Blessing of the Week: LOL*

See, this blog is not all lamentations--I still have my sense of humor.

Do you?

Let's check--here is an excerpt from a quite funny (and very irreverent! don't blame me for the bits that are too naughty for your taste!) blog I check out every now and then: Let's Panic About Babies. (http://www.lets-panic.com/)

They write today about strategies for getting your baby to sleep:
New parents naturally become easy targets for any gimmick or “expert” strategy. You’re tired, and you want a patented 27-step sleep-forcing solution; who doesn’t? People who love their children, that’s who. People who love their children more than they love sleep. Hey: will sleep pay for your elder care facility? No. That’s up to the child who loves you because you sacrificed your sleep for most of her life.

But if you still insist you need “sleep,” because you are “human,” we do have some tricks up our sleeves. Observe!

Easy Way Out #1: Nurse Your Child To Sleep
This method is fairly self-explanatory. You have a boob? Put it in your child’s mouth. A full tummy, the nurturing warmth of your body, and the rhythmic thump of your heart will almost certainly lull the average baby off to average baby dreamland. It’s just a temporary solution, so don’t worry about how this is all going to work when the kid is nine. Don’t worry!

Easy Way Out #2: Straight From The Bottle
Not breast feeding? We guess some people just don’t love their children (that’s what parole officers are for). Prepare a warm bottle full of human growth formula, hormone-laced cow’s milk, or vegan organic soy-free distilled water, drain into baby’s largest head aperture, prop it up with a pillow or indifferently arranged blanket, and go back to whatever you were doing that was so important.

Easy Way Out #3: The Electronic Babysitter
Baby will feel as though somebody loves him after you roll the TV cart right up next to his crib and leave it tuned to PBS all night. Eventually some kids’ show will come on after this Hitler thing is over, right?

If any of you want to check out this blog to read more, the "ads" alone are hilarious.



*Mom, that stands for "Laughing Out Loud."