totally great day--and not pregnant to boot

The past, oh, four days did not go at all like I had planned.  Coming home from the Day of Love I had what felt like a migraine going on, and pretty much had to lay down immediately.  I seriously felt battered all over my body, and could not figure it out--I mean, sure I had been working for 7 hours straight, but it was being a gopher and folding clothes and chatting with women, not exactly digging ditches, you know?  I even woke up Sunday morning all achy still, and headachy.  But then (get ready for TMI) I realized I was starting my period.  That explained everything--the headaches, the fatigue.  And you see, I was on the pill for the past 2 years, and am just now coming off.  (It was never the ideal choice, but one that did its job while we have tried to figure out what our long-term solution will be, the discussion of which I will save for another post.)  But for this week it meant I was getting the first real period I've had for almost a year.  I was on the mini-pill while I was still nursing Smiley, so when I weaned him last August I got my period back with a vengeance, and had a couple of real strong months, which got me waxing poetic and all, until I went on the regular pill and stopped having them.  This means this was only my third or fourth period since before I conceived Smiley.  So I'm still unused to them--and this time it seemed to take forever to come, so I was  starting to be genuinely concerned that God had blessed us yet again, despite other precautions (yet again).  I even started to get stressed about it (confession--part of the nervous energy I wrote about two weeks ago) from just wanting to KNOW for heaven's sake, so I went and got pregnancy tests.  I went through two tests that week I was so stressed, getting negative readings, but not quite trusting them, but finally getting peace from God.  So now, here comes the real confirmation--not pregnant!  And along with it comes the reminder that we really do think we are done having kids, and really do need to prayerfully consider what we think God wants us to do long-term.

So, anyway, Sunday I stayed home from church since I was feeling so poorly so early in the day, and was glad I did, since the backache and cramps hit around noon.  Not as bad as in my youth, but I was so glad I could sit around in my pj's all morning with warm drinks.  The headache was coming back with a vengenance too, and seemed to get worse when I had some dark chocolate raisins with my tea (noooooooooo!).  Ugh--I know chocolate is not good for migraines, but that's only for other people, not me, you know, and it's not like I even know these dehabilitating headaches are actually migraines, you know, they could just be really, really bad normal headaches that aren't affected by chocolate at all, you know.  Sigh.  Well, I guess I'll just have to eat more dark chocolate to figure it out.  All scientific-like, you know.

So, ANYWAY, I basically did not get anything done here at home all weekend, and then Monday a friend from long ago (Susan, it was Treencee!) came to visit for a few hours, and then I could not believe it but after lunch I got all sucked into a really unimportant new thing I am doing on the computer (the discussion of which I will also save for another post) and then I left to go to a Soul Kitchen meeting at 6, so that was pretty much my day, completely unproductive around the house for no good reason.  Ok, I was still bleeding heavily, and was a little crampy and backachy and headachy, but I could have been productive.  I think I was just rebelling against my own better sense. 

But it meant I woke up this morning still tired, still a little achy and headachy, and feeling glum for so much work wanting to be accomplished and so many days just recently "wasted."  I even pretty much piddled away the morning at the computer (doing some necessary stuff, but also just looking around).  I was on my way to another wasted day, when--well, I honestly don't know what happened.  I had a headache, did not feel like doing anything, and was glum.  But I got off my butt and between noon and nine o'clock:

--washed, then windexed, then painted most of the large windows in the living room (the divided lites and around).  I know you still have not seen the photos, but two of these windows are 6 feet by 11 feet.  That's a lot of window.

--washed the children's bedding and remade the beds

--planted new flowers in all my hanging pots and in half of the outside pots

--watered my flower garden (by hand)

--did two loads of laundry

--made the children meals and bathed them and put them to bed (DH"s men's group tonight, so I was a single mom all day/evening)

--washed dishes (ok, I did not get all of them done, but a full dishdrain is still worth something)

But BEST OF ALL I managed to stop being irritable, as I have been for the past several days, and was patient and loving with my kids, and was the kind of mom I want to be!

Why did all this great stuff happen?  Two reasons.  One, the kids were AMAZING today, and ate their lunch outside, down on the lower deck, and then played happily and nicely in various parts of the yard and on the backdeck the rest of the day.  Smiley came to help me with the gardening in the front yard at about 5:00, but before then was happy and well cared for by his big sisters, while I painted inside.  Seriously wonderful!  What a gift.  And I made sure they knew how much I appreciated it.  (They have been fighting more this past week, I think the normal stuff that happens after guests leave, but yucky--and Smiley often gets left out because of his age, even when the girls think they are including him, which leads him to, oh, kicking down their carefully constructed block towers and grabbing the people from their playhouses, etc.  Some of which he was even doing this morning. Which is why his ability to get along and follow along with his sisters this afternoon was such a blessing--so much so that I did not even put him down for a nap, because he never got cranky!)

The second reason why it was such a good day--getting my focus back on God!  Because while I wrote about it the other day, that doesn't mean I have been good about doing it, esp. with lots of rationale for why I can let myself off the hook for not doing it, like constant headaches and cramps and PMS.  And let's not forget the bleeding.  Why the heck do I have to be nice to you right now, little girl, since as you stand there and sass me I am bleeding profusely?  If I was bleeding this much from my arm you would not think about talking to me this way!  Yeah, I know--time to suck it up and be the Mom.  And you know what?  Even with the headache today and all the other stuff, I was at peace, and still got a lot done.  And it seemed to be just because I stopped focusing on myself (and my to do list) and focused on God and just started moving. 

Hmmmmm.  Despite whatever is going on in any day, maybe that really is the magic formula for things working out well:  turn towards God and start moving.