice things at awesome prices--and then later trying to figure out who it would be for. Or thinking, "this would fit so and so" and so buying it for that person with the assumption that she would like it because it was a nice thing, even if it was not necessarily her kind of thing. It is a lot harder, and requires more relationship, to figure out what a person really likes and wants. But shouldn't relationship be the point?


So as I grow in gift-giving experience, I am getting better at choosing gifts--I think. ; ) The recipients are much too well-mannered to tell me otherwise! But, somewhat ironically, I think I have been giving better gifts in the past few years of frugal shopping then I had before, when we had more $ to spend on gifts. Having less money to spend makes me shop more carefully, and I am more apt to be creative and make gifts, or to give simple but more meaning-invested gifts. Or even be completely glad to give gift cards, for those who really do prefer those. I find having to rethink old patterns of spending and giving around Christmas has opened up my heart to new ways of loving people--such as focusing my gift more on them (what they really want) and not myself (what I really want to give them). And giving more gifts of self, and less stuff.


At first I struggled with giving just one simple gift to someone for Christmas. It seemed miserly, cheap, unloving, esp. if I knew the person would be giving me a bigger, "better" present--or multiple presents. It is a tricky thing--wanting to show love to someone with a gift, but not wanting to perpetuate the cycles of guilt-giving and too much stuff. I know there are certain family members who may well feel unloved if they only get one present, even if I make it a really good one--or at least they may feel unappreciated, since they most likely will have given us a pile of presents. So for those people, I try to make the gifts themselves less inexpensive, but more numerous and fraught with meaning. ; ) But for most of our family members, I have just given the simple gift as it is, figuring they will either accept it with graciousness or won't. I am not responsible for how someone receives a gift, just for how I give it.


And I have taken the same lesson to heart myself! I have been learning how to be content with giving simple gifts from a wide-open heart, not feeling embarassed by our sometimes meagre resources--because, actually, even if we had more money, I would still choose to give gifts the way we have been these past couple of years. It is a little about being wise with money, and a little about purposefully choosing to be part of a cultural shift away from over-consumerisn at Christmastime, and a little about wanting to return to more simmple, old-fashioned ways of celebrating that have nothing to do with "stuff." But mostly it is about wanting to give from a focus on love, and receive with a focus on thanksgiving.


Getting to sometimes give and receive such beautiful things--that's called icing on the cake! Now that I know about Trade for One, I may work some of their offerings into my gift plan for next year. I would love to think that the $ we do spend is helping make the world a better place. But even then, I will buy with the same values--gifts that are practical and not just beautiful, gifts that are inexpensive but not cheaply made, gifts that fit the recipient and not just my own shopping tastes. : )

Anyone who is interested, check out the Trade for One website, where you can find out if there will be a Trade for One event in your area, or even browse the goods they offer online.