weary, but heart full

I have so missed blogging recently. As you can imagine, there were just a few things to be doing there at home, what with finishing up the end of the school year, spending a lot of time with DH's family to enjoy Auntie N and Uncle S and Sweetness's visit to CA, and then preparing for a month-long roadtrip, oh and trying to plan and prepare long-distance for the big family celebration for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. Blogging, by necessity, had to take the back seat. Actually, to make a more accurate metaphor, it was more flung out the car window at 90 mph.

Anyway, now that we are here in IL I want to make purposeful effort to resume blogging--because once you stop, it just gets harder and harder to start again. Kinda like exercising. Except for the whole moving your body and not eating chocolate at the same time part.

Can you tell I'm tired? I gotta tell you, I am beat. Truly, deeply tired. Weeks of busyness before the trip (or maybe it was more like 2 months--it all starts to blur together), and then the drain of driving long days and getting into our night stops too late (sometimes 10 pm, at which point we sometimes still had to eat something and then get everyone to bed) and trying to see too much on the way out (a national parksalooza!), and seeing some of our favorite people, but the whole pace just being pretty energetic overall.

And for some bizarre reason, about the second night of the trip, I started to wake up at about 6:30 a.m. every morning. We're talking before the children. When i was still completely exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep longer. The pattern is continuing here in IL, and so for example last night DH and I stayed up way too late, till about 1 a.m., and then I woke up before 7! (and don't forget, i'm still on CA time so that's more like 5 a.m.!) I think I have just been running on adrenaline too long, and it is hindering my sleep.

And now here at my parents' I have been sooooooo busy helping with sorting (more on that later), and helping get set up for the fabric sale my mom had today (more on that later too), and just the general taking care of kids too. of course my parents have been working hard since before we got here too, so I know they are exhausted too, but for me the end result was that i kinda lost it completely about 1 p.m and was practically crying I was just so tired (you know that horrible scratchy-achy all-nighter feeling? yeah, that was me today) and tried to nap but couldn't sleep. . .

and yet. . .

oh, the sweetness of lying down next to my little boy during that nap, and me being awake but him falling into a much-needed deep nap. my hand on his little tummy, him sprawled, arms over his head, sweet toddler cheeks so close to mine. . .

my husband being very patient with my little breakdown, helping me carry heavy things when I asked and taking over kid duties when I needed. Feeling likehe had my back a little on a day that was beating me down. . .

enjoying every single minute of the little things i am doing around here to be useful to my parents. seriously fun. handling family heirlooms, the freedom of releasing unneeded stuff to the world, the time with my mother and niece. . .

my kids, while of course being kids and having their not-so-great-moments, have really overall been so helpful. seriously, not only are they the best roadtrippers, even Smiley getting into the groove the second day, but they have been playing so nicely with minimal supervision. i have ignored them for hours on end, up in the attic, or lugging things from here to there, ot today being outside with the fabric sale. And while DH has been mainly around them, telecommuting (huge blessing--why we were able to come out for so long) from the family room and able to keep an eye/ear out for them, he has been able to sit and work for hours on end without much interruption, even with me elsewhere. They have been that helpful. . .

There are so many more little blessings and awarenesses i have experienced while here--i am now out of energy to type more.

I love being here, in my childhood home.

I love my children having the experience of my parent's house one last time. they are making some seriouly fun memories already.

I love being around my extended family.

I love being able to be helpful to my parents, since we live so far away that does not get to happen often.

I love the break from routine, and normal life.

I am sitting here exhausted, and seriously happy. we will be here for two more weeks, and then have the long trip back to CA. So in some ways, the visit has just begun! there is SO MUCH to do, as we are getting ready for a "downsizing" garage sale next weekend--this next week is going to go quickly. and then the following week we will be getting ready for the onslaught of my sisters and their families and then the big reunion and 50th wedding anniversay celebration--and then too quickly, it will seem I'm sure, we will be loading up and moving out on the road home.

It could be easy to think of all we need to do and get overwhelmed, and just feel more exhausted, but sitting here (when i should be trying to settle down for sleep) i am perfectly content and looking forward to it. And there are so many fun things I would love to share with you all, those of you who are still lingering after my sparse blogging as of late. So I will make a real effort to take time to get some of them down--because otherwise more things will keep coming, and I never will get them down, and this blog is part letter to family/friends and part personal journal, and so when I don't blog about things that have meaning at the time, I always wish I had.

So, there you go. oh, and if you are noticing the inconsistent capitalizaiton--i am using my mother's laptop, and her keys are *just* smaller enough that the right shift button is not where my finger expects it, and so half the time it does not catch. and I am too lazy at the moment to care! ; )

blessing to you all on this weekend!