It being Wednesday, I'm Anti-Procrastinating This Post

; )

Good morning everyone!  This is a post that is looooooong overdue. I've been writing a post to wrap up Christmas--with photos!--but it just seems like my brain is harder to get into blog mode these days.

I still want to write that post-Christmas post, even if its Feb when I do!  I want to share some good--and God--things about our holidays, including the time in Chico.  My scripture when I opened my Bible this morning was from the Psalms, when David was lamenting feeling far removed from God, and so he decided to purposefully look back and reflect upon all that God had done for His people.  I want to be sure to write the God stuff--I want to be able to look back and see His goodness in my life. : )

So, I'll see if I can't finish that later today. After all, it is Wednesday, anti-procrastination day!

Actually, I'm making this Anti-Procrastination Week. I feel like this is just one of those times when the things needing attended to are (literally!) piling up around me. And yet, this is a week when I have a little bit of breather room and can get things done. So, I am!

The skinny:

Things are good.

School.
School has settled down A LOT, all to do with my fabulous ES Terry.  That does not mean things are running as smoothly as they should in the high school department, but at least it's not completely overwhelming like it was last semester. (Which was partly my fault, because I had not quite understood what we were getting into, and partly not my fault, because the school was changing rules even as the semester went on, and even my amazing ES would have to frequently talk to higher-ups to figure out what the heck was required. That's not the school's fault either--since it is a public charter, the State had suddenly decided to be all up in its business and so they were having to scramble to address changes the State was making, from what I understand. But still--one big headache.)

With the other kids, I'm finding myself toying more and more with the idea of unschooling. I would not ever completely unschool--at this point I fear it would be more like just giving up, and research seems to prove that unschooling really only works best when it is a family lifestyle that the kids engage with from the beginning of their "schooling."  But the idea of it--letting go of the need to control what the kids learn, trusting in their own God-given curiosity to inspire them to learn, not really using traditional textbooks or programs to "do school"--has been really helpful for me, after all the stresses of last semester.  When I step back and look at everything they do and learn on a "bare bones school" day, it is so good to see all the learning and brain-growth that happened. They really are taking in what we learn and do, and helping grow their brains is the important thing--not the specific tool/method used to do it.

redwood logging

they built a model of the transcontinental railroad. (that "snow" represents the Sierra Nevadas.)  It was their idea entirely--when learning and play naturally meld together 

(if you look carefully you can see DH and three of our kids)

the kids all made homemade bows & arrows. and spears. 

 and slingshots.

what we imagine public school feels like. 

(just kidding! ; )

math

history

um. . . art? woodshop?

this photo sums it all up perfectly

In other words, its all good.

(exhale)

(And look at that!  I just did a School in Review for the Fall!  I always mean to do those and never remember or get around to it.  Score one for Anti-Procrastination Day!

Also, those photos represent just some of the fun and learning-valuable things we did this past Fall. There are more things recorded in photos still on my phone, or DH's phone, or things we didn't document at all. It is so good to look at these and remember--my kids are doing, and trying, and inventing and imagining, and when they do these things, they learn.


Family.
After Christmas, I told DH that I thought it would be great if I did not have to see his parents for about 6 months. I was just so tired of all the negative and realized I was really angry at my MIL for all she put us through (purposefully or not) this past holiday season.  But of course God. . . instead, they called the very next day and said they wanted to come see us that next weekend. : )  And guess what--it was a perfectly fine visit. Probably the nicest visit we have had in years.  Of course it was still totally stressful for me & DH, because we spend every moment waiting for the proverbial shoe to fall.  But overall it was a very good visit, which of course is good.  We know it won't last, but we should enjoy the good when we get it.

Thanksgiving 2014

Our little family unit is doing great. Not nearly as much teen drama from Sunny now that I'm not her homeschool boss.  I've been noticing how well-bonded our kids are to each other, and that is just such a blessing. I think about the kids who spend most of their lives apart from their siblings, and who then think their siblings are "annoying." My kids understand the reality that everyone is annoying sometimes, but siblings are special. Sharing beds helps too. They rotate who sleeps in what two bunks, always paired up, and that has really helped bond them closely as well. I can't imagine those families in which the adult kids don't really like each other, or even know each other.  Or in which the kids are estranged (or even just emotionally distant from) their parents. We're not doing everything perfectly--FAR from it. And I know something tragic could still happen in our lives to change all this. But right now, I look at my kids cuddling and whispering in bed, or piling on top of their daddy, or saying they miss me when I've been away for a day, and I have Peace about my kids.

The sign reads "The House of Love. Loving Evan."

Health.
We have been really quite healthy so far this winter--only one person had a bad cold so far (Sunny). But, it's January and the acacia trees are in full bloom, so my allergies are too.  Actually, even they have not been too bad--until last night. I don't know if I am getting a cold on top of the allergies or what, but I'm way worse today today than any day so far, and I had a terrible night of sleep. But still--no flu, nothing serious. I'm thankful.

And I'm still breathing with two nostrils, which means I'm good. : : )

OK, let's see. School, family, health.


House.
Um, yeah. That's not all good. But I'm focusing on the good today, so we'll talk about that later.

(Don't worry--the house is still standing, we are still cozy and warm and dry, it just seems like problems are coming faster than we can deal with them. Some little, some big.)

But the good thing about the house being a frustrating, overwhelming dump is that I am in big-time GO mode with cleaning out junk. I mean, I'm letting go of so much stuff. Get it GONE. Of course that's also partly because after Christmas we have even MORE stuff to find room for/make storage bins for.  But also partly because, despite my best efforts and continual purging and organizing, the underside of the house looks like an episode of Hoarders.  I've been cleaning out cupboards and looking at things I have not used for years, and thinking at those objects, "You are dead to me."  And then out it goes.

Anti-procrastination feels GOOD.

So, anyone care to join me this week?  Feel free to share your successes in the comments! : )

That's it for the moment--but more to come!  Until then, have a great Wednesday, everyone!

Christmas--our best efforts at Peace, Peace

When I posted that video the other day (and sorry about the terrible look of the video, everyone--I don't know why blogger and facebook make my videos such poor visual quality when I post them) I did so with such a mixture of loving memories for my children and disappointment at everyone else.  Because, see, there are actually three of those videos my Dear Husband took, and watching them in order tells quite a different story than what just that first video conveys.

That first video (I wish you could see our faces properly!) shows us happy and relaxed. The kids are smiling, and looking at Great-Grandma, who was seated about three feet away from us us in the entry between the kitchen and dining room there at MIL's house.  You can tell how loud we are, as DH was standing in the kitchen filming, with his mother rinsing dishes at the sink (no, she did not watch the performance).  We sounded pretty good, too, given that I taught the girls the song in the car on the way up to Chico, and this was our first time singing it together without me clapping to keep the time. My voice broke at one place, because we had to do this in a hurry (when we heard MIL and FIL discussing taking Great-Grandma back down to her house for the night) and could not even warm up our voices first, but otherwise we sound nice.  We did this as a present for Great-Grandma, because she was musical her whole life (plays harmonica, taught her daughters piano) and we thought she would like it.

I mean, c'mon--cute great-grandchildren singing a pretty little song about Peace they learned just for you? What's not to love?

Well. It was not received at all the way we thought, and the videos DH took show the downward progression. You can hear Great-Grandma start to speak at the very end of that video--she is saying we need to do it again, and this time loud enough to be heard.  She kinda complained for a good minute about how we can't expect to sing for other people if we don't even sing loudly enough to be heard. Ok, sure Great-Grandma, we'll do it again. We understand you might be a little hard of hearing, and after all, this is a present for you.

So we sang it again. And again, DH took a video. This time the video shows us singing very loudly, our efforts to be purposefully as loud as possible making us not sound quite so good, and throwing off our rhythm so our sweet little song has a bit more of a dirge-like quality.  The children are no longer smiling as much, and are looking more at me than at Great-Grandma as they seek leadership and affirmation. My voice and smile are a tad more strained, as I try to lead the kids in volume without drowning them out, while starting to stiffen from the criticism but pretend nothing's wrong. We don't sound as good, and are much stiffer and forced. Halfway through the video you can hear MIL stopping her rattling of dishes to hiss at us to be louder yet.

That second performance of "Peace, Peace" was met with a "That was nice but. . ." and more criticism about needing to sing louder, from both Great-Grandma and MIL.

In the third video, we attempt what was supposed to be the conclusion to our little Christmas gift performance--a blending of "Peace, Peace" with "Silent Night." This video makes me laugh, it is so terrible. By now, the kids and I are quieter again, since a) we are trying to listen to one another and not drown out anyone else's parts, and b) we had unconsciously given up on pleasing others with our volume. The kids are not smiling and are looking solely at me--partly from the need to concentrate and get all three parts to work together nicely, and partly because they are disappointed in the reception of the song.  We are all stiff. For some reason, DH's video is blurry.  It's a terrible video of a mediocre performance--so painful to watch it actually made me laugh our loud, wryly, as it seems to perfectly sum up all of Christmas 2014 in Chico.

Our genuine best efforts to be thoughtful and please others, not received well.

Highly imperfect.  Messy.

Sigh.

I love Great-Grandma, and was really surprised that she was not more gracious.  I don't think she is quite that deaf, so something else must have been happening there. Maybe a bit of ancient family patterns coming out. Otherwise our time spent with her this visit was nice and positive.

Our time with MIL started out--as usual--well but then went very quickly downhill. We had about one unexpected negative altercation a day, and I chose more often to excuse myself from those negative discussions than to engage in them. I spent more time upstairs in our room than ever before, and that was a good thing (we're talking several 10-20 minute breaks, and excusing myself for bed at 9:30, when I could--not hiding out for hours on end, which I would have been sorely tempted to do at times!). Overall it was not a great Christmas. But it is also really good for me to remember that Christmases in the past have been much, much worse. So that's a good to focus on.

Also, God was there throughout. And He talked to me.  So that's a Good to focus on.

I'll share some snippets and God stuff with you later. I just wanted to blog a quick little bit because I didn't want anyone wondering/worrying about how it all went down this year.  : )

It wasn't great. But it wasn't horrible either. : )

I hope you all had really good Christmases!  May God pour out His blessings upon you in this New Year!