I'm sitting here in a quiet house--a rarity these days. I think this might be the first time I have been alone in this house for weeks if not months. It won't last long--my Dear Husband took the kids to their martial arts class, which was over half an hour ago, so they're due back any minute. I should be doing laundry or dishes or something, but I sat down instead with toast and tea and caught up on blogs and then watched/listened to old Voice performances on youtube while dressing and sweeping.
I chose someone's "Best 15 blind auditions" compilation, and it was full of excellent music and performances from the US, UK, Holland, Poland, Australia. A couple of the songs at the end got me tearing up--the emotion the singers were putting into their songs, and the beauty in their God-given vocal gifts. The youtube sidebar then led me to some America's Got Talent episodes--a show I don't watch, but occasionally see a video clip of. But this morning somehow the 4 clips I watched all made me cry. The family group of 12 kids performing a variant of "Favorite Things"--seriously, to see a whole auditorium of people charmed and delighted by this super large family was so refreshing, when most of what large families receive is derision and hatred. Then the 83 year old singing a sly, clever & funny song (that is entirely inappropriate for kids, so makes me sad for the state of our nation--that such pieces are now considered family appropriate)--it was the way the judges and audience treated him with encouragement and respect even before he began, just to honor his age and say, "Good for you for trying, old man, even if you aren't any good," but then were so happy when he entertained them so thoroughly. Then the Britian's Got Talent duo of the two boys singing/rapping their own anti-bullying song--and the twist in the song is the bully is the deadbeat dad of one of the boys.
I know--it sounds so pathetic to be sitting and watching such performances and crying. I can't help it--I automatically engage with the feelings of the person performing, or the story behind them being there, or the reaction of the parents or loved ones there to support them, or the judge that starts to cry. The shows are silly, staged, edited for effect and definitely designed to tug at the heartstrings. But none of that matters. The people performing, and their feelings, their longings, fears--those are real. And the way the audience or judges respond often show the best of who we can be--supportive, non-judgmental, cheering, empathizing. Sometimes we get a little glimpse of who we are as a nation, or as people sharing this earth. People who understand one another, if we just stop and listen and see. The audiences that have strong reactions--they didn't mean to. They didn't plan it. But something in a person before them reached out and touched them, and they responded. Sometimes with whole hearts.
It's called engagement. It's a blessed, sacred thing. Even on reality performance TV shows.
OK, so that's all a bunch of nothingness. Except it isn't. I have not been blogging because I have nothing to say, but because I have too much to say. I am feeling so many things these days, and thinking so many things, and probably over feeling so many things, and definitely over thinking so many things. But I would rather be someone who cries at reality TV than someone who doesn't. I am in a place of growing and learning, and it is scary and painful, but really, really good.
I'm also coming off of a 6 day visit here from my in-laws. And I know my emotional response to these show clips is somehow a reflection of that--that I have been feeling and thinking so much that I can't turn it off, even when browsing youtube.
I keep saying I'm going to write again, even just snippets--but I have started so many posts and don't even get halfway through them! I have a story to catch you all up on, and I think I will wait for 2 weeks--for the annual Week Without Children--before I try to write it. But I fear I am rusty at blogging now--so maybe I will try to post a few short things between now and then. We shall see.
But, until then: smile and weep with me, and be in awe of what God can do in the most unexpected places.
I hope you are all having a great month!
On The Road - Oh My!
2 months ago
Oh, how I've missed you. It's so nice to read some of your words again!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that things are going well for you and I can't wait to read about all of these amazing things God is doing in your life.
This post is beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing these awesome links. I loved the adorable musical family. It's funny because right before I came to your blog I was considering what we're going to do about Gabe's violin lessons when we drop to one income this fall. I've been going back and forth about selling my jewelry to be able to afford continuing with them. Seeing that adorable family and the bond they have with music sealed the deal and made me realize that I have to do anything possible, including selling my possessions, to provide that opportunity for my kids. Anyways, just wanted to let you know how your posting reality TV links impacted me today :)
And that last link of the woman (who I can't believe is fifty) singing Alabaster Box (which I had never heard before today) had me in tears also. You're apparently not the only one crying over these today.
The girls are napping and I'm relaxing with my tea. Thanks for entertaining me and giving me lots to think about. Our virtual "tea times" are always so great. I look forward to the day we can have tea in person :)
Jessica, that was the nicest post anyone could have left! I do feel a little more lonely when not blogging, and you just made me feel instantly like we were just a computer screen away. : )
ReplyDeleteI feel as you do that giving kids musical training is a lifelong gift to them. But then again, that family clearly has music oozing out of them, and I bet the kids don't just take lessons--I bet they grew up doing music together. So the flip side might be that you should not feel like you *have* to make music such a sacrifice--that there might be other ways your kids can learn music (even singing!) that don't have to cost so much. Go with your mother's instinct, and do it only because your gut tells you it is worth it, and not because you think that's what a good mom would do. : )
I wonder if I would have had our kids in lessons if our charter school was not paying for them--that would have been expensive over the years! And I took piano lessons for years, but didn't really have natural talent, so while I learned a lot from it (esp sight-reading music, which helped me earn my way into the madrigal choir in high school even as a freshman), the piano playing itself didn't stick with me. And that's ok. So I wonder if I would have paid for the music lessons for my kids, assuming that they would be like me and just have mediocre ability at the end. Turns out, both Sunny and Merry are actually talented, and somehow the instruments we happened to have on hand perfectly suit them!
Hmmmm. Now that we are talking about it, I'm feeling badly that I have let a whole year slip by without music lessons for Happy. She did one year of ukulele, and I was thrilled, but the teacher was just doing it to be nice (same teacher that teaches Sunny guitar and Merry recorder--she also does piano and voice. A talented lady!) and didn't want to continue. So I have to find someone else, and the only leads I have are up in the Santa Cruz mountains, so would be a 30-40 minute drive. Ah, well--now that I think about how she seemed to take to the instrument, and was so adorable playing it. . . I guess now I'm inspired to do it, even if we have to pay out of pocket. : )
I'm so glad you enjoyed the videos and cried with me. Happy Sabbath!