love to hear from you!

Well, my dear friends and family, it is always fun to see what posts spark people's interest and lead to comments.  I loved hearing what you are all working on this week!  But either Blogger is still having issues or our computer is struggling with cookies or something, because for several days now I can't leave comments on some blogs.  Not all of them, just some.  And I found out just now that mine is one of them!  How bizarre is that?  So here are my comments to that last post, just so you all know I read and appreciate them:

Susan, I am sure Luke will appreciate the "new" office when you are all done--for all the time he spends down there, your efforts are really worthwhile! I hear you about the old meds. Ugh. I am very sorry you have to do it, but surely it will feel good to have it gone. You have better things around with better memories.
Thanks for sharing your purging!

Stacy, hermit crab cages count.  And do write about your further purging on your own blog when you get it done--I will celebrate with you!

Gabe, I am so sorry you have so much to do, and we are just too far apart from eachother for me to offer to be helpful. : (  I will pray all goes well with all those things you mentioned--all big deals in themselves, rather overwhelming to consider all at once!  Esp. the baby and moving--I packed up and moved out here to CA when I was 8 mo. pregnant, so you have my full sympathy.  In, fact I am praying now, and will continue to do so until I hear otherwise!  Oh, and YAY on the leggos!!!!! 

Mom, I love it that you and Dad are enjoying the blessings of giving on freecycle--it feels so good, and I get a smile from thinking of you two being blessed as you bless others. : )  Don't worry, I am actually not stressing about your visit--you and Dad have seen our house at its very worst, when we first saw it!  But it is more that improvements have been going v.e.r.y. s.l.o.w.l.y. in the past couple of years, and so this visit--esp. Rebecca and her girls making what will probably be their *only* visit out here--is a really good excuse for getting us going.  All the things we are trying to do are things that we have been wanting to do for YEARS.  Might as well see what we can do before you come!

And YAY about Ligia!  : )

Rebecca, like I just said to Mom, your visit is an excuse.  I am so looking forward to you coming, and am not at all stressed about you seeing the house--it will be what it will be (but hopefully that will be better than it currently is!).  I am working on the bathroom door!!!  Have picked out the door hardware, just need to finalize the measurements and get it ordered--hope it comes in time for us to build the door and install it!  (or maybe we can put Dad to work the first day he arrives--hate to do that, but he might be just as eager as me to do it. ; )

By Rustica Hardware, a mom and pop shop in Utah

And Rebecca, it sounds like you have a LOT to do!  I hope you have a nice break without kids this next month, and get lots done.  I hear you about feeling guilty for working on your garage when so many people don't have houses [readers, Rebecca lives in Tuscaloosa, AL where they just had that terrible tornado a few weeks back] but what a perfect time to do it--every moment you will be thinking of your blessings and being thankful instead of grumbling about having to do it! 

OK, now I'm off to drop off some freecycle myself and go buy some flowers for my garden!  Gotta get those hanging pots full of beauty and back up in their places!

(It just occurred to me, Rebecca, that it is a little weird me telling you all the things I am doing to fix up my house before you see it--normally we do so but try to pretend that it has been like this forever So when you do come, just pretend the clean and neat house (as much as it will be) represents the way we really live, and not just when we have company.  ; )

All of you reading, thanks for stopping by!  But thanks even more for sharing a little bit of yourselves with me--that adds the girlfriend element I love!  Have a great day, however you are spending it.

week flying by. . . stuff flying out the door

I am in CRAZY productive mode this week, folks!  It is kinda not good,  because I am riding on a medium level of stress, and have bitten off all my nails again, and am having trouble sleeping at night.  But I'll just focus on the good--such as painting my bathroom!  and sorting through the kids' toys!  and finally getting to work in my garden, which has been neglected since last Fall!  And purging this year's homeschool accumulation!  And going through a whole groccery sack of unopened junk mail! Not bad for two days of work.  Oh, and in there I did feed my children and meet with our homeschool liason, and lead Bible study discussion too. 

I actually don't know where this stress is coming from.  I am very excited about my sister and her girls and my parents coming to visit in a month's time, yes, and am wanting use their visit to get a lot of things done, but that should not be keeping me awake at night.  My in-laws are coming this Friday and staying for 4 days, which might be part of it--possibly a lot of it.  (That's a loooooooong time, people.)  But my MIL and I have emailed this week, and she knows I am in "go" mode and sounded very supportive and glad to let me work while she takes charge of the kids, so it could be a great weekend. 

But I'll just run with it--whatever is going on with me, I'll just choose to focus on the positive, which at this moment means getting a whole heck of a lot done. 

If anyone wants to join me in the purging fun, please do!  I was going to make a separate post about it, since my goal is to get rid of ONE HUNDRED THINGS this week!  But frankly, I don't want to take the time to list the things in a blog post like I have in the past--I'm just getting it all OUT OF HERE.  If I counted all those pieces of paper I handled yesterday individually, ala FlyLady, I am sure I easily met my goal.  But I am being tougher--and that big bag of mail counts as "one."  But still, I would say I am nearing the half-way mark already!  Esp. because I WILL count all the plastic pieces to an old, broken game that I held onto for years, hoping someone on freecycle somewhere could use them. . . I finally threw them in the trash yesterday, and since I was digging them out of the toy baskets individually, I am counting them individually.  This is a big deal for me--the pieces were for a game that was very cool, and could be added to someone else's set. . . but without knowing who to give them to, they are just junk making my house more cluttered.   I tried to give them a second life, but now it's good to let them go.

And it feels GREAT!  That's my goal this week--to just get rid of the broken things hanging over me, the things no one likes or needs, etc.  The cheap leggings worn by two girls which would be fine for #3 except for the small holes, which could be repaired, but that would involve making the time to do it, and not even being sure of the outcome (since I am not a seamstress)--gone to a freecycle bag.  The bazillion free and cheap toys the kids end up bringing home from everywhere from church to birthday parties--gone to a freecycle "treasure box" or my Operation Christmas Child bin under the house (this counts as gone, since it will be when we assemble our boxes in the fall).  All the adorable artwork the girls have done this year--photographed and gone to the trash/recycling.  All the adorable tops friends have passed on to me in the past three years that are cute but ultimately just not my style--gone, to our church clothing drive for needy women in our community.

Let me tell you, people, it's freedom.  FREEDOM I say!

So, anyone out there wish to join in the thrill of release from the stuff that is weighing you down?  Share your personal triumphs this week in the comments!   Or if you get into "go" mode yourself and do something that has been weighing on your psyche for a long time--let us know your victory, and we will celebrate together!

Hope you are all having a great week!

   

pretty much sums it up

Photo credit: Kelly Beale

 

This Time

Finding myself still thinking about yesterday's topic. . .



Our sins lie behind us, all the weeds we have sown
How well they remind us, what we are on our own
But we are not on our own
God never leaves us alone
All our sins are forgiven
Everyday we get to choose

This time
This is what counts
This is what our life is about
This time
No backwards glance
Now is the time
This is our chance to make this time
This time
This time
All that God wants it to be.







Yes, I do have a cheesy yet powerful '80's song for any occassion.

how i'm spending my last day(s)

I forgot, until blogs I read reminded me, that some people think the world is coming to an end tomorrow. 

Is that tomorrow morning, or tomorrow night?  Do I have one day left, or two?  Does God pay any attention to the International Date Line?  Would be nice to know, to prioritize my final activities. 

And is this going to be a pre-Tribulation kind of rapture end of the world?  You know, like in the "Left Behind" way.  In which case I would start giving away my worldly goods to friends who won't be joining me on the Jesus train.  Love you all--wish you were coming.  But if it's not going to be a big party for believers on the big train to Glory, and more like a doomsday scene ala 2012, then I'll just spend the day eating the best dark chocolate I have on hand, hugging my children, and waiting for the earth to swallow us up.

(and during my brief search to bring up that image, look what else I found:)

Heh. heh.

Ok, enough of the irreverence. 

The good thing about any crazy claim that the world is coming to an end is that it makes us stop and think--even if we immediately scoff at the idea, we did engage with the concept, however briefly.  Because to be honest, any assertion that the world is coming to an end. . . is true.  It is.  Or, I should say, it will.  Someday.  But I don't think we can ever be prepared with a specific date or time.  (A brief but succinct Biblical reasoning here, interestingly enough from the "Left Behind" authors.)

So, the world is someday going to end.  But you know what doomsday I expect sooner?  The collapse of America.  I know, I sound all extreme (esp. after that cartoon. heh.).  But this is a completely non-partisan opinion--all the leaders of our nation are making choices that just don't make sense, which are digging us into a pit I am not sure we will be able to dig out of.  America is still a baby nation, and the more I read about the history of the world, the more I know we are all part of one grand experiment, which might just fail. 

And you know what doomsday might come even sooner than that?  Whatever terrible and unexpected misfortune might strike our nation, our state, our town, our family.  I am sure some people in Japan thought their world might be at an end when the earthquake struck--I was just watching a documentary that said the "S" waves (the ones that cause all the damage) lasted more than 5 minutes.  That must have felt like eternity.  And of course the horrifying reality is that the lives of many people--many towns--abruptly ended that day.  Even with state-of-the-art early warning systems, the epicenter of the earthquake was so close that the people of Japan only had 60 seconds of warning.  They had no chance to really prepare.  And the tsunami warning gave people 20 minutes to evacuate--but a lot of the people could not get far, or did not know where to go to be safe.  The documentary said they imagine a lot of people were pulled back to sea when the wave retreated.  And that the nation would probably be having bodies wash back up on its shore for months to come. 

So horrible, so tragic.  So completely unexpected.

And then there are the strange, new lumps and spots showing up all over me and DH.  Both of us are at high risk for cancer, esp. melanoma.  We got checked out together once, about 8 years ago, but don't feel like we learned anything about our bodies, what to be concerned about, what to ignore.  Since then lots more interesting, unusual lumps and spots have joined the melee, and it's long time for us to get checked out by a doctor with better communication skills.  One of those things I keep meaning to do, but which I forget about in the day-to-day rush of life.  I seem to remember such things only when the offices are closed.   To be honest, maybe I have been forgetting because part of me does not want to know, if the truth is horrible to comprehend.  And yet, pretending my world might not come crashing down does not mean it won't. 

And then there is today.  Who knows that terrible accident might befall DH as he drives his 40 min. commute today, or any friends or family who are travelling, or which of my children might suffer an unexpected and unpreventable trauma.  You know the old, "you might get hit by a bus tomorrow so live for today" idea is really true.  We never know what tomorrow will bring.  We only have today. This moment.  Now.

So, how am I going to chose to spend my last (two?) days?

Well, first comes Japan Camp. ; )  But while it is on, I will try to delight in each of the children present, enjoying the unique ideas and qualities they each bring to the table.  I will try to be patient with their mistakes, their flaws, their seemingly endless fount of irritations.* ; )   I will celebrate with them.  I will be thankful for them, for their creativity, for their enthusiasm, for their childishness.   Then when our guests have gone, I'll keep the day low-key and family oriented.  I will be sure to cuddle and love on each of my children in turn.  I'll make sure to kiss them goodnight.  When DH comes home late from his men's event, I'll make sure he feels loved. ; )  And all through the day, I'll be doing all this with Christ at my side, aware of His love, thankful for His grace, only able to love these people who have been put in my life because of His love, which lives in me. 

And then tomorrow I'll wake up and start the loving all over again.  And I have a feeling I'll do the same Sunday morning. ; )

Ok, I won't be perfect at it.  But that's not the point--the point is the goal, the effort.  The striving for joy, the reveling in grace.  I've kept that quotation up at the top of my blog for a long time now, but that's because it continues to inspire me.  My life is this moment, these moments, all strung together.  I don't know how many moments I have, certainly not in this life I currently enjoy, so all I can do is live the fullest in each moment.

And that's not a huge, self-defeating concept, which is where my brain often takes it.  Living life to its fullest in this moment I have does not involve Martha Stewart-ish table settings or mouth-watering food, or sunsets on the beach, or the whole family one with nature in a creek or everyone laughing and giving loving looks while cuddled on the couch, or even us all being in a good mood at the same time. It means chosing to speak gently if possible, and give lots of loving touches and words, and to forgive quickly, and to always keep in mind what is most important right at this moment?  and then act on that.

And if I am wrong about the whole end of the world thing and tomorrow is really it, then I'll be in heaven and not washing one more dish or breaking up one more fight or wiping one more poopy butt.  Hallelujah!

See you on the other side.



*I'm talking about my children, not the others who come for the day.  Only our own children can push us over the edge so completely with their repetitious, ongoing tests of patience!

this week thus far--not according to plan

Wow, after a week of relative relaxation and God-bliss, life this week has suddenly jumped back into hectic-sick-dry-inside stride.  Nothing this week seems to be going according to (my) plan.

Yes, most of us have a bad cold (4 with runny nose, 2 with slight fever, 3 with mild coughs--but still all doing quite well under the circumstances) which started late Monday.  The older two were feeling poorly enough yesterday that we stayed home from martial arts and music--the first time this has happened all year, which is ironic, since it was the last music lesson of the school year.  I was knocked out pretty badly yesterday, but God is good, and I was feeling almost completely well today.

Which was good, because this week is Japan Camp here at our home!  I've been meaning to write about my homeschool camps--and surely will, one of these days!  This week luckily our camp days happened to be Monday, today and tomorrow--just perfectly squeezed the sickness in the off-days.  Lest you think I am being inconsiderate in exposing other children to our sickness, Monday we had camp not knowing we were all coming down with something, and this morning I checked with my dear Becky to make sure she was comfortable with the possible germ sharing today.  She was completely unfazed.  Really, her girls are more like cousins to my kids than friends, and what are colds among cousins?  ; )  Tomorrow will be fun, with a party to celebrate the official last day of school--which does not actually mean anything, since both Becky and I homeschool year-round (another thing I'll write about eventually), but it's nice to give the kids a sense of the passing of the year.

But Japan Camp has not been as successful so far as China Camp and Redwood Camp were, in March and April.  My not feeling up to par was part of it, and also I think the "camp" novelty has worn off a bit for our friends and it feels more like school (which it most definitely is, and then some!) and less like fun (which is also most definitely is! but you know how kids are when things start to smack of learning).  It's probably the time of year too, and the fact that it has been a rainy week, so the kids were inside our tiny house from 11-3 without change of scenery.  It's probably too that I was not quite as creative so far with this camp, and so they have done a lot of coloring so far (Japanese figures in historical dress we will cut out to make paper puppets, with which we will enact a Japanese folktale) and worksheets, which is not nearly the variety of activities as we have done with previous camps.  The end result of the coloring will be fabulously creative, and the kids will really like it, but in the meantime I think it has been fun but yet a little boring too, you know?  Ironically, they have been taking FOREVER with their art, which is great on one hand, but also means there has not been as much time for other things, which might have made the camp feel more varied to them and more productive to me. . . .

But all is not lost!  Tomorrow I'll just get my best game on, and we will make origami and read stories and drink green tea and eat Japanese snacks (and maybe be joined by more kids and moms--let's hope the sun shines tomorrow, so we don't have to be inside the whole time) and we will (hopefully) end the week on a really positive note.  And then, since we did not touch on all the topics I think we should have this week, I have already decided to have Japan Camp Part 2, where we take a day or so to wrap up--that's the beauty of homeschooling, the flexibility. It will all turn out in the end--so I should not focus on how so far Japan Camp has been slightly disappointing for everyone, but make tomorrow fun and go from there!

And then my Dear Husband started work on one of our long-awaited home improvement projects and spent much of last weekend working on it. . . and then came the rain, and now we are looking at a weekend that is booked, from Friday night to Sunday dinner.  Sigh.  Here just when my man was building up steam, he is being stopped by other things, things that have to be attended, that are worthwhile, but which will keep him from getting things done that I was really, truly hoping could be done before my family comes to visit at the beginning of July.  Not many weekends between now and then, and so losing one whole weekend really sets us back. Bummer.

And then, that jubilation of spirit has finally passed, like I knew it would at some point, but I miss it.  Of course, I know the feelings I have in a day are mostly choice--we can choose to be joyful, no matter what!  And if we are joyful, how can we not feel God near?  So I'm going to work on that tomorrow--joy and thanks.  In the midst of everything else--despite everything else.

Hope you are all having a good week, wherever you are!

Retro beauties

Fascinating collection! 

And, as you can imagine, not necessarily something you want to look at in front of the kids.  (Mommy, why is it always windy when they are taking pictures of those ladies?)

But still, I like the innocence of these images, both the befores and afters.  They are glorifications of the female body, but without stripping the female--of her Selfhood.  Not degrading, but sassy and fun.   

In fact, I want a pic of ME like that.  Don't laugh--it can be done:

This is my cousin Stacia.  At different times these were her facebook profile pics.  Yowza!!!!

That is really her, just cleverly transformed into a retro pin-up.  Yes, she is gorgeous naturally.  Yes, she is naturally curvy, and that really is her hair.  Yes, she is a swing dancer and lives in LA, and clearly knows all kinds of creative retro people.  Still, I know for a fact that is really her looking so, so, so amazingly amazing--which means maybe someday it could be really me. 

I would pay a large amount of money to some skilled photographer to do this for me.

Um, honey?  Sixteenth anniversary present?  (nudge, wink)

Week of Blogging Day Seven: Dancing again

Hello my dear readers!

I made it!  Seven posts in seven days--fun, and it TOTALLY woke up my brain, in a good way.  I have been finding words again, and that feels so good. I mean, talking with Becky yesterday I actually said the word "incongruous" and it even sorta made sense in context.  But of course immediately after I said it, with some sense of triumph, I had to pause and ask her, is that a word?  So the brain is grinding back to life, but haltingly.

Some of you might have noticed too how I was squeaking in most of those posts at the eleventh hour--literally.  Ah, well, so the blogging did not happen during decent hours, but it happened, and was good for me, and was fun.  And now it will be back to the normal, completely random and often infrequent posting schedule.

This morning it is actually pretty fun to find myself, one week from the start of this blogging fest, in pretty much the same place heart-wise as I began.  I'm a little tired today--stayed up too late but did not get to sleep in, kids also tired (they have been staying up too late too, but at least for good reasons, like Daddy reading an exciting school book to them) and so we are all having to work to be gentle and patient in word and spirit with one another.  But that's ok, because my heart is singing anyway--just am feeling so loved by the ever-present, ever-faithful God, here where I am in all life's and my imperfections.

And I stumbled upon a certain song this morning, that I have not heard in a while, which led to more songs, which led to dancing.  I would love to share some with you.

Rich Mullins, thank you.  Image found here

So here are the songs of my heart today, all of them by the late Rich Mullins, dedicated to Susan (who also can't keep from singing), Becky (who shares longings of my heart), and Jessica (who also dances):


If I Stand

And there's a loyalty that's deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegiance
I owe only to the giver
Of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home


Ready For the Storm

And when You take me by the hand
And You love me, Lord, You love me
And I should have realized
I had no reasons to be frightened
Oh I am ready for the storm
Yes sir ready
I am ready for the storm


Creed

An Apostles' Creed you can dance to! And with my beloved hammer dulcimer no less. What's not to love?


Step by Step (live)

"God takes the junk of our lives and he makes the greatest art in the world out of it. . . "

I will seek you in the morning,
And I will learn to walk in your ways,
And step by step you'll lead me,
And I will follow you all of my days.

Week of Blogging Day 6: I'll read a story by this Author any day

God is just so good.  So, so good.

And He tells the BEST stories.  And some of them are unfolding right before our eyes.

Vanya has a family. And they have a new blog!  Yay and yay!  This deserving child, who so badly wanted to be claimed, not only has what looks like a loving family, but we get to follow along on the adventure of his rescue.  I love it!!!!

Now, those of you who had prayed for him, please do not stop.  There appear to be many hurdles still to overcome, such as the nation of the Ukraine possibly halting all international adoption for a period of reorganization, which could take months or years!  He is not out of danger, and the family will undoubtedly have to jump through a lot more hoops to finally bring him home--but what a miracle that so far things are working out according to Plan.

OK, ok, actually, I do believe God's plan covers all things, the seemingly-unfair and wrong ones as well as the amazingly satisfying ones. Not every child will be rescued--a horrible but true fact.   Not every orphan is going to have earthly parents--and maybe not every orphan is intended to.  We live in a world corrupted by sin--and every day through our God-given free will people all over the world choose actions that hurt others, that make the world a worse place.  Not every story has a happy ending--at least not to our limited scope and understanding.  But the Author of all creation has not forgotten any of those who wait, nor has he overlooked those who suffer.  His eternal story is something we can't comprehend, but I trust in His promise to "father the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5) and "defend the oppressed" (Psalm 10:18)--and so I can't wait to hear the complete story in heaven someday. 

Until then, I love stories like these--adopting children is not easy, and not everyone is called to do it.  But it is loving, and just, and merciful, and right, and good, and the parents who do choose this path are making the world better--it feels like they are helping pull humanity back one small step from the edge of the abyss of apathy.

And I love sharing them with you. 

If you have  stories that are "true. . . noble. . . right. . . pure. . . lovely. . . admirable. . . excellent or praiseworthy" (Philippeans 4:8) please share them with me too!
   

Week of Blogging Day 5: ideas and a photo

Isn't it nifty?  Image from Cottage Living, found here.

My older sister Rebecca and her two daughters will be coming out with my parents to visit us this summer--their first and possibly only time, as they are coming all the way from Alabama.  I am so excited!  So while we have been crazy busy this Spring, we are also trying to finish up a few home improvements that will make their stay more comfortable--like putting a door on the bathroom. 

Yes, I have mentioned before that our house has no interior doors, but I know that is a fact that does not really sink in until you come to stay.  Oh, wait, there is technically a door on the bedroom closet.  But there is no door on the bedroom--and no way to add one, given how tiny the doorway is.  We could have hung a curtain, but actually like how the rooms flow without it.  And since the kids have all grown up being so close to the noise and light from the kitchen, they sleep very well at night despite it.  From the bedroom you enter the bathroom or the shower room, both of which have curtains hung in the doorways.  Curtains that toddlers can eagerly fling aside in a flash, which is why when any guests are using either private room, I keep the kids out of the bedroom entirely--a good safe buffer zone to ensure privacy and help my guests feel safe doing their business.

But a door on the bathroom would be ideal, of course.  And while we will not be able to begin the bathroom remodel until after our guests leave, adding a door is something we might be able to do before they come. Retrofitting doors in this tiny house is literally a tough fit, and so we think the best solution for at least the bathroom will be a sliding barn door mechanism, like the one in the photo above.  The door does not have to be built into the wall, or need swinging room.  We will have to remove the door off the bedroom closet and replace it with a curtain, so when the bathroom door is slid open it will cover the closet, and when it is shut the closet curtain will be seen (the two narrow doorways are side by side with very little room in between, and no room on either side).  It might get tricky at bedtime, when kids are trying to get into the closet for their pj's while others are trying to get into the bathroom to brush their teeth--but we will figure out a way to make it work. . . .    

Our door will be made of redwood, of course.  And our barn door hardware will be something more antique looking--they come in oil rubbed bronze, which we like and suits our house.  Copper would be sweet!  Of course whenever it is done I will post photos for you all to see--but in the meantime, I love looking at cool home images for ideas.

I love the green chalkboard paint too! 

P.S. I know you all have been anxiously awaiting the house photos I promised.  I took photos and only waited to post them because the photo software was acting up.  But just the other night we had the entire data drive crash--the one with all our music and photos.  WAAAAAAAHHHHH!  DH is working to see if we can retrieve the data.  He does have a back-up, but he is not sure how recent it is, and while I thought he had backed everything up this past Jan (regrettable to lose several months of photos, but not as painful) he has a suspicion that his last full backup was one year ago.  Oh, I really and truly hope not!!!!!!  To lose the photos for half of Smiley's life thus far. . . : (   I hope I can soon tell you that it all worked out fine and we were able to retrieve the data, but until then, no house photos.

Week of Blogging Day 4: Baby Sweetness Update

I just thought I would give a quick update on our niece "Sweetness":

--She is out of the hospital and "home" with her parents, DH's sister and her husband (Auntie N and Uncle S).  Amazingly, she went home right around the same time she would have been born!

--Today she is 6 months old (2 months corrected) and weighs almost 10 lbs! 

--She is still on oxygen, and still has "Brady's" but is overall doing well--despite teething!

--And the potential eye issues she was facing seem to be no longer be a concern!  Yay!

--Their little family is still living in someone's condo in Colorado Springs for now, still unsure about their long-term living situation, but Uncle S. went back to India for his work and to move their things out of their old apartment and into storage, since it does not look like they will be heading back to India anytime soon--Sweetness' health is just too fragile, and will be for possibly several more years.  As Auntie N. told me, Sweetness' lungs are still so vulnerable that a cold could be life-threatening.   : ( 

--While Uncle S. was in India for several weeks, DH's mom went out to CO to stay with her daughter and grand-daughter, and I heard it was a true blessings from Auntie N., as Sweetness needs lots of attention.

--We hope to see them this summer, but not sure it will happen (not with gas at $5 a gallon!).  At least we Skype every so often, so we can see Sweetness in full adorable baby action.  Oh, and to say hello to her parents.  Whom we also love.  But nothing would be nicer than to finally get to hold her. : )

Happy Mother's Day to all of you Moms--May you feel the fullness of God's blessings this weekend. : )

Week of blogging Day 3: Step Aside, Mr. Darcy

Don't know if any of you noticed, but Netflix was not one of the things I gave up for Lent this year.  Unlike recent past years, it did not feel like an issue, something I should give up.  And there were things in the queue that we were using for our homeschool studies.  And my last few months of ill feeling and lethargy affected my brain, and I have not had the mental energy and focus for much reading, so my psychological escapes have been juvenile fiction (mainly screening books as potential homeschool supplements, so books about growing up during the Chinese Cultural Revolution, or "Heroes of the Faith", or "Dear America" titles--interesting, worthwhile, easy) and movies.  Esp. instant downloads from Netflix. 

Instant downloads are, as my dear Rosa once said, like movie dumpster diving. You don't have much to choose from, and often end up trying out something you definately would not have brought home from Blockbuster.  But that's also the beauty of it--the luxury of being able to test out a movie to see if, yes, I guess it really did deserve only two stars by its reviewers but not spending extra money or effort to do so.  Granted, there are some excellent titles available for instant download too--but most of them I have already seen, and/or are not appropriate for me to watch when the kids are awake.

In fact, that last criteria has been the #1 determinant recently in my movie selections.  Because during the past month or so I have been sitting down and watching 20-30 minutes of a movie while I have my tea and a snack (the 4:00 sustenance that will tide me over through the making of dinner and the bedding of children, since DH and I usually eat together when he is home and the kids are in bed), while the kids are settled down for naps/quiet reading time, which these days is usually somewhere around 3-5pm.  But since the two older girls are reading on the bed only a few feet from the computer desk (here in our living room/master bedroom combination suite), I have to be very selective in what I watch.  It can't have anything inappropriate visually--language does not matter so much since I am using headphones to listen, but generally the two go hand in hand--and in fact I don't even want it to look interesting, since I want the girls to read and not be distracted by the screen. 

So--in 30 minutes increments--I have watched Note by Note: the Making of Steinway L1037, about the making of Steinway concert grand pianos, and A Man Named Pearl about a self-taught topiary artist in the deep south--both excellent documentaries.  Then there was Kings of Pastry, about bakers competing for the highest honor that can be earned in France for their profession, and They Came to Play, about amateur pianists competing for the highest honor that can be earned in the world for their "hobby." And All in This Tea, about a man trying to find the best teas in China.  And The Lottery, a fascinating look at a few charter schools in NYC.  All very interesting documentaries, and worth watching, and fairly uninteresting, visually.

But I am running out of titles that seem safe, that I can put on for a while without threat of unexpected and unwelcome images.  I wish there was a Netflix category labeled "People Standing Around Saying Interesting Things"--because those are the ideal naptime movies.  Guess Who's Coming to Dinner was a winner in this category (although I do find Sidney Poitier quite visually stimulating).  I need to find more--Driving Miss Daisy was a good if familiar one.  I'll have to see if they have Inherit the Wind. . . nope, not as an instant download.  Too bad--a movie about standing around (or sitting) and talking if there ever was one.

But that actually brings me to the second quality I am looking for in movies these days--they can't require too much brainpower.  Honestly, I have been using all my available white matter for schooling and parenting, and that's why I've been lean on the grown-up reading and even blogging.  So not only do my movies have to be visually unstimulating, but they also have to be interesting/meaningful and yet easy to follow.  I guess another good Netflix category for me would be "Movies for the Doddering Intellectual." 

This lack of mental resources was why I had not heretofore tested out one particularly promising naptime genre--period pieces, esp. slow and proper BBC interpretations of Austen and Eliot and Bronte.  Somewhat visually interesting to the girls, what with all the large skirts and riding of horses, but repetitious and nicely slow-paced. But in my mind, I just kept imagining all the words they must contain, all those brilliantly subtle speeches and proper inquiries and polite assurances for which British mini-series are famous--that and their attention to historically accurate locations, clothing, and teeth.  By naptime my head is usually already too full of words--so a movie that would require me to be listening carefully to catch those quick turns of phrase and catch the meaning in a ponderous lecture. . . gah, that's when Steinways start to look really good.

But an amazing change has come over me this last week--the release from school pressures and deadlines I am feeling all of a sudden has re-energized not only my body and spirit, but my mind.  And I am so glad!  Because I just last week finished watching a wonderful BBC mini-series, North & South, and have a new man crush:

photo from Richard Armitage online

Richard Armitage as John Thornton.  Rrrrrrrawr!  He is a handsome man, but it is really his acting that smolders.  I highly recommend this one to any of you who enjoy a good BBC period production!

So I thought I had unexpectedly found my new Mr. Darcy, until DH and I watched another instant download together the other night, Ip Man, a martial arts film based upon real-life events from the Japenese occupation of China.  Lots of choreographed, stylized fighting, yawn, but overall a good story.  But the reason I mention it, is because John Thornton did not stay on the top of my list for long:

Donnie Yen as Ip Man

Hellllllooooooo Master Ip.  I now have my Ultimate Dream Movie Husband.  Handsome, sexy, traditional, humble, gentle, patient, intelligent, wise, just, merciful, strong, loving to his wife, and completely invincible in a ten-to-one brawl.  Did I mention sexy?

Definitely not tea-time material.

Week of Blogging Day 2: really short story

Two nights ago our new next-door neighbors lost their little dog--Willa had dug a hole under the fence and escaped and was last seen running down our fairly busy road in the early evening when lots of cars were still going back and forth.  I was just coming home from a friends' with the kids and pizza (dollar cheese slices day) and was able to put Sunny in charge of serving dinner while I helped search, first on foot and then with the car, for probably an hour.  I had to stop helping when it was time to get the kids into bed, and once they were, we prayed for Willa's safe return.  Not one minute after I left their bedside the neighbor called me excitedly from over the fence--they had found the dog.  So glad. 

Yesterday morning the neighbor came by with a thank-you gift for my help and concern: a solar-powered rotating prism--a rainbow maker!  So this morning when the morning sunlight was streaming through the bedroom window, I brought it in and hung it for the kids--their response to the myriad of small circling rainbows was so cute.  Ah, pure childish delight. So sweet of the neighbor, and such a perfect gift for our family (not battery powered! small!  fascinatingly educational!). 

But my favorite part was getting to love on the new neighbors in a way that they would feel.

Week of Blogging Day 1: LOVE me some Jesus

My dear readers, whomever of you have patiently hung around to see if I would ever post again! 

Let's just say, life the past several months has not been usual.  Lingering illness, glycemic issues and food experiments, crazy CRAZY school life, feeling most of the time that I am barely keeping my head above water. 

I think I am not the only one going through such a phase--Stacy, I'm thinking of you--and most of my in-town friends have been dealing with similar things. 

But it is over!!!!!  Officially as of last Saturday afternoon, and for sure this upcoming Sunday.  I have been wanting to share so many things with you all for the past couple of months, and have a handful of abandoned, half-finished posts waiting for attention, and a head and heart full of things I can't wait to tell you about.  Some silly, some beautiful, some probably stupid and writing them will be more like purging the mental cache than adding something meaningful to the world. . . but I'm not going to think about that, I'm just going to make a goal of blogging EVERY DAY for the next week.  Starting today, Weds.  Which my "neat-package" brain does not like (Monday is of course the appropriate day to begin a week of anything), BUT anyone who knows FlyLady knows Wednesday is Anti-Procrastination Day, and so thus the perfect day to start a delayed week of anything. ; )

So I'm going to jump in right where I am, and share what's in my heart and mind this morning--those old posts I will finish when I can and you all will just have to follow the jumps in time and sequence.  This is, of course, no demand.  But those of you who seem to like my ramblings, if you have some free time and a cup of your favorite hot beverage, please stop by for some girlfriend time!  There just might be some tidbit that gives you a smile or a boost. 

Oh, and I want you all to know that I pray for you!  My dear readers--family, friends, blog-friends, regulars, lurkers--I find myself thinking about you all at various times of the week (usually in the shower, or washing dishes, for some reason, and when I can't sleep at night), and I pray for you.  And sometimes I learn one of you have been praying for me--thank you!  By all means, let's spread the love!

And that's what I have to write about this morning.  Several of you have asked if I ever got to have Teatime with Jesus.  Yes, I did, (English breakfast with milk and a huge dark chocolate caramel pecan turtle. Oh, yes.) and it was lovely.  Totally heart there with Him, savoring every moment.  The Lented wrap-up is one of the things I want to write about in a separate post, but let me just say that it left me completely hungry for God, for Jesus, for the Holy Spirit.  I just can't get enough of Him in all His Triune glory this week, and BOY is that a welcome feeling!  I don't know about you all, but this has been a fairly dry year--longer?  can't remember--and while God has been active and present in my life throughout, I have been meh about Him (I am being ashamedly honest here, folks).  I have not longed for His word.  I have not been interested in musical worship much.  I have somehow stopped reading the Bible with my kids (used to be a breakfast ritual for years, even if not daily) and we stopped memorizing new verses.  I have been praying, but often rotely.  Somehow I let the daily experience of God fall out of our lives, and I am thinking I see fallout from that in myself and in my family life. 

How did it happen?  When did it happen?  I am not sure, but the notable thing is that this dry spell has been oddly comfortable.  Comfortably dusty and, yes, numb.  Like when I wrote about thinking that sitting down had become a problem for me, so I was going to try to remedy it through Lent--sitting feels really good.  Really comfortable.  Sure, I'm stiff when I get up, but that's ok, because it will feel fine when I sit down again soon.  Sure, I wish I was not out of breath after just walking 20 feet briskly, but I'll catch my breath once I sit down.  Sure, my body kind of even wants to move, but that urge will pass once I sit down again.  Lethargy begets more lethargy. 

And there are even legitimate reasons for the lethargy--but at some point, I still have to make a choice to break it, no matter how hard it seems.  And of course, as soon as I do, the body might be a little less mobile than usual, and the muscles get tired and sore faster, but the next day when I listen to my body, its aches tell me. . . that felt great.  let's do more.  The urge to sit diminishes.  And so, if I am disciplined, using energy leads to more energy, and soon I am back to feeling right with my physical self.

The spiritual life is no different.  I don't know how or why I started spiritually sitting down all the time, but I am sure there was legitimate reason--these last few months of overwhelming unusualness make it understandable.  But still, regrettable.  Do any of you remember that old poem, "The Difference," which I just posted?  That pretty much sums up what has happened, I assume.  The days are full, the nights are short, there are always things to do, or ways to escape from them even though I shouldn't, and my time with God is the first thing squeezed out of the day.  Which turns into a week.  Which turns into a life pattern.

So Hallelujah that spell has been broken!  Just like I am moving more, and longing to move more, so my spirit is wide open with aching for God, and wanting to experience more God, in all His Persons.

And I'm feeling good*.

This morning I got everybody taken care of, sat down with my tea and breakfast, and started reading the updates from the blogs on my sidebar.  One of the blogs introduced me to a new one, and when I opened the blog page, it started to play music.  Now, honestly, I don't like it when I get music thrust at me from blogs. I usually don't have my speakers on anyway, but when I do, I turn the sound down while I read.  It's just distracting, even if the music is good.  For some strange Reason this morning, the speakers were already on, and I did not turn the music down.  I started reading, and was moved by a scary story about her 5-year-old daughter having a seizure and turning blue the other day, when she was home alone with five little ones--it turned out ok--and then suddenly the music was speaking to me, and my thankfullness swelled along with it, and I literally almost choked on a mouthful of tea, and had to put down the mug and stand up and dance, tears streaming (so like me), arms raised high (so not like me):

You opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you (Jesus)
You opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you.

from Beautiful One,** by Jeremy Camp


Song I hear at church, never before caught my attention much--look how the words match my experience this week!  Oh, my dear readers, I can't wait to share some of the back story, some of the things going on recently that have led my heart to be so open, so ready to hear and see and feel again!

So, until tomorrow, may all of you who seek Him today find Him in all His beauty!
With an overflowing of love,

blessed



*Go, listen.  turn up the sound and turn off the image, and listen to the words, the emotion.  This is me this week!  Whoo-hoo!!!!!! 

**Then go, listen.  This is God, always.  WHOO-HOO!!!! 

The Difference

I got up early one morning,

And rushed right into the day.

I had so much to accomplish,

That I didn’t take time to pray.

Problems tumbled about me,

And harder came each task.

“Why doesn’t God help me?” I wondered.

He answered, “You didn’t ask.”

I wanted joy and beauty,

But the day was gray and bleak,

I wondered why God didn’t show me,

He said, “You didn’t seek.”

I tried to come into God’s presence;

I used all my keys at the lock.

God gently and lovingly told me,

“My child, you didn’t knock.”

I woke up early this morning,

And paused before starting the day.

I had so much to accomplish,

That I had to take time to pray.

--Anonymous