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M and G amidst the crustations.
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As we walked through grotto after grotto and the first thrill of wonderment wore off, I started to think about all the money and labor involved, which seemed a waste--did God desire them to do this with so much of His resources?--and my eyes and brain were so oversaturated with texture and color that all the beauty of the rocks became tiresome and even gaudy. The predominant color of the Grotto, besides brown, is, surprisingly, pink. Borderline cheesy meditative instrumental music (I think they were going for angels and awe--I seem to recall lots of harps playing) follows you everywhere from loudspeakers that are wincingly hard to hide. My arms were going to break from carrying E around (steps and strollers not mixing--the Grotto was clearly built before accessibility laws came into effect) and I was letting myself entertain thoughts about how stereotypically Americans, and Christians in general, and Evangelicals in particular, have such monumentally bad taste and definitely run too easily into tacky excess. How I am uncomfortable with non-Christians seeing something like the Grotto and thinking it represents the values and taste of all Christians, and specifically me. (C'mon, esp. those of us who go to Vintage Faith church clearly have "hip" awareness and are probably much more comfortable with non-believers seeing us there than linking us with, say, a small congregation of overweight, Wal-Mart apparelled, bland-faced middle-Americans. I've been to churches like that in Indiana, and while I trust God was at work in them, I had no desire to visit twice.)
I am being vulnerable here, because clearly the "problem" with the Indiana churches or the Grotto lay not with them, but with me. I am judgmental at times in most unattractive ways, but luckily God does not let me get away with such thoughts unchecked. For as we finished our wanderings in the Grotto, we ended up in front of a sign that read:
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And I was completely, immediately, humbled. The sign, installed by the modern Catholics who maintain the Grotto and worship in the church next door, modestly but firmly takes the focus off the amazingness of the Grotto and puts it back on God. I repented of my negative thoughts and judging the hearts and motives of the people who built the Grotto, who operate it, who visit it. Would that when God looks into my heart, he sees a space for Himself as beautiful as the Grotto. As carefully fashioned with years and years of dedicated, joyful labor. So abundant with the tangible manifestations of God's handiwork, that all who come in contact with it are dazzled with beauty and filled with awe.
Further chastisement came when I started this blog entry the other day and visited the Grotto's website to read its history. I am clearly not the only visitor of the Grotto who has wondered at the cost of its making, for the website addressed this issue with a response that, again, places the whole human endeavor within the context of hearts in tune to God:
"No accounting was made either of the many man-hours of labor involved in building the Grotto or the money expended in gathering the stones and shaping them into a harmonious unit. This is perhaps because Father Dobberstein wanted the cost to be known to God alone."*
Looking back over this entry, I can see how much I overused the words "surprising," "beautiful," "unexpected"--but this is the truth of the whole Grotto of the Redemption experience. Moving through it, and processing all the different thoughts and feelings that came to me, left me a different person than when I went in. So while on one hand it was a gaudy pile of rocks, on the other hand, it was a truly spiritual experience. Thank you for joining me on the tour of both!
*http://www.westbendgrotto.com/
*http://www.westbendgrotto.com/
Lisa, I so enjoy your honest blog posts. I felt, as you did, but in a mini-version, the thoughts and feelings about this unique place. I just love the way you think and share. I so value your friendship and gift of storytelling.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words, Shera! They mean a lot to me, esp. when I am sharing rather unflattering things. : ) So glad to have you back in town--at least for a little while.
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