how i'm spending my last day(s)

I forgot, until blogs I read reminded me, that some people think the world is coming to an end tomorrow. 

Is that tomorrow morning, or tomorrow night?  Do I have one day left, or two?  Does God pay any attention to the International Date Line?  Would be nice to know, to prioritize my final activities. 

And is this going to be a pre-Tribulation kind of rapture end of the world?  You know, like in the "Left Behind" way.  In which case I would start giving away my worldly goods to friends who won't be joining me on the Jesus train.  Love you all--wish you were coming.  But if it's not going to be a big party for believers on the big train to Glory, and more like a doomsday scene ala 2012, then I'll just spend the day eating the best dark chocolate I have on hand, hugging my children, and waiting for the earth to swallow us up.

(and during my brief search to bring up that image, look what else I found:)

Heh. heh.

Ok, enough of the irreverence. 

The good thing about any crazy claim that the world is coming to an end is that it makes us stop and think--even if we immediately scoff at the idea, we did engage with the concept, however briefly.  Because to be honest, any assertion that the world is coming to an end. . . is true.  It is.  Or, I should say, it will.  Someday.  But I don't think we can ever be prepared with a specific date or time.  (A brief but succinct Biblical reasoning here, interestingly enough from the "Left Behind" authors.)

So, the world is someday going to end.  But you know what doomsday I expect sooner?  The collapse of America.  I know, I sound all extreme (esp. after that cartoon. heh.).  But this is a completely non-partisan opinion--all the leaders of our nation are making choices that just don't make sense, which are digging us into a pit I am not sure we will be able to dig out of.  America is still a baby nation, and the more I read about the history of the world, the more I know we are all part of one grand experiment, which might just fail. 

And you know what doomsday might come even sooner than that?  Whatever terrible and unexpected misfortune might strike our nation, our state, our town, our family.  I am sure some people in Japan thought their world might be at an end when the earthquake struck--I was just watching a documentary that said the "S" waves (the ones that cause all the damage) lasted more than 5 minutes.  That must have felt like eternity.  And of course the horrifying reality is that the lives of many people--many towns--abruptly ended that day.  Even with state-of-the-art early warning systems, the epicenter of the earthquake was so close that the people of Japan only had 60 seconds of warning.  They had no chance to really prepare.  And the tsunami warning gave people 20 minutes to evacuate--but a lot of the people could not get far, or did not know where to go to be safe.  The documentary said they imagine a lot of people were pulled back to sea when the wave retreated.  And that the nation would probably be having bodies wash back up on its shore for months to come. 

So horrible, so tragic.  So completely unexpected.

And then there are the strange, new lumps and spots showing up all over me and DH.  Both of us are at high risk for cancer, esp. melanoma.  We got checked out together once, about 8 years ago, but don't feel like we learned anything about our bodies, what to be concerned about, what to ignore.  Since then lots more interesting, unusual lumps and spots have joined the melee, and it's long time for us to get checked out by a doctor with better communication skills.  One of those things I keep meaning to do, but which I forget about in the day-to-day rush of life.  I seem to remember such things only when the offices are closed.   To be honest, maybe I have been forgetting because part of me does not want to know, if the truth is horrible to comprehend.  And yet, pretending my world might not come crashing down does not mean it won't. 

And then there is today.  Who knows that terrible accident might befall DH as he drives his 40 min. commute today, or any friends or family who are travelling, or which of my children might suffer an unexpected and unpreventable trauma.  You know the old, "you might get hit by a bus tomorrow so live for today" idea is really true.  We never know what tomorrow will bring.  We only have today. This moment.  Now.

So, how am I going to chose to spend my last (two?) days?

Well, first comes Japan Camp. ; )  But while it is on, I will try to delight in each of the children present, enjoying the unique ideas and qualities they each bring to the table.  I will try to be patient with their mistakes, their flaws, their seemingly endless fount of irritations.* ; )   I will celebrate with them.  I will be thankful for them, for their creativity, for their enthusiasm, for their childishness.   Then when our guests have gone, I'll keep the day low-key and family oriented.  I will be sure to cuddle and love on each of my children in turn.  I'll make sure to kiss them goodnight.  When DH comes home late from his men's event, I'll make sure he feels loved. ; )  And all through the day, I'll be doing all this with Christ at my side, aware of His love, thankful for His grace, only able to love these people who have been put in my life because of His love, which lives in me. 

And then tomorrow I'll wake up and start the loving all over again.  And I have a feeling I'll do the same Sunday morning. ; )

Ok, I won't be perfect at it.  But that's not the point--the point is the goal, the effort.  The striving for joy, the reveling in grace.  I've kept that quotation up at the top of my blog for a long time now, but that's because it continues to inspire me.  My life is this moment, these moments, all strung together.  I don't know how many moments I have, certainly not in this life I currently enjoy, so all I can do is live the fullest in each moment.

And that's not a huge, self-defeating concept, which is where my brain often takes it.  Living life to its fullest in this moment I have does not involve Martha Stewart-ish table settings or mouth-watering food, or sunsets on the beach, or the whole family one with nature in a creek or everyone laughing and giving loving looks while cuddled on the couch, or even us all being in a good mood at the same time. It means chosing to speak gently if possible, and give lots of loving touches and words, and to forgive quickly, and to always keep in mind what is most important right at this moment?  and then act on that.

And if I am wrong about the whole end of the world thing and tomorrow is really it, then I'll be in heaven and not washing one more dish or breaking up one more fight or wiping one more poopy butt.  Hallelujah!

See you on the other side.



*I'm talking about my children, not the others who come for the day.  Only our own children can push us over the edge so completely with their repetitious, ongoing tests of patience!