Re-entry

We are back home from our roadtrip, it was fabulous overall, we are one of the most blessed families, all is well and it is good to be home.

But.

Oh, my goodness, the painful re-entry. 

1. stuff galore
First of all, we were crazy enough so blessed to bring home a small U-haul full of treasures from my parents' home.  Things hand-made by my great-grandfather, things that my grandmother used in the kitchen, things that were precious to my mother when she was a child.  Stuff I knew I could use, or that my daughters would love, or that was just too cool to let leave the family.  But this of course means that upon returning to our rinky-dink house I had to immediately jump into deep cleaning--we're talking high kitchen cupboards emptied all over the table and floor, high shelves purged and cleaned, storage containers emptied and shifted around--while all the stuff from our trip sat in bags and boxes around the living room, kitchen, deck, because I can't actually put things away until I make room for them.

This is actually fun.  You know I love purging unnecessary stuff, and bringing order to my little home spaces (always in my head the mantra location, location, location! so that things that do not get regular use are moved to where they are not using up high priority real-estate in my cupboards and on my shelves) and generally trying to simplify as much as possible.  So when I knew I would be bringing all these "new" things home with me from Illinois, I knew I would have to do a good de-cluttering of my own "old" things.  On the long drive home I started to mentally go through the inventory of our house and decide which long-held things could now be let go.  There are some things that have survived purges for years and years, but which are not particularly special to me, and which I can now happily replace with things I like better, or which are special to me, from the offerings of my mother's downsizing. 

And then some of the things I brought home I had actually wanted for a long time to help with in-house storage, and even tried to get on freecycle, ebay, and even etsy:  retro hard-side suitcases, metal tins, antique blue glass mason jars.*  So these are things that will immediately be useful--as soon as I clear off spaces and figure out what best is stored in them. 

And then there are some thing I brought home just to store until they might be needed.  Normally I am against this, in principle, because when you have a house as tiny as mine you just really can't hold on to everything in hopes it will be used in the future, and because we don't live in the same world as our grandparents did, and pretty much anything you *need* you can get your hands on inexpensively or even free.  So occassionally I give something away knowing that if I do happen to need it again, I can probably borrow it from someone, etc.  But some of the things in my parents' attic I just could not resist bringing home to store for the future, mainly costumes my mother made for my older sister and I from our musical days and Madrigals, a couple of prom dresses I designed and my mother made, etc.  Things the girls can grow into and might very well enjoy.

Then there are some things I really don't have use or space for, but I just could not let them go so easily.  Parts of a doll my grandma started to make.  My mother's old hardback Dick and Jane books, with almost pristine illustrations.  The little blue rocking chair that was mine as a little girl, and which was my mother's before me. 

And by the end, my Dear Husband and I started just chucking things into the U-haul knowing we would pass them on when we got home.  We had extra room in the trailer, and I just wanted the things to go to a good home. Music and art posters and prints from college--someone here on the Santa Cruz freeccyle is going to eat those UP.  Stuffed animals that were my favorites--we are letting the kids sleep with them a few times and then we will also try to freecycle them.  Toys from my childhood we will play with until the kids are tired of them and then we will pass them on to friends.

And so so so much more stuff I could tell you about, but I'll save for other posts. ; )  (No, really, I have some GREAT tidbits and photos!)

But I think you get the idea that my house looks like a disaster zone, and I am a little harried.

2. children letting all their own stuff hang out
My wonderful children, the seriously amazing road-trippers whom I practically ignored while in Illinois because I was always scuttling around in filthy eaves and handling fragile things and helping my parents think through their sorting, have officially come undone.

They have been so so so wonderful this whole time.  My kids SHINE when we are traveling, and they are overall DELIGHTFUL around other people, and were SO GREAT being pretty much unattended for days on end (ok, slight exaggeration because DH was working on his computer nearby and my sweet and capable niece was around them much of the time too, but STILL), and they ate unusual foods and they missed sleep and they were dragged around wherever their parents took them, and they didn't fight much and they shared and entertained themselves and played nicely and WERE SO GREAT.

And now all that greatness has become too much for them to sustain, and safely in their own little house they are letting all the rest of their junk spill out.

Ah, the precious darlings.  Good thing Mommy spent her first morning teatime at home reading up on her favorite blogs, and finding all kinds of good advice and encouragement for theraputic parenting.  One very helpful post, written about parenting kids with attachment issues and trauma, but which offers so much wisdom for regular old parenting particularly got my heart in the right place right when I needed it.  So, I am doing a pretty good job being loving and patient and redirecting and coming alongside and all that other good stuff.  Not perfect, but pretty good. I told the kids today that my two goals for the day were a) continue settling back into our home at a resonable pace, and b) enjoying one another.  With the emphasis on the latter.

And so our first few days home are very messy, but full of reminders about what stuff matters and what stuff doesn't. : ) 

Would you do me a favor if you read this?  Would you please consider quickly saying hi in the comments?  I have a very fun thing in mind to do with some of the beautiful things I am ready to let go of--a giveaway!--and I would like to know how many of you are still coming by. . . Thanks so much!

Hope all of you are having a blessed summer day, however you are spending it.


*ok, pathetically, this last item I realized I never packed!  They were in my dad's workshop so he and I talked about them, but I forgot to ask my mother, and that's why I did not move them to a place where I would remember to pack them. Sigh.  So I emailed my mother to suggest this would make a fabulous Christmas present later on, if she decides not to move them. ; )