the drop box

I must find a way to see this movie!  Please watch the preview--it looks like it will be an amazing film.

Valentine's Day Deux

so cute I had to share it twice. 

Today is our second Valentine's Day.   Mainly because of the traditional Vintage Homeschool Moms Valentine's Day party we will be having at church this early afternoon, for which my kids have been making Valentines all week long.  But then also tonight is the annual Parents' Night Out, where the college ministry at our church blesses us parents by providing an evening of free childcare!  So Dear Husband and I are going to drop off the kids and go do something fun. 

So it seems that, just like First Christmas Second, our Valentine's Day Deux is going to be the day with the most holiday fun. 

But too, by the end of the day yesterday, I had my heart all back in a good place.  I was seriously not trying to gripe or complain about my life or my kids--really and truly, I am always ALWAYS aware of how incredibly blessed I am.  But I was heart-struggling yesterday, and was being vulnerable about it, and now kinda wish I hadn't.  I shared what I did intending to encourage anyone else who was not having a great Valentine's Day--a day that is set up to sabotage love and just wound hearts in many families--but realized later it was coming off as one big pity party. 

So let me reassure anyone--it was a fine day.  The kids were not perfect, I was blue (it is that time of the month, so that *might* have been part of it. ahem.), the house looks like the beginning of a hoarder's episode, the long-running allergies are starting to really wear at me, I started Lent already feeling like I was letting God down (more on THAT later)--and really, it was a fine day! 

And that's what I was trying to say in that last post, trying to encourage anyone feeling as discouraged and heart-weary as I was not to think about the way we wish things would be, and instead be free to look at our messy lives and forget the bad stuff for a moment and just be blessed by whatever good we have in them.  Whatever love we have received.  To forget our ideals for a minute and just give love however we can, right at that minute. 

Because it does not matter how much around us is less than ideal--whatever little bits of good we can see around us are Good, and worth celebrating.

However we wish we were being loved at any given moment--whatever little bits of love we can see pointed in our direction are Love, and worth clinging to.

And I have the perfect way--for me, and maybe for some of you--to get some more Good and Love into your day, in honor of St. Valentine.  There is a family, who you can read about here, who is trying to bring home two orphans with dwarfism from China.  They seem to be the ideal family for these children, who will likely spend their lives in an institution if they are not adopted.  They are doing such a fun fundraiser--for every donation, they add hearts to a wall in their house, and share photos of the wall on their blog as they get more and more donations!

Except as of this morning, they are not getting many donations.  In fact, they shared with obvious heartache that yesterday--on the day celebrating LOVE--they only received one donation, so only one heart went up on their wall.  Oh, can you just hear all those little hearts crushing under that blow?  All the adorable children in the family who cut out pretty hearts in anticipation of all the LOVE they would receive from people who care about children being placed in families?  They are little kids who want to share love with two little unloved kids in China--of course they assumed lots of people would have love to share in response! 

My own children recently helped with an enormous undertaking, cutting out paper hearts for an art project on one wall of our church coffeeshop:

photo credit: Abbey Coffeelounge on facebook, instagram

It took my three girls and five other girls--plus help from me and my dear Becky--several hours to make all those hearts.  It was fun, but seriously a lot of work.  So I can really see in my mind's eye all those cute little girls and boys in this family so eagerly getting out their scissors and paper and making those hearts, cutting with concentration to get them just right.  Then being so excited to get to put them on the family wall, each construction paper heart meaning one more person who loves them, who is joyful in sharing their excitement, meaning one step closer to bringing their new siblings home. 

And instead, yesterday--the day of Love--I imagine all those little hearts crumbling, all their hand-made paper hearts lying forlorn.

So if any of you readers did not get your fill of love yesterday--please consider GIVING love today!  It will make you feel so good!  It will redeem a little bit of Valentine's Day for you--at least it does for me!

And if any of you were blessed with an abundance of love yesterday--please consider SHARING some love today!  Your blessings will increase!

xoxoxoxo

love note

Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!

In lieu of blogging, I'm going to share something I just left as a comment on a friend's private blog:

. . . I think today, on a day that is all supposed to be about love and smiling children and chocolate, etc., we have had a morning of disobedience and temper tantrums and time outs and menstruation and it's Lent so no chocolate. . . I think I am hyper aware today of how THIS is love. THIS is my best chance for being the loving mommy I want to be. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow--but God gives us today, NOW, and so this is all I have to work with.  This tired, crampy body. This frustrated spirit. These cheerfully, willfully disobedient children.  I need to be careful to suck the marrow out of today--and every day, for as many as I get. Today is a good reminder, that if I do nothing else today but love my family well, it was enough. : )

I realize that might be a garbled sentiment, but it will have to do.  I'm too close to tears today to write more/better.  Too tired, too hormonal, too sad about some things outside my home, trying not to be down about things in my home--I am a broken, weary, grim creature.  Wait--this is sounding so much more dire than what you would see if you peeked into my windows.  But it's what's under the surface, what I'm willing myself to keep in there, so this day has the possiblity of redemption.  So today, for those of you NOT having a day of bluebirds and roses--

I love you!

And

God's all-encompassing, never-ending, perfect

 LOVE

is all we need!

xoxoxo

Trying not to look around me with despair

Just trying to keep my humor about me, as look around my house. 

For my Mother, and those who don't get the above joke: there was a show on TLC (The Learning Channel) some years back, called "Hoarders: Buried Alive."  We have never had television, but I found it a year or so ago while looking for an instant download to watch on Netflix one day during Quiet Time.  I confess, I was immediately hooked, and over the course of several weeks watched the whole first series (mostly in 20 minute sits, which is about how long it takes me to drink my afternoon tea).   There is something so fascinating about other people's lives, and getting to peek into other people's houses to see how they live.  And of course, since the show is about hoarders, their lives are VERY messy, both literally and figuratively--which immediately makes the viewer feel so much more well adjusted.  And a much better housekeeper. 

And actually, when I saw this cartoon on facebook sometime last year, it made me laugh because it was so true.  After watching "Hoarders" I would look around my house and feel SO much better about it.  I am constantly battling too much stuff--a family of six living in a 550 sq. ft. house?  OF COURSE we always feel like we have too much stuff!  But the amazing thing is that because I am so diligent with getting stuff OUT whenever possible, we can keep taking in more and our home is still livable.  Even comfortable. (When it is picked up and everything is in its home. Which is not that often. Sigh.)  But I don't have a *problem* with too much stuff, you know?   Keeping the stuff from taking over the house is a constant battle, yes, but a battle in which I will persevere, and thus (eventually) prevail. ; )

By the way, there were two other things I really liked about the show.  One, the tone of it is so gentle and respectful of the people who have hoarding issues.  Sure, it is an intrusive reality-TV show.  But the narration is carefully done with a sympathetic, even compassionate voice-over.  The experts in the show who are brought in to help the hoarders are always so respectful and considerate of the feelings of the hoarders and their families.  People are shown in their full fraility, and the show does not shy away from devestating loss and mental illness, but it overall comes across as desiring to understand and help, not to exploit. 

The other thing I liked, which always made me cry, was that the point of the show was Restoration.  It tried to restore habitats of course, but more importantly, it tried to restore people to healthy living.  Most importantly, it always aimed to restore people in their relationships with loved ones.  Because usually the stuff surrounding the hoarders was a physical manifestation of their interior thoughts and feelings--specifically the walls they built up between them and others. 

Anyway, I realized a while ago that there was a second season of the show available on Netflix, and the other day I decided to put it on once again for Quiet Time as I had my tea and snack.  I watched a whole episode all in one sitting. But something unsettling happened--instead of leaving the viewing feeling relieved about my own home and housekeeping skills, I found myself a little panicked.  For some reason, this time I was not reassured--instead, I felt like I was seeing tiny glimpses of how the apathy and procrastination I have struggled with for the past month might have been the same for some of those hoarders, at the beginning.  Sure, I have reasons for letting the housework go--busyness, weird illnesses reoccuring, and now the usual seasonal allergies have me in their grip--but the lethargy and the excuses just keep building.  I'm hiding from the world already--I call it my annual "hibernation"--and maybe that is ok.  But maybe I need to be careful that I am not digging myself into a pit (as in "this place is a pit!") that it will be hard to get myself out of--and a psychological space that keeps me shutting the door on people outside our immediate family.

Interesting that when I sat down to make this post I did not have all these connections made in my head.  But, writing helps me process ideas. . . .

I started my Anti-Procrastination effort because I was truly serious about making some changes for the better around here--because too many things feel like they are hanging over me, undone.  But with feeling so crappy pretty much all the time now, I am starting to see more and more usual housework falling by the wayside, and too many of the things on the Big List still undone. . . . 

Found here

Ok, don't panic.  Time for some Truth.  This is just a season.  It is perfectly ok for me to hibernate for a few months a year.  It's not like I'm being a hermit--I'm leaving the house multiple times a week, occassionally seeing friends, going to church, etc.  It's just I don't feel good and am pretty brain dead all the time and don't have much energy and so don't really want to be anywhere but at home.  In my pajamas.  In front of the computer with a cup of tea, or curled up on the bed with a good book.  It is ok to admit that's what I want pretty much all the time, as long as I'm not giving into that all the time.  My family is fed, laundry is done, the groccery shopping gets done, everybody is completely on task with school, and so far the house still has walkways through the homeless stuff.

It's OK.

And it's almost time for Lent!  I love Lent, and have been anticipating it for a while now, almost relishing all the options of things I could give up.  (hmmmm--maybe this is as much a sign of the psychological weight I feel under these days from stuff.  If giving up chocolate and tea seems fun because it means two less things I'll be dealing with in a day)  I'm looking forward to it, to a time when I will purposefully strip down my daily life--at least my daily habits--to increase my awareness of God in my life. 

Hmmmm.  Could the timing of my annual hibernation be a parallel desire?  A subtle stripping down of outside things to lave more room for. . . rest?  Restoration?

But I won't be happy hibernating in a house that is constantly frustrating and rebuking me.  So maybe I'll work up the gumption to give it one last go.  I'm going to re-post the list, so I can see what I have accomplished--maybe it is better than I thought!

This is what blogging does.  Over the several hours it took to write this post (in snatches), I went from despair to optimism.  Maybe it is because writing is cathardic, or maybe it is because I got a little Perspective.  Whatever it was, I'll take it!

Ok, if any of you have Anti-Procrastination victories, please do share!  I will be happy for you!



P.S. And if you are in a grumpy mood, and want a really good laugh, you really should visit the link under the "Demotivating" image above.  I stumbled upon the site when I googled just to check my spelling of "despair."  After 5 minutes on that linked page, I was feeling much better. ; )

It's the Little (Soft, Well-Crafted, Realistic, Imaginative) Things That Make Me Happy

Can I just share with you something that makes me really, really happy?

A baby sloth hand puppet.

Some of you know I have a thing for sloths.  I have, ever since I was a little girl and pretended I was a giant three-toed sloth while creeping ever so slowly up the carved wooden post at the end of my bed.  (Thank you, Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.)  Sloths might just be my favorite animal in the whole wide world.  Them and okapis and giraffes.  Yep--those three animals just make me happy because they exist, and I could watch them all day long.  Well, ok, the sloth I would only watch for 15 minutes if he was sleeping, which would be most of the time.  But still, for those 15 minutes I would be a dreamily happy haze of joy. 

So what could be better than watching a sloth?  Playing with an excellently made puppet of one. 

Some of you may have seen Folkmanis puppet before, since a lot of zoos and children's museums and aquariums carry them in their gift shops (choosing to feature the animals most suitable to the ones they features in their exhibits, of course, a marketing ploy of which I wholeheartedly approve).  Good toy stores usually have them too, but if you are looking for a certain animal, it will be hit-or-miss.  Today, while looking for a travel toy for my toddler niece, I stumbled upon all the wonderful Folkmanis puppets offered on Amazon.com.  These puppets are just the most beautiful, well-made toys out there.  And Folkmanis also raises the bar by making puppets that have the best expressions--just waiting to tell a good tale to kids!

I mean, look at this guy!  C'mon, what is not to love???!!!

The other thing the Folkmanis people do so well is make beautiful puppets from creatures you don't normally see on a toy store rack:

I have seen this gobbler in person.  He is HUGE, and so so so beautiful.  

Not all the puppets are big--some are little finger puppets.  So cute!

Oh, the fairy-tale perfection!

You had better believe this Brer Bunny would get into all sorts of mischief. 

The comments on Amazon said this snowy owl had a fully rotating head!  That's realism, and craftsmanship. 

Burrowing owls!

Little turtle that retracts!  As you can see, the smaller puppets are much simpler in design, but I can attest from the ones we own that they are still well made and kids really enjoy them.  We have the little racoon, grey squirrel, barn owl, and bald eagle, all Christmas stocking stuffers one year. 

This donkey reminds me of Sesame Street!  

Look at the fabulous expression on this guy!  What stories he could tell!

There were too many other wonderful puppets that I would have loved to put up here, just because they made me happy, but the photos were not good enough.  The tiny baby birds in their nest.  The baboon.  The tiny field mouse.  The baby harbor seal.  Ahhh, the cuteness, the quality!

If I had a larger house, I freely admit we would have most of these puppets.  And some kind of set up for puppet shows.  But as it is, our house just cannot accommodate any more stuffed animals, even such beautifully made and imagination-sparking ones.  We will be happy with the ones we do have. 

Just for fun, here are the larger Folksmanis puppets we currently do have in our home:

This toad is also huge.  Totally not worth the real estate in our tiny house. And yet. . . I'm the one who picked him out. ; )  He is so gorgeously made, and so fun.  You can stick a finger in his tongue and make it move around, and he can "eat" smaller things, which I thought the kids would enjoy.  But so far Smiley (who "owns" him) half likes him and is half scared of him, and his big sisters enjoy sneaking the toad into Smiley's crib so he finds him in there at night when he goes to bed.  Smiley always dumps the toad on to the floor instead.  But even that makes me smile--the toad clearly has so much personality that Smiley responds to him with his imagination.  

This grizzly is apparently harder to find now--it was not on Amazon today, but I found it new on EBay, so I could show you.  This puppet was given to Happy the same time we got the toad.  (One year my MIL saw these puppets on display at a teacher's resource store in their town, and told DH and I to go and pick out one for each of the kids.  I tried my best to pick small ones, but also wanted to pick out the most fun.  That was the same time I saw the turkey puppet, but I showed a lot of restraint. The toad was big enough!)  This grizzly is fabulous.  You really cannot see the detail at all from this pic, but the fur is so soft and realistic looking, and there are paws with soft textured claws--and the best part is the face.  At least ours has the most wonderful face, reminiscent of "Where the Wild Things Are."  It looks almost soulful.  And I love the fabric texture they chose for the face too.  The mouth is hard to open, though--the only drawback.  I would still purchase it again, though. 

Then a couple of years later we were visiting a nature center with the in-laws, and they had another display of these puppets, and MIL decided to get the kids each one again.  So, this time the kids picked their own, so did not pick the ones I thought were best, but they are still really nice:  Sunny chose a medium sized fox, Merry chose a medium sized fawn, and Happy picked this door mouse, whom we named Jelly:

Smiley was still too little to pick, so I got to pick for him:

That's Bixby.  Bixby has the craziest expression, which made me laugh so hard there in the store, which is of course why I chose him to bring home.  He's a pack rat, and comes with his own removable pack which a kid can put stuff in.  Bixby looks like he has a couple of screws loose, but he tells the best stories, all in this rather grating New Yorker accent.  He also sings Smiley to sleep, and snuggles in close.  Smiley does not toss him out of bed most of the time. ; )

So, there you have it.  A little bit of nothingness that made me smile today!