my near-story of non-adoption

I was just reading the other day one of my adoption blogs that President Barack Obama has officially proclaimed November as National Adoption Awareness Month. Well, good for him.  And hopefully good for the approximately 163,000,000 orphans world-wide.

163,000,000.  That is a really big number.
 
Just in case any of you were wondering--and if I have not already said this before--I do not think DH and I are supposed to adopt at this point.  That might change, and I am very open to it! I want to adopt--but it sure seems like God has gently shut doors on adoption for us so far. Here is one example of why I think so: years ago, when we first moved to CA, and had two young ones, I was really interested in learning more about adoption, esp. from Haiti.  (I had been wanting to adopt from Haiti since college.) I found an orphanage online that had a photo listing of about 80 children. As I read through the notes about the children, a sibling group of three girls caught my eye, and tugged on my heart.  And I thought that tug meant something.  Was a sign. 

But DH had never been very interested in adoption.  I honestly think he had just never considered it, so it was a completely foreign idea to him.  Also, he comes from a family where blood seems to determine family, and I think he grew up with a pretty rigid idea of who "family" is.  (I feel very blessed to have grown up in a family that had a much more loose definition of "family," and not only did I grow up with an "adoptive" older brother (a Chinese graduate student who for years was there for every birthday, for every holiday, who we loved), but even my grandparents on both sides had relationships and stories that continually blurred the lines between "friends" and "family.")

But one evening, my heart was just aching for those girls, and the orphans in Haiti in general, and so I asked DH to come look at the photolisting for just a minute, to humor me.  I said I knew we were not going to be persuing adoption any time soon, but I was just curious to know if we ever were to adopt, what kind of child might he lean towards?  So DH humored me, and came and looked.  And he choose the sibling group of three girls. 

My heart leapt.  The sign was a SIGN!!!!

And then, not more than a few days later, I saw an annoucement that the government of Haiti had ceased all international adoptions. 

And months later, there was still no change in the political environment there, and no indication of when the Haitian government would once again allow international adoptions.

Even though my heart grieved, I knew that was a sign.

(And I tried to contact the orphanage several times, since DH had agreed that maybe the girls were meant to be "ours" by some kind of financial sponsorship from afar--but no one ever responded to my emails or letter, and the photolisting was removed from the web.  That seemed like another sign.)

So, I don't know what that was all about.  But I do know it gave me hope that one day DH and I might be of one heart and mind towards adoption, and that God knows when and where He wants us to jump in, and that was not it.  And maybe that's all we were supposed to take away from the experience. . . So, until God indicates that part of His plan for us clearly, we are not going to persue adoption.

Oh, and I really do want to clarify that **I do not believe Christian families should wait to adopt until they see a "sign" from God.** The Bible is really clear that caring for widows and orphans = loving and obeying God. I strongly believe that every God-fearing family who claims faith in Jesus should be actively involved in caring for widows and orphans in some manner, and that God wants ALL his orphaned children in families. And that it should be the norm for Christian families to open their homes and hearts to children who need families, no matter where they come from. But even if it became the norm that believing families adopted, I also believe that there would be families that God would keep from adopting, for His Good reasons. So, yes, I do believe that people who claim to follow Jesus should pray and search for clues about whether or not He wants them to adopt; however, I also believe that "waiting for a sign" is a big cop-out for families who claim to love and serve God but who don't want to give up their comfortable American lives to do so.

Ok, end of sermon. ; )

So, right now, we are not adopting.  But I think God has been drawing me more and more into the whole world of adoption (virtually!) and I think I am doing things that fulfill His mandate to care for widows and orphans.   Reading the blogs of adoptive families I have learned so, so much about the world, about God at work, about the needs of those precious to Him all over the world, about practical needs of adoptive families--and that knowledge is helping me know how to reach out and support families who adopt. 

Whew!  This is getting longer than I intended, so I'll end here for now, and continue tomorrow.

Anyone who reads this, I'm mainly writing today for those who claim to be followers of Christ, just to encourage us all to think and pray about what He might want us each to do to obey His command to care for widows and orphans. 

But if you are not a Christian--well, what do you think about the need for families for the millions and millions of orphaned children around the world?  I would love to know what you think humankind's responsibility is for those who suffer, who are forgotten, who have no voice, who are at the mercy of the whims of bureaucrats and slavers, so please feel free to leave a comment!