Conversation and dishes

(A representation of me and Rosa in the kitchen; 
photo from Father Knows Best.
Yes, He does. ; )

I wanted to write one more thing about the Conversations I was telling you about here.  You see, I'll bet you will be surprised to hear what my absolute favorite part of the three-part series was: doing the dishes!

When I accepted responsibility for the hostessing and desserts, I decided to try to see if we could make these events as waste-free as possible. (With the goal of all SoulKitchen events eventually being almost entirely waste-free, and then using those examples of successful "greening" to encourage our whole church to strive for less waste at church events.) We are so fortunate, because when Vintage Faith first started, it was in partnership with two other churches--Santa Cruz Bible, which birthed it, and the local First Presbyterian church which opened it's campus to share, and then two years later officially joined with Vintage as one body. It is a really beautiful and rather amazing story of churches behaving well, which I won't go into now, but is important simply because when we moved to the First Pres "campus" (really just three buildings, but they are spacious and flexible, and have tons of storage, which has opened up all kinds of ministry and fellowship opportunites, such as the creation of the Abbey coffee lounge), it was an old congregation with all the wonderful acoutrements of old-fashioned church life, like a huge kitchen and loads of official church dishes!

The building which houses the kitchen (and gym) is in sore need of some renovation and all-around loving, and so the kitchen now sees more use for handy-man storage, an impromptu artists' studio, and various church projects than it does anything involving food. It is slightly sawdusty and the floor is drop-clothed and filthy, and you can't get to some of the cupboards easily for the sawhorses and work-spaces in the way--but under the neglect, it is still a wonderful, large, well-designed kitchen, with so many work areas. It is a space that is heavy with nostalgia--such as the large cupboards that Rosa found out the First Pres women used for raising their homemade bread during the service, so then they would be ready for baking after, I assume to then be eaten during some church-wide dinner or fellowship time.  

 I had never really used the kitchen before--but it seemed like the right time to start.  So on the first night of Conversations, I went early and got coffee cups and dessert plates out of the big cupboards (which had been languishing in disuse so long they had to be wiped clean before we could use them) and stacked them on an industrial stainless steel cart with shelves, and wheeled them all to the rooms where we had tables set up and decorated.  We arranged the plates and cups on the table near the coffee and tea, and had a beautiful, welcoming spread for all the ladies who came.  As women were leaving, they just placed their dirty dishes back on the cart, and then my dear Rosa and I wheeled the cart back to the kitchen. 

(Actually, the wheeling to and fro was the only element of the whole endeavor that gave me any trepidation--since we were wheeling the cart outside, around the perimeter of the buildings  on sidewalk that was often slanted for handicapped access.  As the dishes rattled and bumped and slid in subtle increments, Rosa and I would wince, easily imagining the din of kamikaze crockery smashing on the flagstones, thus signaling the end of our "greening" scheme.  I'll brainstorm a more secure transport for the next series of Conversations--but for this last series, the God who keeps his eye on the sparrow was merciful with us and kept his eye on the saucers too.)

Once safely back in the kitchen, we simply wheeled the cart over to the oversized stainless-steel double-sink, well-positioned on an island to be accessible from either side.  One sink filled with hot soapy water, the other with cool rinse water, and the drainboard on the end--the ideal situation for efficient washing up.  (And one of many thoughtful and practical elements that suggest ladies well versed in kitchen duties were instrumental to its design.)  Rosa and I bustled cheerfully about that big, companionable sink for an hour after each night's event--and each time, it was the best part of the whole evening.  Seriously--she and I are good friends, and share the same desire for our church as a whole to be as healthy and sustainable as possible, so the joint activity was natural and satisfying.  But the Conversations we had together there in the kitchen over the big sink of soapy water--they were so deep and special.  We've known each other for years, and yet those nights we learned so much more about each other--real stuff, important stuff.   

(This was us on the inside.)

It was just Rosa and I, late at night in a church kitchen, hands and hearts and words happily engaged.  And yet, there was something else, something almost tangible, heavy in the air as we worked, something whispering in the backs of our minds.  For our little efforts washing dishes--there in the space we had reclaimed in the dirty, uncherished kitchen--seemed symbolic of the overall purpose of SoulKitchen, which is encouraging women to make spaces in their lives for greater depth with God and one another. 

In fact, our official SoulKitchen Vision Statement reads:

SoulKitchen exists to create opportunities for women to know and love God more. To know, love and invest in each other and to study and dialogue about issues of life and faith.  

It is clear how the whole Conversations events so perfectly fit this vision, as I described it in that earlier post--ahhhhh, so beautiful to see our ministry goals fulfilled, so satisfying to see women's needs and desires being met.  It was literal fulfillment of the vision.  But the time I had afterwards, washing dishes with Rosa, felt symbolic of the spiritual fulfillment of the vision.  Those dishes were like us women, created to be used, created to serve, to nourish, to bring pleasure. If we are not being used, if we are not in service, we lose purpose.  We become purposeless.  We might even feel unloved.  Forgotten.  Unappreciated.  Unfulfilled.  

Oh, yes, and there was even symbolism in the very nature of our embracing the kitchen and traditional "women's duties"--long seen in our recent culture as symbols of female oppression and devaluation--and not fearing some kind of diminishment by them.  It is a sad fact that the very social movements that helped women feel restored to public worth stigmatized and decried their life-giving labors in the kitchen.  Doing dishes, especially by hand--esp. in this age of modern conveniences--is considered more than a chore, more like an affront, an offense--and the women who do them pluckless, self-limiting drudges. 

I know of a lot of women who only use disposable plates at home for all their everyday meals--not because they have real reason to, but because somehow the whole idea of dishwashing is beneath them, not worth their time or thought. (And I also know women who use disposable plates regularly who have darn good reason to--I'm not throwing stones at anyone, least of all a mother who sees disposable plates as the last tenuous thread between herself and the abyss of insanity. ; )   

But how sad, that such a simple and instantly gratifying task has become so denigrated.  And how--because of the same mentality spreading to churches of disposable dishes seeming to be an acceptable (and even preferrable) substitute for physical acts of kitchen service--the bountiful resource of the church kitchen has fallen into disfavor and disuse.  But to what extent might our waste of such material resources mirror an unsustainability of our modern spiritual life--that we are taking our freedoms and blessings too much for granted, and the focus of our service is very subtly ourselves?  That we are missing out on the blessings that come hand-in-hand with cheerful labor done unto the Lord?  That we are missing the concept that any task necessary to the fullness of church life is not a burden, but a grace-exuberant opportunity to participate in, choose even, our daily renewal.     

And what other humble kitchen task but washing dishes could so perfectly reflect the purifying of the spirit by immersion in the Spirit? 

So, for all these reasons, starting off this new ministry to women by freeing those dishes from the cupboards, rinsing them clean, putting them in the worthwhile service for which they were created--it gave the labor such a subtle, beautiful hint of redemption.  Of restoration.  Of rejuvination.  Our few hours of washing and rinsing and drying and stacking were holy service, truly Souls in the Kitchen, so retro and so divine. 

As I wrote in an email to the SoulKitchen leaders later, I can see word leaking out, other women getting a whiff of something intriguing, something appealing, something special happening in the kitchen--and them wanting to be in the kitchen too.  : )  As they should--it's truly the best part of the whole shebang.  Coming to a Conversation, being fed, being heard--that is so good.  Leaving a Conversation with a desire for more, for going deeper, for being fully Used in the service of Love, for seeking ways to give ourselves over to the Spirit for renewal--that is so, so, so, so Good. 

I thanked my fellow SoulKitchen ladies for humoring me in my "green" urges.  I'm not just being on some environmental band-wagon--there is so much meaning in that kitchen time, which we as sisters in service should strive to reclaim as a whole body (body of women, church body), for growing our fellowship and increasing our praise.

I also stressed to my SK sisters that I was NOT saying they all had to have the same values, or think they "should" help in the kitchen.  No guilt or nothing here!  Same goes for any of you women in ministry (or in your homes) looking at your paper plates. ; )  I just wrote all this to share how using one of my Gifts (serving) in combination with one of my personal values (going greener) behind the scenes in service to God and His daughters felt SO GOOD.  That is what I want to encourage in all of us!  Regardless of how (or whether or not) God has already brought us to whatever ministries He deemed fit, He might have special new, little areas for each of us to step out in and really bloom!

My sisters in spirit, this is my prayer for all of you!  Be creative, listen to the nudging of the Spirit, think about what is most important to you, and then do a little something to bless others.  It cannot help but bless you too.

And local readers (Jen, I'm talking to you!)--if you hear about the next round of Conversations, likely happening at the beginning of summer, please consider coming! 

(And nobody worry that I'm going to drag you into the kitchen afterwards. It's an invite only scene--but if the Holy Spirit invites you, you are more than welcome! : )