It's Done--Gone Private

So, this feels a little weird, but also, WHEW!

Esp. because after I posted those somewhat vulnerable/embarassing photos of myself, I checked the blog stats and see that readers from "My Plastic Free Life" have been visiting, thanks to comments I leave on that blog occasionally.  I don't want random strangers evaluating how that red top flatters my breasts and belly or not!

So this blog is now officially a cozy little space, with a cozy little readership.  And to make it extra friendly, I thought I would introduce you all to one another in this first private post. : )

Let's start with the far-away readers:

My mother Nancy and father Ron, recently moved from Illinois to Alabama.
My elder sister Rebecca, in Alabama.
My little sister Allison, in Virginia, is not a blog reader, but she's welcome anytime she ever stops by.
My Aunt Marty, in Illinois, my mother's only sister, who occasionally stops by for a visit.
My dear Susan, in Colorado, one of my best friends since high school.  She's the reason I started blogging.
A fellow blogger and sister-in-Christ Gabe, who has a military husband and so moves around. At the moment she is somewhere with cacti and lizards, so I'm guessing the West/SW. ; )
Dottie, whom I just met when she emailed to get on the invite list, who lives in Texas and sounds a lot like someone I would like to sit and have tea with. : )

And then there are my nearby readers:

My dear Becky, the friend God first gave me when we moved to CA.  She's the reason we go to Vintage Faith Church, which her husband helped begin. And I might be one of the reasons she started homeschooling. ; )
My dear "Rosa," another friend, whose boy and girl are "special same age friends" with my Smiley and Happy, and who also goes to Vintage.
Terry, my homeschool liaison with our charter school, who is a dear, Godly woman in my life.
Sara, my friend and fellow homeschool mom, with five kids almost the exact same ages as mine, and who also goes to Vintage.
My friend Alberta, whose daughter is Sunny's "special same age friend," and who is the reason I started homeschooling.
Ashley, who has been co-leading SoulKitchen--the ministry for women at our church--and who just welcomed her third sweet little child into the world.
Audrey, who I have served on SoulKitchen with this past year, and who just started homeschooling her own three kids.

And then there are my special guests--the women who inspire and challenge me on a daily basis, some of my fellow blog writers.  The main reason I did not want to go private was because I love leaving encouraging comments on their blogs as I follow along with their life stories, and I wanted them to always be able to come visit me in return if they wanted.  Not because I have anything to offer them, but just in case they want to know who is this woman who keeps saying "with love from California." ; )  A few of them knew I was going private and asked me to add them, but then I just went ahead and invited the ones I had email addresses for.  I don't expect them to stop by, but I just want them to be able to.  It helps keep this space feeling like a sunny kitchen, where I can welcome these women for a cup of tea and a chat:

Dorothy in MN, aka "Urban Servant" (MN)
Kari, from "Coffee Catharsis" (MN)
Linda from "Mommy Linda's" (CA)
Jane, who I just recently realized also blogs, over at "Small Deeds"
Keri, from "Creating My Own Little Nirvana" (MA)

I'd like to invite a few more ladies from my sidebar too, such as Lisa from "One Thankful Mom" (ID), Julie from "Not Just An Ordinary Life" (MN), and Barb from "Losing My Mind" (MN)  but I don't have their email addresses. . . At least Lisa and I are facebook friends, so she can find me if she wants me, and Dorothy is a "sista" to Julie and Barb, so again they can find me if they ever want to. : )

And lastly, there are a couple of ladies who I don't know, but who sweetly asked to be readers waaaaaay back when I had a scare a couple years back and temporarily went private to make sure my MIL had not found me.  When I knew all was well, I went back to "public," but now going private again I've left those two ladies in, not knowing if they will ever come back for a visit, but wanting them to be welcome if they do. : ) Elle, Carrie, if you are still here, please say hi!

Of course I will add whomever wants to read, but I think this is pretty much the party from here on out.  Welcome, all of you, and thank you for loving me and wanting to keep coming by.

xoxo

Blessed, aka Lisa ; )

It's a Fashion Show of Things to Go!

There are more things I want to write about that last topic. . . and I am setting the date for going private. . . but in the meantime, how about something not at all serious?  I'm in the mood for levity, and fashion, and cleaning out my closet--so I thought it would be fun to show you all some of the things I am finally letting go.

Let me just remind you that I am the anti-hoarder.  I enjoy nice things, but in this tiny house I have to be brutal at times choosing what nice things will earn their space, and I get so much satisfaction from letting things go (just as much as keeping only things that are useful or make me/my family happy).  So this past week when I was switching out the summer clothes in my closet for the winter ones, I realized I had some things in my closet all summer long that I never wore.  Like not once.  Clothes are only worth the valuable closet real-estate if I wear them, so I decided to take a step back and try to figure out why I didn't--and I realized that I am starting to feel the urge to dress "my age." 

So even though some of those outfits have long been my FAVORITE, I think are just too young for me now, and I wonder if I will ever enjoy wearing them as much as I did before.  This means it may be time to let them go, even if that makes me a little sad too.  But as my upper arms get saggier, and under my eyes gets baggier, I just don't feel good in those outfits anymore.

I also have never liked my legs, esp. the lower leg, and while skirts that hit above the knee are the most flattering for my leg shape (I'm pretty bowlegged from the knee down), they also flaunt my super pale, usually stubbly, starting-to-show-spider-veins legs.  Now I am not ashamed of my legs--they serve me quite well, and I refuse to let anyone tell me they are inadequate somehow because they are not tan and perfectly smooth!--but I also feel like there is no reason to put them on display when doing so does not help me feel more beautiful.  I feel more attractive in long skirts, and think long skirts suit my age better too.

**Disclaimer--please do not take ANYTHING I am writing and think these same things apply to anyone else!  I'll bet you look great in short skirts!   I am speaking only of my own style preferences, and the ways I feel about me.  The clothes I am drawn to are in certain styles, and some of them are rather unusual, and some of them I think I have outgrown.

So, enough talk.  The fun part is showing you!

Blouse and skirt both by Odille, from Anthropologie many years ago.

This outfit has long been my favorite FAVORITE.  I bought the two items from Anthropologie on sale so many years ago I can't even remember when, not expecting them wear them together because the pinks just don't match.  But. . . somehow I tried them together, and kinda liked the effect. . . and in no time this became an official outfit.  I would sometimes wear the skirt with a black t-shirt or tank too.  It is so pretty and floaty, and surprisingly practical--this was one of the few summery items of clothing I had years ago on the long road trip to Illinois and back.  I wore it driving, packing, doing pretty much anything!  I even remember distinctly having it on while hiking around Devil's Tower National Monument. : )  Pink is not my usual color of choice, so it has been fun to have such a nicely made piece to liven up one of my favorite colors to wear, black.

But.  The skirt has always been a little too big for me (like it rides on my hips), which has been convenient when I gained and lost around pregnancies.  But I am just a little tired now of having clothes that don't fit quite right.  I could have it taken in, but considering the whole bare leg in short skirts thing, I am not sure it is worth it.  Finally, I just wonder it is just one of those things I am unconsciously not reaching for because it no longer feels like "me." 

The blouse I might keep.  I just love it SO much, and it looks great with jeans.  Also, it developed a substantial tear in the fabric behind one arm years ago, and my brilliant mother repaired it so well you can't even tell--so there's real love invested in it! 

But.  I have other tops I wear with jeans and don't really need this one.  The tear behind the arm happened because it was a little snug when I stretched my arms forward, and so even though it has enough give now for most activities, it is not necessarily good for things that involve reaching forward. Like emptying the washing machine and dryer.  Like getting things out of the cupboards.  So it ends up being a blouse I put on for Sunday and then take off when I get home.  This is ok. . . but I do want to think about how much I will really wear it if I give up the skirt I have mostly worn it with. . .

A last funny story about this outfit:  I took it to IL for my 20 year high school reunion (don't we take all our favorites to those things?), and my two besties Susan and Mina and I had so much fun laying out clothes and planning out outfits for the various reunion events.  When they saw this outfit, they both vehemently said, "Uh, no."  They said the top was ok, but definitely not with the skirt.  I didn't mind their opinion--I knew it was an unusual combination, and trusted their fashion sense, and was glad for their honesty in the face of such important fashion events. ; )

But.  Back home in Santa Cruz, CA, only a few weeks later, I wore the outfit to a baby shower, and received at least three spontaneous compliments from women there.  I then received compliments at church, and elsewhere.  Every time the women did not just say, "you look nice,"--no, they specifically said how much they liked the two pieces together.  It was just cracking me up--because it was clear that while Mina and Susan knew what the rest of the world finds fashionable, they clearly did not have a pulse on our unusual area--an area where you routinely see bumper stickers with the slogan "Keep Santa Cruz Weird." 

More of my, um, "style."  I can't even remember where I bought the top, and the skirt I found either at Macy's or Ross--can't remember which.

Here is another favorite outfit--I even wore it to my sister-in-law's wedding rehearsal.  It was cuter back when I had boobs, but I still find its shape flattering.  I LOVE how it makes me look slim while not making me  suck in my tummy!  So I might keep the top, as it looks cute with brown pants. Except the only brown pants I used to wear it with have long worn out, so technically I don't know what I would put with this top except jeans.  And again, how many tops do I need to go with jeans?

The skirt is nothing special to me, and I just liked it because it was fun with the top--another mismatched yet complimentary pairing that I have enjoyed.  But I think it just looks a little too youthful for me now.  Now that I think about it, I might like the skirt with a different top, and would not feel it is too young. . . but since there's that whole legs showing thing. . . eh.  So maybe it really means it is the adorable and flattering top that is really too youthful. . .

And here's the final thing I wanted to show you:

Top I bought at a consignment store I think two summers ago.  Jeans I bought at Goodwill, which I LOVE and am wearing until they completely fall off my body.

This is another top that is a great color for me, and I thought was very flattering, emphasizing my miniscule bust and de-emphasizing my tummy.  I found it at a time when I was recovering from my last baby and really did not have many clothes that fit me, and it was just a few bucks, so it was worth buying.  But.  It is synthetic, which is just not my favorite to wear (all the previous clothes have been 100% cotton, except the black blouse which is rayon).  The only clothing items I have to wear it with are a long black skirt, which I admit looks a little outdated (call me weird, but not outdated!), and jeans.  And you can see, it's not the most fabulous on me with jeans. So even though I still like the top, I don't think I wore it once all summer.

So, there you go!  I'd love to hear what you girlfriends think of the pieces and my "too young" theory.  If there are any pieces you really like on me, please say so, because I'm still on the fence with some of them.  But please do NOT just say nice things for nice things sake--time for friendly opinions!  I'd also enjoy hearing your thoughts on your own wardrobes. Are there things/styles you have decided you are just not going to do anymore?  Do you tend to hold onto favorite things even though you don't wear them?   How do you pick your clothes? 

I'm in the mood to talk fashion, so if anyone else is in a similar mood, bring it on!

FInishing Thoughts on Failing Sunday School

Boy, I did not mean to let that last post linger without follow-up for so long.  I never thought that last post would strike such a chord with you all, and I have really enjoyed reading your comments.  Lots of excellent points raised there!  Many of you have also shared your thoughts to me in email, or phone conversations. I appreciate how many of you cared about how I was feeling with Smiley's demotion, and wanted to offer suggestions.

And it made me realize I must have failed to strike the tone I intended in that last piece.  I was going for light humor with a touch of snark, but also acknowledgement of potentially meaningful educational ideology at play.  I think it came off instead like I was really upset, and am harboring resentment towards the Children's Ministry director.  So I want to reassure everyone that while the whole thing seemed to come out of the blue, and the director's response still puzzles me, I am NOT upset.

Most of all I want to make it clear that I have no hard feelings towards our Children's Ministry Director.  She is a lovely woman whom I like very much. She is a mom of two young boys, so I imagine would have reasonable and realistic expectations for boys Smiley's age in general.  I posted what I did because I saw the whole thing as stemming from a difference between the ways formally educated teachers (which the director is) and homeschool teachers view children and learning. So I thought it was worth thinking about--how do formally trained teachers view children's individuality/differences in the classroom?  How are common assumptions about what education is shaping how we do Sunday School, and is that good?  What are we really teaching our kids on Sunday mornings, and what ripple effect might those things have to our children as adults? 

For example--if we always give the kids one style of worship (which at our church is a young, energetic female leader up in front of the kids leading singing to pre-recorded praise songs with choreographed hand and body motions, VBS-style.  It is meant to be fun but I believe is unintentionally a little too "girly" and might understandably be alienating the boys, or making the older kids feel awkward) and say they *have* to do it with everyone else, what are we teaching them about corporate worship?  That it is dumb? That they have no choice? That following what everyone else is doing is more important than meaning it?  That worship is obeying a leader, instead of listening to God?  That the motions are what matter and not the heart?  What about kids who are in rebellion or who are not believers and just need to be accepted for where they are, and be welcomed and allowed to come and not participate as long as they are not disruptive?

Children's worship in Sunday school is just one of many things that we could talk about in such a vein.  We could also talk about the very structure of the time allotted for Sunday school, and what that says about our priorities.  For example, the last time DH and I led the 1st and 2nd grade class together on a Sunday morning, we had the kids sitting and listening to the Scripture reading for that day, but they did not understand the verse.  So I started to tell a story to illustrate the verse, to help them see what it was saying and how it applied to their lives.  It was one of those times when I must have been telling a story well, because the kids were all attentive, engaged--dare I say learning?--when the children's worship leader came to tell us we were late for the worship gathering.  So, we had to stop talking with a roomful of kids who were actually thinking about the Scripture verse and its meaning, and go wave our arms and stomp our feet in the name of Jesus.  Of course, I understand why they came to get us, and why they want all the kids in the large group time together--but with the crafts and games and all, the class ends up with about 10 minutes max to talk to the kids about the Bible, and clearly there is no flexibility for a group that gets really into the Word and wants to linger for a few more minutes in a "teachable moment."  What is all that saying about what we think is most important to teach the kids on Sunday morning? 

And these are the exact issues that stem from our Sunday Schools being modeled after traditional public schools. A model proven to be ineffective in the real world, I might add.  So if the public school model is failing at teaching our kids effectively about math, sciences, history, etc., why are we still using it as the foundation for how we teach kids about Jesus?

So the REAL problem with our Sunday Schools is that everyone is too used to the way things have always been done, and don't even question whether or not it is working, and what it is really teaching our kids about God and church.  Since Sunday Schools are modeled after public school, it would make perfect sense that a former public school teacher would be a really good Children's Ministry Director--and that she and I would not approach these issues the same way.  Homeschool parents naturally see outside the normal ways of doing things, and question everything (esp. authority ; ).  So I see what happened with our director and Smiley being demoted as being simply the result of a different way of thinking about educating kids, and I am completely ok with deferring to her preference on this one. 

But too, I think this situation is the result of the public school view of "socialization."

I think the Director thinks we are a little odd--just a little backwards/backwoods.  Truly, I am ok with that.  Some people have a really hard time understanding why others choose to homeschool, and I just think she is one of them, and it might be flavoring the way she views us--and thus Smiley's behavior in Sunday School. 

Once this past Spring she and I had a fascinating discussion after church on a Sunday.  It was that same week I mentioned above in the Scripture scenario, when DH and I were volunteering in the classroom.  We had gotten there a little late, so afterwards I went to apologize.  I also wanted to ask her not to schedule me for any more classroom time (I had never officially volunteered, but was being called a lot to fill in just because they know me) for a while, because it was too stressful for me to try to get to church early  (and was putting strain on my marriage).  This was in the middle of my depression and at the height of the crazy Spring schedule too, and underneath I was a complete mess even though I thought I was doing a pretty good job of looking normal on the outside, and I felt like I was Failing in pretty much every single aspect of my life, and was quite emotionally vulnerable.  And looking back, I was probably discouraged from "messing up" that morning's Sunday School class schedule by talking about the Bible longer than we were supposed to, and thus unknowingly holding up everyone else.  I already felt like I was always disappointing everyone and couldn't do anything right in other areas of my life, so that little moment of disapproval from the worship leader was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

So that morning, I let my overwhelmedness and sadness show for a moment, as I explained to the director why I couldn't handle the stress of feeling like I was failing at one more thing and so did not want any responsibilities in Children's Ministry at all.  I did not break down or cry or anything, but I am sure my brokenness came through in my face and voice.  And she was all sympathetic and understanding and sweet (because that is who she is) and then she brightly asked me something like, "So, if you don't mind telling me, what made you want to homeschool?" And I assumed this was a segue into a new life topic, and she was thinking about homeschooling her two young boys (SO many young moms from our church have jumped into homeschooling this year!) and so launched into an enthusiastic explanation about why we started, and how it has been such a great thing.  And when I finished my spiel, and she spoke again, it was to basically complete her original thought: "Because it sure seems like you are in over your head big time, and that's why you are such a mess."  She said it much more nicely than that, and I was touched that she cared.  But I was mentally smacking my forehead, that I had not inquired why she was asking before I told her all that stuff, because I realized she is not at all interested in homeschooling, she just thinks homeschooling is killing me and is not sure I can see that.  My reaction was quick, however, as I reassured her with disbelief: "Oh, no, not at all!  Homeschooling is the one thing going really WELL at the moment.  It's all the other things that are so hard right now!"  And it was true--homeschool was the one thing at that moment that was hard but at least rewarding.  (It was everything else in my life that pretty much sucked.)

So that conversation gave me new resolve not to let my brokenness slip out any more, and I think I did a fine job of functioning normally overall until God had me where He wanted me for receiving His truth and healing (which is still in process).  But it also reminded me of how most of the world just can't understand the beauty of homeschooling, esp. those who were formally educated.  (A lot of former Educators DO homeschool, or are able to see why it is a good choice for a lot of families, but I find that MOST Educators just can't go there--homeschooling challenges their very way of life, their identity, how they spend most of their time, the principles they have sacrificed so much for, and so they feel threatened by it.)

All that to say, when she and I spoke the other Sunday about Smiley moving back down to preschool, I had that prior conversation in the back of my head.  She just might have the teensy-tiniest thoughts about Smiley not being properly schooled/socialized, and that might be flavoring this decision to move him down. But again, this is not something I hold against her.  I just think her prior experience/indoctrination as a public school teacher is influencing her perspective on what it means for a kid to be ready, for a kid to be participating, for a kid to fit in, for a kid to be socialized, etc.  I am really and truly fine with her not having the same lens to view kids through that I as a homeschool mom have.  Everybody is limited in perspective--because we are all looking from different starting points.  We all just do the best we can with what we understand at the time, and I believe she believes this is best for everybody.  
 
Final thoughts:

-- I don't think she and I need to talk about it further, because I don't think that would change anything. 

--The whole brief discussion was also very awkward, and I don't want awkwardness between us, because she is a really nice woman and I am sure we will have a long relationship together as members of the same body.

--I appreciated that one of my reader friends, who also has kids in our Sunday School, asked me if anyone--the SS teachers or DH and I--had ever actually talked with Smiley about appropriate ways to show respect for the teacher and classroom.  No, I don't think anyone ever has--a great starting point!

--I'm not sure the director realized that Smiley is really, officially, in kindergarten--maybe that would have made a difference. 

--But maybe it would not have made any difference, given that she likely thinks he is not ready for the kindergarten class because he is not getting the benefits of "real" school and indoctrination into cultural norms (I'm realizing kindergarteners must not be allowed to lay on the floor while in school while learning.  Who knew? ; )

--I asked Merry and Happy about what Smiley had been doing during group time, and they did confirm that he was not going along with the hand motions or singing, and that he did lie down one time, and I guess overall he was not participating.  I asked Smiley about it, and he wanted to talk out of hearing of his sisters, and then he said he had been shy.  So, it does sound like his actions were being misinterpreted by everyone as immaturity--and what will happen to other shy kids who come? 

--And yet, maybe shyness leading to non-participation is immaturity. 

--Most importantly, Smiley is totally happy being back with his best buddy Hecho, and is building relationships with two other little boys that make me happy.  I do wonder what will happen in the future when we move him up again--is there some point at which they will realize he is a class behind his grade and want him to jump back up?  Or will Smiley realize at some point that he is not with the other boys in his grade and wonder why?  Ah, we will deal with such questions when they come.  For now, this is fine. 


Ok, so I think that covers everything.  Again, I really appreciated all of your comments and queries.  I believe it is really important that the church think through the messages we are sending our kids, and the things we are indoctrinating them into.  If what we are doing in any way hinders the Truth of God's love, Jesus's covering Grace, and the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives today, then it needs to change.  Maybe having so many homeschooling families at our church (15 so far!) will end up having a subtle effect on the church body in a good way. . . but I will trust God to lead me to know when to speak and when to be still.  This time I don't have any urge to speak, so am trusting I wasn't supposed to. : )

Much love to you all this fine Fall day!

Random update #1--In Which My Son Fails Sunday School

Smiley was demoted in Sunday School. 

This past August, on "Move Up Sunday," we dutifully moved him from the preschool room to the kinder room, even though he was sad to be leaving his best bud "Hecho," son of Rosa.  Then three weeks ago, the Children's Ministry leader approached me after Sunday School to gently confront me, and said she thought Smiley should move back down to the preschool room. When I asked why, she said because he was not participating as [she thought] he should during the large group time (when the k-5 kids get together in a larger classroom and sing and dance and watch a [really boring] cartoon Bible lesson.  I think she said he was laying down for part of it and must have seemed disinterested. . . which I have seen other kids do. . . .

Huh.  I just smiled brightly and said, "Oh, ok!" 

Smiley turned 5 in Sept and is officially a kindergartener.  He has also spent his entire "preschool" life participating in educational activities with children much older than himself.  He sits and watched long documentaries about nature and science and history--he watched the entire Ken Burns' "The West" series this past Spring, for heaven's sake.  The boy has a much better attention span than most his age.  At home, he dances and sings--with tutus to boot.  He listens well and has never seemed to demonstrate any inability to know what is expected and follow along.  He is a people person, and jumps right in with whatever playing is going on.  Other people love having him over at their houses because he is such a good little guy who is so easy to please, and who plays with others so well.

The leader is a lovely woman whom I have known for many years now and whom I like very much.  She is also a former public school elementary teacher.   I think it is safe to say this is a true case of homeschooler prejudice--clearly this poor boy is showing a lack of proper socialization, and does not know how a kindergarten boy should act.  Maybe I should teach him to hit other boys?  Or quickly and uncaringly color and complete whatever is placed before him and then run off to throw toys inappropriately? 

Ok, I realize I sound bitter, but I am seriously typing this with a smile.  Well, a wry smile.  I see this not as a flaw in the leader, but as an example of the faulty training she herself received.  I am sure the leader saw something in Smiley that made her think that was a wise choice, but I am seriously flummoxed.  I have volunteered in Sunday School many times now, and have a pretty good idea of what normal participation is, esp. for boys his age.  What I described above is how some (even older!) boys act each week, and I don't think the leader would approach their parents and suggest they need to be moved to a lower class. 

And interestingly enough, this is the EXACT kind of thing that happened to us when Sunny was actually in public kindergarten--she was omitted from things the rest of the class was doing because "she was too young."  Um, yes she was on the young end, but if the state says she should be here, then um, accommodate her!  Oh, wait--they did.  They pulled her out of the classroom to have special intervention with a special-needs aid.  Without talking to us about it first.  And similarly, we loved her kinder teacher, and thought she was awesome--but clearly there is something in the public school teacher mentality that has to take any kid who is odd or different and label them "special needs."  As in, "we need to fix that."

**Clarifier--Sunny probably was gaining good things from the attention she was receiving, working on gross motor skills and all that.  I have NO PROBLEM with my child spending time with an aide and a Down Syndrome girl.  Great!  She would not have qualified for an IEP anyway, so a little special attention on the sly--perfect.  But it was really disconcerting to feel like my child was being labeled, and then biased against, just because she was a little different.  And I don't think any child should be taken out of the classroom on a regular basis without the parent's knowledge and approval.  That felt creepy.

But back to Smiley--clearly my second "special needs" child.  ; ) Good thing, as a homeschool mom, I honestly don't care one whit what "grade" he is in.  And so the next week I got to tell him he could go back to his old classroom and get to be with Hecho!  Yay!  He was so glad, and actually I am too, because I realized there are two other little boys who had moved up to the class that I would like for him to befriend--one was recently adopted, and one is the son of a lovely fellow homeschool mom!  (And then the little adopted boy just last week choose Smiley to be his special guest at his birthday dinner--how special is that!  Clearly the boys are striking up a friendship, and I LOVE the parents, so that's all a win!)

So, really, it's all fine.  But I do still just have to smile sadly and shake my head.   I think VERY highly of public school teachers as a profession.  I do not even know how they do it--they seriously have one of the toughest jobs out there, and one of the most important.  Both my parents were public school teachers, and I think they were very good at what they did.  But I do have issue with some of the ways modern teachers are taught to think what Education is, and how best to impart it to young minds--and both DH (who volunteers in the Sunday School classrooms way more than I do) and I have complained to one another that too much of the way our (and probably most) Sunday School is run is very akin to public school, to its loss.

Maybe one of these days they need a homeschool parent in charge.  ; )  Now THAT would be fascinating to see!

Um, that makes me so tired just thinking about.  No, I'll leave the lovely leader to her post, and support her as much as I can.  Which in this case, means putting Smiley back into preschool and letting it go.  He's happy, she's happy, DH is disgruntled but what can he do, and I'm choosing to see it as Just One of Those Things That Ends Up For The Best Anyhow.  : )

Going Private--for my MIL

Some of you are still visiting with some regularity--thank you for caring and still stopping by every now and then, even when I'm not blogging as much!--and already noticed the little announcement at the top of the page.  And those of you who enjoy mega-posts--today you are in luck! Everyone else, you have been warned. ; )  Yes, the day has finally come.  I want to keep blogging, and to be able to share openly about whatever is on my heart and mind--and I want this blog to continue to feel like a safe space in which to do so. 

My main concern of course is my MIL.  When I first started blogging about our relationship, I thought it was healthier to do so with the knowledge that someday she might find the blog, and would then most definitely read it.  That thought gave me some necessary accountability, and really helped me choose my words and focus on the positive when I wrote about her and me.  But, this past Spring I started to write about me and MIL more, and with more detail and negativity.  Not that I think I've been more negative, but I have been more honest about what things have really been like for the past 18 years, which is itself negative--and which makes it all the better for anyone to appreciate how amazing things are now in comparison!  But as a result, I had three women whom I respect privately ask me if I thought it was wise to write so openly, knowing my MIL could find it.  I so appreciated their caring enough to gently question my wisdom and sensitivity.  And I listened.

You know, back when I started writing, things were pretty bad, and I did not share much of it.  What I did share, I figured if it was found by my MIL it might well make her upset (not because I was being untruthful or disrespectful, because I was really being careful not to be either, but just because I was writing about her/us at all--like finding out someone has been talking about you behind your back), but it could maybe then be an impetus for change in our relationship.  Our relationship was already so bad I really had nothing to lose, and she would not have realized then that she did have anything to lose.  So thinking about her finding the blog was a little scary, but I also felt that if it was found someday, it would likely be a relief, and maybe she would finally hear everything I have been thinking, feeling, and trying to share for years.  And maybe it would have helped her step outside of her own headspace for a bit, and help her see what her actions and words looked like from other people's point of view.  In other words, to help her see how unhealthy and sinful our relationship was--because maybe if she did not like what others saw, she would want to change that.

And let me just be brutally honest for a minute--I put up with so much crap over the past 18 years, that part of me was not overly concerned about her feelings.  She was always talking about everyone behind their backs all the time and saying much less hopeful and truthful things than I was, which understandably did not inspire me to be oversensitive to her potential feelings.   

But now. . . things are better. Miraculously so.  Our relationship has improved so much it is hard to believe.  It feels like God did His good work in me for years and years, slowly, with me fighting every step of the way because it hurt and didn't seem fair and I didn't want to do it and what about MY feelings, what about ME?  But He was persistent, and insistent that I change my heart, and grow up in Grace a bit.  He convicted me that He was calling me to LOVE my MIL (not in feelings, but in actions--doing what is loving), and so I have been slowly figuring out what that really means, and learning to depend upon Him to do it through me. 

And then it seems like He started His good work in my MIL at some point (maybe all along--only they know) and we have been seeing real fruit for going on two years now.  I think God had to grow me enough so I would recognize when MIL was growing, trying to be gracious--so I could get out of the way, and be a help and not a hindrance to it!  That does not mean the past 2 years have been all roses and sunshine--no, things have still been painful at times.  But the difference between ten or even six years ago and now is seriously staggering.

The Holy Spirit whispered to me years ago that someday my MIL would look back over the years and realize I had been a friend to her.  It was so hard to believe at the time--that was back when things were terrible, which is one way I know that was a word from God and not just my own imagination.  I could not have imagined it.  But now, things are slowly, slooooooowly starting to move in the direction of us being not just polite to one another (which for years seemed impossible) but even to be companionable with one another.  It will take a long time before anything remotely like friendship is realized--which is why I think the vision the Holy Spirit gave me was when she and I are both much older!--but I think it is now at least imaginable down the road.

Which brings me back to this post now, and the issue of making the blog private.  Before, I did not want to make my blog private just because of MIL, because it would seem like I was doing so out of fear, or from being sneaky--and I would rather my blog have been discovered by MIL than to feel like I was doing either.  But now my heart is in a different place, and I know God has entrusted me with the knowledge of just how fragile this growing relationship is, and that MIL is vulnerable--and I don't at ALL want to do anything to hurt this healing, to set back our growth!

So, I thought about keeping this blog public, but taking down anything having to do with MIL.  Hmmmmm.  There are some posts that never quite sat right with me, which I would be glad to un-publish; but there are too many other bits of our relationship story that are so heavily entwined with my own spiritual growth story, and I don't want to take them out.  God has used my MIL to grow me--as I have always said, jokingly (but not), "Nobody can send me faster to the foot of the cross than that woman!"  And ultimately, that is a good thing.  I believe He has used and is using me to grow her too.  The refining process has not been pretty, but it has so far proven fruitful, and I really and truly want to celebrate that. 

Also, I have had so many women share with me privately that they too have difficult relationships, and suffer in them.  And what I have realized is that lots of us do--but we never talk about it openly, because that would seem like complaining, or gossiping, or being malicious, or even just focusing on the negative, and those of us who are seriously desiring to please God are really trying not to do any of those things.  But this means that a lot of suffering goes on quietly, and women are at a loss for how to handle their feeling and frustrations and fears.  They could really use encouragement from other Christian women who are working through the same things--but since none of them talk about it, they don't realize they are not alone.  So I have always written in the hopes that doing so I might be able to bless someone else--and I think that has happened. 

I have always tried to write with honesty, but also respect for my MIL, and to focus on the positive.  I have been so thankful that in our whole long 18 +  years of relationship, I have never consciously sinned against MIL.  I have not lashed out in anger,  I have not said things in anger I wished I could take back, I have never tried to hurt her, I have never been glad when she was upset or hurt.  I have always tried my best to get along, to keep peace, to speak truth, to do what I can to help healing between us.  I have not done any of these things perfectly--let me say it plainer than that: I have messed up trying to do all of these things well.  BUT I have never knowingly sinned against my MIL. 

Well, to her face that is.  My biggest struggle has always been the sometimes constant thinking negative things about her.  THAT has been a huge issue for me--keeping my thought-life honoring to God.  In my own defense, it is hard to think positive things when you are yourself being force-fed a constant flow of over-the-top negative things.  For many years, I allowed my mind to be given over to the fear and worry and futile and pathetic desire to please and to dwell on all the hurtful and cruel words that had been spoken over me--and for a long time I had no control over my thoughts about my MIL.  I not only dwelled on the negative when I was with her, but when I was not with her too.  I would find myself multiple times a day nursing old wounds, or inventing conversations in which I was the victor and not the victim.  It would especially happen anytime I was doing any housework--since that was one thing that was always used by MIL to assert superiority over me, to point out my inadequacies, to lord bitter triumph over me when I inevitably failed to meet the inspection.  I realized my thought patterns had a terrible, sinful grip on me when I could not even wash the dishes without reliving or imagining negative things involving my MIL at least 20 times.  The negativity was taking over my mind--and that was crippling sin. 

And God is just now showing me another area in which I was sinning against her for all those years--I was nursing a grudge against her.  But both of these issues were not conscious sins against her, and for that I am grateful.

Over the course of many years I worked on changing those negative, sinful ways of thinking about my MIL, with God's wisdom and help, and that's why I was trying to be so careful not to sin against my MIL in what I wrote here in my blog.  I think I succeeded overall, until this past Spring.  I never said so at the time, but I fell into a dark place this past Spring.  Looking back, I see I was slipping into it even in early January, and it lasted until May.  Even after the big hold the darkness had on me was broken by God's mercy, the emotional and psychological effects of it lingered until just a few weeks ago. I think I am truly out from under it now--praise be to our Good Lord Jesus for delivering me--and I can look back now and see how I was a different person in some ways during that time.  I hid it somewhat well from the outside world, but one thing I noticed was that I was becoming more frank about how things were with my MIL here on my blog, and I was starting to write with more complaint and almost a tattling spirit.  I think I was so emotionally stricken that I stopped caring about writing carefully.  I still don't know if that ventured over into sin. . . . Was that gossip?  Was that slander?  Is it gossip anytime we mention someone else in our stories?  Is it sinful to be vulnerable in our hurting?   But I do know that it was not focusing on the positive, and was not written with the previous desire to be respectful.  I was walking wounded, and wrote out of that woundedness.

I am so thankful now that I feel healed.  Possibly in a really big, life-changing way--time will tell.  I think where I am now is an even a better place for growing in relationship with MIL.  So I want to be loving and respectful to her in anything I write.  But I also want the freedom to write my story--our story--as I feel led. 

So, it's time to make the blog private.  I realize that since I have been so sporadic in my blogging since last Spring there is a good chance that there are only a few of you still reading.  That's ok--it's good for my pride. It also makes it easier to not worry that I am depriving an appreciative world of the wealth of my insight.   (Typical blogger folly = assuming I have things to say, and everyone cares if I do or not! ; )  But those of you who are still around, I think I will need to add you manually to the approved reader list.  (Jessica, please do share any advice you have for me about this, since you have done it before.)   I do not want to assume any of you previous readers still want to be reading, so I will not add you unless you request (except for you, Mom ; )  So would you please email me at the address above (which I have added spaces to, to keep trolling spam programs from grabbing it--hope that works) if you would like me to add you?

My feelings will not be hurt if I don't get many requests.  This has never been a blog with a large readership, and now most of my old readers have moved on.  I started this blog simply as a way of sharing life with my mother, my best friend Susan, and my sisters.  Any of you who have joined my journey along the way--thank you for sharing some of it, and your presence has been a blessing to me. 

Much love to you all!

Blessed
 

Not Back To School Photos

My schoolgirls

A couple of our homeschool mom friends decided we should have a special "Back To School" park date, and take official "school" portraits.  What a fun idea--wish had thought of it way back when we first started homeschooling!  

Sunny, Grade 8

Merry, Grade 5

Happy, Grade 3

Smiley--who was of course not at all smiley yesterday, and who in fact had an inexplicable clinging and refusing to look at the camera fit--my kindergartener.

The Redwood Academy, Fall 2013

Hello!

I cannot believe it has been one day over one month since I last posted.  Let me just say, it has been a CRAZY month.  Well, actually it has been really busy since mid-August, but things really stepped up to the maximum level of crazy this month.  Just to give the skinny on the past 6 weeks (this is really for you, Mom, so you know why you have not heard from me recently!):

1. Homeschooling
--School officially started for our kids on Aug. 15, through our charter.  Smiley is a kindergartener this year, so I am now homeschooling all 4.  But already I was looking at our calendar, and everything we had on it, and so I said to myself, "Um, no."  And so my kids kept doing "summer school" until Sept 9, when our little "Redwood Academy" started the school year with new books, routines, subjects, etc.  I have been trying to trouble-shoot some of the things that did not work out well last year, and figure out why some of our previously good habits slipped awry, and so lots of new things are happening this year--so far, so good.  Hard, but good.

--Because it was the start of school, we started regular classes back up again and so my girls have been back in music, LitWits workshops (plus and a weeklong writing camp), as well as their usual martial arts classes and this semester's "Musical Mondays" theatre workshop.  And all the girls had martial arts testing (to move up a belt level) in there, and a tournament too.

2. Serving our church
--numerous meetings for Jr. High youth group team (new ministry involvement started this summer--DH and I help with events) and the youth parent panel at our church.  And this past Fri-Sat DH and Sunny went to a big event at our local Boardwalk--an overnight for jr. and high school youth groups!

--Also meetings for Soul Kitchen, our church ministry for women, and then I have been in charge of food and set up and kitchen duties for our three nights of Conversations--the last one is tomorrow night.  Oh, and I also hosted an all-day Beth Moore simulcast event.   And worked the SK table at our church ministry fair.

--DH and I and Sunny and Merry also served with the Children's Ministry two Sundays (it is hard for campus churches to meet such needs in the summer when all the college students who normally serve are gone). 

3.  Learning and growing as men and women
--DH went on a weekend men's retreat, together we did a weekend Intentional Parenting retreat, and I had an evening dinner retreat with  fellow Christian homeschool moms at the home of a lovely woman who has been mentoring us. 

4. Squeezing out the last bit of summer with friends
--We met friends at the beach, the kids had a sleepover (thanks, Sara!) and a birthday party and an adoption party, and a Red Barn Theatre dance production.

5. End of summer family fun
--DH's family had a small family reunion up in Chico, and so we went up for the last week of August.  His sister and her husband and "Spice" and "Sweetness" came out from CO, and it was wonderful to see them, and then one of his cousins and her family came down from WA, and since we have not seen them since Happy was a baby, that was special too.  It was a very fun week! 

--Happy turned 8 in July, and we finally had a chance to do her "birthday adventure," which involved me taking her and her special-same-age-friend "Mini Rosa" (daughter of my friend "Rosa") to a local studio to paint pottery (thank you for the gift certificate Mom--she loved it!), and then creek-walking and dinner with the Rosas.   Then at the beginning of this month Smiley turned 5, and so we had a three-part birthday bash for him (since I seriously could not make it all happen on the same day--that's how crazy it has been!) with dinner at home on his actual b-day, cupcakes and playdate with his best bud HO (son of Rosa) last weekend, and today he is finishing it up with riding a historical train from the Santa Cruz mountains to the beach with his daddy. : )

6. End of summer cleaning fun
--Oh, and while we were gone up in Chico, we invited my dear Becky's husband Dan to come stay at our house; he had a big writing deadline (he is under contract for another book for Zondervan) and needed a distraction-free place to work, and so it worked out perfectly for him to stay here.  Of course this meant I felt like I had to clean the whole house from top to bottom, though! ; )  I mean, our house freaks out people easily enough--I did not want him to be uncomfortable by cobwebs or mold or dust or dust turning to mold, etc.  So that took at least a week of cleaning--but of course you can imagine how fun it was to see my house that way! 

And no, I did not get photos.  I really meant to.  But, life.

--BUT before he came, we finished pulling out and sorting every bin under the house!  That is such a huge achievement, and something that helps me feel much more ready for the starting school year.

This sounds like "What I did last summer" doesn't it--but all this stuff has happened just in the past 6 weeks!  Now you know what I mean by CRAZY!  It's all good stuff--but somehow it all came at once.  The pinnacle of crazy was last weekend, when we had FOUR events all on the same day, and we managed to pull them ALL off.  (I got the family up and all ready for the day and gathered everything they would need, then drove to church and hosted the Beth Moore simulcast from 8:30-4:30, then drove over half an hour to get to the homeschool moms dinner; meanwhile, my amazing Dear Husband stopped by the church at 9 a.m. to make sure the tech for the simulcast was working properly [it wasn't, so I was thankful] and then took the kids up to the mountains for a big annual event at a state park celebrating the culture and history of the Indian tribes who originally lived here.  They did that from 10-noon, then he got them lunch and got Sunny to her martial arts testing, took the rest of the kids on an impromptu adventure at the fire station down the street from martial arts, then brought them all home, fed them the dinner I had made the night before, and got them ready for bed.  I stumbled home around 10 and we both collapsed. : )

Yes, this one photo--from the night we returned home from Chico--pretty much sums up the past 6 weeks. 

All of these things I really wanted to share when they were happening, because there has been SO MUCH GOOD in so many of these things!  But I just have not had the time or energy or brainpower--it has been used up by all the things I just shared above. 

I must say, though, that even though I did not have it in me to blog, I was coming here regularly so I could access all my blog links there on the sidebar--and every time I did, I was greeted by my beautifully clean kitchen!!! That was so fun.  (Because of course it has not looked that good since I posted the photos.) 

We still have a busy couple of weeks to go:  a homeschool "back to school" party at a local park, a birthday party, a proposed Mom's night out, the last night of Conversations (all those happen tomorrow!), our first Vintage Homeschool Moms gathering, going to the Renaissance Fair for the first time with the kids, two school field trips, more martial arts testing, and our 18 year wedding anniversary!  And then DH's parents asked if they could come to visit, so we said the 12th was the first weekend we were not  busy, so they will likely come then for a few days.  [But we just got off Skyping with them tonight, and they really want to come this weekend, when we have other things going on that aren't really their cup of tea. Ack! Cleaning was not what I planned on doing this week!] So, I'm thinking the whole September crazy is winding down and things should be pretty relaxed by Oct 19th. 

That seems so far away.

No, I'm saying that with a smile.  I'm feeling positive and good, and all this busy is being balanced with keeping our expectations of myself and the kids healthy, and I'm doing a good job remembering every day what is *really* important. 

I don't know when I will blog next, but I'll try to go back to snippets at least--SO MANY things I want to share that are really, really good and special.  Until then, may you rest in God's blessings.  : )

Welcome to My Kitchen--the photo tour!

 

Welcome!  Come on in!  This is what you would see of my kitchen after coming in the front door.  Of course the first thing one sees is books--lots of books.

 

 

 

But if you turn and look to your left, you'll see that the entry is also the start of the kitchen.

 

 

If you want to see any photo larger, just click on it

 

Please, walk this way.  Now you are standing in the middle of the kitchen, facing the front of the house. That is the front door off to the left, where you just came in, with my Dear Husband's vest and hat hanging there, the things he grabs when it's time to bring in more firewood.  This stand we use for the microwave is not my favorite, but it does the job, and even hides some of my bulk food storage underneath, which is helpful. It is graciously on permanent loan from DH's parents, as are the kitchen table and chairs.

 

When we first moved into this house, that is right where the fridge sat.  Old beat-up fridge right next to the front door--does that say class or what.  

 

Same view, just looking up.   The carved and turned wooden cups displayed above were made by my great-grandfather Troy Lager back in Southern Illinois.  Up there are also some pretty little turned wooden candle-stick holders--not heirlooms like the cups, but still beautiful.  I brought back all these treasures from my parents' house last summer.

 

I have to step back for a minute, to take a longer shot and help you get a feel for how the room starts all together. 

 

When we bought the bigger fridge, the only place to put it was in front of a window.  That bugs me, because we lose some light and it seems odd, but the only view from that window is the neighbor's house and bedroom window, so actually having the fridge there (and thus the curtains behind it always pulled closed) gives us more privacy.  Still, this has always in my mind been a temporary location.

 

The space next to the fridge by the window is just the right size for storing the rest of the antique wooden folding chairs, so they are ready for company.

 

It was not quite as dark in the living room as this shot would lead you to believe, but our house is pretty dim on a cloudy day like yesterday was. Still there is enough natural light for everyday living--I just turned on the lights to try to help the photos turn out.

 

 

 

For this shot I stood all the way in the living room at the foot of our bed/sofa.

 

When we first moved into this house, there was only one light in the entire kitchen-living room area--a creepy, buzzing, bad motel pull-string metal bathroom fixture over the kitchen sink.  So one of our first home improvements was putting in these lights, which I got on sale from Restoration Hardware.  My MIL proclaimed installing them was like "putting lipstick on a pig."  ; )

 

 

As you can see, most of the house is still wired with the original 1928 "knob and tube" wiring, which is actually much better wire than the stuff put into houses today!  We are slowly replacing it, and you can see where we need to finish the walls after re-wiring.  There were originally redwood valances that hung over both of the large windows and covered the curtain hardware, which we had to take down for the re-wiring.  One of these days we will put them back up, I'm sure. 

 

The one bit of beauty in my front yard--my little cottage flower garden, which you can see a glimpse of out the front kitchen window.  Someday with the fridge moved, this space could be a lovely little table nook.
 

There was a large, ugly door on that cupboard over the sink that was hinged on the right so it was obnoxious to use while cooking, so I had DH take it off years ago.  It too will be replaced someday.  Hopefully.

 

 

 

 

This photo cracks me up, because you can see that only hours after I had this kitchen as perfect as I could make it, there are already dishes back by the sink (at least mostly clean!) and stuff sitting out in use.  That yogurt container is my make-shift compost container--I'm on the hunt for something much more attractive that is worth the counter-space.

I tried a second shot with the lights off, to see if that would more accurately capture the colors of the wood and cabinets.  There is not really a corner for the trash can, so it usually lives there in front of the oven, and I just pull it out of the way whenever I need to get into the oven.  The stepladder is ugly but necessary, since most of my storage is up high. I have to move it too anytime I want to open the oven door fully.  That's ok--I use the stovetop most.

 

Why, yes, that is a gargoyle on the hutch.  Doesn't every kitchen have one? 

 

The things sitting out on these shelves probably say more about us than the rest of the kitchen (except for the fridge, when it is in full display).  Top shelf left is the family candy basket--where the excess holiday candy goes.  As hard to reach as possible. Next to it is a photo of DH and I in our Renaissance costumes, taken B.C. (Before Children).  And then comes the little pot my sister brought me back from Europe when she was studying there.  Then comes the liquor.  Finally, the tagine and platter DH and I hand carried all the way from Morocco, where we visited his sister when she was in the Peace Corps there (also B.C.). 

The best close-up I could manage.  I knew if I did not try someone would complain. ; )

 

On the middle shelf on the left is my collection of "special" loose teas (thank you for sharing from your international collection, Mom!) and my "girlfriend" tea pot and cups.

 

 

Then comes a hand-made covered dish we bought at an art fair back in Old Colorado City.  It's my only "special occasion" dish.  Then come the antique blue glass mason jars my dad gave me when they moved--which hold my everyday loose teas. 

 

All the things on the shelf used to be grouped in a manner which I found more aesthetically pleasing, but when I started to worry about earthquakes, I started to imagine the damage (and potential fire hazard) of things falling down onto the gas-burners. . . so this arrangement is not as attractive to my mind, but sets my mind to rest.

 

The bottom shelf of course has the most utilitarian objects, none of which merit description. 

 

 

 

Except for the jar of sea glass, exceptional shells, and other found treasures.  With some vibrant lichens we just brought back from Lake Tahoe on top!

 

 

 

To the right of the hutch you see the doorway to the bedroom.  With no door.

 

 

And if you look farther to the right, you see the standing cupboards that were here when we moved in, which constitute most of our in-house storage.  The missing door is to my side of the clothes closet DH and I share.  Next to it is the broom closet, and children's art supplies storage.

These cupboards are very, um, rustic, and are clearly not original to the house, which overall was well constructed, with nice details.  So one of these days I hope we will build new ones (they are not only valuable storage, but serve as a dividing wall between the kitchen and living room) and then the refrigerator will be here on the right, with the cupboards built around it.  Yes, we will lose inside storage space that way (and who knows where the vacuum will go then), but I think it is the most logical and potentially attractive place for the fridge.  

We really do have to make the most of our in-house storage, so we use the top of the cupboards too. 

 

Back to Monday night--after the ladies left, I just had to marvel at my sink cabinet, faucet, soapstone counter and sink.  I need to see them more often. ; )  I love everything about this little section of the kitchen, because this is one thing we planned and designed and made happen.  This is like a little glimpse of how cool our tiny, antique shack could be if we really put our hearts into it.  It gives me hope.

 

Thanks so much for coming by! 

 

 

 

 

Anti-Procrastination Fun in the Kitchen

So, last night I had the chance to host a little Soul Kitchen "Conversations" meeting at my house.

I have had close friends over to my house, I have had one-on-one meetings at my house, I have even hosted birthday parties at my house (yes, inside!), but I have never been able to host any SK meetings, because I just don't have enough places for women to sit.  I mean, we can pack people in at our kitchen table for informal meals, with family members or friends of our kids, but it's just too close for comfort for a meeting where people will be getting out binders and calendars and other planning materials. But this meeting was just for the upcoming Fall Conversations events, and so there were just going to be three of us.  Perfect!

And also the perfect time to get motivated to do some long-overdue deep cleaning. 

I wish I had listed these things individually on my Big List of Things To Do, so I could have the pleasure of scratching them out--but instead, I'll just share these favorite bits of accomplishment with you!

I inherited these brown crocks when my Grandma died.  I had washed them before, and knew there was a gunky film on them, but thought it would be hard to get off.  I am embarrassed now to confess that I have been using them in my kitchen for THIRTEEN years now, and never tried to deep clean them.  They looked fine.  But yesterday I decided to just use some warm soapy water and baking soda--and quickly discovered that a) the gunk came off quite easily with a little elbow grease, and b) the crocks were not actually brown.

Not only are they actually bone colored stoneware, but the upper glazing is shiny.  Who knew?!

When we needed to get a new fridge a few years ago, DH wanted stainless steel.  But because I have always used our fridge doors for homeschool show-and-tell, and because this finish is not magnetic, I warned him I would be covering the beautiful stainless steel doors with taped-up artwork.  He was ok with that.  So, most of the time our fridge is covered in kid's creations, maps and timelines, etc. The tape leaves some sticky residue, but we always just cover it back up with more paper and art, so I don't pay it much mind.  But a few weeks ago we finally took down last Spring's display, which had lingered up too long.  But it being summer, I didn't have anything new to put on the fridge (except for this cute smiling sun Happy made) so I was constantly looking at the tape-marked, smudged fridge doors.  So yesterday, I used that same magical formula of warm soapy water, baking soda, and elbow grease, and voila!

I never imagined it would turn out so pristine.  It really made me happy.  (This photo was taken at night, after the ladies had gone, so the orange streaks on the door are the reflections of candles on the table.)

Even the stove-top and hot water kettle got the magic baking soda treatment!  And I oiled the soapstone counter and backsplash too, which I rarely do--but I love the way it looks when I do.

So, a few things that took some work, but which  are paying off in satisfaction!

And now--the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Because of all the deep cleaning I did the past two days in the kitchen, I am FINALLY READY TO GIVE YOU THE PHOTO TOUR.  Well, of that one room at least.

I have a feeling the women who once really wanted to see my house lost their patience a long time ago and no longer stop by.  Aubrey.  Desiree.  But Jessica, tomorrow's post is for YOU! ; )

So, come on back tomorrow, and be ready to feel SO MUCH BETTER about your own kitchen!