OK, I promise I will end this overly long story with this post. I never meant for it to go so long, but I must say, it has been so good for my heart to write it out. Writing is not only cathardic, but also forces me sort out ideas fully, to really think about what I think. So, thanks for humoring me. I hope maybe one of you got to thinking about your own relationship with God, what you mean to him, what He calls you.
So last post I was saying that just when I started thinking about how "Blessed" did not say much about me, but was really all about God, our church started a series on the Sermon on the Mount. They are planning on doing this series until Easter--I love how deeply they plan on going! So for over a month now they have been dealing with just the Beatitudes, and it has been really good to think through.
The idea that I heard in one of the first messages was that "blessed" meant "happy."
Hmmmmm. In the whole "how does Blessed reflect me and not just God" aspect, that was not very helpful. When I think of Happy, I think--of course--of my sweet and cheerful now seven-year-old. I don't think of myself as Happy. I mean, I think overall I am a pretty positive person, and am overall happy with my life, but somehow that word suggests lightheartedness, even frivolity. And those are not really me. I think culturally we have lost connection with the word "happy" and don't know what to do with it.
So I sat with that idea of "blessed = happy = me?" for a week, until the next Sunday's message. And then, the idea of "happy" was redefined in a way that not only gave so much more meaning to the passage, but also totally filled my heart with joy:
(I don't know who uploaded this image to facebook the day of that sermon, but I was so glad to see it!)
THAT is me. Or, I should say, that is who I long to be, but believe I am in the process of becoming. This is a meaning of Blessed that I can claim, and suddenly it feels right, it feels personal, it feels like God once again whispering to me, gently, affectionately.
And even now, writing this final chapter, I am seeing the Truth of that name so much more clearly.
Because who I am in my innermost Self is not separatable from God's love for me, from who I am in relationship with Jesus. My true identity is in Christ. WHY do I forget that over and over? How the Deceiver must chortle at every time he sees me living out the opposite. Because forgetting that I am approved, loved, and completely accepted by God is forgetting who I really am. Even in my sinfulness, even in my failures, even in my insecurity--I am right at this moment in a right relationship with God, because I claim him as he claims me. The relationship does not depend upon my getting things right or being perfect--it depends only upon the choice to accept God's divine love, to revel in the knowledge of that love, to live out my life always within the Truth of that love.
[crying, now. you knew it was coming.]
Blessed = contented in belonging to Christ = me
And that feels like it reflects the innermost me the way I always wished a special name would. So I am sure my understanding of this idea will continue to deepen, over the course of my life but even just through this sermon series, but for the moment, I feel like once again I am settled comfortably in the Truth of who I am, and it feels good.
May you all be having a great and BLESSED weekend!
My Sunny and Merry and Happy girls, reading the Beatitudes during the service last week. : )
I love this! And what a precious picture of your girls.
ReplyDeleteAdam's Bible study this weekend was about this topic. They were talking about how when you say "God bless you" to someone how you are really saying "Let God's Will be done in your life". And the thing about God's Will is that it isn't always what we consider to be a "blessing" in our modern understanding of the word. We seem to associate blessings with the good things and forget that sometimes they aren't what we originally wanted.
So the thing about saying we are blessed is accepting God's Will in our lives and being content with it, even if it isn't exactly what we want at the time. I have to admit, I'm not always there and find myself discontented often (in my circumstances, not in Christ). But I feel like the closer I get to Him, the more content I become, and I guess the more blessed I am.
Thanks for this thoughtful series. I think the name perfectly reflects what I see in you. You always do seem to focus on the positive, often in times where I find it hard to. You are definitely a blessing in my life :)
Thank you for the kind words, Jessica. And thank you for adding more ideas for me to consider as I continue to process the meaning of being Blessed. Yes, that is all so true! And it reminds me other another point in the sermon series so far, which was how we define "The Kingdom of God" (as in "the meek shall inherit"). It is not a place, but a real-world spiritual state, of living full present with God in every moment. Something like that--I wish I had a pen in my purse that Sunday!
ReplyDeleteYou are a blessing to me too! : )
It sounds like an amazing series of sermons. Does your church post audio files of the sermons?
ReplyDeleteJessica, yes! I will email you with the info. : )
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